DH pressuring me to make more money
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Anonymous
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I make 190k working part time from home. DH makes 1.4M. We are both lawyers.
We both were in biglaw and I left when my oldest was born (he’s 19) and took this part time legal job that I like and is flexible. It’s a federal government job. We have three kids now and the youngest is 10. He would like me to return to a firm to make more money. I repeatedly tell him that he doesn’t realize all that I do for the kids and their school and the house and pets and our lives generally and who would do it if I return to a firm? But he doesn’t get it. The pressure is getting really really intense and has become quite aggressive and sometimes mean. It’s rough. |
Anonymous
| Step into his shoes, what are his reasons for advocating you to return FT? |
Anonymous
| Would a firm even take you? I doubt it. If I were you I’d work with a recruiter and prove him wrong that it’s even possible. |
Anonymous
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“I’ll be happy to continue this discussion as soon as you bring me a detailed plan showing how the following tasks will be covered. If it will be covered by a service, please include the cost and at least two reputable services to interview. If it involves hiring someone, please include the salary and three possible leads. Here are the tasks I take care of and would not be able to do with a big law job:
____ ____ ____ Etc |
Anonymous
| What does your family need more money for? Has he discussed that? Based on the numbers you aren’t starving so maybe start there to figure out what this is really about. |
Anonymous
Given that he’s gotten “mean” I have to wonder if he is staring down the barrel of child support/alimony calculations. Beware OP. |
Anonymous
| I can’t imagine any spouse saying this. Sounds like OP is a troll. |
Anonymous
I can’t imagine any biglaw partner really believing a longtime part-time government lawyer could waltz into a firm. So I agree. Sounds troll-ish to me. |
Anonymous
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This is a troll.
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Anonymous
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Troll. No big law partner is going to pressure his WFH spouse who works part time, makes 190k, and manages the kids and household go to a firm.
Also, part time government job for 190k? What agency offers that? Most attorneys top out at 176k. Maybe at one of the financial agencies if part time is four days out of five but that would be very rare. |
Anonymous
| Id like your part time job making $190 pls. I busy my butt for that much. |
Anonymous
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$190k part time attorney in federal government? There is no such thing. Dumb troll.
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Anonymous
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Oh geesh
Not a troll. I was trying to get advice without telling my actual friends cause it’s embarrassing but so much for that. Yes it’s 4 days out of 5. And not all government agencies top out at 176k. That’s just plain wrong. Nevermind I should have known better. Novice mistake. |
Anonymous
| speaking as someone who has been the breadwinner for years, with all the stress that brings, it's fair enough to ask the person who is 'happy' to 'swap' for a while. maybe your dh would like to b |
Anonymous
| I'm not usually of the typical DCUM paranoiac mindset but this is super sketchy |