No-show at kids' bday party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

You and the OP have no idea why the parent did not bring the kid. Her first response is to be annoyed and condemn the guest instead of thinking hmm, hope everything is ok.. and understand if there's a reason why they are sharing why they weren't there. Things happen in families that are private.

+1000 It could have been an extremely sensitive issue that the parent did not feel comfortable explaining in more detail. Here's an anecdote. One time my sister was hosting a b-day party for one of my nieces at a not cheap venue and niece's best friend was a total no show. Niece and my sister were peeved but didn't press the issue with the girl's parents. Sister found out months later someone in the girl's family had a suicide attempt the morning of the party. Good thing my sister didn't give in to a bad impulse to send a text conveying how peeved she was! OK now I know that is extreme and unlikely most of the time, but it shows you that you just never know!

I think someone in that situation would just say there was a family emergency (either before or after the party) and then as the host I think you extend them the grace that they really had to miss the event without asking for further details.

As someone who was raised in a very dysfunctional family, there are times where we would never have done that for fear of follow-up questions. It might seem easy to you, but you're not in their shoes.

So now we are all supposed to feel nothing when people are disrespectful toward us because they may be dysfunctional and scared of a friend caring about their well-being by asking if they’re ok? What kind of messed up twisted justification is that?! I get that it’s an explanation but it’s certainly not an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

You and the OP have no idea why the parent did not bring the kid. Her first response is to be annoyed and condemn the guest instead of thinking hmm, hope everything is ok.. and understand if there's a reason why they are sharing why they weren't there. Things happen in families that are private.

+1000 It could have been an extremely sensitive issue that the parent did not feel comfortable explaining in more detail. Here's an anecdote. One time my sister was hosting a b-day party for one of my nieces at a not cheap venue and niece's best friend was a total no show. Niece and my sister were peeved but didn't press the issue with the girl's parents. Sister found out months later someone in the girl's family had a suicide attempt the morning of the party. Good thing my sister didn't give in to a bad impulse to send a text conveying how peeved she was! OK now I know that is extreme and unlikely most of the time, but it shows you that you just never know!

I think someone in that situation would just say there was a family emergency (either before or after the party) and then as the host I think you extend them the grace that they really had to miss the event without asking for further details.

As someone who was raised in a very dysfunctional family, there are times where we would never have done that for fear of follow-up questions. It might seem easy to you, but you're not in their shoes.

So now we are all supposed to feel nothing when people are disrespectful toward us because they may be dysfunctional and scared of a friend caring about their well-being by asking if they’re ok? What kind of messed up twisted justification is that?! I get that it’s an explanation but it’s certainly not an excuse.

Ummm the point is just that you make assumptions and they are just that. Do with that what you will. Nobody is forcing you to be gracious lol

[Anonymous]

Always expect one to two cancellations at an event you are hosting. It’s just the way of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

You and the OP have no idea why the parent did not bring the kid. Her first response is to be annoyed and condemn the guest instead of thinking hmm, hope everything is ok.. and understand if there's a reason why they are sharing why they weren't there. Things happen in families that are private.

+1000 It could have been an extremely sensitive issue that the parent did not feel comfortable explaining in more detail. Here's an anecdote. One time my sister was hosting a b-day party for one of my nieces at a not cheap venue and niece's best friend was a total no show. Niece and my sister were peeved but didn't press the issue with the girl's parents. Sister found out months later someone in the girl's family had a suicide attempt the morning of the party. Good thing my sister didn't give in to a bad impulse to send a text conveying how peeved she was! OK now I know that is extreme and unlikely most of the time, but it shows you that you just never know!

I think someone in that situation would just say there was a family emergency (either before or after the party) and then as the host I think you extend them the grace that they really had to miss the event without asking for further details.

As someone who was raised in a very dysfunctional family, there are times where we would never have done that for fear of follow-up questions. It might seem easy to you, but you're not in their shoes.

So now we are all supposed to feel nothing when people are disrespectful toward us because they may be dysfunctional and scared of a friend caring about their well-being by asking if they’re ok? What kind of messed up twisted justification is that?! I get that it’s an explanation but it’s certainly not an excuse.

Ummm the point is just that you make assumptions and they are just that. Do with that what you will. Nobody is forcing you to be gracious lol

Well yeah, if you decide not to communicate with your friend, then all one can do is make assumptions. If you want someone to know the truth you can tell them.

[Anonymous]

I feel like folks who blow things off never hosted a kids birthday party. Not like glorified play date at the house but something at a venue.

[Anonymous]

I once completely forgot about a birthday party. I didn't remember until the next day when my friend texted me. I felt awful and was very apologetic. Not the case with this mom so who knows what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

You and the OP have no idea why the parent did not bring the kid. Her first response is to be annoyed and condemn the guest instead of thinking hmm, hope everything is ok.. and understand if there's a reason why they are sharing why they weren't there. Things happen in families that are private.

+1000 It could have been an extremely sensitive issue that the parent did not feel comfortable explaining in more detail. Here's an anecdote. One time my sister was hosting a b-day party for one of my nieces at a not cheap venue and niece's best friend was a total no show. Niece and my sister were peeved but didn't press the issue with the girl's parents. Sister found out months later someone in the girl's family had a suicide attempt the morning of the party. Good thing my sister didn't give in to a bad impulse to send a text conveying how peeved she was! OK now I know that is extreme and unlikely most of the time, but it shows you that you just never know!

I think someone in that situation would just say there was a family emergency (either before or after the party) and then as the host I think you extend them the grace that they really had to miss the event without asking for further details.

As someone who was raised in a very dysfunctional family, there are times where we would never have done that for fear of follow-up questions. It might seem easy to you, but you're not in their shoes.

Frankly you’re the type of person we like to avoid, so your lack of communication would have communicated that to us.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes people forget, sometimes people get sick, sometimes something else happens like a death in the family. Life happens. One no show is no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, this is just part of the package with throwing parties. We’ve had people show up without RSVPing that we had to then pay extra for. We’ve had people cancel minutes before. We’ve had people just not show up without ever mentioning it again. We’ve even had a kid show up with 15 minutes left in the party, eat pizza and cake, take the party favor, and leave. Super frustrating and rude, but we now expect at least one family per party to do something like this.

[Anonymous]

Annoying. But I wouldn't let it take up residence in my brain. Stuff happens. People are flaky. If you're going to throw a party, be prepared for something to go wrong and just let it go.

[Anonymous]

If you only had one no show that’s actually excellent. Most people are much flakier. It’s annoying but it’s the way of the world.

At my DS’s 7 year old birthday party (1st grade), we invited the whole class to the trampoline park. About half yeses, I think 12 kids. Well 2 people no-showed, 1 person showed up without RSVPing with a sibling in tow, and 2 of the kids who RSVP’d yes showed up with their siblings without the parent mentioning it first. Fortunately the trampoline park employees seemed not to notice or care.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you send her a bill?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've learned to send a reminder next time, with a request to let you know asap if a child can't make it.

+1 this would avoid a lot of these sorts of issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

You and the OP have no idea why the parent did not bring the kid. Her first response is to be annoyed and condemn the guest instead of thinking hmm, hope everything is ok.. and understand if there's a reason why they are sharing why they weren't there. Things happen in families that are private.

+1000 It could have been an extremely sensitive issue that the parent did not feel comfortable explaining in more detail. Here's an anecdote. One time my sister was hosting a b-day party for one of my nieces at a not cheap venue and niece's best friend was a total no show. Niece and my sister were peeved but didn't press the issue with the girl's parents. Sister found out months later someone in the girl's family had a suicide attempt the morning of the party. Good thing my sister didn't give in to a bad impulse to send a text conveying how peeved she was! OK now I know that is extreme and unlikely most of the time, but it shows you that you just never know!

I think someone in that situation would just say there was a family emergency (either before or after the party) and then as the host I think you extend them the grace that they really had to miss the event without asking for further details.

As someone who was raised in a very dysfunctional family, there are times where we would never have done that for fear of follow-up questions. It might seem easy to you, but you're not in their shoes.

+1 usually they are choosing to look rude because the alternative is even worse. Just give some grace

-1 they could choose to look gracious by apologizing for their mistake but they’re choosing to look rude.

[Anonymous]

See if the venue will issue you, not a refund, but a day pass for your kid to come back.

They’d say no to any portion of a refund slid course, but I’ve had friends ask in this situation.. and they got some passes to come back.