What would you do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, I actually texted her asking to chat about it. Stay tuned.

Freak.

You’re right, the friend is a freak — a supposed adult raised by wolves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update - I just couldn't stop thinking about it so I texted my friend. I think part of the issue is that I'd been having a stressful time lately, hadn't gone out to eat in ages, was really looking forward to the meal, and then my friend (who does not have my concerns) just callously swiped her fork through my dish and it felt symbolic of so much more.

So basically I texted her asking to meet up for a walk to discuss it. We're going to walk tomorrow and I will bring it up as an entree (no pun intended) into the bigger issues I see with her not being empathetic to what I have been dealing with in life lately.

You are obsessing and are projecting on your friend. If you really want to enjoy your enchiladas, just go get takeout, sit outside and just chill for a little bit. Hopefully this will let you calm down and ensure you don't lose a friend over something this petty.

WTF? No. You don’t need to “get takeout” to stop another adult from helping themselves to your food.

[Anonymous]

She was rude but that’s what overly sensitive people get for being so sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, it was rude of her. I understand why you couldn't say anything in the moment, but please speak up if it happens again. "I have a thing about sharing food. I prefer to serve you before I eat, so there's no accidental contamination."

You're not going to die if you catch an opportunistic bacteria or virus from her mouth. But you can get annoying things, like Herpes simplex. So, best to avoid.

- microbiologist

Okay, technically true, but I think anyone this fussy has no business eating out . Ever been in a restaurant kitchen? Do you share popcorn at the movies? Both of your hands were in the chip bowl, unless you asked for tongs. Are you immunocompromised? Your friend had bad manners but no way would I out myself as a parsimonious, uptight germaphobe by asking her to reimburse you for meal.

Sigh. DP, and I would eaten the lobster anyway, minus that small section, but surely you can understand that hands in popcorn/chips are different than using a fork that’s been inside your mouth.

Well, I suppose one of the differences is that hands are much more likely to have E. coli. Hands transmit a lot of bacteria and viruses and don’t have the enzymatic benefit of saliva.

[Anonymous]

I think it is crazy that you are thinking of charging her anything. Like CRAZY. Is she from another country? Because most countries are not so germs phobic as the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully this ends the friendship. You sound exhausting.

I am sorry to say this, but +100.

[Anonymous]

I would have stabbed her with my fork. It was the only thing that stopped a family member who liked to take my food with her fingers.

[Anonymous]

W T F. I would have dropped this friend. What terrible manners, especially post-pandemic!

[Anonymous]

Repeat after me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable sharing food that way. Going forward, I’m happy for us each to cut a piece of our dishes to exchange before we start eating if you’d like to share.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable sharing food that way. Going forward, I’m happy for us each to cut a piece of our dishes to exchange before we start eating if you’d like to share.”

Yikes, no one should ever repeat this.

"Hey, that's my dinner! I'm sorry you have menu envy, but I don't want your cooties on my food."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, I actually texted her asking to chat about it. Stay tuned.

Freak.

Why is this freakish? Sometimes it's good to be refreshingly honest and transparent with people.

Yes, sometimes it is, but not if in the process you reveal that you are a complete lunatic.

Yes, she was rude. It is way, way rude to bring it up a week later, and ask for her to pay for your entree. Good God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, I actually texted her asking to chat about it. Stay tuned.

Freak.

Why is this freakish? Sometimes it's good to be refreshingly honest and transparent with people.

Yes, sometimes it is, but not if in the process you reveal that you are a complete lunatic.

Yes, she was rude. It is way, way rude to bring it up a week later, and ask for her to pay for your entree. Good God.

+1. Friend was rude, but this is a batshit response.

[Anonymous]

She was gross, and wrong. I would have been really passive-aggressive about it, put my fork down and dumped my plate of food into hers. Then re-order another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your friend was completely wrong. You should have said something in the moment; you should have given it to her and asked her to buy you another one!

My mom was like this; she, too, would have missed out on the meal because she would have been unable to eat any of it. My brother completely inherited this mentality; he can't eat at buffets, can't eat after his wife or kids, just like my mom. I never drink after anyone and the only person I can eat after is my husband, but at least I would have been able to cut off the part that bothered me and enjoyed the meal. Sorry, OP.

I wouldn't have even cut out the part her fork touched. Stomach acid is a miraculous substance.

Yeah, your friend should have let you dictate the sharing situation - but no you cannot ask her to pay for the meal. Go get yourself another enchilada (assuming you can afford it) and bring a book, and enjoy the whole thing by yourself. Sorry this happened to you.

(I hate piling on - but is it possible you have a bit of anxiety that perhaps you could get a little help with, too? I do - and I've found talk therapy and some meds really help.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your friend was completely wrong. You should have said something in the moment; you should have given it to her and asked her to buy you another one!

My mom was like this; she, too, would have missed out on the meal because she would have been unable to eat any of it. My brother completely inherited this mentality; he can't eat at buffets, can't eat after his wife or kids, just like my mom. I never drink after anyone and the only person I can eat after is my husband, but at least I would have been able to cut off the part that bothered me and enjoyed the meal. Sorry, OP.

I wouldn't have even cut out the part her fork touched. Stomach acid is a miraculous substance.

Yeah, your friend should have let you dictate the sharing situation - but no you cannot ask her to pay for the meal. Go get yourself another enchilada (assuming you can afford it) and bring a book, and enjoy the whole thing by yourself. Sorry this happened to you.

(I hate piling on - but is it possible you have a bit of anxiety that perhaps you could get a little help with, too? I do - and I've found talk therapy and some meds really help.)

^ Just realized I missed the updates. How did it go with your friend?