Is it really racist to wonder what color the baby's skin might be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP do you have a link to the skit (or can you say where it's from?) Haven't seen it.

Chris Rock's "Selective Outrage" on Neflix. He does a number of Harry and Meghan being outraged about everything.

[Anonymous]

What mixes have the least deviation from their own race? I assume mixes of two people with highly drastically different (ie black and white) would have the greatest change, but what would be the least change?

[Anonymous]

I am from a white family and my granddaughter had a baby whose father is black. When the baby was born I was surprised it just looked like a white baby. My daughter told me, don't worry it will darken up. I showed a pic of the baby to a black friend at work and she said the same thing, it will darken up.

The thing is, I had been looking forward to this baby having some characteristics of her father because he is so handsome and his skin is just beautiful. I was disappointed that she just looked a lot like her mom did as a baby, a beautiful white baby, but I had hoped for the best of both parents.

A few years later and my granddaughter's skin is a little darker and she does look a lot like her father as well as her mother. It doesn't really matter, I love everything about her, but it does sometimes occur to me that racism can be a very difficult thing to recognize and define and I wonder if my attitude when she was born was a little racist in a weird kind of way.

[Anonymous]

Wondering is fine, but sometimes the wonder comes across as obsessive concern vs. curiosity. This happened with my former ILs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Context matters.

Not really. It’s racist or it’s not.

In OPs case it’s clearly racist.

[Anonymous]

I agree that context matters and that Chris Rock is correct that the comment can be made in a benign, normal, in-law chatter way. It's normal to wonder what eye/skin tone/hair color kids will have. Especially since Meghan is quite fair for a woman of African ancestry, but her mother is dark, which means the kids could really be anywhere on the spectrum. I'd need to see more evidence before we convict Camilla.

[Anonymous]

Skin color is nothing.
I worried if my babies would be unattractive but I dared not express it.

But really, there is no point talking about any of this because it does not affect the outcome in any way. You work with what you've got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:not racist. Mixed family here and we wondered.

BUT, if the (already confirmed) racist side is expressing that sentiment, yes it's racist.

So basically only white people can't do it?

There are some things that certain groups of people can’t do because of their history of bigotry and otherism against Black people.

Do you also want to be able to say the N-word?

You people are ridiculous.

Who should use the N-word?

[Anonymous]

I'm a white women with a POC partner. I never once talked about or even considered what color his skin would be. I knew he'd be somewhere on the spectrum between me and him most likely which is like saying he could be letter E through V of the alphabet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:not racist. Mixed family here and we wondered.

BUT, if the (already confirmed) racist side is expressing that sentiment, yes it's racist.

So basically only white people can't do it?

I'm the person to whom you are responding and I am white, so no.

[Anonymous]

Their kids are 1/2 red head. Surely everyone was hoping the kids would have Megan's complexion. Who hopes their kid is a red head?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their kids are 1/2 red head. Surely everyone was hoping the kids would have Megan's complexion. Who hopes their kid is a red head?

Oof.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend whose son (Indian) married a woman of Hispanic descent.

At the baby shower, Benjamin Moore paint chips were passed out so folks could guess the baby's skin color. Everyone was happy to welcome the baby, and love him/her whatever complexion.

It seemed pretty harmless at the time, maybe 15 years ago.

Indian here and the first to admit how colorist our culture is. But I'm not getting why this is any different from games like guessing the baby's weight and hair/eye color that I've seen at white baby showers. Presumably skin color was the only likely variable in the Indian-Hispanic case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Context matters.

This.
But op wants to play well this black person I like ( Chris Rock) says it's okay and no big deal so it's not.

[Anonymous]

Chris Rock started with...the royal family is racist.

Then he went to black people are racist too.

That's with reading in between the lines, but he also isn't wrong.