Any Ivy graduates here? Ivy League graduate son in a funk, humuliated, & remains jobless

[Anonymous]

Temp agency, too. I hired a couple really bright entry level people that way. One was a temp receptionist we hired for a full time analyst role. It gets you in the door, we get to know your work ethic and you often can interview first because you are there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No matter your education, it's perfectly reasonable to take an entry-level professional job and then work your way up, and/or take a temp or job that doesn't require a college education while job hunting - and in this economy, he won't have much trouble. When I graduated decades ago, I spent about 4 months doing temp clerical work while looking for a permanent job. It was much better - financially, psychologically, and professionally - than job hunting full time.

But taking any job means you're not tapping the Ivy college resources and/or your Ivy network, which in theory should have access to higher paying dream jobs. And you're also creating more distance from your Ivy network instead of building a bond through the new job hunt and job offer. And without the network help, you may end up in a job that couldn't care less about the Ivy degree, if not have some contempt for you. It all seems a little shortsighted when there are employers who will pay a premium to add a [Dartmouth or whatever] graduate to their roster.

There is no Ivy League network really, it can help you get into grad school and that’s about it.

The employers that pay a premium for an Ivy grad are actually looking for the hallmarks of a connected family and upbringing — rowing crew and interned in banking etc.

Only the closest of friends (or often a significant other) will go bat and hook you up.

Ivy is not an easy stepping stone to the UMC world, usually the most sure fire path I’ve seen is by marrying a classmate.

For truly MC students, the best option is consulting, from Accenture to BCG — they take a wider variety of “types”, and know that the banks and tech world get the high prestige candidates now, and they work them hard but it can lead to good roles and is good training.

From my experience as a 90s Ivy grad, all of the MC students ended up in normal jobs, like teaching or consulting, unless they married up and basically bad that backing and safety net to make the leap.

Back in the day I was told consulting firms have GPA cutoffs.

I sure BCG and Bain do, but as an Ivy C student, I had offers from Accenture and Sapient

Big 4 has consulting as well. Network to find out the niche fields. My tenant was a 25 yr old with PWC strategy and he makes 175k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

This 100%. I think this humbling experience is good for you both. And he needs to be mature enough to get over his fear of being mocked or ignored. That's just life. Job searching is tough. You get lots of rejections. He needs to harden his skin at some point. Might as well be now.

And yes, if he let his grades slide during undergrad, then he did waste the opportunity. It's a life lesson. He will value all future opportunities more. This also is part of life and learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No matter your education, it's perfectly reasonable to take an entry-level professional job and then work your way up, and/or take a temp or job that doesn't require a college education while job hunting - and in this economy, he won't have much trouble. When I graduated decades ago, I spent about 4 months doing temp clerical work while looking for a permanent job. It was much better - financially, psychologically, and professionally - than job hunting full time.

But taking any job means you're not tapping the Ivy college resources and/or your Ivy network, which in theory should have access to higher paying dream jobs. And you're also creating more distance from your Ivy network instead of building a bond through the new job hunt and job offer. And without the network help, you may end up in a job that couldn't care less about the Ivy degree, if not have some contempt for you. It all seems a little shortsighted when there are employers who will pay a premium to add a [Dartmouth or whatever] graduate to their roster.

There is no Ivy League network really, it can help you get into grad school and that’s about it.

The employers that pay a premium for an Ivy grad are actually looking for the hallmarks of a connected family and upbringing — rowing crew and interned in banking etc.

Only the closest of friends (or often a significant other) will go bat and hook you up.

Ivy is not an easy stepping stone to the UMC world, usually the most sure fire path I’ve seen is by marrying a classmate.

For truly MC students, the best option is consulting, from Accenture to BCG — they take a wider variety of “types”, and know that the banks and tech world get the high prestige candidates now, and they work them hard but it can lead to good roles and is good training.

From my experience as a 90s Ivy grad, all of the MC students ended up in normal jobs, like teaching or consulting, unless they married up and basically bad that backing and safety net to make the leap.

Back in the day I was told consulting firms have GPA cutoffs.

I sure BCG and Bain do, but as an Ivy C student, I had offers from Accenture and Sapient

Big 4 has consulting as well. Network to find out the niche fields. My tenant was a 25 yr old with PWC strategy and he makes 175k.

Big 4 consulting divisions are laying off workers now.

[Anonymous]

I will never understand why people post multiple threads on the same story. Just update your old thread! So annoying.

June is not that late to still be unemployed. Your son needs to get over himself and his lofty Ivy ambitions and get a job.

Get a list of the vault top 200 law firms and apply for paralegal positions. It's not a great job, but it's white collar, and they hire recent college grads all the time.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't want to scare you. But my brother graduated from an Ivy with a poor GPA and an outsized sense of superiority, came back to my parents house, never got a job, and is still there. He is 45.

I'm the younger sibling and the one who taught for Kaplan -- I've always been open to all kinds of work, and In my twenties i did so many things -- waitressed in college, taught test prep, did unpaid internships, taught at a private high school. He always saw those things as beneath him and now he has accomplished literally nothing, whole I have racked up accomplishments and awards and etc. I'm just as "smart" but was never burdened by his sense of superiority. I also NEVER wanted to go back and live with my parents so was motivated by having to pay rent.

Push him out there door and make him do something to be support himself

[Anonymous]

I'm PP... My mom to this day insists on telling him that he is "so much more brilliant" than other people.🤮.

It's not helpful to the child at all to make them feel this way.

[Anonymous]

Judging by OP's failure to share her son's major or interests/desired career, it is easy to understand why OP's son son has not fared well in the real world.

OP: This is not the time to be secretive. When seeking help & guidance, you need to be more open.

[Anonymous]

He should be working with his school’s career services office. That’s part of what you get with tuition and having attended. He shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for help from his peers. But he should have a clear and form game plan and ask, not just a general “help me.” He should also look into why he didn’t do more to build up a resume during the summers and/or school year, and benefit from that introspection. He’s got a great credentials and he should feel good about that. He should also do some volunteer work while he’s trying to get his career started. With that free time he can do something worthwhile, help others, feel good about himself, feel engaged with something, and even have a little talking point for his resume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

+1
The other problem is that you are both assuming everyone got their internships and jobs from connections. This couldn’t be further from the truth, you are just grasping to the ones you know about. I worked on wall st for a while and did undergrad recruiting at my alma mater (everyone did). The kids going through the recruiting process were from across the board. Very few were connected and even when those ones were given summer internships, they often weren’t given full time offers. Many of the kids were first generation and/or from incredibly poor backgrounds. What they had was drive and ambition. I’m not saying your son can’t get there but stop feeding an attitude that it’s not his fault bc you’re not upper class or connected.
Your son needs to fill up that resume asap and craft a story. Did he not love his major? Then go to a local,even community, college and take a class in what he’s going to aim for. Take accounting or finance classes and get sn A. At the same time he needs a meaningful volunteer job. Tutor at a summer school or something. Then for the third concurrent thing he needs to get a job. It can be the bottom of the barrel but in the area he’s interested in. If he doesn’t know then work for a tutoring company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I graduated from a non-Ivy-but-a-peer-of-Ivies university and was in a similar boat. I graduated without a job during the GFC while many of my peers did, and it felt really, really crappy. I feel for your son. It isn't easy to be bumming around the house when it seems like everyone else is succeeding and working jobs that you feel you should've gotten as well. I also feel for you - dealing with that can't be easy, either.

After applying to 3-4 jobs/day for a few months, I eventually found an opportunity. It was humbling, and it was not at all what I thought I "deserved" (god, I was such a naïve sh!thead). I'm doing well now, so it's not a career-killer to graduate with a blank resume and without a job, unless your kiddo has his heart set on investment banking or something. But he may have to eat a bowl of sh!t and take that humbling first job in order to get his foot in the door somewhere else.

Don't ride him too hard about networking with friends. His peers - almost certainly 22-year-old sh!theads as well - have no pull at their places of employment, and unless he's really close to a friend who has a very high up parent, probably nothing is going to come from networking with parents. I know it's cold comfort, but it's not 1992 and the world doesn't work like that anymore (or I dunno, maybe having Harvard on the resume really is different).

Reaching out to the career center is probably a good idea. Your son is not the first graduate of their institution that didn't hit the ground running. At the very least, they should have some ideas on how to work around having a thin resume, and give some advice on writing a good cover letter to make up for it. They might even run mock interviews for young alums. Other than that, just keep applying. The job market is pretty tight right now.

Nephew also graduated from Duke and had similar difficulty finding a job despite a decent GPA in Public Policy & honored acouple of semesters as an athlete/scholar by the ACC. (Makes a good first impression due to polite, clean-cut, athletic appearance.) Then got a business related masters degree at Duke open to those with minimal post college degree work experience. Still no job prospects. After a year, landed a modest-paying position doing due diligence type work. After another two years, was able to land a modest paying position with a major employer in a non-lucrative industry.

Almost all of his college friends & teammates are wealthy & connected, but offered no help to nephew even though they continue to vacation together frequently.

Some big name prestigious schools still attract employers while others--including some Ivies & Duke--do not.

Another relative went to a top ten university (non-Ivy League). Mailed out a few resumes during a recession and received tremendous responses. Solid GPA, but not in sought after majors.

Relatives & friends who graduated from University of Georgia (not in Honors College) had an easy time finding employment in the Atlanta area. But they all were ready to accept employment regardless of whether the position was prestigious or not. Very level headed & determined individuals.

OP: Not sure what you should garner from my post. Just relaying experiences over the past decade. An Ivy League degree with an "abysmal GPA" and a barren resume, suggests that your son needs to get a job with any employer. Home Depot, Lowe's, Starbucks, service industry in a resort area, etc. There are plenty of jobs available--and employers know that--so do not let the resume remain barren much longer as being unemployed for a lengthy period often is viewed as a red flag by employers.

[Anonymous]

Besides temping, be open to applying for fall internships. Most places will take recent grads for internships. They can turn into a full time offer, as well as fill up your resume. They're also often less competitive than summer internships, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Besides temping, be open to applying for fall internships. Most places will take recent grads for internships. They can turn into a full time offer, as well as fill up your resume. They're also often less competitive than summer internships, too.

+1 and when applying for internships the resume should highlight any relevant school projects as "relevant experience." In the meantime, work a service job and include that. I hire interns, including new grads in Fall internships, and I never hire someone who has zero work experience. I don't want to be anyone's first job and I would assume an Ivy grad who would not lower themselves to working during summers has a chip on their shoulder and would be a liability in an internship where a lot of the work is typical entry-level grunt work.

[Anonymous]

So I went to an Ivy, got a degree in Political Science, and had a job offer lined up with one of the investment banks that went under--but that job offer disappeared by the time I graduated.

What happened is I ended up taking a temporary intern type job that eventually turned into a full time corporate job in data science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nephew also graduated from Duke and had similar difficulty finding a job despite a decent GPA in Public Policy & honored acouple of semesters as an athlete/scholar by the ACC. (Makes a good first impression due to polite, clean-cut, athletic appearance.) Then got a business related masters degree at Duke open to those with minimal post college degree work experience. Still no job prospects. After a year, landed a modest-paying position doing due diligence type work. After another two years, was able to land a modest paying position with a major employer in a non-lucrative industry.

Almost all of his college friends & teammates are wealthy & connected, but offered no help to nephew even though they continue to vacation together frequently.

Your nephew hangs out with the wrong crowd. My DS graduated from Duke recently with 2.9 GPA with a degree in communications as a student athlete. He got an offer in IB from one of his teammates whose father is a big shot at an IB shop. He also got another offer in consulting from another teammate whose father is an managing director of the consulting unit. It is all about connections. Going to Ivies or Duke by itself is not enough. You need connections to get those gravy jobs, unless you are an academic superstar. Even then, it is still tough without connections.