Do you care what other parents look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care what other parents look like, but more because I don’t try very hard to be friends with them. I’m a fat mom with a big job. I don’t hang with the SAHMs that do Pilates and play tennis, because I have nothing in common with them. They talk about their jewelry making business and vacations. They make cookies with each team members name in icing. I have no interest in this at all. They are all fit and pretty, but I can’t stand being with them for any period of time.

My kids play sports and I tend to hang with the dads. My job is more in line with theirs and I know more than most moms about sports.

Oof. Your internal misogyny is showing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is all more complicated than it seems people realize. People self select for all sorts of reasons they may or may not be aware of. If someone is really into cooking healthy and being fit, they are likely to have more to talk about with other people with similar interests. That's the simplified explanation.

It's not symmetric. Fat people like skinny people more than skinny people like fat people.

No one ever asks "why won't fat people date me?". They ask "why won't skinny people date me?"

[Anonymous]

I’ll bite. I gained about twenty pounds after some intense life stresses - then I got pregnant, lost the pregnancy, but had gained an additional twenty-five pounds (late loss). I noticed a *huge* difference in how I was treated at a larger size/weight. Men and women in all contexts were less friendly, less helpful, more dismissive: I was shocked, but I knew it was related to my weight because d never been treated like that before and I’d never been fat before.

Now I’ve lost most of the weight and men and women are friendlier, more helpful, I get better service etc. I think the Economist did a recent analysis on women’s weight/size and income and showed that thinner women make more money.

Eye-opening but unfortunately not surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is all more complicated than it seems people realize. People self select for all sorts of reasons they may or may not be aware of. If someone is really into cooking healthy and being fit, they are likely to have more to talk about with other people with similar interests. That's the simplified explanation.

I agree with this. It depends what type of friend you mean also. My closest circle are people that look similar to me as far as fitness and have similar interests. These are the people we do things with in weekends and vacation with- we all eat similarly, are active, prioritize health for ourselves and our children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Implicit or not, all the “popular” moms at my elementary school are fit and pretty. I’m normally a size 12/14. I lost 25 pounds a few years ago and the cool moms started inviting me places and then I gained the weight back and the invites stopped. I don’t know if it’s something they even realize they do - and I don’t care because it was enough to tell me they aren’t the kind of people I want to be friends with.

My friend group includes all sizes and shapes - and levels of fashionability. It’s a group of women who make me laugh and / or share my hobbies.

Who are the popular moms? And how do you define them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in sports.

There just aren’t a lot of fat parents.

In fact, I think my husband is the biggest guy out of all the dads. He definitely notices. I can’t imagine it’s any easier for the overweight moms.

That’s ridiculous. There are overweight mothers and fathers and their children play sports and gymnastics and dance.

With these kind of statements boxing everyone in their rightful place I can only imagine the racist stereotypes you all hold but keep to yourselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in sports.

There just aren’t a lot of fat parents.

In fact, I think my husband is the biggest guy out of all the dads. He definitely notices. I can’t imagine it’s any easier for the overweight moms.

OP here. My kids also play a lot of sports. Tennis is our main sport.

Tennis is a rich people leisure sport, it's not a real sport.

Exactly. OP is a SAHM (love how she was like “work training” call out). Her job actually is to look pretty and stay thin — all of her squad have that same job or the breadwinner will kick them to the curb and bye squad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in sports.

There just aren’t a lot of fat parents.

In fact, I think my husband is the biggest guy out of all the dads. He definitely notices. I can’t imagine it’s any easier for the overweight moms.

OP here. My kids also play a lot of sports. Tennis is our main sport.

Tennis is a rich people leisure sport, it's not a real sport.

Tell that to the Williams sisters.

The fact they made a movie about how they became tennis players speaks to how exceptional it was

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I gained about twenty pounds after some intense life stresses - then I got pregnant, lost the pregnancy, but had gained an additional twenty-five pounds (late loss). I noticed a *huge* difference in how I was treated at a larger size/weight. Men and women in all contexts were less friendly, less helpful, more dismissive: I was shocked, but I knew it was related to my weight because d never been treated like that before and I’d never been fat before.

Now I’ve lost most of the weight and men and women are friendlier, more helpful, I get better service etc. I think the Economist did a recent analysis on women’s weight/size and income and showed that thinner women make more money.

Eye-opening but unfortunately not surprising.

Same thing happens to short/tall men. Hence men are grafting their legs longer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in sports.

There just aren’t a lot of fat parents.

In fact, I think my husband is the biggest guy out of all the dads. He definitely notices. I can’t imagine it’s any easier for the overweight moms.

That’s ridiculous. There are overweight mothers and fathers and their children play sports and gymnastics and dance.

With these kind of statements boxing everyone in their rightful place I can only imagine the racist stereotypes you all hold but keep to yourselves

Well the fat women are invisible…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in sports.

There just aren’t a lot of fat parents.

In fact, I think my husband is the biggest guy out of all the dads. He definitely notices. I can’t imagine it’s any easier for the overweight moms.

That’s ridiculous. There are overweight mothers and fathers and their children play sports and gymnastics and dance.

With these kind of statements boxing everyone in their rightful place I can only imagine the racist stereotypes you all hold but keep to yourselves

Well the fat women are invisible…

😆

This thread is hilarious.

There are those who feel prettier than they really are and others who feel more invisible than they are.

And then there are idiots like OP's DH who make stupid comments about things that do not concern them. Why did he not date and marry a fat woman since he l loves advocating for us so much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in sports.

There just aren’t a lot of fat parents.

In fact, I think my husband is the biggest guy out of all the dads. He definitely notices. I can’t imagine it’s any easier for the overweight moms.

OP here. My kids also play a lot of sports. Tennis is our main sport.

Tennis is a rich people leisure sport, it's not a real sport.

Exactly. OP is a SAHM (love how she was like “work training” call out). Her job actually is to look pretty and stay thin — all of her squad have that same job or the breadwinner will kick them to the curb and bye squad.

Wow. You certainly jumped to a big conclusion. Not content with prettyuglyfatthin mommy wars thread? Needed to throw in the SAHM/WOHM thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all more complicated than it seems people realize. People self select for all sorts of reasons they may or may not be aware of. If someone is really into cooking healthy and being fit, they are likely to have more to talk about with other people with similar interests. That's the simplified explanation.

I agree with this. It depends what type of friend you mean also. My closest circle are people that look similar to me as far as fitness and have similar interests. These are the people we do things with in weekends and vacation with- we all eat similarly, are active, prioritize health for ourselves and our children

Boy, that sounds dull. Always surrounded by the same types of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all more complicated than it seems people realize. People self select for all sorts of reasons they may or may not be aware of. If someone is really into cooking healthy and being fit, they are likely to have more to talk about with other people with similar interests. That's the simplified explanation.

I agree with this. It depends what type of friend you mean also. My closest circle are people that look similar to me as far as fitness and have similar interests. These are the people we do things with in weekends and vacation with- we all eat similarly, are active, prioritize health for ourselves and our children

Boy, that sounds dull. Always surrounded by the same types of people.

I mean I think people generally form friend groups around interests and if your interests are appearance related or physical in some way it makes sense your friends in that activity will look similar. My primary interests are mental (and by this I mean YA fantasy and pub trivia; it’s not like I’m trying to be pretentious here) so my friends look a wide variety of ways but all were total nerds in school. Similarly I have a friend who’s really into Brazilian jiu jitsu (she also writes YA fantasy hence the overlap) and all her bjj friends are super fit but have a wide variety of school experiences. So physically similar friend groups can be diverse in other ways.

[Anonymous]

I care in the reverse way. I’m intimidated by the thin moms dressed to the nines in full makeup and avoid them. I’m genetically thin but not fit and don’t really have the knowledge or motivation to follow trends.