Was having kids worth the risk it took on your looks?

[Anonymous]

No impact on weight or looks for me. Sure first 6-12 mo postpartum takes time to loose last few pounds and there was some hormonal hair thinning. Now all back to normal. Key thing is to prioritize taking care of yourself. That requires a partner who can carry his weight on kid front so you can do things like go to the gym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, there was no question. I always wanted kids and am happy to have them. I also got lucky and got two awesome kids.

But, seriously, if you are even asking this question, just don't have kids. Your priorities are screwed up. If you were asking about risks to your -health- and the changes that can happen with pregnancy to your health, that would be one thing. But your looks? Nope. Don't have kids. Just do what you do best and focus on yourself.

Disagree, it's a fine question to ask. Your looks are part of who you are, and feeling upset about your changing body is a really common effect of pregnancy and parenting (also associated with PPD). And that's without the unrealistic pressure we put on women to "bounce back." We are allowed to care how we look.

Worrying about this does not make OP unfit to parent, it makes her honest with herself about whether she's ready to be a parent.

Can't possibly disagree more. If this is a big point of concern for OP, s/he is in no way ready to be a parent. S/he will not have total control over this outcome, or any other part of the outcome, for that matter. There are already too many selfish, immature people out there sucking at parenting. There is no shortage of children in the world. Anyone who isn't all-in on being a parent should just abstain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, there was no question. I always wanted kids and am happy to have them. I also got lucky and got two awesome kids.

But, seriously, if you are even asking this question, just don't have kids. Your priorities are screwed up. If you were asking about risks to your -health- and the changes that can happen with pregnancy to your health, that would be one thing. But your looks? Nope. Don't have kids. Just do what you do best and focus on yourself.

Disagree, it's a fine question to ask. Your looks are part of who you are, and feeling upset about your changing body is a really common effect of pregnancy and parenting (also associated with PPD). And that's without the unrealistic pressure we put on women to "bounce back." We are allowed to care how we look.

Worrying about this does not make OP unfit to parent, it makes her honest with herself about whether she's ready to be a parent.

Can't possibly disagree more. If this is a big point of concern for OP, s/he is in no way ready to be a parent. S/he will not have total control over this outcome, or any other part of the outcome, for that matter. There are already too many selfish, immature people out there sucking at parenting. There is no shortage of children in the world. Anyone who isn't all-in on being a parent should just abstain.

Dp. Yes starting with you. Someone who is so quick to judge a first time would be parent has no business judging other would be moms who haven't even started to parent. This sub is filled with women complaining about being frumpy and you definitely seem like you fit the mold. If you're not concerned about your looks why are you here?

[Anonymous]

Straight after there is definitely a hit on your looks

Now I’m 50, no difference at all. Some women have aged better than others - both with kids and without

[Anonymous]

Kids are absolutely worth it!

I will admit I care less about my appearance now. My priorities have shifted away from my looks, and that’s okay. In fact, I feel much happier and more fulfilled with kids.

[Anonymous]

Only OP can answer this question.

How much do you want kids or are you on the fence? If you are on the fence, stay there until you want to get off on one side or the other.

Yes, there are good outcomes after pregnancy with people bouncing right back, but there is a very real possibility that you will have changes to your body that are permanent. I have an umbilical hernia from my pregnancy that I will have to repair are some time. My core function is comprised at this time.

But your question it misses the mark. Caring for another human being will age you. You will worry about them. Ask some of the moms on the special needs forum if their looks have changed. Don't have kids until you can make peace with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Friends without kids also gained weight and have wrinkles.

This. I don’t have kids and my looks are going down hill anyway.

If your concern is impact on your body, I’d be more worried about incontinence and pelvic floor issues etc.

Looks are gonna go no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I was worried about this too bc I had a killer body and looks. Guess what? I looked sexy AF while pregnant (I’ve never been hit on more than while pregnant with my first at 40) and my body was better and sexier afterwards. I have not one stretch mark. Everything went back to place and I have a BMI of 18.5. My boobs are bigger than before. All the estrogen during pregnancy was great for my skin and I think prolonged its youthfulness and made it softer. Most people think I am ten years younger than I am. Motherhood is absolutely exhausting though, but a lot better if you can afford help early on.

What are looks for, anyway? They’re for attracting a mate so you can have children. The kids keep you young. And everyone ages anyway.

[Anonymous]

Omg yes, and I’ll say that having kids is a big decline in looks but so is about 45-50. I assume after that is way worse too.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like kids aren’t a good idea for you. There’s a lot more to it than weight and wrinkles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like kids aren’t a good idea for you. There’s a lot more to it than weight and wrinkles.

This, exactly.

[Anonymous]

You should not have kids.

[Anonymous]

I totally disagree with the PPs who say this makes you unfit to be a parent. It is normal and understandable to want to look good and to worry about uncontrollable impacts on your looks. I worried about this and it's one reason among many that I am done at one child. I came out completely unscathed by sheer luck, genetics, and because I gave birth on the young side. But I won't risk it again - even some of my fittest, thinnest friends have stretch marks and loose abs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only OP can answer this question.

How much do you want kids or are you on the fence? If you are on the fence, stay there until you want to get off on one side or the other.

Yes, there are good outcomes after pregnancy with people bouncing right back, but there is a very real possibility that you will have changes to your body that are permanent. I have an umbilical hernia from my pregnancy that I will have to repair are some time. My core function is comprised at this time.

But your question it misses the mark. Caring for another human being will age you. You will worry about them. Ask some of the moms on the special needs forum if their looks have changed. Don't have kids until you can make peace with this.

This. I have a child with special needs and it’s exhausting. You need to accept that you may not have the perfect kid and your life will completely upend itself. I’m looking at life time care and it’s scary AF. I’ve aged and every so often look in the mirror and think I look terrible, but I have bigger concerns than my face

[Anonymous]

It will very likely impact your looks negatively. If that even gives you pause, though, you probably shouldn't consider too much unless looks are exceedlingly important to you because it's the least of the impacts (positive or negative)