Left family weekend early-Wdyt?

[Anonymous]

I think it also depends on how you delivered the message to them about leaving early.

[Anonymous]

By “blatantly mad” I mean sulking, at one point crabbily “joking” they’d rather I missed my work trip and “lost her damn job” than leave a day early, and, as a finale, checking flights and finding there was a late afternoon flight with a layover in Atlanta that had space and accusing us of lying about our (direct, morning) flight being overbooked.

[Anonymous]

I doubt they were actually mad. But I bet they were disappointed, which I can understand. The expectation that you would stay through Sunday was suddenly switched on them. Anyone would be disappointed if their kid and spouse, and grandkids cut the trip short last minute. I don't think you are an a-hole at all, and I don't think you're ILS are jerks. It's a normal emotion. Sure, they made some questionable jokes, but it's not the end of the world. It's not like they said, "fine, get the F out B". That would be MAD. lol

[Anonymous]

Honestly I think they intuited that it was BS and that you were being overdramatic about the risk/weather.

I’m not saying YTA or that I would have done something different but I think it’s a bit naive to rely on the alleged validity of your reasons to say they shouldn’t be mad. You know yourself it was partially BS and they’re just not letting you save face by pretending to believe it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By “blatantly mad” I mean sulking, at one point crabbily “joking” they’d rather I missed my work trip and “lost her damn job” than leave a day early, and, as a finale, checking flights and finding there was a late afternoon flight with a layover in Atlanta that had space and accusing us of lying about our (direct, morning) flight being overbooked.

What does this even mean though? Overbooked flights mean they have to offer to bump people. It’s weird you’re acting like this meant you were being involuntarily bumped off the flight.

So yeah I would be pissed if I felt like I was being lied to. No one thinks and overbooked flight means you’re about to get stranded.

[Anonymous]

Because of the work commitment, I think it makes sense to leave early. Some may say that just the parent with work stuff could go early - but I would not want to be stuck in a cancelled flight airport snafu with my kids alone if I had another option- so I think you were right.

If my kids were older (8-16?) and easy going / good travelers, I may have just sent the spouse early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt they were actually mad. But I bet they were disappointed, which I can understand. The expectation that you would stay through Sunday was suddenly switched on them. Anyone would be disappointed if their kid and spouse, and grandkids cut the trip short last minute. I don't think you are an a-hole at all, and I don't think your ILS are jerks. It's a normal emotion. Sure, they made some questionable jokes, but it's not the end of the world. It's not like they said, "fine, get the F out B". That would be MAD. lol

Saying that you’d rather your DIL get fired from her job than leave a day early seems very mad to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By “blatantly mad” I mean sulking, at one point crabbily “joking” they’d rather I missed my work trip and “lost her damn job” than leave a day early, and, as a finale, checking flights and finding there was a late afternoon flight with a layover in Atlanta that had space and accusing us of lying about our (direct, morning) flight being overbooked.

What does this even mean though? Overbooked flights mean they have to offer to bump people. It’s weird you’re acting like this meant you were being involuntarily bumped off the flight.

So yeah I would be pissed if I felt like I was being lied to. No one thinks and overbooked flight means you’re about to get stranded.

It means that flight is super full and if it gets cancelled for storms, it’s going to be near impossible to reschedule all those people - worse than if it was a half-full flight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By “blatantly mad” I mean sulking, at one point crabbily “joking” they’d rather I missed my work trip and “lost her damn job” than leave a day early, and, as a finale, checking flights and finding there was a late afternoon flight with a layover in Atlanta that had space and accusing us of lying about our (direct, morning) flight being overbooked.

What does this even mean though? Overbooked flights mean they have to offer to bump people. It’s weird you’re acting like this meant you were being involuntarily bumped off the flight.

So yeah I would be pissed if I felt like I was being lied to. No one thinks and overbooked flight means you’re about to get stranded.

It means that flight is super full and if it gets cancelled for storms, it’s going to be near impossible to reschedule all those people - worse than if it was a half-full flight.

That’s a lot of ifs and maybes. If someone did to me, what you did to them, I would be insulted, because I would assume it was a pretense and they were pointing to a hypothetical flight problem to cover.

Which was at least partially true in your case so there you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt they were actually mad. But I bet they were disappointed, which I can understand. The expectation that you would stay through Sunday was suddenly switched on them. Anyone would be disappointed if their kid and spouse, and grandkids cut the trip short last minute. I don't think you are an a-hole at all, and I don't think your ILS are jerks. It's a normal emotion. Sure, they made some questionable jokes, but it's not the end of the world. It's not like they said, "fine, get the F out B". That would be MAD. lol

Saying that you’d rather your DIL get fired from her job than leave a day early seems very mad to me.

It depends. Was it said yelled in an angry and aggressive rude tone? Or was it said in a jokey laugh kind of awkward way? Obviously, he didn't really want DIL to be fired. He was trying to find a way to express his disappointment but did a poor job of it. A lot of people do this.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all! Clearly my in laws have some like minded folks out there. I think the consequence of this will be we just go to see his folks when it works for us and not work our schedule around sibs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all! Clearly my in laws have some like minded folks out there. I think the consequence of this will be we just go to see his folks when it works for us and not work our schedule around sibs.

But… it wasn’t really only a scheduling thing? You know it, so I don’t know why you’re still pretending that was at the root.

It sounds more like you need to plan shorter trips.

[Anonymous]

I think you leaving early was 100% okay (but did you think about flying back early on your own and letting your husband and kids stay the planned amount of time?). Your ILs are being so short-sighted because the logical result of their hissy fit is that it makes you and you husband want to go visit them less and not more.

Also I do think you shouldn’t say a thing to them. If they are upset, it’s up to your husband to shut it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you leaving early was 100% okay (but did you think about flying back early on your own and letting your husband and kids stay the planned amount of time?). Your ILs are being so short-sighted because the logical result of their hissy fit is that it makes you and you husband want to go visit them less and not more.

Also I do think you shouldn’t say a thing to them. If they are upset, it’s up to your husband to shut it down.

Damn, people aren't allowed to be upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all! Clearly my in laws have some like minded folks out there. I think the consequence of this will be we just go to see his folks when it works for us and not work our schedule around sibs.

Hopefully, another consequence is that you will see that it's important to this family that you do what you said you were going to do. If you said you were going to stay until Sunday, stay until Sunday (barring actual emergencies; your reasons were about convenience which I understand, but you have to build that into the initial plan). Maybe next time, plan an earlier departure but be willing (privately, amongst yourselves) to stay longer if things are going well.