Getting so much crap for wanting a vacation house of our own- thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I fully realize this is an extreme first world problem. Both my parents and my in laws have vacation cabins on lakes.

My family: DH and I (early 30s), 5yo, 2yo, German shepherd.

My parents' cabin: 2bd/1ba. I have two younger siblings still dating their SOs and in the fun/party stage. My mom offers an open invite to her sister and my 3 cousins who also all have SOs and dogs. It almost always ends up my parents in one bedroom, my aunt in the other, 4-10 drunk 20 somethings up til 2am then sprawled across couches, chairs, and floors to sleep. Plus 1-4 dogs. Then my kids in slumber pods and DH and I on an air mattress all in the corner of the living room. Even when I push my kids til their latest bedtime they can barely make it to 9pm and we do bedtime with a party going on around them. Then they're up at 7am and all the hungover people are annoyed when I try to get them dressed and pee and take them outside for a few hours while everyone else sleeps.

My in law's cabin: Dh's brother has a wife and 3 kids ages 5, 2, baby, and big dog. In laws have their bedroom, BIL and SIL and baby take a bedroom, and then the 4 kids ages 2-5 get the 3rd (which is total insanity at these ages). Dh and I have an airbed on the living room floor next to the bathroom door with the 2 dogs.

Recently, DH and I have been going to look at cabins for ourselves and our parents are VEHEMENTLY against it. They say it's ridiculous to buy one when we already have two to stay at for free whenever we want. They also keep reminding us that we will eventually inherit 1/2 of inlaws and 1/3 of my parents. All of our parents are mid 60s so (hopefully!) that won't happen for 20ish more years when my kids are mid 20s and Dh and I are mid 50s.

I'd love to decorate, get to keep our things (clothes, towels, swim/beach gear, wagon, toiletries) so we don't have to schlepp all the time, host friends, have a space for us all to sleep, be on our own schedule, make family memories while my kids are really getting into fun active ages, etc.

What say you, DCUM? Are we nuts for wanting our own vacation home?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Spin it as a compliment - you guys made it so fun for us we want the same!

Try to make it near them if you can - they are probably scared they won’t see you anymore if your parents have a cabin in the Adirondacks; ILs are in Catskills and you are looking at Tahoe, so example.

[Anonymous]

"our parents are VEHEMENTLY against it"

So what?

[Anonymous]

You can always rent one.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s funny that you think this is an “extreme first world problem.” Not in DCUMland. Nobody here wants a cheesy little lake house that a couple in their early 30s can afford. The folks here could buy ten of them.

I wouldn’t start thinking of buying a second home until you’re swimming in money,
OP. Are you?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't get another cabin, but maybe I'm not a cabin person? I'd just go there when other people aren't around. If they want BIG FAMILY VACATION, it can be somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Rich people problems

[Anonymous]

Stop discussing it with them and just do what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s funny that you think this is an “extreme first world problem.” Not in DCUMland. Nobody here wants a cheesy little lake house that a couple in their early 30s can afford. The folks here could buy ten of them.

I wouldn’t start thinking of buying a second home until you’re swimming in money,
OP. Are you?

No, not swimming in money, but we purchased our house really young at a 2.5% rate and our HHI has 4x since then with lots of room to grow so we are doing solid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fully realize this is an extreme first world problem. Both my parents and my in laws have vacation cabins on lakes.

My family: DH and I (early 30s), 5yo, 2yo, German shepherd.

My parents' cabin: 2bd/1ba. I have two younger siblings still dating their SOs and in the fun/party stage. My mom offers an open invite to her sister and my 3 cousins who also all have SOs and dogs. It almost always ends up my parents in one bedroom, my aunt in the other, 4-10 drunk 20 somethings up til 2am then sprawled across couches, chairs, and floors to sleep. Plus 1-4 dogs. Then my kids in slumber pods and DH and I on an air mattress all in the corner of the living room. Even when I push my kids til their latest bedtime they can barely make it to 9pm and we do bedtime with a party going on around them. Then they're up at 7am and all the hungover people are annoyed when I try to get them dressed and pee and take them outside for a few hours while everyone else sleeps.

My in law's cabin: Dh's brother has a wife and 3 kids ages 5, 2, baby, and big dog. In laws have their bedroom, BIL and SIL and baby take a bedroom, and then the 4 kids ages 2-5 get the 3rd (which is total insanity at these ages). Dh and I have an airbed on the living room floor next to the bathroom door with the 2 dogs.

Recently, DH and I have been going to look at cabins for ourselves and our parents are VEHEMENTLY against it. They say it's ridiculous to buy one when we already have two to stay at for free whenever we want. They also keep reminding us that we will eventually inherit 1/2 of inlaws and 1/3 of my parents. All of our parents are mid 60s so (hopefully!) that won't happen for 20ish more years when my kids are mid 20s and Dh and I are mid 50s.

I'd love to decorate, get to keep our things (clothes, towels, swim/beach gear, wagon, toiletries) so we don't have to schlepp all the time, host friends, have a space for us all to sleep, be on our own schedule, make family memories while my kids are really getting into fun active ages, etc.

What say you, DCUM? Are we nuts for wanting our own vacation home?

That is a crappy sleeping situation, OP. If you can afford it, why not get your own house? I get it, ILs take all the good sleeping spots here, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't get another cabin, but maybe I'm not a cabin person? I'd just go there when other people aren't around. If they want BIG FAMILY VACATION, it can be somewhere else.

Neither of our families do vacations, ever. Family time is at the cabins- we both grew up like this. I think the last family vacation we did was in 1996 when we drove to the middle of nowhere for a family reunion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop discussing it with them and just do what you want.

+1 Assuming this is what you want just do it. I wouldn't be visiting either cabin based on the space/accommodations you described.

[Anonymous]

Why is this even a discussion? Do what you want and TELL—don’t ask them—what you are doing.

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

There is a whole lot of middle ground between sleeping on an air mattress in the corner of the living room surrounded by drunkards and buying a vacation home.
I would want to stay at either of the homes you’ve described.
Only you know your finances though and whether it makes sense for you to buy your own place or not.

[Anonymous]

“ wouldn’t want “ above