Was having kids worth the risk it took on your looks?

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind a lot of that is just normal aging. You’re going to get gray hair and wrinkles eventually no matter if you have kids or not. With people now tending to have kids more in their 30s vs. their 20s, you hit both the post-kids looks change and the aging at the same time. But make no mistake - age comes for us all.

[Anonymous]

The most persuasive reason to not have kids is the time, money, autonomy, and peace of mind you get to keep, not the skin elasticity, tummy tautness or breast perkiness.

(Still would give up all of the above for my kids, though I guess I used my looks to attract the guy who gave them to me and didn't really lose much of them after. You can have it all.)

[Anonymous]

My figure and looks actually improved after kids. I look better now than I did 15 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering. Lot of women gain a lot of weight they can't lose after a baby. Some I see with gray or white hair immediately after or while pregnant. Melasma and new wrinkles. I'd like kids but wondering if the reason most celebrities use surrogates is because they don't want a baby to wreck their body. A lot of celebs over 30 are using surrogates.

I mean the reason women want to look good is to attract a man who will put a baby in them. After they get those babies I don’t think most care about their appearance anymore since the primary goal has been achieved.

Not true at all. Most women care about appearance with or without the need to impress a man. In fact I think a lot of women care more about how they look to other women and how they appear in general not necessarily to attract a mate.

[Anonymous]

My childless friends look the same as me at 40.

The main thing is to make sure to get rid of the baby weight.

[Anonymous]

Preganancy has medical risks outside of gaining weight, such as childbirth injury. I know women who needed hysterectomies following childbirth. I believe that my own IVF treatments caused my breast cancer. No one I know regrets having children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wondering. Lot of women gain a lot of weight they can't lose after a baby. Some I see with gray or white hair immediately after or while pregnant. Melasma and new wrinkles. I'd like kids but wondering if the reason most celebrities use surrogates is because they don't want a baby to wreck their body. A lot of celebs over 30 are using surrogates.

Believe ot or not child free people get older and fatter too!

[Anonymous]

Anyone who could post this maybe shouldn't really have kids. There's a selflessness that's required that you're not grokking. Either serious self reflection needed or maybe just skip it and get a cat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, there was no question. I always wanted kids and am happy to have them. I also got lucky and got two awesome kids.

But, seriously, if you are even asking this question, just don't have kids. Your priorities are screwed up. If you were asking about risks to your -health- and the changes that can happen with pregnancy to your health, that would be one thing. But your looks? Nope. Don't have kids. Just do what you do best and focus on yourself.

Disagree, it's a fine question to ask. Your looks are part of who you are, and feeling upset about your changing body is a really common effect of pregnancy and parenting (also associated with PPD). And that's without the unrealistic pressure we put on women to "bounce back." We are allowed to care how we look.

Worrying about this does not make OP unfit to parent, it makes her honest with herself about whether she's ready to be a parent.

Wow, no, looks are not part of "who you are." They are simply your container. The wrapping paper, if you will. If you really believe "[y]our looks are a part of who you are," then aging is going to be very very tough on you, kid or not.

[Anonymous]

Celebrities don’t retain youth by only having surrogate, many and most have night nurses and round the clock and often multiple nannies, not to mention and support staff/drivers/cooks both when kids are young and when kids get older— it’s how many celebrities get sleep and time to workout, etc. There are for sure celebrities that don’t do this, but unless you are a celebrity or otherwise wealthy to have a house staff, don’t start your “is it worth it,” thought process by thinking you would ever be in same boat to make your decisions.

[Anonymous]

This has got to be the shallowest question ever...

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who adopted her children because of this concern. She has always been very focused on looks and even today (at 60) looks 30. So maybe it was worth it to her, and she still has two (now adult) children.

[Anonymous]

Of course.

The other thing is that kids shift your priorities. I dress worse, I eat worse, my clothes and outfits aren't as well picked out, I'm not as well groomed, I never accessorize, I weigh more not because I don't care, but because my time is by FAR my most precious resource right now and I'm actively deciding, eyes wide open, to spend it elsewhere.

It's a season of life. Right now, I focus on my kids, my husband, rest, and maintaining hobbies and friends. When the kids are less needy, I'll shift my attention.

[Anonymous]

If that is a main concern you should not be having children. That should be the least of your concerns. The vanity here is worrisome.

[Anonymous]

Kind of a weird post since most celebrities definitely don’t use surrogates