DH pressuring me to make more money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why would he NOT ask her to do this? as the primary breadwinner, i'm exhausted and stressed all the time. op i'm sure you're happy bc you have a low stress life and part time job subsidized by someone else's labor. it's COMPLETELY fair enough that you shoulder some of the burden for a while.

She gave birth to their kids and does the primary caretaking. That alone would cost him 200k+ if not for her. Get real.

in what world would the primary caretaking of a single 10 year old child cost someone $200k a year?
pls give me the job of that nanny.

[Anonymous]

He wants to divorce you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why would he NOT ask her to do this? as the primary breadwinner, i'm exhausted and stressed all the time. op i'm sure you're happy bc you have a low stress life and part time job subsidized by someone else's labor. it's COMPLETELY fair enough that you shoulder some of the burden for a while.

She gave birth to their kids and does the primary caretaking. That alone would cost him 200k+ if not for her. Get real.

in what world would the primary caretaking of a single 10 year old child cost someone $200k a year?
pls give me the job of that nanny.

She’s taxed at the highest rate, so more than 50%. That gets her down to $95k net. To hire someone to drive the kids to sports and appointments will be at least 1/2 of that.

[Anonymous]

I'm usually not someone who calls troll, but there is no such thing as a $190k part-time federal attorney job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He wants to divorce you.

I'd divorce him and take him to the bank for 50% of the assets, college funds, and child support for the younger two kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your family need more money for? Has he discussed that? Based on the numbers you aren’t starving so maybe start there to figure out what this is really about.

Given that he’s gotten “mean” I have to wonder if he is staring down the barrel of child support/alimony calculations. Beware OP.

My thoughts exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm usually not someone who calls troll, but there is no such thing as a $190k part-time federal attorney job.

Someone above (not me) suggested that maybe she actually works four 10-hour days a week, which is full time. Maybe she's calling it part time if, in her mind, she's got one day "off" a week. But I agree, the salary and the fact she says it's WFH seems out of kilter. I think she's otherwise for real, though, and wish she'd come back to explain her job/salary thing that's making some of us scratch our heads.

A lot of people above are missing the fact the DH pulls in $1.4 million annually. The PPs insisting she should "shoulder the burden" as one said, etc. are missing that daddy is bringing home a lot of bacon, and OP's salary if accurate is very high for a lot of feds. So his pressuring her to earn even more seems suspect. It might be as dire as he's planning to leave, or it might be as sad as he's a secret spender or gambler with debts he knows are going to come crashing down on them soon. In her shoes I'd be checking the kids' college funds haven't been raided and asking him to explain his motivations for this pressure very clearly. Something's going on.

[Anonymous]

Could be FDIC job that pays off the GS scale.

The other details don't jive. Making $1.4M puts you in the top tax bracket. By doubling the OP's salary it won't make a noticeable impact on their total HHI.

This scenario is so sad, if true. This is clearly about something other than money. The question is, what it actually about.

So greatful that my DH values me and our life together, more than what money I make. DH makes 6-7 times more than me and is fine with whatever I want to do. I can quit tomorrow, if I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why would he NOT ask her to do this? as the primary breadwinner, i'm exhausted and stressed all the time. op i'm sure you're happy bc you have a low stress life and part time job subsidized by someone else's labor. it's COMPLETELY fair enough that you shoulder some of the burden for a while.

He should find a job that isn’t as exhausting and stressful then. They will do fine on $380k/yr.

It’s idiotic to have two people burning the candles at both ends in biglaw. I should know, we did it for a decade.

This. Even with a $190k gross income, that's just short of the $212k that would put an earner in the top 10%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make 190k working part time from home. DH makes 1.4M. We are both lawyers.
We both were in biglaw and I left when my oldest was born (he’s 19) and took this part time legal job that I like and is flexible. It’s a federal government job. We have three kids now and the youngest is 10. He would like me to return to a firm to make more money.
I repeatedly tell him that he doesn’t realize all that I do for the kids and their school and the house and pets and our lives generally and who would do it if I return to a firm? But he doesn’t get it.
The pressure is getting really really intense and has become quite aggressive and sometimes mean. It’s rough.

Good trolling! Love it!!

[Anonymous]

Male here. She takes care of his kids and house. If she keeps it fit and tight too, then he shouldn't complain if he's bringing in 1.4.

[Anonymous]

She brings home 190k and he complains. My college roommate is a SAHM married to a banker. She was a teacher when they met and was making $70k. This guy seems like a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why would he NOT ask her to do this? as the primary breadwinner, i'm exhausted and stressed all the time. op i'm sure you're happy bc you have a low stress life and part time job subsidized by someone else's labor. it's COMPLETELY fair enough that you shoulder some of the burden for a while.

She gave birth to their kids and does the primary caretaking. That alone would cost him 200k+ if not for her. Get real.

in what world would the primary caretaking of a single 10 year old child cost someone $200k a year?
pls give me the job of that nanny.

She’s taxed at the highest rate, so more than 50%. That gets her down to $95k net. To hire someone to drive the kids to sports and appointments will be at least 1/2 of that.

You should go back in time and slap whoever explained how taxes work to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why would he NOT ask her to do this? as the primary breadwinner, i'm exhausted and stressed all the time. op i'm sure you're happy bc you have a low stress life and part time job subsidized by someone else's labor. it's COMPLETELY fair enough that you shoulder some of the burden for a while.

She gave birth to their kids and does the primary caretaking. That alone would cost him 200k+ if not for her. Get real.

in what world would the primary caretaking of a single 10 year old child cost someone $200k a year?
pls give me the job of that nanny.

She’s taxed at the highest rate, so more than 50%. That gets her down to $95k net. To hire someone to drive the kids to sports and appointments will be at least 1/2 of that.

You should go back in time and slap whoever explained how taxes work to you!

DP but I do wonder what you mean. It’s reasonable to assign OP’s earnings to their top bracket. Any additional dollar certainly will be taxed from that bracket and that bracket alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why would he NOT ask her to do this? as the primary breadwinner, i'm exhausted and stressed all the time. op i'm sure you're happy bc you have a low stress life and part time job subsidized by someone else's labor. it's COMPLETELY fair enough that you shoulder some of the burden for a while.

She gave birth to their kids and does the primary caretaking. That alone would cost him 200k+ if not for her. Get real.

in what world would the primary caretaking of a single 10 year old child cost someone $200k a year?
pls give me the job of that nanny.

She’s taxed at the highest rate, so more than 50%. That gets her down to $95k net. To hire someone to drive the kids to sports and appointments will be at least 1/2 of that.

You should go back in time and slap whoever explained how taxes work to you!

DP but I do wonder what you mean. It’s reasonable to assign OP’s earnings to their top bracket. Any additional dollar certainly will be taxed from that bracket and that bracket alone.

That's not how the tax rates work. There are marginal tax brackets. 10% for the first 22k, 12% for 89k, etc.



The entire 100k would not be taxed at 22%.

So no, it's not reasonable to tax OP's earnings at the highest bracket. It's not reasonable to tax their entire HHI at the highest bracket.