Is it really racist to wonder what color the baby's skin might be?

[Anonymous]

I think Chris Rock has it right, that was just inlaws being inlaws.

I mean, it's probably considered okay to wonder if the baby will get dad's curly hair or mom's blue eyes or grandmas lovely complexion or grandpas athletic build, etc etc, so why is it racist for anyone anticipating the arrival of a baby in the family to wonder what the skin might look like? In a mixed couple there are many possibilities and no way to know until the baby emerges.

I don't recall either M or H saying whoever speculated about that was implying that darker would be a problem, seems like they just assumed that was the intent. Maybe that's racist.

[Anonymous]

Context matters.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s normal? Didn’t see the Chris Rock skit, but I’m married into a family that has dark skin (not being specific on purpose!), and they wondered how our babies would look. We all did! It’s natural to be curious! Now if it’s a racist family and they’re making cutting remarks that’s a different story.. context matters like the other PP said.

[Anonymous]

It's not racist to wonder about it, but it IS racist to think that certain shades/features are preferable or better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think Chris Rock has it right, that was just inlaws being inlaws.

I mean, it's probably considered okay to wonder if the baby will get dad's curly hair or mom's blue eyes or grandmas lovely complexion or grandpas athletic build, etc etc, so why is it racist for anyone anticipating the arrival of a baby in the family to wonder what the skin might look like? In a mixed couple there are many possibilities and no way to know until the baby emerges.

I don't recall either M or H saying whoever speculated about that was implying that darker would be a problem, seems like they just assumed that was the intent. Maybe that's racist.

You don’t get it. That’s ok. Not everyone has the experience or the understanding to grasp subtleties when it comes to racism and colorism and even the influences of colonialism that color (ha!) quite a few things, often in deeply disturbing ways.

Chris, who has bolstered his career denigrating Black women does get it. He makes his paycheck catering to people who like applauding what he has to say. Obviously I’m not one of them. His movie “Good Hair” was more than enough.

What do you know about what Meghan and Harry “assumed”? If you want to take the comments about the baby on face value, why change up and assume that you know what “they just assumed” when it comes to Meghan and Harry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s normal? Didn’t see the Chris Rock skit, but I’m married into a family that has dark skin (not being specific on purpose!), and they wondered how our babies would look. We all did! It’s natural to be curious! Now if it’s a racist family and they’re making cutting remarks that’s a different story.. context matters like the other PP said.

I’m dark skinned Hispanic and my husband is white. We all wondered who skintone our kids would take but it wasn’t in a negative context, so I agree that context matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not racist to wonder about it, but it IS racist to think that certain shades/features are preferable or better.

Like being proud of your baby's blue eyes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s normal? Didn’t see the Chris Rock skit, but I’m married into a family that has dark skin (not being specific on purpose!), and they wondered how our babies would look. We all did! It’s natural to be curious! Now if it’s a racist family and they’re making cutting remarks that’s a different story.. context matters like the other PP said.

I’m dark skinned Hispanic and my husband is white. We all wondered who skintone our kids would take but it wasn’t in a negative context, so I agree that context matters.

+1 DH and I are both POC but different races. We wondered about it and we talk about it (kids are little and their appraisal changing and they look different from each other). It's not in a bad way. But I recognize it can be.

The Oprah reaction to Meghan's "revelation" was so orchestrated. And Harry recanted the claim that it was racist in his Bradby interview, now that he's discovered the new jargon of "unconscious bias."

[Anonymous]

I have a Japanese friend who married a blonde curly hair American guy with blue eyes. Beautuful unique children with muted Japanese traits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not racist to wonder about it, but it IS racist to think that certain shades/features are preferable or better.

Like being proud of your baby's blue eyes?

Yes, exactly that (which is racist and super weird). Wondering about it in terms of curiosity (like I wonder if s/he's going to get mommy's nose! daddy's bone structure!) is fine and normal. But hoping for certain light features is messed up and weird. And I say this as someone who grew up in a biracial family (white with blue eyes, and brown Asian).

[Anonymous]

Speaking as a mixed-race person, whose relatives wondered out loud what I would look like, it can be racist... or not. It depends on the person wondering, doesn't it? None of my relatives' comments were mean-spirited, but some of them clearly showed they were entirely ignorant of my darker-skinned parent's culture, and confusing it with all sorts of other cultures - because to them, all non-whites go in the same category Today, they'd be cancelled as insensitive racists, but back in the 80s, they were just ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not racist to wonder about it, but it IS racist to think that certain shades/features are preferable or better.

Like being proud of your baby's blue eyes?

"Proud" is a buy weird

Thinking they are beautiful is fine and normal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a Japanese friend who married a blonde curly hair American guy with blue eyes. Beautuful unique children with muted Japanese traits.

Great example. This contribution, in the context of this thread, is racist!

[Anonymous]

OP do you have a link to the skit (or can you say where it's from?) Haven't seen it.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, if one side of the family are uggos, I'm rooting for the other set of features lol.