Would you leave a toddler with a nanny overnight for 5 days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you ever watched your child on your own for 5 days straight? I don’t know how you could say it’s not burdensome. When I was a SAHM and DC was 18 months, DH went on a week-long business trip. DC is an “easy” kid and at that point slept 7:30-7 and took a 2.5 hour nap every day. I was already used to being primary caregiver because of being SAH, but that was SUCH a long week. You are always “on” and even when DC is sleeping, there’s always something to take care of because there’s no one else to pick up the slack. I have so much respect for single parents now.

To answer your question, no, I would not do this. I think it’s too long for your nanny and your kid. Go for a weekend or something.

+1
And if it's your kid, you can take them along and run whatever errands you need, have a friend over in the evenings, etc. And you get to take care of your own household stuff. Your nanny can't do that (and even if she could, do you want her carting your kid all over so she can do her own stuff? Or having friends over to your home?). I think it's too much, in addition to being away from a very young child for longer than I'd be comfortable with. I'd do an overnight or two; not a whole week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5 days of watching a toddler by oneself is HARD! You are really minimizing what the nanny has to do. I think you an expect the nanny meeting up with her family & friends and/or taking the child to her place, etc. because 5 straight days with just a toddler is crazy making.

In fairness, lots of moms do it all the time with multiple kids. I WOHM full time and if I had a week, I would want to spend at least some significant part of it with my child and as a family since I don't see them as much as I'd like to.

[Anonymous]

That’s too long to be away from a toddler, for the child’s emotional health.

-school psychologist

[Anonymous]

I don't leave my kids overnight until they're at least 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 days of watching a toddler by oneself is HARD! You are really minimizing what the nanny has to do. I think you an expect the nanny meeting up with her family & friends and/or taking the child to her place, etc. because 5 straight days with just a toddler is crazy making.

In fairness, lots of moms do it all the time with multiple kids. I WOHM full time and if I had a week, I would want to spend at least some significant part of it with my child and as a family since I don't see them as much as I'd like to.

Yeah but it's different when it's your own kid. The nanny is going to have to be dealing with a child whose schedule and comfort is disrupted.

This just feels wrong to me. First, you definitely need to pay the nanny for every single hour, 24 hours a day. Doing otherwise is exploitative. Would the nanny even want to do this? Because no way would I gave agreed to this back when I was doing childcare.

But also leaving your kid like that for that long feels off.

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone freaking out about being alone with a toddler for 5 days? As a single mom, I’ve been alone with multiple toddlers for as long as they were toddlers, and every other age. Yes they had daycare (now school) because I work to support us, but work isn’t a ‘break’, and I’m alone with them otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 days of watching a toddler by oneself is HARD! You are really minimizing what the nanny has to do. I think you an expect the nanny meeting up with her family & friends and/or taking the child to her place, etc. because 5 straight days with just a toddler is crazy making.

In fairness, lots of moms do it all the time with multiple kids. I WOHM full time and if I had a week, I would want to spend at least some significant part of it with my child and as a family since I don't see them as much as I'd like to.

Yeah but it's different when it's your own kid. The nanny is going to have to be dealing with a child whose schedule and comfort is disrupted.

This just feels wrong to me. First, you definitely need to pay the nanny for every single hour, 24 hours a day. Doing otherwise is exploitative. Would the nanny even want to do this? Because no way would I gave agreed to this back when I was doing childcare.

But also leaving your kid like that for that long feels off.

Yeah that's why the nanny is paid. It isn't her child. Everything is different when it is your own kid. I'd pay extra for that kind of task for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 days of watching a toddler by oneself is HARD! You are really minimizing what the nanny has to do. I think you an expect the nanny meeting up with her family & friends and/or taking the child to her place, etc. because 5 straight days with just a toddler is crazy making.

In fairness, lots of moms do it all the time with multiple kids. I WOHM full time and if I had a week, I would want to spend at least some significant part of it with my child and as a family since I don't see them as much as I'd like to.

Yeah but it's different when it's your own kid. The nanny is going to have to be dealing with a child whose schedule and comfort is disrupted.

This just feels wrong to me. First, you definitely need to pay the nanny for every single hour, 24 hours a day. Doing otherwise is exploitative. Would the nanny even want to do this? Because no way would I gave agreed to this back when I was doing childcare.

But also leaving your kid like that for that long feels off.

Yeah that's why the nanny is paid. It isn't her child. Everything is different when it is your own kid. I'd pay extra for that kind of task for sure.

Back when I was providing childcare there's really no amount of money that would make me agree to this.

And, yes, I've been alone with my own kid for a few days when my kid's daycare was closed during COVID and my husband had to go on a work trip.

It just isn't remotely the same level of work or exhaustion. Don’t compare overnight with your own kid with caregiving.

[Anonymous]

I think some of the judgmental comments are coming from jealous moms who can't afford a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is going to grow up thinking their nanny is their mommy.

You sound so full of judgment....very insecure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some of the judgmental comments are coming from jealous moms who can't afford a nanny.

I was thinking the same thing. Or have never had a nanny and just can’t understand how it’s different from a random sitter you get for your bimonthly date night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 days of watching a toddler by oneself is HARD! You are really minimizing what the nanny has to do. I think you an expect the nanny meeting up with her family & friends and/or taking the child to her place, etc. because 5 straight days with just a toddler is crazy making.

In fairness, lots of moms do it all the time with multiple kids. I WOHM full time and if I had a week, I would want to spend at least some significant part of it with my child and as a family since I don't see them as much as I'd like to.

Yeah but it's different when it's your own kid. The nanny is going to have to be dealing with a child whose schedule and comfort is disrupted.

This just feels wrong to me. First, you definitely need to pay the nanny for every single hour, 24 hours a day. Doing otherwise is exploitative. Would the nanny even want to do this? Because no way would I gave agreed to this back when I was doing childcare.

But also leaving your kid like that for that long feels off.

Yeah that's why the nanny is paid. It isn't her child. Everything is different when it is your own kid. I'd pay extra for that kind of task for sure.

Back when I was providing childcare there's really no amount of money that would make me agree to this.

And, yes, I've been alone with my own kid for a few days when my kid's daycare was closed during COVID and my husband had to go on a work trip.

It just isn't remotely the same level of work or exhaustion. Don’t compare overnight with your own kid with caregiving.

Okay well everyone is different? A lot of people would jump at the chance to make so much money taking care of a kid they love. When I was a nanny a job like that would have paid my rent for two months probably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some of the judgmental comments are coming from jealous moms who can't afford a nanny.

I was thinking the same thing. Or have never had a nanny and just can’t understand how it’s different from a random sitter you get for your bimonthly date night.

Yes. Especially the ones who are like that’s soooo much work no nanny would ever want to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you to those who had serious feedback. My mom is is willing to help again if necessary, but it's not her preference. I don't think it would be overly burdensome to the nanny. My kid sleeps 8pm -7:30am and takes a 2 hour nap. It's M-F so it would be the normal working hours, plus overtime. After we come home, she'd be getting the weekend plus Monday off. She is young and energetic, and routinely does weekend babysitting for another family beyond her FT work with us, so it's more an issue of personal comfort than the hours.

Our nanny said she'd like to do the overnight. I 100% trust her to be safe and follow our rules. It's just a fear that something out of her control could happen and I'd have to wait for a flight to become available. The destination is non-negotiable; either we go on this trip 4 hours away without DC, or we don't take a trip at all this winter. Our nanny would like to go on this trip with us, but DH does not want to fly with DC until she is older. He wants to go on this trip too, but he would also be satisfied with continuing to just vacation locally with DC in warmer weather.

If 3 adults can’t handle flying with one 18 month old, then you’ve got bigger problems

I kind of agree with this poster. If you’re going to be paying the nanny anyway and she wants to come on the trip, wouldn’t that be the easiest solution? She can still be the primary caregiver but you’re near in case of an emergency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some of the judgmental comments are coming from jealous moms who can't afford a nanny.

Lol. I'm the former SAHM who posted above about watching her kid alone for a week. I now have a nanny. DC adores her and she is incredible. I still would not leave DC alone with her for 5 days.