PSA: I lost a lot of weight. Please don’t mention it!

Anonymous
OP, don't take it personally. Half the people who have lost weight get upset when nobody says anything. The other half get upset when somebody says something, no matter how benign.

People aren't judging or trying to make you feel bad - they just don't know which half you fall into. So just roll with it. Figure out a quick answer and move on with the conversation.
Anonymous
I will never understand people wanting others to comment on their bodies.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I lost a lot of weight after being hospitalized for a serious illness and I had a colleague who wouldn’t shut up about how great I looked. It was a really strange experience.


I lost a bunch of weight when I had chemo, was extremely pale nd bald, yet my coworkers kept saying how great I looked because I was thinner.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I will never understand people wanting others to comment on their bodies.


Do you like when ppl comment on Your huge project at work that landed a big deal? Your writing? Your design choices in your house? Many people like to be complimented when they work hard on something and see results. I see this as no different than complimenting my body but I work out hard and am strong AF.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I will never understand people wanting others to comment on their bodies.


I once had a colleague getting upset that nobody commented on her haircut when she had 6 inches cut off. Her ire was directed at a bunch of older men that were part of her work team. She liked her new cut and thought they were blind not to notice.

People are visual creatures. If there's a big change to someone's appearance, people will notice it. If it's a positive change, a lot of ppl want the validation and acknowledgement from their friends and colleagues. It's human nature.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I will never understand people wanting others to comment on their bodies.


Do you like when ppl comment on Your huge project at work that landed a big deal? Your writing? Your design choices in your house? Many people like to be complimented when they work hard on something and see results. I see this as no different than complimenting my body but I work out hard and am strong AF.


I am proud of the things I do for which my choices have a significant amount of control over the outcome. Sometimes, for some people, bodies do what they're going to do, and there's no way of knowing if that's the situation.

I'm proud when I'm using my abilities to do something that helps other people. In those cases, I want people to notice. But no one benefits or is harmed in a material way from another person's appearance.

But by all means, if someone wants to tell people, "I worked really hard to lose weight, and it's important to me that other people be impressed," they should go ahead.
Anonymous
This is how I generally treat weight loss/gain. My mom got bariatric surgery and lost like 100+ lbs and its ALL she ever wants to talk about. Grosses me out.
<insert gun to head emojis>
Anonymous
Ultimately there are just so many more interesting things to talk about. People who still endlessly talk about their body weight are very boring to me.
Anonymous
Sorry, but I am going to say something. You will just have to tough it out OP.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I am going to say something. You will just have to tough it out OP.


Seriously. Why though? Are you only only saying the look great because they lost the weight? Would you say something if they lost the only the weight but otherwise looked just normal and not great? In other words, is the "You look great " compliment for the weight loss only? Real questions.

Signed,
Previously 308lbs now 156lbs.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I lost 25 pounds and was really bummed not one person said anything about it. It was really depressing that I worked SO HARD and it wasn't even enough for anyone to notice enough to say anything.


It really is quite rude to comment on a person's weight. Even if it's meant to be complimentary. You can always bring it up yourself.


This is really individual. Some think it’s rude, others are delighted. Take your cue from how easy-going people are in other areas of their life.


No - it is rude, period. Yes you can get away with it in some cases but you are still being rude.


Newsflash: you are not the final authority on what is rude or not.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I will never understand people wanting others to comment on their bodies.


You don't understand that people have different opinions and desires? That you perhaps think your husband is attractive and others think he's not?

Get that?
Anonymous
[twitter]
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I lost 25 pounds and was really bummed not one person said anything about it. It was really depressing that I worked SO HARD and it wasn't even enough for anyone to notice enough to say anything.


It really is quite rude to comment on a person's weight. Even if it's meant to be complimentary. You can always bring it up yourself.


This is really individual. Some think it’s rude, others are delighted. Take your cue from how easy-going people are in other areas of their life.


No - it is rude, period. Yes you can get away with it in some cases but you are still being rude.


Newsflash: you are not the final authority on what is rude or not.


Amen! I was thrilled when someone noticed my weight loss. I worked hard! It wasn’t rude at all. Not for those of us without sticks up out a$$es, at least.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I am going to say something. You will just have to tough it out OP.


Seriously. Why though? Are you only only saying the look great because they lost the weight? Would you say something if they lost the only the weight but otherwise looked just normal and not great? In other words, is the "You look great " compliment for the weight loss only? Real questions.

Signed,
Previously 308lbs now 156lbs.


NP

If someone lost weight but looked terrible I wouldn’t say “you look great!” I wouldn’t say anything. If someone lost weight and was all toned and peppy, I’d say “you look great!” because they do.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:[twitter]
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I lost 25 pounds and was really bummed not one person said anything about it. It was really depressing that I worked SO HARD and it wasn't even enough for anyone to notice enough to say anything.


It really is quite rude to comment on a person's weight. Even if it's meant to be complimentary. You can always bring it up yourself.


This is really individual. Some think it’s rude, others are delighted. Take your cue from how easy-going people are in other areas of their life.


No - it is rude, period. Yes you can get away with it in some cases but you are still being rude.


Newsflash: you are not the final authority on what is rude or not.


Amen! I was thrilled when someone noticed my weight loss. I worked hard! It wasn’t rude at all. Not for those of us without sticks up out a$$es, at least.


This post was timely for me because I've recently lost about 35 pounds, and very few people have commented. I am a bit disappointed that only a few people have mentioned it, but then I tell myself that maybe they didn't realize how large I had gotten.
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