Getting so much crap for wanting a vacation house of our own- thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They will 100% cut you out of the property inheritance since “you already have your own.” NBD, just don’t be surprised.

The inheritance on a 1BR/1BA cabin. I'm sure she'll be 100% ok without it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They will 100% cut you out of the property inheritance since “you already have your own.” NBD, just don’t be surprised.

The inheritance on a 1BR/1BA cabin. I'm sure she'll be 100% ok without it.

LOL seriously. I’d pay a few thousand not to have to deal with a shack.

[Anonymous]

OP ... if you have the money. Easily. College and retirement fully funded? DH agrees? You are entitled to do your thing. Quit talking to your parents about this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s funny that you think this is an “extreme first world problem.” Not in DCUMland. Nobody here wants a cheesy little lake house that a couple in their early 30s can afford. The folks here could buy ten of them.

I wouldn’t start thinking of buying a second home until you’re swimming in money,
OP. Are you?

Disagree. We bought a beach home in Rehoboth in early 30s. Has tripled in value and we may early retire there. Great investment.

Unless it’s under water by then.

Don’t care. Will be dead by then.😀👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't get another cabin, but maybe I'm not a cabin person? I'd just go there when other people aren't around. If they want BIG FAMILY VACATION, it can be somewhere else.

Neither of our families do vacations, ever. Family time is at the cabins- we both grew up like this. I think the last family vacation we did was in 1996 when we drove to the middle of nowhere for a family reunion.

Maybe it is time to try out vacations before you sink all kinds of money in another house?

Agree. You have the means to travel.

We do travel. DH and I have been to 25+ countries together. Our 5yo has been to 6 countries and our 2yo has been to 3.

oh then who wrote that they don't travel outside of going to their cabin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop discussing it with them and just do what you want.

+1 Assuming this is what you want just do it. I wouldn't be visiting either cabin based on the space/accommodations you described.

NP and I agree with this. Also: you wrote this, OP:

They also keep reminding us that we will eventually inherit 1/2 of inlaws and 1/3 of my parents.

I know a bunch of families I grew up around, friends of my parents with lakeside houses etc. And when that next generation inherited 1/2 or 1/3 of a cabin? Never ended well. Not once. Permanent rifts in one case; in other cases, ongoing tensions over who got the house, for how long, who left it in a mess, etc. etc. Very nice families, considered themselves close, but co-owning a vacation property even with someone you love and get along with STILL creates tensions.

Especially, OP, since you want to do things like put your own imprint on a cabin with your own decorating, and you're done with sleeping on air mattresses and sharing etc. -- Get what you want; do not make a habit of having the family stay there (guess what...they have their own cabins where they can vacation!) and frankly, I would not want that 1/2 or 1/3 share in other cabins. Period. I'd tell the folks long before they died: Please leave your cabin 100 percent to other sibling or whatever. Co-owning won't end well and by then you'll have your own cabin anyway.

Though from all the pressure your loving family puts on you--honestly, I'd want my vacation cabin to be in a different location so they weren't comng over and then carping about how it wasn't as great as the "family cabins." Because that's likely to happen too. I'm not sour on owning a vaction house, just on co-owning one, or having one so close to other family who have made clear they feel entitled to get into your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would buy it, if you like being at this lake (I would not).

My main warning to you is that you make clear this is for your family and your family only if you are there. Otherwise you are going to wind up with people stuffing into your cabin and recreating the same scene at as the other cabins.

Omg yes this totally going to happen

[Anonymous]

"You may not recognize it but we're real grownups with big bodies now so we need a bed. Your place is great but you just don't have the space for us. Until you can add a wing, we're just not going to be able to make it work."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't get another cabin, but maybe I'm not a cabin person? I'd just go there when other people aren't around. If they want BIG FAMILY VACATION, it can be somewhere else.

Neither of our families do vacations, ever. Family time is at the cabins- we both grew up like this. I think the last family vacation we did was in 1996 when we drove to the middle of nowhere for a family reunion.

Maybe it is time to try out vacations before you sink all kinds of money in another house?

Agree. You have the means to travel.

We do travel. DH and I have been to 25+ countries together. Our 5yo has been to 6 countries and our 2yo has been to 3.

oh then who wrote that they don't travel outside of going to their cabin?

OP was talking about their extended families who have/ go to the cabins - not her family.

[Anonymous]

OP - I can’t believe you go to these cabins as much as you do with those horrible sleeping arrangements. Why are you always on the air mattress (and not the other couples sometime)?

I’m any case, I would totally get my own cabin. Be careful, it sounds like either family has great boundaries. Will the hoards of crowds come crash at your place??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rich people problems

No, rich people don’t cram 15 ppl into a tiny cabin and call it a vacation.

More like middle class problems.

[Anonymous]

You are not nuts, and you should do what you want even if it upsets your parents and in laws.

[Anonymous]

I would do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fully realize this is an extreme first world problem. Both my parents and my in laws have vacation cabins on lakes.

My family: DH and I (early 30s), 5yo, 2yo, German shepherd.

...

What say you, DCUM? Are we nuts for wanting our own vacation home?

OP wrote 2 lakes. Rent for your family near each set of them. So how far apart are the parents and inlaws small cabins/houses? Buy in 1 spot and the other could complain and you're still stuck going to one area where you don't have your own house. How far away are these lakes from where you live? Obviously the number of bedrooms and baths at each existing place are gross for the number of guests.

[Anonymous]

No way would I be going to those cabins with those sleeping arrangements ever. That sounds horrible.

One thing to consider is that your kids are very young. Soon they will be getting into activities and won’t be able to go away on the weekends anymore. Will you be ok owning a cabin that you barely use?

If you want your own cabin, get it. This is not a decision you should be making with your parents.