Returns gifts when relationship ends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pulled strings to get his daughter into school, show up for everything, every airport pickup, errand everything! for 10 years and I can’t consider an real relationship/marriage. The names I was called for suggesting it. So angry. And hurt.

You are all right. I will just ghost.

You said in your original post, “No discovery by spouses”, which would indicate that you’re married. You should have considered the real relationship/marriage you were already in. Even if that was a typo, you knew he was married. If you expected a real relationship/marriage to be valued, you should never have started the affair. Moreover, you saw that he placed no value on the real relationship/marriage he already had, because he was cheating with you. If he considered his marriage meaningless, why would you want the same relationship?

You were both selfish and showed that you placed no values on the relationships you had with people who loved and trusted you and whom you had voluntarily committed to. Why would either of you expect the other to treat you better without that commitment?

You seem to have very little regard for the marriage you do have. I suggest you focus on it. Either commit to it and stop having affairs, or put an end to it so you can go find a real relationship/marriage and let your husband do the same.

I feel awful for her husband. I wish someone would tell him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long term affair recently ended. No discovery by spouses. I want to leave all the gifts ever given to me on the APs doorstep, ring the doorbell and leave.

Yea or Nay?

No

[Anonymous]

OP, I doubt you're gonna listen to all the good advice people are giving you.

Consider yourself lucky not to have gotten caught. I do wonder where you kept all the gifts, especially the paintings, so that your DH didn't catch on?

Take everything and donate it. Or throw it away. Block him on your emails, your cell, and everywhere else. If he tries to contact you, ignore. Don't ever let him back in your life.

You have now learned the hard truth: As the "Other Woman," you ended up hurting yourself. I know someone like you, who is never satisfied with a man unless she stole him from another woman who loved him. Get therapy to figure out why you need to do this. It's sick.

You as the "Other Woman" is a story as old as time. You need therapy to find out why you thought this was going to work out for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long term affair recently ended. No discovery by spouses. I want to leave all the gifts ever given to me on the APs doorstep, ring the doorbell and leave.

Yea or Nay?

Nay. I’m sorry most posters are bagging on you, OP - I’ve never cheated but try not to judge others - but what you’re considering won’t make things any better and would likely make them worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I pulled strings to get his daughter into school, show up for everything, every airport pickup, errand everything! for 10 years and I can’t consider an real relationship/marriage. The names I was called for suggesting it. So angry. And hurt.

You are all right. I will just ghost.

How did you have time to do anything for your OWN family? That's truly disgusting that you were investing all of that time into another man when you were married yourself.

And, where was your husband when you running out to do airport pick ups? Wtf?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pulled strings to get his daughter into school, show up for everything, every airport pickup, errand everything! for 10 years and I can’t consider an real relationship/marriage. The names I was called for suggesting it. So angry. And hurt.

You are all right. I will just ghost.

How did you have time to do anything for your OWN family? That's truly disgusting that you were investing all of that time into another man when you were married yourself.

And, where was your husband when you running out to do airport pick ups? Wtf?

I’m also wondering how she came home with paintings (which probably are amateur and totally suck, but yaknow, sentimental value!) and jewelry without raising any alarms at home? The jewelry must have been pretty cheap.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m not going to dump things at his house. They were all picked up at the curb by the city trash trucks. 10 years is a long time of love and friendship. I wanted it to be more. He didn’t. Our lives are peripherally intwined because we made it that way over the last few years as we got closer. Things got very serious in the last few months so was quite shocked he reacted the way he did, said the things he said. It was delusional. He lied to my face despite knowing, I knew he was lying.

You are all right. I am a POS. I’ve blocked him. FWIW I wouldn’t have dropped anything at the house unless it was during her work hours away from home.

It’s hurts and I wanted to hurt him too. Your posts made me realize to be better.

It is a cautionary tale for OW. No matter how much they say they want you, it’s a lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pulled strings to get his daughter into school, show up for everything, every airport pickup, errand everything! for 10 years and I can’t consider an real relationship/marriage. The names I was called for suggesting it. So angry. And hurt.

You are all right. I will just ghost.

How did you have time to do anything for your OWN family? That's truly disgusting that you were investing all of that time into another man when you were married yourself.

And, where was your husband when you running out to do airport pick ups? Wtf?

I don’t think she was actually married. She just implied that to sound less pathetic somehow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not going to dump things at his house. They were all picked up at the curb by the city trash trucks. 10 years is a long time of love and friendship. I wanted it to be more. He didn’t. Our lives are peripherally intwined because we made it that way over the last few years as we got closer. Things got very serious in the last few months so was quite shocked he reacted the way he did, said the things he said. It was delusional. He lied to my face despite knowing, I knew he was lying.

You are all right. I am a POS. I’ve blocked him. FWIW I wouldn’t have dropped anything at the house unless it was during her work hours away from home.

It’s hurts and I wanted to hurt him too. Your posts made me realize to be better.

It is a cautionary tale for OW. No matter how much they say they want you, it’s a lie.

How do you know her work hours? I'd be so devastated and creeped out honestly as the BW if there's someone I didn't know about that knew all this stuff about me for 10 years.

I say this OP to bolster your decision to not go there, which is the right call.

[Anonymous]

Nay.

[Anonymous]

The gifts (and you) belong in the trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not going to dump things at his house. They were all picked up at the curb by the city trash trucks. 10 years is a long time of love and friendship. I wanted it to be more. He didn’t. Our lives are peripherally intwined because we made it that way over the last few years as we got closer. Things got very serious in the last few months so was quite shocked he reacted the way he did, said the things he said. It was delusional. He lied to my face despite knowing, I knew he was lying.

You are all right. I am a POS. I’ve blocked him. FWIW I wouldn’t have dropped anything at the house unless it was during her work hours away from home.

It’s hurts and I wanted to hurt him too. Your posts made me realize to be better.

It is a cautionary tale for OW. No matter how much they say they want you, it’s a lie.

That's pretty much public knowledge and always been known. DUH. The fact you were a stage 4 clinger hanging on for TEN years is insane. And, that you are married too.

You need serious help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pulled strings to get his daughter into school, show up for everything, every airport pickup, errand everything! for 10 years and I can’t consider an real relationship/marriage. The names I was called for suggesting it. So angry. And hurt.

You are all right. I will just ghost.

How did you have time to do anything for your OWN family? That's truly disgusting that you were investing all of that time into another man when you were married yourself.

And, where was your husband when you running out to do airport pick ups? Wtf?

I’m also wondering how she came home with paintings (which probably are amateur and totally suck, but yaknow, sentimental value!) and jewelry without raising any alarms at home? The jewelry must have been pretty cheap.

Yes, none of this makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I pulled strings to get his daughter into school, show up for everything, every airport pickup, errand everything! for 10 years and I can’t consider an real relationship/marriage. The names I was called for suggesting it. So angry. And hurt.

You are all right. I will just ghost.

Well you were lying to your spouse and you have no morals. Go for it. Please return and tell us about the dumpster fire you started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pulled strings to get his daughter into school, show up for everything, every airport pickup, errand everything! for 10 years and I can’t consider an real relationship/marriage. The names I was called for suggesting it. So angry. And hurt.

You are all right. I will just ghost.

Well you were lying to your spouse and you have no morals. Go for it. Please return and tell us about the dumpster fire you started.

Oh, and watch out for Karma!