Is it really racist to wonder what color the baby's skin might be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Context matters.

This.
But op wants to play well this black person I like ( Chris Rock) says it's okay and no big deal so it's not.

I'm the OP and I couldn't care less about Chris Rock, didn't even watch the Netflix show and don't plan to. I did read what he said, though, and I agree with him that it was more likely an in law thing than a racist thing regarding the royal family. However, neither you or Chris Rock or me will actually ever know.

[Anonymous]

I am mixed race; all the kids in my extended family are mixed race; we talk about stuff (complexion, hair) like this all the time. It just depends on context and how common this is in your community. I can understand why someone would bristle at this question (i.e., if Camilla was asking this about Archie). But if it were my niece/nephew/grandkid it would be par for the course. Meghan is a bit of a hot house flower so she was very offended, and I get it. Eventually everyone will be mixed and we can all chill out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white women with a POC partner. I never once talked about or even considered what color his skin would be. I knew he'd be somewhere on the spectrum between me and him most likely which is like saying he could be letter E through V of the alphabet.

So then you DID consider it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their kids are 1/2 red head. Surely everyone was hoping the kids would have Megan's complexion. Who hopes their kid is a red head?

Sorry, I don't get the red head hate. It looks cool. Maybe the dislike is a throwback to olden times when people wanted to be more muted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Context matters.

This.
But op wants to play well this black person I like ( Chris Rock) says it's okay and no big deal so it's not.

I'm the OP and I couldn't care less about Chris Rock, didn't even watch the Netflix show and don't plan to. I did read what he said, though, and I agree with him that it was more likely an in law thing than a racist thing regarding the royal family. However, neither you or Chris Rock or me will actually ever know.

But there is evidence of past white racism toward Megan there, so it’s pretty obvious this is just more white racism.

Why wouldn’t it be?

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the south. While we were learning to sing red and yellow black and white they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world, we were also learning racism, not overtly but in various ways.

I don't think I am racist, but I'm sure there are many things I say or do unintentionally that would be hurtful to others. While I think it's normal to wonder who a child is going to resemble, I'm learning that some would consider that offensive and will try to change how I think and feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white women with a POC partner. I never once talked about or even considered what color his skin would be. I knew he'd be somewhere on the spectrum between me and him most likely which is like saying he could be letter E through V of the alphabet.

I find this very hard to believe that you never once thought about what your baby would look like before they were born. Surely, in your mind, you thought up various combinations. Considering it doesn’t mean it’s racist or negative.

[Anonymous]

Another quirk here is that green/blue eyes/ red hair are rare and recessive. People are giving slight preference to them because they're rare. Skin tones seem to be a mix of parents but with eye color, normally one person's eyes are chosen. Sure, sometimes wanting certain traits is racism, but in all white families I see it too. It's just more noticed when it's in biracial families.

[Anonymous]

I think Chris Rock is completely correct and think much of Markel's drama was overblown. I also wondered what my three kids would look like being married to a DH of another race and we often talked about it - particularly since my parents are also mixed race and my siblings and I look starkly different from one parent.

[Anonymous]

In no way did Chris Rock's show say that the royal family was not racist - he basically skewered them and Meghan while leaving Harry largely out of his remarks. Before you use his show as a defense for your own Meghan bashing you might want to watch that segment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In no way did Chris Rock's show say that the royal family was not racist - he basically skewered them and Meghan while leaving Harry largely out of his remarks. Before you use his show as a defense for your own Meghan bashing you might want to watch that segment

Megan is only criticized by racist bigot supremacists.

[Anonymous]

The question should really be whether it is abnormal to be racist about a baby’s skin color or features? No, unfortunately it is not. Meghan has her father’s nose that is said to be one of the most requested shapes in plastic surgeons’ offices. She straightens her hair. Nearly the whole world has internalized Western/White beauty standards. Do you think she was secretly hoping her child would have 4C hair and her mother’s broader nose? Nope, it I was just painful to experience such entitled, casual racism. Until fairly recently, more black models just looked like white women with full lips and a tan. It will take many, many years of media representation to counter colorism and I am not optimistic about the change.

[Anonymous]

It's actually not racists whatsoever.
wondering is not the same as discrimination, prejudice or antagonism.

[Anonymous]

Regular people? Maybe or maybe not. Depends

British Royal family?
Casusl racism is just part of the atoms that created them in the first place. Most of the modern ones cleaned up pretty well, but there are plenty of oldsters hanging around who believe in the "old ways and what's wrong with that?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think Chris Rock has it right, that was just inlaws being inlaws.

I mean, it's probably considered okay to wonder if the baby will get dad's curly hair or mom's blue eyes or grandmas lovely complexion or grandpas athletic build, etc etc, so why is it racist for anyone anticipating the arrival of a baby in the family to wonder what the skin might look like? In a mixed couple there are many possibilities and no way to know until the baby emerges.

I don't recall either M or H saying whoever speculated about that was implying that darker would be a problem, seems like they just assumed that was the intent. Maybe that's racist.

Curiosity is never racist.

What is racist is to judge people and babies based on their skin color.

White is good, brown is bad? Black is good, white is bad? Thinking this way is what is racist