When did your body fall apart?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 47 and this has suddenly hit me over the past year. I went on an SSRI because of some life circumstances and was pretty sure the weight gain was that but now I’m wondering if it’s just the age. I’m up 10 lbs over the past year on a small frame.

Same! I started lexapro right before covid at 46 or 47, blamed my quick weight gain 10lbs in 6 months and I’m only 5’1 on lexapro but it could have been my age too. And am now 50, can’t get the weight off.

[Anonymous]

I’m 43 and have always been at the top of healthy weight range - weighed a little less at 38 than 17. I’m now up about 10lbs from that weight and scared that I haven’t even hit the real hormonal changes yet.

For me, I think job stress + teenage boys (and their food) in the house have contributed most to a 10lb gain in the last 18 months. I used to be able to eat what my family ate, make sure I was exercising, drink beers with DH, etc and stay reasonably in shape pretty easily but I’m realizing I need to start being much more intentional about it or it’s going to be a slow slide downhill.

I’ve seen the same in some of my friends, including ones who used to be tiny and now are super strict with diet and exercise but still gaining weight (and have been told by drs after lots of testing that it’s natural not medical)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m premature in saying this as I’m “only” 40, but so far it hasn’t been an issue and I cannot fathom it will ever be. I’ve managed to have three kids with normal weight gains and able to lose it without drastic measures within a year of each baby.

I work out regularly, but more importantly, I weigh myself regularly. At least a couple times per week. Weight cannot creep on if you don’t let it. 5-10 lbs can be easily gained in you live on athleisure and don’t weigh yourself ever. Then another 10 if you don’t make changes and so on. But if you are happy with your weight and monitor it, you can adjust what you eat and your exercise as the needs of your body change with age. While a few pounds may be acceptable to gain with age, there is no reason anyone has to become overweight or obese as they age if they actively take steps to maintain a heathy weight

LOL. Send us a postcard when you hit your mid-forties.

My mother is in 70s and never became overweight with age, neither did my grandmother in her 90s. They did have to be more vigilant about what they are and cut portions down by a lot. So I pretty sure it is safe to say I’ll be the same. Not everyone becomes a blob with age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m premature in saying this as I’m “only” 40, but so far it hasn’t been an issue and I cannot fathom it will ever be. I’ve managed to have three kids with normal weight gains and able to lose it without drastic measures within a year of each baby.

I work out regularly, but more importantly, I weigh myself regularly. At least a couple times per week. Weight cannot creep on if you don’t let it. 5-10 lbs can be easily gained in you live on athleisure and don’t weigh yourself ever. Then another 10 if you don’t make changes and so on. But if you are happy with your weight and monitor it, you can adjust what you eat and your exercise as the needs of your body change with age. While a few pounds may be acceptable to gain with age, there is no reason anyone has to become overweight or obese as they age if they actively take steps to maintain a heathy weight

LOL. Send us a postcard when you hit your mid-forties.

My mother is in 70s and never became overweight with age, neither did my grandmother in her 90s. They did have to be more vigilant about what they are and cut portions down by a lot. So I pretty sure it is safe to say I’ll be the same. Not everyone becomes a blob with age

Sounds like a lovely family <3

[Anonymous]

In my 20s and 30s I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain any weight. I also loved carbs. Didn't have children until my early 40s and still managed to lose all the baby weight within a short period of time. So at age 45 I was thinking, this is not at all the doom and gloom I was led to believe.

Then bam, 45 hit and all of a sudden, I started to have joint pains, thinning hair, and weight gains. Now I have to drastically cut back on my carb consumption and up my exercise.

[Anonymous]

pp here, meant to type Then bam, 46 hit and all of a sudden...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m premature in saying this as I’m “only” 40, but so far it hasn’t been an issue and I cannot fathom it will ever be. I’ve managed to have three kids with normal weight gains and able to lose it without drastic measures within a year of each baby.

I work out regularly, but more importantly, I weigh myself regularly. At least a couple times per week. Weight cannot creep on if you don’t let it. 5-10 lbs can be easily gained in you live on athleisure and don’t weigh yourself ever. Then another 10 if you don’t make changes and so on. But if you are happy with your weight and monitor it, you can adjust what you eat and your exercise as the needs of your body change with age. While a few pounds may be acceptable to gain with age, there is no reason anyone has to become overweight or obese as they age if they actively take steps to maintain a heathy weight

LOL. Send us a postcard when you hit your mid-forties.

My mother is in 70s and never became overweight with age, neither did my grandmother in her 90s. They did have to be more vigilant about what they are and cut portions down by a lot. So I pretty sure it is safe to say I’ll be the same. Not everyone becomes a blob with age

Not sure if it's the same PP posting all of these "it's so easy, what's the matter with you all" comments, and whether you genuinely think this couldn't happen to you or whether you're just trolling everyone here.

Regardless, I'm the 9/10 13:56 poster. I wear a size 2-4 and have my entire adult life. My BMI is 20. I'm not a large person. I say this only because I think you are missing the point that everyone is trying to communicate. No one is saying that it's time to just let yourself go once perimenopause kicks in. What everyone IS trying to say is that many of us felt the same as you (maybe were even this smug about it!) and were completely caught off guard when they realized that they weren't immune to age-related body changes despite many many years of regular exercise, healthy/careful eating, and what felt like good genetics. I don't think you can safely assume at all that because your mother and grandmother stayed thin, that you will too, even if you "cut down portions by a lot" which several PPs have literally said they have done to no avail. You can view everyone's experience as a cautionary tale for what may lie ahead of you, or you can carry on with what seems to be your assumption that everyone missed their opportunity act on a small weight gain until it ballooned out of control and that their weight gain represents a personal failing rather than naturally-occurring age-related changes.

The point I made about Heidi Klum in my earlier post was to point out what seriously extreme measures she needs to take at her age to stay thin. While I am certainly not looking to become a "blob" as I age, spending decades of future life adhering to an extreme diet like this doesn't sound appealing at all. That doesn't mean that I am looking to let myself go as I age. It does mean though that humility and grace about aging bodies is necessary. I freely confess that I didn't have it earlier, and I'm realizing it now because I'm living it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m premature in saying this as I’m “only” 40, but so far it hasn’t been an issue and I cannot fathom it will ever be. I’ve managed to have three kids with normal weight gains and able to lose it without drastic measures within a year of each baby.

I work out regularly, but more importantly, I weigh myself regularly. At least a couple times per week. Weight cannot creep on if you don’t let it. 5-10 lbs can be easily gained in you live on athleisure and don’t weigh yourself ever. Then another 10 if you don’t make changes and so on. But if you are happy with your weight and monitor it, you can adjust what you eat and your exercise as the needs of your body change with age. While a few pounds may be acceptable to gain with age, there is no reason anyone has to become overweight or obese as they age if they actively take steps to maintain a heathy weight

LOL. Send us a postcard when you hit your mid-forties.

My mother is in 70s and never became overweight with age, neither did my grandmother in her 90s. They did have to be more vigilant about what they are and cut portions down by a lot. So I pretty sure it is safe to say I’ll be the same. Not everyone becomes a blob with age

Not sure if it's the same PP posting all of these "it's so easy, what's the matter with you all" comments, and whether you genuinely think this couldn't happen to you or whether you're just trolling everyone here.

Regardless, I'm the 9/10 13:56 poster. I wear a size 2-4 and have my entire adult life. My BMI is 20. I'm not a large person. I say this only because I think you are missing the point that everyone is trying to communicate. No one is saying that it's time to just let yourself go once perimenopause kicks in. What everyone IS trying to say is that many of us felt the same as you (maybe were even this smug about it!) and were completely caught off guard when they realized that they weren't immune to age-related body changes despite many many years of regular exercise, healthy/careful eating, and what felt like good genetics. I don't think you can safely assume at all that because your mother and grandmother stayed thin, that you will too, even if you "cut down portions by a lot" which several PPs have literally said they have done to no avail. You can view everyone's experience as a cautionary tale for what may lie ahead of you, or you can carry on with what seems to be your assumption that everyone missed their opportunity act on a small weight gain until it ballooned out of control and that their weight gain represents a personal failing rather than naturally-occurring age-related changes.

The point I made about Heidi Klum in my earlier post was to point out what seriously extreme measures she needs to take at her age to stay thin. While I am certainly not looking to become a "blob" as I age, spending decades of future life adhering to an extreme diet like this doesn't sound appealing at all. That doesn't mean that I am looking to let myself go as I age. It does mean though that humility and grace about aging bodies is necessary. I freely confess that I didn't have it earlier, and I'm realizing it now because I'm living it.

OP specifically asked about women that became “significantly overweight” with age. I would argue that a few pounds with age is normal, but becoming significantly overweight is not normal and yes can be avoided

[Anonymous]

Could it be possible that the weight gain is hormone-driven and temporary? My mother was very thin until 55, then gained some weight that really bothered her and was impossible to lose because she already ate healthy and exercised. The in her late 50’s she suddenly became thin again, now she is 69 and still thin. No major changes in lifestyle. I am 42 and already up 4 pounds with no major changes in lifestyle… though it sucks, I am hoping it is going to be temporary!

[Anonymous]

Pp *she was thin until 45, not 55

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m premature in saying this as I’m “only” 40, but so far it hasn’t been an issue and I cannot fathom it will ever be. I’ve managed to have three kids with normal weight gains and able to lose it without drastic measures within a year of each baby.

I work out regularly, but more importantly, I weigh myself regularly. At least a couple times per week. Weight cannot creep on if you don’t let it. 5-10 lbs can be easily gained in you live on athleisure and don’t weigh yourself ever. Then another 10 if you don’t make changes and so on. But if you are happy with your weight and monitor it, you can adjust what you eat and your exercise as the needs of your body change with age. While a few pounds may be acceptable to gain with age, there is no reason anyone has to become overweight or obese as they age if they actively take steps to maintain a heathy weight

So I used to say exactly all of this when I was 40. ALL OF IT. Couldn't understand how anyone could ever let themselves gain weight like that, always thin, easily lost all weight after my pregnancies within a matter of just weeks, could literally eat whatever I wanted, etc, etc.

I'm now 46, and I am shocked at how much this has changed for me in just the past year or so as I enter the perimenopausal stage of life. The body changes in this stage of life are very real. For the record, I'm very athletic and have been all through adulthood: competitive runner, workout 5-6 days a week, very toned. And I'm still very much in shape. However, my metabolism is nothing like what it was; it has completely tanked. In my 20s I used to eat an entire pound of pasta for dinner most nights, no joke. No way would that fly now. Just over the past year or so, I gain weight way way more easily, and it's much MUCH harder to lose, even just a few pounds. My weight management strategies of years past just don't work anymore. I read some interview recently that Heidi Klum only eats like 800 calories a day to stay thin at her age. Just a few years ago I would have thought this was nuts, but now that I'm "here", I completely believe it.

I still wear the same size, and I'm still the same healthy weight I've had all through adulthood. However, it is MUCH MUCH MUCH harder to keep it that way. I'm definitely eating crow from the way I viewed this earlier in life, even just a few years ago. More power to you and your 40 year old self, PP, but it's not nearly as easy as you think it is now.

100 percent agree. I was 15 lbs lighter at 40 not watching what I ate and working out infrequently with 3 kids. Now at 45 the kids are older and I work out 7+ hours a week, eat zero processed food, limit carbs, extremely healthy, no sugar, one glass of wine a week, count calories and the fifteen lbs are impossible to lose.

Why didn’t you do that when you were up 5 lbs instead of 15?

This right here is, I believe, the difference between those who gain 15-20+ lbs and those who don't gain beyond 5-10: the ones who feel uncomfortable with 5 do something about it asap. The people who don't notice 10, 15, 25, etc or who rationalize (too busy, too stressed, I want to enjoy life, etc) get to the point where it's beyond tweaking. I have maintained my weight into my 50's and, even though I'm definitely softer, I am trim.

DP - except that what many of us are saying is that the things that worked to lose that five pounds now don't work, so the measures have to be extreme. Many people find extreme measures unsustainable.

There's also the very real experience that people (including a PP in this thread) have during midlife, which is that big life stressors are more common than when we're younger, and those can throw us for a loop. Parents die, siblings may die, divorce is more common, etc. - expecting people to attend to five extra pounds during those kinds of stressors is utterly unreasonable, bordering on cruel. Just because YOU flip out over a five pound weight gain doesn't make that flipping out healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m premature in saying this as I’m “only” 40, but so far it hasn’t been an issue and I cannot fathom it will ever be. I’ve managed to have three kids with normal weight gains and able to lose it without drastic measures within a year of each baby.

I work out regularly, but more importantly, I weigh myself regularly. At least a couple times per week. Weight cannot creep on if you don’t let it. 5-10 lbs can be easily gained in you live on athleisure and don’t weigh yourself ever. Then another 10 if you don’t make changes and so on. But if you are happy with your weight and monitor it, you can adjust what you eat and your exercise as the needs of your body change with age. While a few pounds may be acceptable to gain with age, there is no reason anyone has to become overweight or obese as they age if they actively take steps to maintain a heathy weight

LOL. Send us a postcard when you hit your mid-forties.

My mother is in 70s and never became overweight with age, neither did my grandmother in her 90s. They did have to be more vigilant about what they are and cut portions down by a lot. So I pretty sure it is safe to say I’ll be the same. Not everyone becomes a blob with age

Not sure if it's the same PP posting all of these "it's so easy, what's the matter with you all" comments, and whether you genuinely think this couldn't happen to you or whether you're just trolling everyone here.

Regardless, I'm the 9/10 13:56 poster. I wear a size 2-4 and have my entire adult life. My BMI is 20. I'm not a large person. I say this only because I think you are missing the point that everyone is trying to communicate. No one is saying that it's time to just let yourself go once perimenopause kicks in. What everyone IS trying to say is that many of us felt the same as you (maybe were even this smug about it!) and were completely caught off guard when they realized that they weren't immune to age-related body changes despite many many years of regular exercise, healthy/careful eating, and what felt like good genetics. I don't think you can safely assume at all that because your mother and grandmother stayed thin, that you will too, even if you "cut down portions by a lot" which several PPs have literally said they have done to no avail. You can view everyone's experience as a cautionary tale for what may lie ahead of you, or you can carry on with what seems to be your assumption that everyone missed their opportunity act on a small weight gain until it ballooned out of control and that their weight gain represents a personal failing rather than naturally-occurring age-related changes.

The point I made about Heidi Klum in my earlier post was to point out what seriously extreme measures she needs to take at her age to stay thin. While I am certainly not looking to become a "blob" as I age, spending decades of future life adhering to an extreme diet like this doesn't sound appealing at all. That doesn't mean that I am looking to let myself go as I age. It does mean though that humility and grace about aging bodies is necessary. I freely confess that I didn't have it earlier, and I'm realizing it now because I'm living it.

OP specifically asked about women that became “significantly overweight” with age. I would argue that a few pounds with age is normal, but becoming significantly overweight is not normal and yes can be avoided

I think everyone's personal definition of "significantly overweight" differs. For some in this thread, 5 pounds seems to be excessive and "significant" while others seem to have a higher threshold. Perhaps OP can clarify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a question very specific to middle-aged (let’s say, 40 to 60) women who are significantly overweight but were thin and athletic in their 20s and 30s, and specifically women who are unhappy with this weight change.

How much weight have you gained from age 30? Was it mostly having kids, mostly menopause, both, or neither? Did you notice your body change all of a sudden, or was it a gradual weight creeping up and up? If you do wish you weighed less (and some people just accept it and that’s ok) what would you have done differently, lifestyle-wise, and at what age? What advice would you give to women under 35 who think “oh I would NEVER let my body get like THAT”?

"Gaining Weight" is not equal to "Body Falling Apart"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m premature in saying this as I’m “only” 40, but so far it hasn’t been an issue and I cannot fathom it will ever be. I’ve managed to have three kids with normal weight gains and able to lose it without drastic measures within a year of each baby.

I work out regularly, but more importantly, I weigh myself regularly. At least a couple times per week. Weight cannot creep on if you don’t let it. 5-10 lbs can be easily gained in you live on athleisure and don’t weigh yourself ever. Then another 10 if you don’t make changes and so on. But if you are happy with your weight and monitor it, you can adjust what you eat and your exercise as the needs of your body change with age. While a few pounds may be acceptable to gain with age, there is no reason anyone has to become overweight or obese as they age if they actively take steps to maintain a heathy weight

LOL. Send us a postcard when you hit your mid-forties.

My mother is in 70s and never became overweight with age, neither did my grandmother in her 90s. They did have to be more vigilant about what they are and cut portions down by a lot. So I pretty sure it is safe to say I’ll be the same. Not everyone becomes a blob with age

How's their bone density?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a question very specific to middle-aged (let’s say, 40 to 60) women who are significantly overweight but were thin and athletic in their 20s and 30s, and specifically women who are unhappy with this weight change.

How much weight have you gained from age 30? Was it mostly having kids, mostly menopause, both, or neither? Did you notice your body change all of a sudden, or was it a gradual weight creeping up and up? If you do wish you weighed less (and some people just accept it and that’s ok) what would you have done differently, lifestyle-wise, and at what age? What advice would you give to women under 35 who think “oh I would NEVER let my body get like THAT”?

"Gaining Weight" is not equal to "Body Falling Apart"

Yeah, agree that phrasing it that way is hyperbolic, but I think I get the point. It’s one thing to gain a couple of pounds here and there, and accept it, or not. The falling-apart thing, I often think it applies to people who used to be able to outrun the fork. For example, people who are hardcore athletes in their 20s and 30s and then obese by 50. This does happen. An injury, a child, and menopause and not significantly changing your eating habits.