Would you leave a toddler with a nanny overnight for 5 days?

[Anonymous]

Poor kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are considering going on a romantic vacation without our 18 month old. It would be a 4 hour flight away. Her nanny has been working for us for a year, and DH feels comfortable having her stay at our house with DC by herself. In the past, she did a 2 day overnight with my mom here, and that went very well. My mom is no longer an option, so our nanny would need to provide solo care for any future child-free trips. Our nanny is very reserved so I don't feel like I really know her, and that gives me pause. I have no reason not to trust her, though. She's young, but mature with good judgment. And because she's very religious, I'm not worried about drugs/boyfriends/etc. Would you be ok with leaving a toddler behind with a nanny in this situation? Any ideas for what I could do that would make this feel better? I was thinking about setting up a wifi baby monitor in the play area so I could just check in once in a while, and a daily facetime. FWIW I also feel nervous when DH travels for work, leaving me alone with DC at night, so there is just a baseline level of anxiety.

Why do you feel nervous when alone with your child at night? Is it because you feel there is some danger? If so, why would you think nanny is not also in danger if she's there by herself?

If it's just because you aren't used to being with the child by yourself then I'd say you and your husband ought to take the child with you and spend more time with the child. You can get romantic when the child is sleeping, or hey, get another nanny at your romantic destination!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't feel comfortable with this, but I think lots of things can work. Why not have a grandparent come stay and have the nanny work normal or extended hours (as I'm assuming kid is too much for a grandparent to handle)?

Call me paranoid, but in the end a nanny is still an employee. And I say this as someone who has a very close relationship with former-nannies we've employed. It's a lot of liability to ask a non-relative to take on.

[Anonymous]

There is no way I would have left my young children for five days with anyone unless I was in the hospital. I can’t even begin to relate to this.

[Anonymous]

What about for a weekend? Fri-sun. 5 days is a lot.
Or have the nanny come with you and bring the baby.

[Anonymous]

I’ve done this for 2 nights with a babysitter - but it was during the week and my child went to daycare during the day. I think 24/7 care is a lot to ask and I liked the security of knowing daycare was expecting them each morning, etc.

It’s the combo of 5 nights + a non-family caregiver + 24/7 care that would give me pause. I’d shorten the trip or add a second caregiver.

[Anonymous]

Does the nanny get any break? 24-7 from when you leave until you come back?
How you, as the mother, ever done that?

[Anonymous]

Have you?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. Too long and you will be too far away.

I would go on a shorter, much closer trip, 2 nights max, and then give the nanny a paid day off (that doesn’t count as her vacation) when you return.

I would only feel comfortable leaving my child for that long with family, and even then I would arrange for extra help, like going while child is at preschool or having nanny help out a few hours a day

[Anonymous]

Just know the nanny will likely not stay at your home but go ahead and take the child to their house for part of the time and not tell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does the nanny get any break? 24-7 from when you leave until you come back?
How you, as the mother, ever done that?

That’s a very long time for an employee to work non stop.

I’m a mom and did it many times, but it’s different as a mom vs. nanny.

[Anonymous]

Why not just start with one night away and see how it goes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That would be too long for both me and my child, but that shouldn't stop you from going if it's right for your family.

+1

[Anonymous]

I hope you were planning to pay the nanny for the full 120 hours of work you would be asking her to do. Anyway I agree that is too much for one employee. You need multiple caregivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the nanny get any break? 24-7 from when you leave until you come back?
How you, as the mother, ever done that?

That’s a very long time for an employee to work non stop.

I’m a mom and did it many times, but it’s different as a mom vs. nanny.

Adding that 120 hours of nonstop work is excessive. Not only will she need to be paid for this entire time, including overtime, but she will need more than just a weekend to recover. So you’re looking at taking time off after your vacation so she can have at least three days off plus her weekend.