Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship

[Anonymous]

Yep, that niece must not be "annoying to everyone," since she has a lot of friends, who probably don't find her annoying.

I don't understand why it's anybody's business if someone doesn't seem to want a long-term relationship.

[Anonymous]

Believe it or not, but some people still live closeted lives. I also know a few asexual people. Not that they don't crave companionship and love, but when most people are not asexual, it's harder to find a mate.

[Anonymous]

I'm attracted to men but most have been too sexual, harassing, mean, obnoxious, pathological liars and women buy every line they say. Some lie so much it's natural to them. I have seen these traits in boys since I was 8 then men as a grownup. My brother has been an ass to me and embarrassed me publicly since I was a teen. He's still an ass as a grownup. Bosses at work have been very touchy with eyes always on ass or boobs. Idk how any woman can find a decent guy whose not all the above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.

Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.

They must still be in their 20s.

A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.

There are plenty of gorgeous African American women that are single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Believe it or not, but some people still live closeted lives. I also know a few asexual people. Not that they don't crave companionship and love, but when most people are not asexual, it's harder to find a mate.

OP here. I’m gay and I have good gaydar so I don’t think the single women I’m talking about are gay. But asexual — maybe! I could see it but obviously I don’t want to ask if they’re not sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.

Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.

They must still be in their 20s.

A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.

There are plenty of gorgeous African American women that are single.

+1
odds aren't great for us (many of the goods are odd, and non-black men generally do not marry black women--not saying they are not attracted to us and that they do not respect us, but marriage is a different ball game)

[Anonymous]

I'm 51 and I've never been married. I've been proposed to (more than once) but never engaged. I've never lived with anyone romantically. I have had serious relationships, but I'd always get to a point where I just didn't see it going the distance. It's a shame because I do enjoy being partnered and I really enjoy sex. I have a ton of friends so my social life is very full without a partner. A partner would be nice, though, so I've decided to maybe put in more effort this year and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Also, if you're much over 35, there just aren't a ton of available guys out there in the wild to meet. Meeting people was easy before 35. After that? Soooo hard. I go out to bars/restaurants and the majority of guys are half my age. I do get hit on, but the guys hitting on me are usually 15-20 years younger and that's kind of weird.

The last few guys I went on dates with seemed cool but then literally talked about themselves the entire time, and never really asked anything about me. That's kind of a turnoff.

[Anonymous]

I'm a middle aged man and I've dated a few women like this. I don't exactly know why, but women like this are sometimes drawn to me.
I guess I'm respectful and easy to talk to. Every woman like this is unique, but I've noticed some common qualities in most of them.

First, they are very anxious and hate to have disorder in their lives. They are not only good at work but they are good in a very particular way. They get lots of things done and their bosses love to pile on more work. Their personal lives are orderly too.

Second, and this is related, they dread messy breakups. They especially fear being dumped themselves.

Third, they tend to keep their sexual feelings under wraps. If they are comfortable they can be very passionate in bed but they don't spend much time thinking about or wanting sex. They don't feel the need to touch themselves much, if ever. And when they actually feel physically passionate they may be embarrassed about it or feel very vulnerable about it.

Fourth, they are usually viscerally repulsed by idiotic male traits (being pompous, etc.).

I know this describes quite a few women but I've seen these qualities a lot in beautiful women who have had very few romantic experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a middle aged man and I've dated a few women like this. I don't exactly know why, but women like this are sometimes drawn to me.
I guess I'm respectful and easy to talk to. Every woman like this is unique, but I've noticed some common qualities in most of them.

First, they are very anxious and hate to have disorder in their lives. They are not only good at work but they are good in a very particular way. They get lots of things done and their bosses love to pile on more work. Their personal lives are orderly too.

Second, and this is related, they dread messy breakups. They especially fear being dumped themselves.

Third, they tend to keep their sexual feelings under wraps. If they are comfortable they can be very passionate in bed but they don't spend much time thinking about or wanting sex. They don't feel the need to touch themselves much, if ever. And when they actually feel physically passionate they may be embarrassed about it or feel very vulnerable about it.

Fourth, they are usually viscerally repulsed by idiotic male traits (being pompous, etc.).

I know this describes quite a few women but I've seen these qualities a lot in beautiful women who have had very few romantic experiences.

Why are these a problem that men and women can't overcome? Why would you want a lot of disorder, messy breakups, passion without emotional connection, or regular idiotic male or female traits?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend like this, she pretty much said she was asexual when we were in college, before anyone really used that term so much. She tried to date, was just not interested in anything sexual and is very happy not being in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a SIL who is 45 and never been in a relationship. I have no explanation and I have wondered what is going on in her head for years. She is Ivy League educated, great athlete, lots of friends, great family, well traveled, interesting career, and attractive. Are men intimidated by her? Are her standards too high? Or does she simply have no idea how to date? I am mystified by it.

Maybe she likes her independence and does not want to put with with a mediocre man's BS. This is not hard to figure out.

I could accept that if she attempted to date but didn’t meet anyone acceptable BUT she makes no attempt to put herself out there. It’s been 20 years since she expressed an interest in anyone. It has to be incredibly lonely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.

This is untrue. A lot of the prettiest women I know are single while some of the dumpiest women are paired up.

The former operate as if they are the prize and often they have some character or personality defect they are oblivious to, whereas dumpy women tend to know they are dumpy so they focus on being good people, being interesting etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a SIL who is 45 and never been in a relationship. I have no explanation and I have wondered what is going on in her head for years. She is Ivy League educated, great athlete, lots of friends, great family, well traveled, interesting career, and attractive. Are men intimidated by her? Are her standards too high? Or does she simply have no idea how to date? I am mystified by it.

Maybe she likes her independence and does not want to put with with a mediocre man's BS. This is not hard to figure out.

I could accept that if she attempted to date but didn’t meet anyone acceptable BUT she makes no attempt to put herself out there. It’s been 20 years since she expressed an interest in anyone. It has to be incredibly lonely.

To YOU, but if she wanted something different she would make an effort so presumably she is fine with the status quo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my sister in law. She just doesn’t put herself out there. It makes me wonder what the future looks like for her.

This is my sister. She’s in her 40s. Spends her weekends with our parents or her paired up high school friends. I think she’s given up and pretty much went back to being out parents’ little girl and is comfortable with that. It’s her life and choice but in the long run I don’t know what she’s going to do. I think she’s just very used to friends and family constantly accommodating her.