Relatives who always want to bring their dog!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole “allergic to dogs” thing is completely overblown. It’s code for “I just don’t like being around dogs.” Which makes you zero fun.

And people who think allergies don’t exist are a walking joke. Do you also believe the earth is flat and vaccines cause autism?

YES! YES! And YES!

[Anonymous]

I can only commiserate. My ILs have had a dog since before I met them, they always travel with it. I am an animal lover and like dogs, though this particular dog is extremely needy and kind of mean, so not my favorite. I HATE that we basically cannot see them without the dog.

They also got mad at me years ago because I had a cat (had him for many years before DH and I met and moved in) and my cat and their dog did not get along well when they would visit. My FIL once told me I should board my cat when they came to visit so their dog could feel more comfortable at our house. Just the entitlement of this! I suggested that maybe they board their dog while they traveled instead of bringing the dog with them, and they felt this was an unreasonable imposition. I also suggested they stay in a pet friendly hotel when visiting, and while this is ultimately what they decided to do, they continued to complain about how unfair it was that they "couldn't" stay in our guest room with us. But of course they were welcome to stay, and even to stay with their dog, but they had to accept that I had a cat and the dog would need to be kept out of the cat's way to keep the peace. For some reason this was beyond them to understand.

I can't imagine adopting an animal and just assuming I'd be able to bring it with me wherever I go. They might be welcome some place but obviously not everywhere. A pet is not a child.

[Anonymous]

Hold firm, OP. Thankfully, our relatives who like to travel with their dog recently bought a camper van. They park the van outside our house, and the hangs out in the yard (on a tether) during the day and sleeps in the van at night. So, so much better for everyone. Maybe something like that could work here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anybody who has a problem with kids or dogs just sucks.

Weirdly broad statement. I love dogs and kids but I think it's presumptuous for someone to assume they could stay in another person's house with their dog. Like maybe it works out if they are dog lovers (and also like your specific dog) but also maybe it doesn't and you need to be prepared to go to a hotel or leave your dog at home.

Loving dogs (or kids) does not mean loving every single dog in every single setting. I wouldn't take my kid to a fancy restaurant known to be a good date night spot, or a crowded rock concert, or a quiet museum lecture. Because my kid would not enjoy those venues and would almost certainly be disruptive in a way that would make it less enjoyable for everyone else, too. And the same is true of dogs. They are great. They don't belong everywhere at all times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I like dogs, but not in my house. I am also allergic to dogs and have two cats, so I think I have a good excuse to not have dogs over.

The problem is that my in-laws and my parents LOVE their dogs, and they truly do not understand people like me. Oh well.

Cats are gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anybody who has a problem with kids or dogs just sucks.

Weirdly broad statement. I love dogs and kids but I think it's presumptuous for someone to assume they could stay in another person's house with their dog. Like maybe it works out if they are dog lovers (and also like your specific dog) but also maybe it doesn't and you need to be prepared to go to a hotel or leave your dog at home.

Loving dogs (or kids) does not mean loving every single dog in every single setting. I wouldn't take my kid to a fancy restaurant known to be a good date night spot, or a crowded rock concert, or a quiet museum lecture. Because my kid would not enjoy those venues and would almost certainly be disruptive in a way that would make it less enjoyable for everyone else, too. And the same is true of dogs. They are great. They don't belong everywhere at all times.

Hmm. I regularly take my eldest kid, currently 10, to all of those places.

[Anonymous]

My FIL and MIL bring their dog on every visit and it's super frustrating since the dog ends up taking about 85% of their attention. SIL just stayed with her decrepit old dog that took up 100% of her attention. And it peed and vomited everywhere, despite my strong efforts to get her to keep it contained and to recognize that I did not want our floors and rugs covered in biological material. I am done, done, done with dog visitors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can only commiserate. My ILs have had a dog since before I met them, they always travel with it. I am an animal lover and like dogs, though this particular dog is extremely needy and kind of mean, so not my favorite. I HATE that we basically cannot see them without the dog.

They also got mad at me years ago because I had a cat (had him for many years before DH and I met and moved in) and my cat and their dog did not get along well when they would visit. My FIL once told me I should board my cat when they came to visit so their dog could feel more comfortable at our house. Just the entitlement of this! I suggested that maybe they board their dog while they traveled instead of bringing the dog with them, and they felt this was an unreasonable imposition. I also suggested they stay in a pet friendly hotel when visiting, and while this is ultimately what they decided to do, they continued to complain about how unfair it was that they "couldn't" stay in our guest room with us. But of course they were welcome to stay, and even to stay with their dog, but they had to accept that I had a cat and the dog would need to be kept out of the cat's way to keep the peace. For some reason this was beyond them to understand.

I can't imagine adopting an animal and just assuming I'd be able to bring it with me wherever I go. They might be welcome some place but obviously not everywhere. A pet is not a child.

You can’t even bring your child with you wherever you go. Some people are so entitled. I can’t imagine the audacity of telling someone they need to board their own pet so my pet could stay comfortably in their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anybody who has a problem with kids or dogs just sucks.

Weirdly broad statement. I love dogs and kids but I think it's presumptuous for someone to assume they could stay in another person's house with their dog. Like maybe it works out if they are dog lovers (and also like your specific dog) but also maybe it doesn't and you need to be prepared to go to a hotel or leave your dog at home.

Loving dogs (or kids) does not mean loving every single dog in every single setting. I wouldn't take my kid to a fancy restaurant known to be a good date night spot, or a crowded rock concert, or a quiet museum lecture. Because my kid would not enjoy those venues and would almost certainly be disruptive in a way that would make it less enjoyable for everyone else, too. And the same is true of dogs. They are great. They don't belong everywhere at all times.

Hmm. I regularly take my eldest kid, currently 10, to all of those places.

Some people on this board have children much younger than 10 … presumably you didn’t take your eldest to these places as a toddler?

[Anonymous]

So many posters are talking about “assuming“ that you can bring your dog with you. I don’t “assume“ that I can bring my dog with me, ever. All I’m saying is that if you are the kind of person who wouldn’t allow it, then, you’re no fun. We have deliberately structured our lives and lifestyle so that dogs, kids, whatever are always welcome. We are welcoming, embracing people. That’s how we roll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re not allergic to their dog. You just hate dogs. Admit it.

You're such a jerk. I have a kid with a serious allergy to several animals. It causes asthma attacks. People die from them. You are an uneducated idiot.

PP didn’t say all allergies are fake. Just that OP’s are. Which they are, clearly.

NP. The OP can be allergic to dogs AND also not want the wear and tear a dog causes. Two things can be true at the same time. Make it three! Maybe OP just does't like dogs, as you all keep insisting. Stop calling OP a liar because YOU want to make OP the big bad villain here for not welcoming Fido like you demand she should.

OP CAN SAY NO.

Correct, all-caps screaming PP. I agree with you. She can and should say no. But you seem quite agitated about a post that was aimed not at OP but at the PPs who are so deeply invested in calling her a liar. That, not OP's ability to say no, was the point of the post.

She can say no for any reason she wants to. People calling her a liar need to get over themselves.

I don't understand all of the posts about people insisting on bringing their dogs. "No" should be the response for anyone who doesn't want a dog in their house. Even if it's one particular dog.

No need to crowd source.

[Anonymous]

i think visiting elderly mother - you could accommodate your husband's brother and sister in law in a pool house. If it were not family I would feel differently or if the purpose of the visit was more oriented to the visitors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think visiting elderly mother - you could accommodate your husband's brother and sister in law in a pool house. If it were not family I would feel differently or if the purpose of the visit was more oriented to the visitors

Sure, for BIL and SIL. The dog needs to go to a kennel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many posters are talking about “assuming“ that you can bring your dog with you. I don’t “assume“ that I can bring my dog with me, ever. All I’m saying is that if you are the kind of person who wouldn’t allow it, then, you’re no fun. We have deliberately structured our lives and lifestyle so that dogs, kids, whatever are always welcome. We are welcoming, embracing people. That’s how we roll.

Congratulations! As a parent and dog owner, me too. But I don’t assume everyone else has to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many posters are talking about “assuming“ that you can bring your dog with you. I don’t “assume“ that I can bring my dog with me, ever. All I’m saying is that if you are the kind of person who wouldn’t allow it, then, you’re no fun. We have deliberately structured our lives and lifestyle so that dogs, kids, whatever are always welcome. We are welcoming, embracing people. That’s how we roll.

Congratulations! As a parent and dog owner, me too. But I don’t assume everyone else has to do the same.

Oh my Lord that’s EXACTLY what I just said!