Getting so much crap for wanting a vacation house of our own- thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop discussing it with them and just do what you want.

This. You're 30 not 5. Do what you want. Tell them after.

And no way in he!! would I be sleeping in the living room on an air mattress. I'd be renting my own place.

[Anonymous]

Tell both sides you’d be happy to swap sleeping arrangements with them. Will shut them up quick!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't get another cabin, but maybe I'm not a cabin person? I'd just go there when other people aren't around. If they want BIG FAMILY VACATION, it can be somewhere else.

Neither of our families do vacations, ever. Family time is at the cabins- we both grew up like this. I think the last family vacation we did was in 1996 when we drove to the middle of nowhere for a family reunion.

Maybe it is time to try out vacations before you sink all kinds of money in another house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, to clarify- the two cabins are 90 mins apart on separate lakes. We'd likely buy around my parents cabin because its an hour door to door from our house, in laws is 2.5 hours.

Other answers to questions:
-We do travel a lot. Our 5yo has been to 6 countries and our 2yo has been to 3.
-We are not rich, but live in a MCOL area with great public schools. HHI $330k with room for growth, $2000 PITI on our house, no other debt outside of our mortgage, won't be paying for private schools or anything, one more year of childcare for our youngest then that's behind us. The cabins we are looking at are like $200k.
-We both WFH and have pretty flexible jobs so our hope is even when the kids are in sports we could do day trips or even day trips while they're at school (which we have been doing often as we've been looking at properties). We can both block off a Friday or Monday on our schedules and work extra the other days if needed and it's no big deal.
-Currently, we are going to one cabin or the other probably 2 weekends per month in the summer and 1 weekend per month the rest of the year (we also sled, ski, ice fish, snow mobile). We'd definitely use it.

Agree we learned our lesson about sharing info with our parents.

In that case, I change my answer and think you should buy. It sounds as if you've got your act together and know what you want!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP do you take money from them or something? Otherwise why can’t you do what you want with your own money?

We can, it was just odd that both sets of our parents have the same feelings so I wanted a gut check to see if I was way off base here. We definitely don't take money from them. I've been self supporting since I was 18, my parents didn't even help me with college.

Of course they do. This means they will see less of you. Think about how inconvenienced you are when visiting. And then think about how much better it will be when you have your own space.

[Anonymous]

You are adults and you should buy if you want to buy. Even if they’re against it.

Just to clarify, when you describe these “vacations “is this a one time a year sleeping arrangement or is it anytime you want to go to the lake? It sounds miserable I’m just trying to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fully realize this is an extreme first world problem. Both my parents and my in laws have vacation cabins on lakes.

My family: DH and I (early 30s), 5yo, 2yo, German shepherd.

My parents' cabin: 2bd/1ba. I have two younger siblings still dating their SOs and in the fun/party stage. My mom offers an open invite to her sister and my 3 cousins who also all have SOs and dogs. It almost always ends up my parents in one bedroom, my aunt in the other, 4-10 drunk 20 somethings up til 2am then sprawled across couches, chairs, and floors to sleep. Plus 1-4 dogs. Then my kids in slumber pods and DH and I on an air mattress all in the corner of the living room. Even when I push my kids til their latest bedtime they can barely make it to 9pm and we do bedtime with a party going on around them. Then they're up at 7am and all the hungover people are annoyed when I try to get them dressed and pee and take them outside for a few hours while everyone else sleeps.

My in law's cabin: Dh's brother has a wife and 3 kids ages 5, 2, baby, and big dog. In laws have their bedroom, BIL and SIL and baby take a bedroom, and then the 4 kids ages 2-5 get the 3rd (which is total insanity at these ages). Dh and I have an airbed on the living room floor next to the bathroom door with the 2 dogs.

Recently, DH and I have been going to look at cabins for ourselves and our parents are VEHEMENTLY against it. They say it's ridiculous to buy one when we already have two to stay at for free whenever we want. They also keep reminding us that we will eventually inherit 1/2 of inlaws and 1/3 of my parents. All of our parents are mid 60s so (hopefully!) that won't happen for 20ish more years when my kids are mid 20s and Dh and I are mid 50s.

I'd love to decorate, get to keep our things (clothes, towels, swim/beach gear, wagon, toiletries) so we don't have to schlepp all the time, host friends, have a space for us all to sleep, be on our own schedule, make family memories while my kids are really getting into fun active ages, etc.

What say you, DCUM? Are we nuts for wanting our own vacation home?

my mom was vehemently against too, similar situation. Now prices doubled. GO WITH YOUR GUT!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are adults and you should buy if you want to buy. Even if they’re against it.

Just to clarify, when you describe these “vacations “is this a one time a year sleeping arrangement or is it anytime you want to go to the lake? It sounds miserable I’m just trying to understand.

It's most of the time. Sometimes we can snag a quiet weekend where no one is there, but that's the exception. The cabins are pretty much the hubs of both families.

[Anonymous]

Consider your days sleeping on the floor on an air mattress over. Buy yourself a cabin!! DCUM fully supports this.

[Anonymous]

I would buy it, if you like being at this lake (I would not).

My main warning to you is that you make clear this is for your family and your family only if you are there. Otherwise you are going to wind up with people stuffing into your cabin and recreating the same scene at as the other cabins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't get another cabin, but maybe I'm not a cabin person? I'd just go there when other people aren't around. If they want BIG FAMILY VACATION, it can be somewhere else.

Neither of our families do vacations, ever. Family time is at the cabins- we both grew up like this. I think the last family vacation we did was in 1996 when we drove to the middle of nowhere for a family reunion.

Maybe it is time to try out vacations before you sink all kinds of money in another house?

Agree. You have the means to travel.

[Anonymous]

I’d find a place to rent. I honestly can’t believe you are putting your babies/toddlers in pack n plays surrounded by drunk cousins. I would have tolerated that one night before never staying there again. That sounds like hell, not a vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't get another cabin, but maybe I'm not a cabin person? I'd just go there when other people aren't around. If they want BIG FAMILY VACATION, it can be somewhere else.

Neither of our families do vacations, ever. Family time is at the cabins- we both grew up like this. I think the last family vacation we did was in 1996 when we drove to the middle of nowhere for a family reunion.

Maybe it is time to try out vacations before you sink all kinds of money in another house?

Agree. You have the means to travel.

We do travel. DH and I have been to 25+ countries together. Our 5yo has been to 6 countries and our 2yo has been to 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider your days sleeping on the floor on an air mattress over. Buy yourself a cabin!! DCUM fully supports this.

I can’t fathom dealing with those insane sleeping arrangements and ONLY 1 BATHROOM. Pure hell.

[Anonymous]

I feel I make too much money to sleep on an air mattress anywhere. I wouldn't put up with that. I'd splurge for a rental house or simply not go.