Any Ivy graduates here? Ivy League graduate son in a funk, humuliated, & remains jobless

[Anonymous]

He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything

OP, sounds like a humbling experience. In the long run, this will likely be good. He'll figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Reach out to career services today. Working to get an entry job through them will be better than just through indeed. He should also ask if there are alumni he can reach out to for some career counseling. Maybe they know of good volunteering or entry level things he could try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

How many 22 year old Ivy League graduates are minted each year? It is pretty rarefied air and some employers do actually pay a hefty premium to employ them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

How many 22 year old Ivy League graduates are minted each year? It is pretty rarefied air and some employers do actually pay a hefty premium to employ them.

This kind of stupid attitude is how he ended up where he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No matter your education, it's perfectly reasonable to take an entry-level professional job and then work your way up, and/or take a temp or job that doesn't require a college education while job hunting - and in this economy, he won't have much trouble. When I graduated decades ago, I spent about 4 months doing temp clerical work while looking for a permanent job. It was much better - financially, psychologically, and professionally - than job hunting full time.

But taking any job means you're not tapping the Ivy college resources and/or your Ivy network, which in theory should have access to higher paying dream jobs. And you're also creating more distance from your Ivy network instead of building a bond through the new job hunt and job offer. And without the network help, you may end up in a job that couldn't care less about the Ivy degree, if not have some contempt for you. It all seems a little shortsighted when there are employers who will pay a premium to add a [Dartmouth or whatever] graduate to their roster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

How many 22 year old Ivy League graduates are minted each year? It is pretty rarefied air and some employers do actually pay a hefty premium to employ them.

This kind of stupid attitude is how he ended up where he is.

No, pandemic-fueled depression and anxiety led to this.

[Anonymous]

What job does he want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

How many 22 year old Ivy League graduates are minted each year? It is pretty rarefied air and some employers do actually pay a hefty premium to employ them.

This kind of stupid attitude is how he ended up where he is.

No, pandemic-fueled depression and anxiety led to this.

No personal accountability classes offered at Ivy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

+1 and I say this as an Ivy grad myself. It's weird that you are looking for advice specifically from Ivy grads. You need advice from ppl whose kids didn't have summer job, low GPA etc. That's your pool too.

An Ivy grad who had great grades and applied to grad school or did a summer internship that led to a job after graduation is not going to be much help.

[Anonymous]

It’s very common to graduate from an Ivy League school without a great job — in fact I would say more common than not. He just needs to get any job he can and start figuring it out. Work for a bit, think about grad school, and work out whatever personal issues are holding him back and making him depressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

How many 22 year old Ivy League graduates are minted each year? It is pretty rarefied air and some employers do actually pay a hefty premium to employ them.

Random employers are not paying more to Ivy grads. Ivy and comparable schools have access to on campus recruiting from well paying employers, and networking opportunities while college is ongoing. That's where kids are getting these jobs that pay better than your avg college grad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

How many 22 year old Ivy League graduates are minted each year? It is pretty rarefied air and some employers do actually pay a hefty premium to employ them.

Not really true—or true only on certain specific majors and industries, like investment banking. If you think this, you are in for disappointment. For most HYP grads the job market looks pretty much like anyone else’s. The benefit is the quality of the education, your own efforts, and the peer group, not the job you walk into at 22. Most of my friends had crappy first (and second) jobs, but they’re doing great now, years later.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like more than a job-hunt issue - he sounds like he is struggling with mental health issues and feelings of failure.Which he is absolutely NOT. Can you get him in touch with a counselor or therapist to help halt the negative train of thoughts telling him he's a failure? I agree with the posts suggesting that he get out there and start doing something - even volunteering with a cause he cares about a few days a month. Does he have a church or synagogue community he can ramp up involvement with? Does he have local friends? Where are his college friends? Does he stay in touch with them or is his self doubt making him communicate with them less? Yes, absolutely reach out to the career counseling services available through his college. The fact that he got in and he graduated means he is very smart and very capable and has his whole life ahead of him - this brief although difficult chapter is just one part of a very long story he gets to write. Lots of people don't know what they're doing right out of college, and covid exacerbated that. Reality is that nobody is going to care what his gpa was down the road so help him see beyond that - he graduated and has a great degree. The world is waiting! Even getting a part-time job somewhere he'd enjoy - even if it's not in his career field - might help him structure his days a little and make him feel better to have some income coming in and a place to socialize. Maybe someplace like Home Depot or the Apple store? I understand they're both good employers and have a lot of young professional staff. Heck, a lot of restaurants are desparate for help and if he was waiting part time he could make some decent money, and so many people waitress or wait while figuring out their careers it's almost a trope! The most important thing is getting him mentally strong. It can feel like you're behind but he has so much going for him. If he just does one thing every day to move forward, he's going to be fine. Good luck to you and good luck to him. It can be hard seeing a loved one struggle. The fact he got in and graduated from an elite school during a very challenging historical period means he has grit and everything he needs to succeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

How many 22 year old Ivy League graduates are minted each year? It is pretty rarefied air and some employers do actually pay a hefty premium to employ them.

Random employers are not paying more to Ivy grads. Ivy and comparable schools have access to on campus recruiting from well paying employers, and networking opportunities while college is ongoing. That's where kids are getting these jobs that pay better than your avg college grad.

Correct. He needs to link with employers who will pay the premium.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

How many 22 year old Ivy League graduates are minted each year? It is pretty rarefied air and some employers do actually pay a hefty premium to employ them.

Random employers are not paying more to Ivy grads. Ivy and comparable schools have access to on campus recruiting from well paying employers, and networking opportunities while college is ongoing. That's where kids are getting these jobs that pay better than your avg college grad.

Correct. He needs to link with employers who will pay the premium.

Why didn't he think of that?? Sounds so easy! Thank you, Einstein.