Was having kids worth the risk it took on your looks?

[Anonymous]

Wondering. Lot of women gain a lot of weight they can't lose after a baby. Some I see with gray or white hair immediately after or while pregnant. Melasma and new wrinkles. I'd like kids but wondering if the reason most celebrities use surrogates is because they don't want a baby to wreck their body. A lot of celebs over 30 are using surrogates.

[Anonymous]

Omg hold on to your hat then as you lose sleep for the next 3 to 5 YEARS.

Yes, it’s all worth it, and if you think it isn’t, just remember you’re going to age either way, if you’re lucky.

[Anonymous]

A lot of it is related to having kids, not just the pregnancy. And YES kids are worth it. If this is even a question, maybe don’t have kids, surrogate or not. No Botox or retinol during pregnancy and maybe breastfeeding can explain the wrinkles, but having the baby and being busy and sleep deprived doesn’t help. Same re hair, I think not all types of hair dye are safe in pregnancy, but it’s also not always as much of a priority to stay on top of your hair when you’re caring for a newborn.

[Anonymous]

Yep, I'm fat and my hair is a mess and I'm very happy I have a kid.

To be clear, yours is a valid worry, and one I had. I was skinny and fit when I got pregnant. I actually had a very healthy and active pregnancy, but postpartum and parenting during my prime career years did a number. A nice thing about being a little older now (40s) is it's easier to NGAF.

[Anonymous]

For me, there was no question. I always wanted kids and am happy to have them. I also got lucky and got two awesome kids.

But, seriously, if you are even asking this question, just don't have kids. Your priorities are screwed up. If you were asking about risks to your -health- and the changes that can happen with pregnancy to your health, that would be one thing. But your looks? Nope. Don't have kids. Just do what you do best and focus on yourself.

[Anonymous]

I lost the weight very quickly after each pregnancy. I have a few childless by choice friends and we are all 50 and I have, by far, aged the best out if the group.

[Anonymous]

The only thing I haven't gotten rid of is some stretch marks, but they're faint. DH sweetly tells me he can't see them, and I can't tell if he's lying or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of it is related to having kids, not just the pregnancy. And YES kids are worth it. If this is even a question, maybe don’t have kids, surrogate or not. No Botox or retinol during pregnancy and maybe breastfeeding can explain the wrinkles, but having the baby and being busy and sleep deprived doesn’t help. Same re hair, I think not all types of hair dye are safe in pregnancy, but it’s also not always as much of a priority to stay on top of your hair when you’re caring for a newborn.

I'm already sleep deprived and I don't even have kids! I don't feel I aged but I have certain traits that make me appear younger. It runs in the family. I also don't use botox and have no wrinkles. I did lose 35lbs though and I am thin and fit and an almost daily gym goer. I don't dye my hair either but I have seen pregnant women that look to be in their late 40's or 50's to me. I just wonder if it's rapid aging during pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, there was no question. I always wanted kids and am happy to have them. I also got lucky and got two awesome kids.

But, seriously, if you are even asking this question, just don't have kids. Your priorities are screwed up. If you were asking about risks to your -health- and the changes that can happen with pregnancy to your health, that would be one thing. But your looks? Nope. Don't have kids. Just do what you do best and focus on yourself.

This poster seems really harsh but I sort of agree with the sentiment. Having kids absolutely changes every aspect of your life and requires a serious for better or worse commitment...not being able to lose those 10 pounds after the baby is the most trivial of concerns involved in the whole thing and if that alone is enough to make you question it I would not recommend having kids. There are so many more ways they could "ruin your life" or body or whatever. And it is totally worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, there was no question. I always wanted kids and am happy to have them. I also got lucky and got two awesome kids.

But, seriously, if you are even asking this question, just don't have kids. Your priorities are screwed up. If you were asking about risks to your -health- and the changes that can happen with pregnancy to your health, that would be one thing. But your looks? Nope. Don't have kids. Just do what you do best and focus on yourself.

+1 all this other stuff feels so trivial in comparison.

The looks were going to fad eventually anyway...

[Anonymous]

Yes. Friends without kids also gained weight and have wrinkles.

[Anonymous]

LOL!! Great spot for the old patriarch dad-bro Ahole husbands to align with the DCUM majority.

Listen up, OP. The having of kids isn’t what ruins a woman’s body or sex appeal. Not even remotely.

An aggressive, enthusiastic, vocal lay, even with 10 kids and stretch marks from her boobs to her ankles, is a stratosphere beyond someone so boring and insecure that the physical appearance of their naked body is a consideration when it comes to having kids. Grow up a little bit. Women with kids and the big kid having boobs and other attributes that come with that are awesome, even from a pure scumbag sex perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wondering. Lot of women gain a lot of weight they can't lose after a baby. Some I see with gray or white hair immediately after or while pregnant. Melasma and new wrinkles. I'd like kids but wondering if the reason most celebrities use surrogates is because they don't want a baby to wreck their body. A lot of celebs over 30 are using surrogates.

Well, livelihood, self esteem and relationships of these celebrities depends on looking young and pretty. Its not like that for average educated, professional married women. They don't plan on starring in as many movies or marriages as JLo. They want to enjoy motherhood and raise their families with same old first husbands.

[Anonymous]

Most moms can literally give up their lives for their children, not just youth and looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, there was no question. I always wanted kids and am happy to have them. I also got lucky and got two awesome kids.

But, seriously, if you are even asking this question, just don't have kids. Your priorities are screwed up. If you were asking about risks to your -health- and the changes that can happen with pregnancy to your health, that would be one thing. But your looks? Nope. Don't have kids. Just do what you do best and focus on yourself.

Disagree, it's a fine question to ask. Your looks are part of who you are, and feeling upset about your changing body is a really common effect of pregnancy and parenting (also associated with PPD). And that's without the unrealistic pressure we put on women to "bounce back." We are allowed to care how we look.

Worrying about this does not make OP unfit to parent, it makes her honest with herself about whether she's ready to be a parent.