I love him but don’t like him. Feeling stuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman and the 'I can't figure out parking on my own' would be a warning sign for me. Co-dependent. Even my 80-year old mother can figure out parking in D.C. when she comes to visit.

Yeah--going out and having to move your car daily--he's a Saint. And, I would get tired of that sh*t fast.

He didn’t move my car everyday. At most it’s every 4 days. Typically once a week.

So 1-2x a week for a year? You are really trying to belittle this? That's 52-100+ times of this that you havent managed to figure out? Even when you literally dont have a job and are just sitting at home?

C'mon.

Sorry, you moved in OVER a year ago, so even more!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman and the 'I can't figure out parking on my own' would be a warning sign for me. Co-dependent. Even my 80-year old mother can figure out parking in D.C. when she comes to visit.

Yeah--going out and having to move your car daily--he's a Saint. And, I would get tired of that sh*t fast.

He didn’t move my car everyday. At most it’s every 4 days. Typically once a week.

So 1-2x a week for a year? You are really trying to belittle this? That's 52-100+ times of this that you havent managed to figure out? Even when you literally dont have a job and are just sitting at home?

C'mon.

Sorry, you moved in OVER a year ago, so even more!

Then he shouldn’t have been doing it for op, unasked!! He was trying to be cute and realized he didn’t want to continue doing that anymore. You all act like this grown man doesn’t have agency and a mouth to tell OP. Stop coddling this grown man who yells and curses in the street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just out of curiosity, what’s the parking like?

It’s all very confusing. On Monday while he was out he told me I needed to move my car by 11:30am. I Did that. Then yesterday he said I needed to move it again. I did. Then this morning he said I needed to move it again by 12pm, BACK to where I was parked yesterday. Then I’m allowed to park where it says 2 hr parking only, which is confusing, so he said they typically don’t tow is that part of the block on Sundays. It’s really over the place. It’s not a simple on Tuesdays they street clean by 9 am or it’s zone 1 parking but you’re zone 2 so you can’t park there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an underlying, core meanness here that is not going to change. I had your realization early in our relationship but was paralyzed from my own self doubt and the prospect of a failed relationship / engagement. Fast forward 10 years and 2 kids, and it is very difficult. It will get so much worse.

Preface by saying I’m genuinely asking because we’re only her side, what makes you think there’s a core meanness and not something like stress from work?

Your question is reasonable. I think that normally when people are stressed, they don’t resort to cruel/mean statements (eg making fun or laughing at someone) OR, if they do, they recognize it shortly after and apologize. My husband does not do that. He leans into his cruel comment and explains how I deserved it.

That said, after seeing OP’s responses over the past couple of pages, it is clear that she has some issues as well— not really knowing how to be self sufficient, passiveness, and probably others— which makes me feel it is unlikely she is going to take the advice offered on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just out of curiosity, what’s the parking like?

It’s all very confusing. On Monday while he was out he told me I needed to move my car by 11:30am. I Did that. Then yesterday he said I needed to move it again. I did. Then this morning he said I needed to move it again by 12pm, BACK to where I was parked yesterday. Then I’m allowed to park where it says 2 hr parking only, which is confusing, so he said they typically don’t tow is that part of the block on Sundays. It’s really over the place. It’s not a simple on Tuesdays they street clean by 9 am or it’s zone 1 parking but you’re zone 2 so you can’t park there.

Can you not read? The signs? Why is he telling you when you need to move it?

Also YOU NEED A RESIDENTIAL PARKING PASS

I’m yelling at you and we’re not even married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman and the 'I can't figure out parking on my own' would be a warning sign for me. Co-dependent. Even my 80-year old mother can figure out parking in D.C. when she comes to visit.

Yeah--going out and having to move your car daily--he's a Saint. And, I would get tired of that sh*t fast.

He didn’t move my car everyday. At most it’s every 4 days. Typically once a week.

So 1-2x a week for a year? You are really trying to belittle this? That's 52-100+ times of this that you havent managed to figure out? Even when you literally dont have a job and are just sitting at home?

C'mon.

Sorry, you moved in OVER a year ago, so even more!

Jesus. He doesn’t move my car every time it needs to be moved. I’ve moved my car 3x this week. He hasn’t touched my car once in almost 2 weeks.

I said in the OP he typically does it, not he does it every time. The car usually has to be moved every 4-7 days but this week with homecoming I’ve had to move it 3x.

And to add a little more context he moves my car also for safety reasons because this part of DC isn’t the safest so he even says to me he doesn’t want moving the car at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just out of curiosity, what’s the parking like?

It’s all very confusing. On Monday while he was out he told me I needed to move my car by 11:30am. I Did that. Then yesterday he said I needed to move it again. I did. Then this morning he said I needed to move it again by 12pm, BACK to where I was parked yesterday. Then I’m allowed to park where it says 2 hr parking only, which is confusing, so he said they typically don’t tow is that part of the block on Sundays. It’s really over the place. It’s not a simple on Tuesdays they street clean by 9 am or it’s zone 1 parking but you’re zone 2 so you can’t park there.

Can you not read? The signs? Why is he telling you when you need to move it?

Also YOU NEED A RESIDENTIAL PARKING PASS

I’m yelling at you and we’re not even married.

I can. If you had read my reply to the PP you would’ve seen that I said that I moved my car 3x this week and he doesn’t do it every time. The neighborhood isn’t the safest. I got robbed and assaulted last year and he doesn’t want me moving my car. You can stop yelling now.

https://imgur.com/a/3TJafqH

[Anonymous]

You’re and adult car owner who lives in one state but whose car is registered in another state. Can you not figure out where to park without another adult’s inputs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re and adult car owner who lives in one state but whose car is registered in another state. Can you not figure out where to park without another adult’s inputs?

She was robbed and her husband doesn’t/didn’t want her moving the car. This makes him seem even more like a POS.

[Anonymous]

TROLL

[Anonymous]

The parking issue is beside the point. Geez! Her BF is being a d**che.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parking issue is beside the point. Geez! Her BF is being a d**che.

This! I don’t get why so many people are hung on up this. This is NOT how you handle conflict/frustration with anyone - that’s the issue.

[Anonymous]

Honey, I say this as someone who had multiple long term relationships before I got married, but you’re dodging a bullet to not marry him. I had shitty boyfriends that were at almost the engagement stage and always tries to make it work.

Do NOT get married to this guy. He is not not not fundamentally kind and you would hate having kids and being with him for the rest of your life.

Don’t do it. Leave and find someone kind. The Covid thing is a huge red flag.

And yes, I’ve been married for 14 years and my husband had never done anything like what you’re describing. And yes he’s an ass in certain ways but I fundamentally RESPECT him.

There are good guys out there, this guy is not one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read the whole thing so I assume the fiancé is a monster.

But you are also a monster because not changing your plates because of a hypothetical future move and then having to move your car constantly is madness and would be grounds for divorce to me if my spouse did it, especially if I was expected to be involved in moving the car in any way.

This is perfectly reasonable agreement. Your fiancé is an ass.
I didn’t expect. I didn’t ask. He would ask for my keys and did it for me because I would drive hours to come see him, as I said in the OP I’m not from the city. I moved in once we got engaged last year and he continued to move my car. It costs thousand to register plate in the city and we both decided to save the money for our house and wedding since we didn’t plan on living in the city much longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you are married, you could try counseling before divorce. Just be aware that you will BOTH have to change. It’s not just your DH, from your posts it sounds like you are causing issues as well - it’s not all on DH.

So I guess get therapy if you are both up for hard work, reflection, & improving your communication skills. If you just want to go to make DH nicer, then skip to divorce.

I wish DCUM would read updates/replied before commenting. This is all DH because he’s emotionally abusive and therapy will not change that.

Poster here. I did read all of the updates, including the one sitting outside. I still think we are getting one view, and OP has her own issues.