Left family weekend early-Wdyt?

[Anonymous]

OP, the fact that you have to post here, and want to be told they're wrong -- says it all.

Just plan better next time. And choose to think the best of people.

[Anonymous]

So what if someone else is a “prima Donna”? Schedule what works for you. Do what works for your family. Stop blaming others for your poor planning if the timing didn’t really work for your work schedule or wherever. Returning on a Sunday is stupid and that should never have been your plan anyway. Do better.

[Anonymous]

Clearly my in laws are not alone in type it strong feelings about our travel schedule! I agree we made mistakes (going a weekend that wasn’t preferred, not scheduling Saturday return to start) but also think it’s questionable to go semi berserker when grown ups change their travel plans by a day.

[Anonymous]

They’re the a h, OP.

I would not inconvenience yourself again for these people. Your husband needs to call them out in the clearest terms.

My mother is like this, BTW. It took a lot of boundary-reinforcements to get her to stop accusing us of all and sundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly my in laws are not alone in type it strong feelings about our travel schedule! I agree we made mistakes (going a weekend that wasn’t preferred, not scheduling Saturday return to start) but also think it’s questionable to go semi berserker when grown ups change their travel plans by a day.

I agree that their reaction was wrong.

It will be interesting to see if you can admit that you were wrong to agree to a time frame that really didn’t work for you. Can you admit you were wrong in not simply setting the actual dates and time frame you wanted from the get-go?

Hope you grow up and do better in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly my in laws are not alone in type it strong feelings about our travel schedule! I agree we made mistakes (going a weekend that wasn’t preferred, not scheduling Saturday return to start) but also think it’s questionable to go semi berserker when grown ups change their travel plans by a day.

I agree that their reaction was wrong.

It will be interesting to see if you can admit that you were wrong to agree to a time frame that really didn’t work for you. Can you admit you were wrong in not simply setting the actual dates and time frame you wanted from the get-go?

Hope you grow up and do better in the future.

I mean I literally admitted it in the paragraph you quoted so I don’t know what to tell you. Yes, mistakes were made by me/my husband.

[Anonymous]

Substitute the word “hurt” for “mad.”

The family made plans. Your plan was to be there until Sunday morning. They were looking forward to spending time with you on Saturday. At the last minute, you changed plans for reasons that they didn’t really sound 100 percent kosher. You hurt their feelings. They’ll get over it, but I think if you look at it through their eyes, maybe you can understand how it made them feel. Like you got there, decided they/this experience was lacking, and looked for an excuse for an early exit. Again: it hurt their feelings. In some families maybe there’s a lot of coming and going and people don’t really care, but this doesn’t sound like that kind of family. Which I think you know, again looking at your reference to the sibling as a scheduling “prima donna.” (This IS annoying - I get it.)

It would have been totally different if you had changed the plans before arrival. Once you got there, short of some huge catastrophic weather event, changing the plans mid-trip looks like a statement about how fun or not fun the trip was for you, in real time, as it was unfolding. What they heard from your actions was: “This isn’t worth our time. Let’s go home.”

[Anonymous]

All you PP piling on OP are crazy! My family lives in 2 different places with unpredictable and often awful weather. We have cut short 3 visits that I can count to make a more dependable flight, as have my parents and brother/SIL when they are coming to us. I also travel a ton for work (bc I work for an airline in a non-crew capacity) and when I see certain load factors on flights and know the next few days will be rough, I 100% change travel plans.

It’s not rude, it’s a smart use of the information at hand. It sounds like OPs family are not people who ever have to fly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A visit that starts on a Weds is not a "weekend visit". Weds-Saturday is PLENTY of time.

Next time, don't plan to go for so long.

It absolutely is!
And if OP had **planned** for a Wed-Sat trip, I suspect everything would have been just fine.
But nothing changed - weather is always unpredictable, summer travel is always overbooked, work trip was already planned. **NOTHING** changed, and yet OP decided at the last minute to change her flight.

It's not the length of the trip that upset the inlaws, it's the fact that they obviously just wanted to leave early. I'd definitely have been upset if one of my sisters did that.

+1 and leaving Saturday morning means you didn't really have time to spend with the extended family, which was supposed to be the point of the trip. Fine you were there some weekdays but people were probably working, cousins were in camp. Especially if they thought you would be there during the actual weekend, they probably wouldn't bother to take.a random Thursday off work to hang out.

It's weird OP. Just own it. You made the choice that you preferred but everyone else is not required to be a doormat.

[Anonymous]

I feel you, OP. My family once got mad when I left early because one of my pets was dying and I had to go home to be there to euthanize him. WHY!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A visit that starts on a Weds is not a "weekend visit". Weds-Saturday is PLENTY of time.

Next time, don't plan to go for so long.

It absolutely is!
And if OP had **planned** for a Wed-Sat trip, I suspect everything would have been just fine.
But nothing changed - weather is always unpredictable, summer travel is always overbooked, work trip was already planned. **NOTHING** changed, and yet OP decided at the last minute to change her flight.

It's not the length of the trip that upset the inlaws, it's the fact that they obviously just wanted to leave early. I'd definitely have been upset if one of my sisters did that.

Things did change and spouse needed to ensure he got back. Your emotional reaction to what another adult wants or needs to do is immature. I would have left early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently left a family get together at my parents house a day early snd would love to get an opinion.

For context, one sibling lives in town, two live within three hours, and we live a 2.5 hr flight away, this was a very inconvenient weekend for us but we agreed to it bc one sib is a schedule prima donna. We were originally flying home Sunday morning (arrived weds night) but decided on Friday to move flight to Saturday morning (out of town subs we’re driving home that evening.)

Our reasons were: flight was overbooked and there were no other direct flights Sunday, severe storms predicted, and one spouse had very important work trip departing early Monday am. (We recently had an epic flight cancellation saga so that probably made us more nervous than we would have been otherwise.) the other reason (unspoken, obv) was that we just honestly felt like getting home, felt like we had visited plenty and wanted a break before a busy week.) So although there was concern about flight we were also delighted to be home sooner.

In my family, the response would have been “oh that’s too bad’, we will miss you Saturday!” and that’s literally it. In-laws we’re genuinely mad though. Are wta?

Stop with your excuses and be honest. You don't like them and didn't want to be there in the first place. In future, if it is inconvenient, say so and stay home and then you didn't need to lie--which everyone can see through and now they think of you as liar.

What bull shite. I’ve been in this situation and we left because of concerns about getting home. You don’t get to control how other people manage their time or concerns. I’d bet you are a terrible in law and take everything as a personal affront.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you PP piling on OP are crazy! My family lives in 2 different places with unpredictable and often awful weather. We have cut short 3 visits that I can count to make a more dependable flight, as have my parents and brother/SIL when they are coming to us. I also travel a ton for work (bc I work for an airline in a non-crew capacity) and when I see certain load factors on flights and know the next few days will be rough, I 100% change travel plans.

It’s not rude, it’s a smart use of the information at hand. It sounds like OPs family are not people who ever have to fly.

I think ops ils just want to birch at her. They are awful and I wouldn’t tolerate them telling me I was lying for one second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you PP piling on OP are crazy! My family lives in 2 different places with unpredictable and often awful weather. We have cut short 3 visits that I can count to make a more dependable flight, as have my parents and brother/SIL when they are coming to us. I also travel a ton for work (bc I work for an airline in a non-crew capacity) and when I see certain load factors on flights and know the next few days will be rough, I 100% change travel plans.

It’s not rude, it’s a smart use of the information at hand. It sounds like OPs family are not people who ever have to fly.

This. Op, ignore the haters. You were 100% fine and it’s insane that their reaction is to get mad. Things and life happen. They don’t sound very kind, empathetic or resilient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How the heck does a person find out that their flight isn’t just fully booked but overbooked??

Repeated emails from American Airlines saying it was overbooked and asking if we wanted to delay our return.

That's lame and you know it since you are clearly experienced travelers. AA isn't picking you out, everyone on the flight is getting that message about delaying/volunteering. I get those on 80% of my flights these days because they are all full. I don't give it a second thought.