When did your body fall apart?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be curious to hear what some of the men have to say about this question. My sense is that most of the responses thus far have been from women though I could be wrong.

Eh, I think my DH, who is mid-40s would actually tell you much of the same things that the women in this thread are saying -- with age, it gets harder to keep weight off even doing the same stuff you were doing before, and weight is the primary source of concern for him about his body and health. I mean, as a man he was never trying to be a women's size 0, so it's a different baseline, but he's absolutely started noticing that his gut is getting bigger despite no change to diet or exercise (and he exercises regularly and has a not-terrible, though also not great, diet).

And I think the experience for him is pretty similar to a lot of women, too. It's not like suddenly he gained 30 lbs. It's more like he started noticing that his pants felt a tiny bit tighter than they used to, and he started considering sizing up, despite having worn the same size pants for almost 20 years. He also notices shifts in his face. I think if his hairline starts shifting he is going to be really upset.

Aging is hard on everyone. Men don't get an out on that. I think men aren't punished as much socially or professionally for looking older, and that's the main difference. But from an existential perspective, men's bodies also change as they age and they don't love that process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be curious to hear what some of the men have to say about this question. My sense is that most of the responses thus far have been from women though I could be wrong.

Eh, I think my DH, who is mid-40s would actually tell you much of the same things that the women in this thread are saying -- with age, it gets harder to keep weight off even doing the same stuff you were doing before, and weight is the primary source of concern for him about his body and health. I mean, as a man he was never trying to be a women's size 0, so it's a different baseline, but he's absolutely started noticing that his gut is getting bigger despite no change to diet or exercise (and he exercises regularly and has a not-terrible, though also not great, diet).

And I think the experience for him is pretty similar to a lot of women, too. It's not like suddenly he gained 30 lbs. It's more like he started noticing that his pants felt a tiny bit tighter than they used to, and he started considering sizing up, despite having worn the same size pants for almost 20 years. He also notices shifts in his face. I think if his hairline starts shifting he is going to be really upset.

Aging is hard on everyone. Men don't get an out on that. I think men aren't punished as much socially or professionally for looking older, and that's the main difference. But from an existential perspective, men's bodies also change as they age and they don't love that process.

Agree, and men have few options to counter... For women, make up goes a long way, a good hair coloring and cut helps a lot. Also, women are better at picking out flattering clothes.

[Anonymous]

I'm 52, gained 15-20 pounds from roughly 45-50 (eating same as usual, exercising same as usual, dealing with high stressors and death in family). Over 2 years I slowly managed to lose 20 pounds by totally changing my diet and cutting waaaaay back on all the enjoyables: carbs, sweets, alcohol, fats, etc. And I'm still much softer, even if I fit into my old clothes. Now must stick to strict lean protein/veggies diet to keep that weight off. It's hard, and it's like a switch turned on mid-forties (perimenopause). Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Funny how everyone is talking about weight. There are so many more issue related to aging than just weight. You can be overweight and young. I’m older and while weight is not an issue at all - I have eyesight issues, Achey bones and joints , thinning hair, wrinkles. Etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny how everyone is talking about weight. There are so many more issue related to aging than just weight. You can be overweight and young. I’m older and while weight is not an issue at all - I have eyesight issues, Achey bones and joints , thinning hair, wrinkles. Etc.

The original post equated vanity and weight to falling apart. Then we got a bunch of posts about that.

Falling apart means what you are referring to. Things that actively limit quality of life and the ability to move. Not an extra 10 pounds that makes one look different than when they were 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be curious to hear what some of the men have to say about this question. My sense is that most of the responses thus far have been from women though I could be wrong.

Eh, I think my DH, who is mid-40s would actually tell you much of the same things that the women in this thread are saying -- with age, it gets harder to keep weight off even doing the same stuff you were doing before, and weight is the primary source of concern for him about his body and health. I mean, as a man he was never trying to be a women's size 0, so it's a different baseline, but he's absolutely started noticing that his gut is getting bigger despite no change to diet or exercise (and he exercises regularly and has a not-terrible, though also not great, diet).

And I think the experience for him is pretty similar to a lot of women, too. It's not like suddenly he gained 30 lbs. It's more like he started noticing that his pants felt a tiny bit tighter than they used to, and he started considering sizing up, despite having worn the same size pants for almost 20 years. He also notices shifts in his face. I think if his hairline starts shifting he is going to be really upset.

Aging is hard on everyone. Men don't get an out on that. I think men aren't punished as much socially or professionally for looking older, and that's the main difference. But from an existential perspective, men's bodies also change as they age and they don't love that process.

Agree, and men have few options to counter... For women, make up goes a long way, a good hair coloring and cut helps a lot. Also, women are better at picking out flattering clothes.

As a man, I disagree. The options to counter the effect of aging on a man are simple and effective. Exercise and keep the weight off. The same face and eye creams that work on women also work on men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny how everyone is talking about weight. There are so many more issue related to aging than just weight. You can be overweight and young. I’m older and while weight is not an issue at all - I have eyesight issues, Achey bones and joints , thinning hair, wrinkles. Etc.

Weight gain reflects decline in metabolic health and many other health issues that you might consider "body falling apart" are downstream from that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be curious to hear what some of the men have to say about this question. My sense is that most of the responses thus far have been from women though I could be wrong.

Eh, I think my DH, who is mid-40s would actually tell you much of the same things that the women in this thread are saying -- with age, it gets harder to keep weight off even doing the same stuff you were doing before, and weight is the primary source of concern for him about his body and health. I mean, as a man he was never trying to be a women's size 0, so it's a different baseline, but he's absolutely started noticing that his gut is getting bigger despite no change to diet or exercise (and he exercises regularly and has a not-terrible, though also not great, diet).

And I think the experience for him is pretty similar to a lot of women, too. It's not like suddenly he gained 30 lbs. It's more like he started noticing that his pants felt a tiny bit tighter than they used to, and he started considering sizing up, despite having worn the same size pants for almost 20 years. He also notices shifts in his face. I think if his hairline starts shifting he is going to be really upset.

Aging is hard on everyone. Men don't get an out on that. I think men aren't punished as much socially or professionally for looking older, and that's the main difference. But from an existential perspective, men's bodies also change as they age and they don't love that process.

Agree, and men have few options to counter... For women, make up goes a long way, a good hair coloring and cut helps a lot. Also, women are better at picking out flattering clothes.

As a man, I disagree. The options to counter the effect of aging on a man are simple and effective. Exercise and keep the weight off. The same face and eye creams that work on women also work on men.

Also middle aged man. Significantly easier for men to avoid weight gain with edge, assuming no other non lifestyle related problems. Many just don’t want to do the work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m premature in saying this as I’m “only” 40, but so far it hasn’t been an issue and I cannot fathom it will ever be. I’ve managed to have three kids with normal weight gains and able to lose it without drastic measures within a year of each baby.

I work out regularly, but more importantly, I weigh myself regularly. At least a couple times per week. Weight cannot creep on if you don’t let it. 5-10 lbs can be easily gained in you live on athleisure and don’t weigh yourself ever. Then another 10 if you don’t make changes and so on. But if you are happy with your weight and monitor it, you can adjust what you eat and your exercise as the needs of your body change with age. While a few pounds may be acceptable to gain with age, there is no reason anyone has to become overweight or obese as they age if they actively take steps to maintain a heathy weight

LOL. Send us a postcard when you hit your mid-forties.

My mother is in 70s and never became overweight with age, neither did my grandmother in her 90s. They did have to be more vigilant about what they are and cut portions down by a lot. So I pretty sure it is safe to say I’ll be the same. Not everyone becomes a blob with age

True. And not everyone is a kind, empathetic person, as you have demonstrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be curious to hear what some of the men have to say about this question. My sense is that most of the responses thus far have been from women though I could be wrong.

59M and I haven't fallen apart yet. I might be something of an exception. I rarely see guys my age in the gym, and a great many guys who are 10 or 20 years younger than me are fat and out of shape.

If you want to try and quantify your biological age, you can plug in some results from the blood tests you usually get at your annual physical into a spreadsheet here. It told me my "phenotypic age" is 48.

https://michaellustgarten.com/2019/09/09/quantifying-biological-age/

So I’m 62 and the spreadsheet told me my bio age is 58. I’m 50 pounds overweight, but super active, burning 3,500 calories a day by carrying that extra weight all over the hills where I live. So you can be fat and look out of shape but actually be almost 10% “younger” than your calendar age. I suspect a lot of overweight people are similar.

[Anonymous]

IVe always been heavier than most but size 8. I gained 30 pounds with sudden onset menopause during Covid shutdown at 46. It sucks but I still workout and move regularly. Every minute of every day is weight bearing for me. Interrupted sleep is the worst. I can see it in my face but days I get more sleep I look younger. My face is changing though and that bugs me.

I do have a young child though and people still ask when I’m going to give him a sibling. I just smile and think you all have no idea what is coming…