21-year-old DS has launched and I'm so sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really understand. You can visit him anytime. You don’t have to worry about exams, or homework or waiting until spring break.

Most kids these days get some work from home so no PTO needed.

Get an Airbnb at a ski resort and spend the week, he can work during the day.

Not everyone has, or wants, a remote job. He’s in a laboratory.

Does he lab work require him to be there 24x7 and weekends? Visit do fun stuff on the weekends, dinners in the evening. What’s keeping you?

He’s 3 hours away, has a full social life and I do not want to be monopolizing his free time. He was home for New Years, it’s not like I don’t see him. I’m just expressing my surprise at how sad I felt not knowing the next time he’d be “home.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be concerned that he only has one week of PTO.

My ds (22) has 5 weeks PTO, but is working 70+ hours/week at the moment.

Sorry your kid isn’t enjoying his 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really understand. You can visit him anytime. You don’t have to worry about exams, or homework or waiting until spring break.

Most kids these days get some work from home so no PTO needed.

Get an Airbnb at a ski resort and spend the week, he can work during the day.

Yikes.

Not yikes they work all day and spend the evening together. Are you 80 years old?

WFH is totally different from being off work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really understand. You can visit him anytime. You don’t have to worry about exams, or homework or waiting until spring break.

Most kids these days get some work from home so no PTO needed.

Get an Airbnb at a ski resort and spend the week, he can work during the day.

Not everyone has, or wants, a remote job. He’s in a laboratory.

Does he lab work require him to be there 24x7 and weekends? Visit do fun stuff on the weekends, dinners in the evening. What’s keeping you?

Why are assuming OP doesn’t work full-time?

[Anonymous]

You go visit him now. Stay in a hotel. Ask him when it is convenient to come for the weekend. Offer to take him out to dinner. He's a grown man. Be glad and thankful he made it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really understand. You can visit him anytime. You don’t have to worry about exams, or homework or waiting until spring break.

Most kids these days get some work from home so no PTO needed.

Get an Airbnb at a ski resort and spend the week, he can work during the day.

Not everyone has, or wants, a remote job. He’s in a laboratory.

Does he lab work require him to be there 24x7 and weekends? Visit do fun stuff on the weekends, dinners in the evening. What’s keeping you?

Why are assuming OP doesn’t work full-time?

I’m OP. I do work full time. Not remote.

I’m honestly surprised at people implying my sadness is because I’m not putting in enough effort. It’s like they’ve never missed their own kids before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be concerned that he only has one week of PTO.

My ds (22) has 5 weeks PTO, but is working 70+ hours/week at the moment.

Sorry your kid isn’t enjoying his 20s.

Sorry your kid doesn’t have a career.

[Anonymous]

Op, you have weekends. Visit him! Even 1 meal together will be very worthwhile.

This is the start of an adult relationship. Give and take. Do not assume he needs to come to you.

[Anonymous]

Our 40 year old neighbor has yet to launch...I feel sad for him and his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry. Life has a new path. Go down the new path to see what is waiting for you.

I think this is the right mentality. You are lucky, you have no idea. You’ll see your kid. The excitement of adventure awaits. Time to refocus on you!

[Anonymous]

I have four adult children ranging from 29 years old to 22 years old. The 29 years old moved out fours years ago after saving up enough money to purchase his condo in cash. The 28 years old moved out three years ago after saving enough money to purchase his townhouse in cash. The 24 and 22 years old are still living at home to save money before moving out. All of my adult children are still hanging out with me on either Saturday or Sunday for a round of golf. Both the 29 and 28 years old are engaged but they still bring their fiances to hang out with my wife and I on weekends for golf. I suspect that will change once they get married. My wife gets along great with their fiances and they already said that they will accept our help with grandkids. I am happy that all of my kids are living within a few minutes from us and we get to hang out with them on most weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thinking of a 22 YO who died this week and wondering if you understand how lucky you are. Maybe try to feel the gratitude and joy more than the sadness?

Stop it. OP is entitled to her feelings and they are no less valid just because someone else experienced a terrible tragedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be concerned that he only has one week of PTO.

My ds (22) has 5 weeks PTO, but is working 70+ hours/week at the moment.

Sorry your kid isn’t enjoying his 20s.

Seriously. WTF is wrong with some of you people?

[Anonymous]

I remember saying I would be sadder if my child didn't launch when it was time for him to go of to college... I think the same applies to once they graduate- sadder if they decided to live at home for years (I think it's perfectly fine to spend a year or two back at home but then they should launch for many reasons).
Make it fun- plan a visit here and there for a night or two and take them out, get tickets to event, etc. you'll see them and continue to create memories together. Also, maybe set up a facetime call for Sunday afternoons or something? We have technology to keep in touch that we didn't have when I graduated and moved away....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have four adult children ranging from 29 years old to 22 years old. The 29 years old moved out fours years ago after saving up enough money to purchase his condo in cash. The 28 years old moved out three years ago after saving enough money to purchase his townhouse in cash. The 24 and 22 years old are still living at home to save money before moving out. All of my adult children are still hanging out with me on either Saturday or Sunday for a round of golf. Both the 29 and 28 years old are engaged but they still bring their fiances to hang out with my wife and I on weekends for golf. I suspect that will change once they get married. My wife gets along great with their fiances and they already said that they will accept our help with grandkids. I am happy that all of my kids are living within a few minutes from us and we get to hang out with them on most weekends.

How is this helpful to OP?