Would you leave a toddler with a nanny overnight for 5 days?

[Anonymous]

For me, a 4 hour flight would be too far. I’d something happened, it would take most of a day to get back. Can you do three nights a 2.5 hour flight away?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. Maybe in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. That’s abuse. Their brains can’t comprehend why you’re not there and what’s happening.

[Anonymous]

Thank you to those who had serious feedback. My mom is is willing to help again if necessary, but it's not her preference. I don't think it would be overly burdensome to the nanny. My kid sleeps 8pm -7:30am and takes a 2 hour nap. It's M-F so it would be the normal working hours, plus overtime. After we come home, she'd be getting the weekend plus Monday off. She is young and energetic, and routinely does weekend babysitting for another family beyond her FT work with us, so it's more an issue of personal comfort than the hours.

Our nanny said she'd like to do the overnight. I 100% trust her to be safe and follow our rules. It's just a fear that something out of her control could happen and I'd have to wait for a flight to become available. The destination is non-negotiable; either we go on this trip 4 hours away without DC, or we don't take a trip at all this winter. Our nanny would like to go on this trip with us, but DH does not want to fly with DC until she is older. He wants to go on this trip too, but he would also be satisfied with continuing to just vacation locally with DC in warmer weather.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely and lol at a poster calling it child abuse. Gtfoh. We have an ad-hoc sitter who's been with us going on 7 years. Four kids, 14, 10 and 4 year old twins. When we both worked and had to take trips at the same time, she filled in for overnight care very easily and no issues. Now that I don't work, she still covers overnights when we take a staycation or vacation us two only, longest being 6 days. I absolutely trust her with their lives. She's 35, with her own transportation, CPR certified, knows Heimlich, lives just a few miles away.

If you feel comfortable with her, go for it. I will say, full-time care can be a lot. All of mine are in school during the day so when she's covered longer than weekend stays, she gets the break during the day but seems like your nanny is wiling and able. And obviously, we pay her for all hours worked, sleeping or awake, let her order whatever food she wants and she has her own guest room and bath while over. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t sound like you fully trust the nanny, separate from the travel issue. It doesn’t matter if it’s warranted or not, your trust is not 100% there. When you totally trust a nanny/sitter, you know it. It’s a different feeling than “I have no reason not to trust her.” For that reason alone I wouldn’t do this. Five days is a long time. She will be taking your baby places she normally doesn’t and she will be tired.

[Anonymous]

Why on earth have a kid if all you want is to ditch them for "romantic" weeklong vacations?

Yes, I am judging hard over here, OP.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t.

[Anonymous]

Also, you are kind of minimizing the nanny’s effort/workload. It’s not just the childcare but also she will probably be taking your child back and forth to her place (she isn’t going to stay in your house the entire time), prep more meals, maybe watch him in an environment that’s not set up for him. She will be out of her routine too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you to those who had serious feedback. My mom is is willing to help again if necessary, but it's not her preference. I don't think it would be overly burdensome to the nanny. My kid sleeps 8pm -7:30am and takes a 2 hour nap. It's M-F so it would be the normal working hours, plus overtime. After we come home, she'd be getting the weekend plus Monday off. She is young and energetic, and routinely does weekend babysitting for another family beyond her FT work with us, so it's more an issue of personal comfort than the hours.

Our nanny said she'd like to do the overnight. I 100% trust her to be safe and follow our rules. It's just a fear that something out of her control could happen and I'd have to wait for a flight to become available. The destination is non-negotiable; either we go on this trip 4 hours away without DC, or we don't take a trip at all this winter. Our nanny would like to go on this trip with us, but DH does not want to fly with DC until she is older. He wants to go on this trip too, but he would also be satisfied with continuing to just vacation locally with DC in warmer weather.

Personally I'd bring the nanny on the trip with you.

Why doesn't your DH want to fly with DC? It's not like he'll be caring for her anyway since nanny will be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely and lol at a poster calling it child abuse. Gtfoh. We have an ad-hoc sitter who's been with us going on 7 years. Four kids, 14, 10 and 4 year old twins. When we both worked and had to take trips at the same time, she filled in for overnight care very easily and no issues. Now that I don't work, she still covers overnights when we take a staycation or vacation us two only, longest being 6 days. I absolutely trust her with their lives. She's 35, with her own transportation, CPR certified, knows Heimlich, lives just a few miles away.

If you feel comfortable with her, go for it. I will say, full-time care can be a lot. All of mine are in school during the day so when she's covered longer than weekend stays, she gets the break during the day but seems like your nanny is wiling and able. And obviously, we pay her for all hours worked, sleeping or awake, let her order whatever food she wants and she has her own guest room and bath while over. Good luck!

Some of us parent.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you White?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you to those who had serious feedback. My mom is is willing to help again if necessary, but it's not her preference. I don't think it would be overly burdensome to the nanny. My kid sleeps 8pm -7:30am and takes a 2 hour nap. It's M-F so it would be the normal working hours, plus overtime. After we come home, she'd be getting the weekend plus Monday off. She is young and energetic, and routinely does weekend babysitting for another family beyond her FT work with us, so it's more an issue of personal comfort than the hours.

Our nanny said she'd like to do the overnight. I 100% trust her to be safe and follow our rules. It's just a fear that something out of her control could happen and I'd have to wait for a flight to become available. The destination is non-negotiable; either we go on this trip 4 hours away without DC, or we don't take a trip at all this winter. Our nanny would like to go on this trip with us, but DH does not want to fly with DC until she is older. He wants to go on this trip too, but he would also be satisfied with continuing to just vacation locally with DC in warmer weather.

Are you serious? She would be working 100% of all of those hours. That is 120 hours that she is working and cannot take off. She is responsible for your child that entire time which means it is extremely burdensome whether or not you choose to see that because you want to go on a romantic vacation. If she can’t leave your baby at your home and go do whatever it is she wants to do by herself and she is working and it is a burden. Overtime is every single minute after her normal 40 hours which include sleeping time. Quit trying to justify it.