When did your body fall apart?

[Anonymous]

I am 49, and I do think from my own experience and friends experience that somewhere in the 45-47 range things just start changing:
Eyesight.
Can't work out as hard.
Fat distribution starts changing so even if you aren't gaining weight per se you look different. More cellulite.
Harder to lose weight.
Fine lines and wrinkles start to become noticeable.
More body aches.
Sleep isn't as good.
The list goes on and on!

[Anonymous]

I think the problem with this conversation is that everyone's baseline is different.

My parents are both obese and have been since they were in their early 40s, maybe even late 30s. They have tons of health problems as a result. There are a lot of reasons this happened and it's definitely not something they had total control over. But also, having watched it happen, I was pretty scared that was my future too. And that led me to do some things to try and prevent or mitigate it, and somewhat to my own surprise, I have. Nothing I've done is extreme. But unlike my parents, I have prioritized physical exercise, lowering stress, and mental health. And while my diet isn't some paragon of health, I don't eat fast food or the heavily processed foods they always have, and I don't drink soda. And unlike my dad, I don't drink much alcohol at all either.

The fact that I've put on a little bit of weight in middle age, am rounder and have to be a bit more careful with injury, have wrinkles and some sagging skin? I barely register it because I was genuinely expecting my body to "fall apart" in OP's parlance based on my parents. I think my current appearance would probably be unacceptable to some on this board because I look my age and am a bit heavier than I used to be an that might constitute falling apart to them. But I'm healthy, I exercise daily and feel good about it, and I eat plenty of vegetables and whole grains and lean proteins (plus some sweets and indulgences because you get one life, but mostly good quality things not junk food).

So I guess it depends if you think gaining 10 lbs in your 50s is a tragic mistake you must avoid at all costs. To me that's normal. I don't care about wearing a bikini or looking like a celebrity. But I'm not overweight and don't have any of the health issues associated with that, I am active and feel good. It's more than I expected and exactly what I hoped for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a question very specific to middle-aged (let’s say, 40 to 60) women who are significantly overweight but were thin and athletic in their 20s and 30s, and specifically women who are unhappy with this weight change.

How much weight have you gained from age 30? Was it mostly having kids, mostly menopause, both, or neither? Did you notice your body change all of a sudden, or was it a gradual weight creeping up and up? If you do wish you weighed less (and some people just accept it and that’s ok) what would you have done differently, lifestyle-wise, and at what age? What advice would you give to women under 35 who think “oh I would NEVER let my body get like THAT”?

"Gaining Weight" is not equal to "Body Falling Apart"

Yeah, agree that phrasing it that way is hyperbolic, but I think I get the point. It’s one thing to gain a couple of pounds here and there, and accept it, or not. The falling-apart thing, I often think it applies to people who used to be able to outrun the fork. For example, people who are hardcore athletes in their 20s and 30s and then obese by 50. This does happen. An injury, a child, and menopause and not significantly changing your eating habits.

To me "body falling apart" means you're suddenly getting injured often, your back hurts enough that it limits your activities, your balance is off, you have constant unexplainable aches and pains etc., NOT oh I've gained 15lbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a question very specific to middle-aged (let’s say, 40 to 60) women who are significantly overweight but were thin and athletic in their 20s and 30s, and specifically women who are unhappy with this weight change.

How much weight have you gained from age 30? Was it mostly having kids, mostly menopause, both, or neither? Did you notice your body change all of a sudden, or was it a gradual weight creeping up and up? If you do wish you weighed less (and some people just accept it and that’s ok) what would you have done differently, lifestyle-wise, and at what age? What advice would you give to women under 35 who think “oh I would NEVER let my body get like THAT”?

"Gaining Weight" is not equal to "Body Falling Apart"

Yeah, agree that phrasing it that way is hyperbolic, but I think I get the point. It’s one thing to gain a couple of pounds here and there, and accept it, or not. The falling-apart thing, I often think it applies to people who used to be able to outrun the fork. For example, people who are hardcore athletes in their 20s and 30s and then obese by 50. This does happen. An injury, a child, and menopause and not significantly changing your eating habits.

To me "body falling apart" means you're suddenly getting injured often, your back hurts enough that it limits your activities, your balance is off, you have constant unexplainable aches and pains etc., NOT oh I've gained 15lbs.

Well, yeah. Those things can happen as a result of gaining 50 lbs, not 15.

[Anonymous]

41. My health kind of fell apart.

It was a bunch of things at once:
-diagnosed with hypothyroidism, but first gained weight randomly that I exhausted myself trying to exercise off and lost a bunch of hair
-hypothyroidism triggered tendon issues which led to foot and then ankle problems
-injuries from childbirth that had never healed properly flared up and required repeated invasive treatments that had me laid up for weeks each time, and finally a very invasive surgery that took me out for a season

At the same time this all happened, my friends were divided equally into two camps: totally healthy and didn’t understand, or in different stages of breast cancer treatment. It was an insane few years. Plus Covid, which was sort of a minor background character compared to everything else.

I’m 45 now and look back on my 30s self that vowed to always stay on top of my health and see how naive that was. So much of our health is out of our control- the people who see others with health struggles as having let themselves go have never faced a cascade of even minor issues.

[Anonymous]

Weighed essentially the same (128 to 136 lbs with seasonal variations) in my 20s through 40s, including after losing the baby weight. I hit 51 and it all fell apart. Right in the thick of perimenopause and I have gained 15 pounds in the past year. It really sucks.

[Anonymous]

I’m 45 and gained about five pounds in a year. For someone consistently a small size 2-4, this isn’t a small amount for my body type and definitely a sign I need to make some mid life dietary and lifestyle changes.

[Anonymous]

I was naturally slender despite a tendency to emotional eating until my early 30s, when I finished my education and began my demanding career.

Over the decade of my 30s, chronic stress and very long hours sitting at a desk job coupled with sleep deprivation and poor eating habits (mostly eating takeaways a lot due to time constraints) landed me 30lbs overweight.

At age 40 I had one ovary and part of another removed because of growths which ended up benign. The surgery launched me into hard and sudden perimenopause which resulted in years of chronic insomnia and elevated cortisol, while my ever more stressful and demanding career piled on the stress. I developed neurological issues which stemmed from a chronic vitamin deficiency that took doctors more than half a decade to diagnose. During those years I became more and more inactive because the neurological issues resulted in multiple falls and fractures and I became reluctant to move my body. The vitamin deficiency and chronically elevated cortisol levels drove an insatiable appetite and I overate by thousands of calories daily. More weight piled on, until I was 150lbs over my ideal weight, the weight I had maintained from high school until my early 30s.

After getting on HRT and having my sleep restored, and being properly diagnosed and treated for the chronic vitamin deficiency, and being well rested enough to get my depression into remission, I have lost 30lbs and am steadily losing.

I’ve purged added sugars and UPFs from my diet and drilled down on feeding my body the super foods on a daily basis. I allow for the occasional treat day, but in general I am eating healthier than I ever have in my life - I have embraced home cooking and learned to make a repertoire of recipes that are phytonutrient packed but also delicious.

I had to ditch the toxically stressful career when my health fell apart, and I am now laser focused on stress management as I build my next career at 52. I have increased my activity levels a ton and in the process learned firsthand that the best treatment for the aches and pains of an aging body is regular movement.

I am on track to reach my goal weight in another 18 months, which isn’t too bad considering it took a couple of decades to pile on the weight. My body won’t ever be the same shape and weight distribution that it was 20 years ago, but I am confident I will feel good about how I look and how my body moves going into my elder years.

This has been the hardest work I’ve ever done in my entire life, because most of it is grappling with demons between my ears which contributed to my lack of self care my entire life.

[Anonymous]

I am 50 and I probably weigh the same as I did at 29 (pregnant at 30-31). I still work out and play sports regularly. I keep up with women that are much younger than me. I look athletic with muscle tone. I eat healthy but I do drink wine. I know that is a no no on DCUM.

I am post-menopause. FYI

[Anonymous]

I was 44 and, honestly, can almost pinpoint to the day. Crazy stuff!! However, after a few years of feeling sorry for myself, I changed the way I ate and made sure to move everyday. I know everyone is different, but if people would just stop eating the processed foods, that would pay dividends for most I believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a question very specific to middle-aged (let’s say, 40 to 60) women who are significantly overweight but were thin and athletic in their 20s and 30s, and specifically women who are unhappy with this weight change.

How much weight have you gained from age 30? Was it mostly having kids, mostly menopause, both, or neither? Did you notice your body change all of a sudden, or was it a gradual weight creeping up and up? If you do wish you weighed less (and some people just accept it and that’s ok) what would you have done differently, lifestyle-wise, and at what age? What advice would you give to women under 35 who think “oh I would NEVER let my body get like THAT”?

"Gaining Weight" is not equal to "Body Falling Apart"

Yeah, agree that phrasing it that way is hyperbolic, but I think I get the point. It’s one thing to gain a couple of pounds here and there, and accept it, or not. The falling-apart thing, I often think it applies to people who used to be able to outrun the fork. For example, people who are hardcore athletes in their 20s and 30s and then obese by 50. This does happen. An injury, a child, and menopause and not significantly changing your eating habits.

To me "body falling apart" means you're suddenly getting injured often, your back hurts enough that it limits your activities, your balance is off, you have constant unexplainable aches and pains etc., NOT oh I've gained 15lbs.

This, especially if the weight gain is just "I went through menopause and got thicker around the middle." That's different than gaining weight because of a chronic injury that keeps you from being active, because in the latter case, that can very easily snowball. I saw this with my mom. Chronic back problems that led to her being very sedentary, which led to gaining weight, which made her back problems worse, which made her even more sedentary.

One of the very best things you can learn in life is to fine a way to get moving again, safely, after an injury or when dealing with chronic pain. After watching this happen with my mom, it made me very proactive when I started having back and alignment issues in my early 40s. I got a PT and an ortho ASAP, I went to all my PT appointments and followed my orthos advice to take up some low impact exercise and be consistent about it. And it worked. When I experience back or hip pain now, my reaction is to do some of my PT exercises, take the anti-inflammatory my ortho prescribed, and then go to a barre or yoga class and take a walk. Not to pound a bunch of aspirin and then lie in bed all day, which is how my mom used to approach it.

Move it or lose it.

[Anonymous]

45. Started peri prob around 42 ish looking back. Just went on HRT. I do IF and weight training. Terrible about counting calories but I feel like IF helped me figure out when I’m hungry Vs not. I’ve actually lost like 8 lbs this year without trying which concerned me but not my doctors. I’m at a healthy weight. 5’1”
And 110lbs. Now…my knees crack more often, I have a pouch, and leak when I jumping jacks so yeah :-0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m premature in saying this as I’m “only” 40, but so far it hasn’t been an issue and I cannot fathom it will ever be. I’ve managed to have three kids with normal weight gains and able to lose it without drastic measures within a year of each baby.

I work out regularly, but more importantly, I weigh myself regularly. At least a couple times per week. Weight cannot creep on if you don’t let it. 5-10 lbs can be easily gained in you live on athleisure and don’t weigh yourself ever. Then another 10 if you don’t make changes and so on. But if you are happy with your weight and monitor it, you can adjust what you eat and your exercise as the needs of your body change with age. While a few pounds may be acceptable to gain with age, there is no reason anyone has to become overweight or obese as they age if they actively take steps to maintain a heathy weight

So I used to say exactly all of this when I was 40. ALL OF IT. Couldn't understand how anyone could ever let themselves gain weight like that, always thin, easily lost all weight after my pregnancies within a matter of just weeks, could literally eat whatever I wanted, etc, etc.

I'm now 46, and I am shocked at how much this has changed for me in just the past year or so as I enter the perimenopausal stage of life. The body changes in this stage of life are very real. For the record, I'm very athletic and have been all through adulthood: competitive runner, workout 5-6 days a week, very toned. And I'm still very much in shape. However, my metabolism is nothing like what it was; it has completely tanked. In my 20s I used to eat an entire pound of pasta for dinner most nights, no joke. No way would that fly now. Just over the past year or so, I gain weight way way more easily, and it's much MUCH harder to lose, even just a few pounds. My weight management strategies of years past just don't work anymore. I read some interview recently that Heidi Klum only eats like 800 calories a day to stay thin at her age. Just a few years ago I would have thought this was nuts, but now that I'm "here", I completely believe it.

I still wear the same size, and I'm still the same healthy weight I've had all through adulthood. However, it is MUCH MUCH MUCH harder to keep it that way. I'm definitely eating crow from the way I viewed this earlier in life, even just a few years ago. More power to you and your 40 year old self, PP, but it's not nearly as easy as you think it is now.

+1. Come back and talk to us in your 50s.

I even had my last baby at 40, lost all of that weight and was doing great. I'd see those post-menopausal women who had mid-section weight and thought that'll never happen to me! Ha. Hit menopause at 51 and boy did not only did my weight climb, but the distribution of it. I went from slightly pear shaped, to more pear *and* apple shaped, despite eating the same and exercising the same.

[Anonymous]

I'm 53, no weight gain since pregnancy weight. Like a 40-year old poster noted, just keep an eye on it.

I eat what I want, but I've noticed since getting older I just eat less. I might have a 5 guys burger and fries for lunch, but that would be all I eat for the day. Not for a punishment, but because I wouldn't be hungry until the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m premature in saying this as I’m “only” 40, but so far it hasn’t been an issue and I cannot fathom it will ever be. I’ve managed to have three kids with normal weight gains and able to lose it without drastic measures within a year of each baby.

I work out regularly, but more importantly, I weigh myself regularly. At least a couple times per week. Weight cannot creep on if you don’t let it. 5-10 lbs can be easily gained in you live on athleisure and don’t weigh yourself ever. Then another 10 if you don’t make changes and so on. But if you are happy with your weight and monitor it, you can adjust what you eat and your exercise as the needs of your body change with age. While a few pounds may be acceptable to gain with age, there is no reason anyone has to become overweight or obese as they age if they actively take steps to maintain a heathy weight

LOL. Send us a postcard when you hit your mid-forties.

My mother is in 70s and never became overweight with age, neither did my grandmother in her 90s. They did have to be more vigilant about what they are and cut portions down by a lot. So I pretty sure it is safe to say I’ll be the same. Not everyone becomes a blob with age

Same with my MIL, but she has a full-on eating disorder and is trying very hard to pass it to her granddaughters.