I love him but don’t like him. Feeling stuck.

[Anonymous]

So why are you still there? Free rent? It doesnt seem like either of you want to be together, just rip off the bandaid.

[Anonymous]

It’s lonier in a bad relationship than being on your own

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn how to do basic things in life, like read parking signs and change your registration. Also, for both your sakes, break up. You two are incompatible and have a bad pattern of helplessness and resentfulness that will eat away at your relationship.

+1

You are helpless, and he is frustrated with your lack of common sense, OP. You need to find someone MUCH more patient.

He’s frustrated with her lack of common sense but can’t open a zip file? Please. Are you going to justify him yelling at her while sick too because of a blanket?

PP, if he’s yelling at her while sick, cursing and yelling at her in public and these are just two examples that we know of, how awful is this guy? I bet my life that he’s been yelling and berating at this poor girl for years over minor things. Am I right, OP? He’s emotionally abusive but yes, the moving the car is an issue.

Yes, you’re right. Didn’t see the point in adding more than just what happened today. A few months ago I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake him up by watching tv (live in a small condo and it was 2am) so I went outside to go sit on the steps thinking the fresh air would help me relax a bit. About 10 minutes later he called me and said he was “sick of this sh*t” and to pack my things and get out.

This is emotional abuse. He will only get worse. You need to get out asap.

[Anonymous]

Just break up. You are helpless and your boyfriend is an a hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've been engaged over a year. Is their a wedding planned?

Things should not feel like this at the stage you are at. Not one bit. It's not a red flag. It's a red blanket and you are suffocating under it. Proceed with marrying this person and you'll regret it.

+1 I get why you don’t like him. But why do you love him? What a small, petty guy. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

[Anonymous]

Wow. You sound high-maintenance...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've been engaged over a year. Is their a wedding planned?

Things should not feel like this at the stage you are at. Not one bit. It's not a red flag. It's a red blanket and you are suffocating under it. Proceed with marrying this person and you'll regret it.

+1 I get why you don’t like him. But why do you love him? What a small, petty guy. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

x10000

Kicking you out in the middle of the night for sitting on the steps? He’s a POS.

[Anonymous]

First you say you are saving for a wedding. Now you say you are married. Makes no sense that you wouldn't mention that in your original post.

Either way, just get gone. You don't LIKE him. He doesn't like you. You are driving each other nuts. The only reason you mentioned not to break up with him is that you don't want him to be with anyone else. That's lousy.

Life is short. Why live with someone you don't even like? If he was just your roommate, you'd be looking for a new place to live immediately.

[Anonymous]

Since you are married, you could try counseling before divorce. Just be aware that you will BOTH have to change. It’s not just your DH, from your posts it sounds like you are causing issues as well - it’s not all on DH.

So I guess get therapy if you are both up for hard work, reflection, & improving your communication skills. If you just want to go to make DH nicer, then skip to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you are married, you could try counseling before divorce. Just be aware that you will BOTH have to change. It’s not just your DH, from your posts it sounds like you are causing issues as well - it’s not all on DH.

So I guess get therapy if you are both up for hard work, reflection, & improving your communication skills. If you just want to go to make DH nicer, then skip to divorce.

I wish DCUM would read updates/replied before commenting. This is all DH because he’s emotionally abusive and therapy will not change that.

[Anonymous]

I'm a woman and the 'I can't figure out parking on my own' would be a warning sign for me. Co-dependent. Even my 80-year old mother can figure out parking in D.C. when she comes to visit.

Yeah--going out and having to move your car daily--he's a Saint. And, I would get tired of that sh*t fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you’ve lived there for a year so you should really have figured out the parking situation by now. It’s your car so it’s your responsibility.

That said, this sounds like a terrible match and will only get worse if and when you actually are “stuck.” Right now you don’t even have a lease agreement tying you to him. Time to break up.

How is my fault that he just did it for me? I didn’t ask for him to move car for me, he just always did. Even today I didn’t ask him to come out to move it. Either way, that’s besides the point . It’s not about the car it’s about how he handled it. If he was tired of doing that for me then he could and should have just said it. I have never once asked him to that for me he would always say, even we were dating, “where are you car keys? I’m going to move your car”. He’s an adult he could have just told me in a calm, respectful way that he didn’t want to do it anymore instead of telling wtf at me and in the middle of the side walk.

When someone is helping you with something like that it should make you even MORE motivated to fix it. You’re out of work! Why, in so many months that he has been kindly moving the car for you, did you not take a morning and go to the stupid DMV so that he wouldn’t have to do that for you any more? That’s insane to me. He’s insane for moving it that long but you’re much more nuts for not just fixing the stupid problem. Then you finally DID move it yourself and you called him for help??? How could anyone NOT be annoyed with you? You sound helpless in the worst way.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman and the 'I can't figure out parking on my own' would be a warning sign for me. Co-dependent. Even my 80-year old mother can figure out parking in D.C. when she comes to visit.

Yeah--going out and having to move your car daily--he's a Saint. And, I would get tired of that sh*t fast.

He didn’t move my car everyday. At most it’s every 4 days. Typically once a week.

[Anonymous]

Just out of curiosity, what’s the parking like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman and the 'I can't figure out parking on my own' would be a warning sign for me. Co-dependent. Even my 80-year old mother can figure out parking in D.C. when she comes to visit.

Yeah--going out and having to move your car daily--he's a Saint. And, I would get tired of that sh*t fast.

He didn’t move my car everyday. At most it’s every 4 days. Typically once a week.

So 1-2x a week for a year? You are really trying to belittle this? That's 52-100+ times of this that you havent managed to figure out? Even when you literally dont have a job and are just sitting at home?

C'mon.