Siblings kids not invited to wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being unreasonable. Leave the kids with the spouse at home. Or leave the kids at the hotel with the spouse for a few hours. I will never understand people who have no trouble sending their kids to daycare or school or who will go out to dinner and leave their kids with the babysitter but insist that for some reason their kids cannot be apart from them for a few hours for a wedding.

You are assuming a lot. And I can't believe you are arguing that school is the same separation. It isn't. A lot of parents who want their kids to be invited also don't use daycare

[Anonymous]

This is your sibling. I wouldn't find it odd to ask at all. Honestly, I can't believe a sibling would have a destination wedding and not at least include the sibling kids. This is beyond my realm of understanding in my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Etiquette is that if your child starts misbehaving and screaming the parent and child step outside of the venue.

The issue is that the parents who insist their kid be included in the guest list are the exact same parents who think the day is about them, and refuse to step out of the venue when (not if) the kid starts screaming. It's not a reunion or your party - if you want that, plan it yourself. If there are no kids or only one or two kids in the wedding party, that is telling you that it is not a free for all circus environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I find the no children (particularly of immediate family) weddings to be very sad.

Now weddings are all about the instagram. It used to be weddings were about the vows, the family, and the community.

Same

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Infants in arms are an exception to the “no kids” rule.

I’m sorry though. Both of my siblings did this too. My brother wanted the kids to be in the wedding photos, but not at the wedding. So I had to bring them and get them dressed up, and then send them off to the hotel with the babysitter.

No, they are not.

Yes they are.
If you don’t want your sister to bring her infant to your wedding, then don’t invite her.

Nope. The invite would have said “infants in arms ok” if that is what “no kids” had meant.

And sure, don’t invite the sister with kids. That would go over so well! Would be an epic DCUM thread!

Honestly, it won’t go over awesome if the OP just doesn’t go to her sibling’s wedding.

Why can’t the sibling just take the blame and not invite the siblings with kids?

Because it is more appropriate for the mom to say no than the bride to say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is your sibling. I wouldn't find it odd to ask at all. Honestly, I can't believe a sibling would have a destination wedding and not at least include the sibling kids. This is beyond my realm of understanding in my family.

How is this hard to understand? Sibling wants a childfree wedding. What is the big deal? You can make plans to see your sibling the other 364 days a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's a destination wedding- is it at an all inclusive resort with childcare?

I don't like children to be invited to weddings either. I didn't know any kids when dh and I got married, so it wasn't an issue. I've seen a lot of kids ruin wedding.

That being said, I think siblings' kids should be invited. My kids were hurt they weren't invited to our only sister's wedding (my oldest is girly and wanted to be a flower girl). Looking back it's weird they aren't in any of the family pictures. These were the last times we could have had 4 generations present too. I brought my parents to the wedding weekend and my kids stayed with them at the hotel.

+1

I have also seen kids ruin weddings because the moms (and dads) refuse to step outside when the kid starts inevitably screaming.

I think the issue is that the bride or groom (for example) may have family that they consider as close as siblings (possibly cousins that are closer than certain siblings), and if those kids are not invited, then it would be offensive to those who were not allowed (if the bride and groom made other exceptions).

That sounds kind of made up. Who would be offended by this?
Do you honestly know anyone who has gotten upset that a close friend invited their sister’s nursing infant to a wedding?

[Anonymous]

What do your parents think, OP? I can’t imagine my mom not weighing in on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is your sibling. I wouldn't find it odd to ask at all. Honestly, I can't believe a sibling would have a destination wedding and not at least include the sibling kids. This is beyond my realm of understanding in my family.

Your family sounds controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sibling is having a weekday, outdoor, daytime, destination wedding and I was just informed that children under 18 are not invited. I thought I may have a special exception since my toddler ages kids are her nieces and nephews, but I’m now expected not to bring them. My sibling is totally clueless about childcare logistics and separation anxiety, so doesn’t realize what a burden this is. How can I politely ask if my kids can attend either the ceremony or reception?

Don't transfer your anxiety to her, find a solution. If paid baby sitting is unaffordable then request your in-laws, a friend or a neighbor to babysit for a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do your parents think, OP? I can’t imagine my mom not weighing in on this.

It is not your mom’s business.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Infants in arms are an exception to the “no kids” rule.

I’m sorry though. Both of my siblings did this too. My brother wanted the kids to be in the wedding photos, but not at the wedding. So I had to bring them and get them dressed up, and then send them off to the hotel with the babysitter.

No, they are not.

Yes they are.
If you don’t want your sister to bring her infant to your wedding, then don’t invite her.

Nope. The invite would have said “infants in arms ok” if that is what “no kids” had meant.

And sure, don’t invite the sister with kids. That would go over so well! Would be an epic DCUM thread!

Honestly, it won’t go over awesome if the OP just doesn’t go to her sibling’s wedding.

Why can’t the sibling just take the blame and not invite the siblings with kids?

Because it is more appropriate for the mom to say no than the bride to say no.

What is the bride saying “no” to? There isn’t a question.
Just don’t invite people with babies. Then this doesn’t come up. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Etiquette is that if your child starts misbehaving and screaming the parent and child step outside of the venue.

The issue is that the parents who insist their kid be included in the guest list are the exact same parents who think the day is about them, and refuse to step out of the venue when (not if) the kid starts screaming. It's not a reunion or your party - if you want that, plan it yourself. If there are no kids or only one or two kids in the wedding party, that is telling you that it is not a free for all circus environment.

You all assume the worst. I got married in my early 30s, the last of the friend groups of both myself and my spouse. For a wedding of 160 people, almost 40 were under 15yr old. 11 were under a year! No babies cried during the ceremony. Some people chose to bring kids to ceremony and reception. Some chose one but not the other. Some left kids home. We let our guests choose what worked for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do your parents think, OP? I can’t imagine my mom not weighing in on this.

It is not your mom’s business.

How can you know that?

I mean, it’s entirely possible that this family is very close.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, didn't see that its a destination event. Just leave your kids at home with hubby and let sister know that unless kids are invited, hubby won't be able to come. No big deal, no drama.