The secret world of emotional and verbal abuse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of people wallowing in self pity. No one has a perfect parent, not even you are a perfect parent and your children will have complaints about you.

Adults do not live in the past.

Do you not believe that trauma is a thing? That our early environments can impact us into adulthood? Because you would be wrong.

DP. Living in the past doesn’t help with healing. Recognize what you’ve been through, name it, and then find a way to move forward.

Well yeah. The problem with being traumatized is that it keeps you living in the past. It keeps impacting you until you are able to heal. But what do you think “recognizing what have have lived through” means? Just….never talking about it? Never complaining? No. Confronting the past, processing it, etc is part of what is required to move past it. This is not a fast process. If you want to call it “wallowing in self-pity,” fine, but you could also just say nothing.

And what is with these parents of adult children jumping in and lecturing people who complain about their childhoods? Unless you’re OP’s mom it’s bizarre to get so defensive.

Agree. Definitely seems like projection.

Except it's not project, at least in my case. You trying to dismiss concerns about your behavior is what's concerning.

PP, I typed 5 words. What is it you imagine I've done?

Anybody else starting to suspect some of these traumatized adult children are trolls?

No, but I believe the "pity party" Trauma llama" "stop living in the past" name calling posters are sh#t stirring low key narcissist who feel seen in some of the traumatized posters' stories. If you possess self awareness, you can change. Stop abusing your family members and keep your abuse off of this thread, please and thank you.

All these remote diagnoses, with their self-serving outcomes, don't bode well for the mental health of these posters.

Why does it make you feel good to insult others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of people wallowing in self pity. No one has a perfect parent, not even you are a perfect parent and your children will have complaints about you.

Adults do not live in the past.

Do you not believe that trauma is a thing? That our early environments can impact us into adulthood? Because you would be wrong.

I also believe that we can get over our trama(s) if we do choose. My older sister blamed me for our mother's death and used to beat the living daylights out of me. I made a choice many years ago that I could move on from her and problems.

Those who choose to live in the past have no future.

Lol *that* was your trauma? You think that because you got over that, people who from the time they were toddlers were constantly called horrible names by their parents, screamed at all the time, blamed for the parent’s problems, etc should just be able to “get over it” too?

That’s ridiculous and I don’t think you’re over your trauma. Go back to therapy.

Wow, just wow. I'm not that pp, but how dare you judge somebody else's trauma? And then you pile your faux diagnosis on top of it. Some of you are just pot-stirring a$$holes who make me sympathetic to the family members who have to deal with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, OP. I just don't have the energy to say all of the things but I hear you. I'm with you on this.

It's all so hard and to those that suggest therapy, I've been through over half a dozen therapists in 15 years and I've never felt like it did much. I'd just talk and talk for an hour and then it's like "see you next week!"

I've found much more relief from symptoms stemming from my childhood traumas and abusive marriage in yoga asana, breathwork and meditation. The Body Keeps the Score, mentioned above, has a really beautiful chapter related to this.

But I'd love to hear from others if I'm doing something wrong regarding talk therapy. I always felt like that couldn't be helpful for anyone so what is the appeal, exactly?

I’m the one who mentioned the body keeps the score. The author in the video I linked said that there are many ways of healing from trauma and everybody is going to need different things, but just having a relationship with somebody who is safe and nonjudgmental and can know our story and say “that was terrible what happened to you” can be really good. I don’t think it has to be a therapist but the vast majority of people are judgmental and minimize trauma. And then once you can sort of go back to that headspace while you are feeling safe, you can re-wire your body to realize that that was then and not now.

I have had very meh experiences with therapy but I’m trying again with somebody who is supposedly using a trauma-informed approach. I think he is helping me see how bad things really were, and of course we are going to do mindfulness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance exercises. But I imagine that I will need yoga and such too. I am glad to hear it worked for you. I have been meaning to get around to finding a way to practice and your comment is motivating.

Thank you for responding, it really warms my heart to hear that my suggestion motivated you.

I like your suggestion for a trauma-informed therapist. I also wanted to mention, since you seem so open to it, a dear friend of mine is getting a lot of relief through Somatic Therapy. I intend to try that once I'm able to financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of people wallowing in self pity. No one has a perfect parent, not even you are a perfect parent and your children will have complaints about you.

Adults do not live in the past.

Do you not believe that trauma is a thing? That our early environments can impact us into adulthood? Because you would be wrong.

I also believe that we can get over our trama(s) if we do choose. My older sister blamed me for our mother's death and used to beat the living daylights out of me. I made a choice many years ago that I could move on from her and problems.

Those who choose to live in the past have no future.

Lol *that* was your trauma? You think that because you got over that, people who from the time they were toddlers were constantly called horrible names by their parents, screamed at all the time, blamed for the parent’s problems, etc should just be able to “get over it” too?

That’s ridiculous and I don’t think you’re over your trauma. Go back to therapy.

Wow, just wow. I'm not that pp, but how dare you judge somebody else's trauma? And then you pile your faux diagnosis on top of it. Some of you are just pot-stirring a$$holes who make me sympathetic to the family members who have to deal with you.

Oh no don’t misunderstand. I am not judging her trauma in any way. That sounds terrible! But the idea that she went though what mostly likely is not nearly as traumatic as what others are going through, yet thinks that we can all just get over our traumas if we just “choose” is wrong.

I find it kind of wild that you would i chastise my comment not hers, by the way. She said our early environments should not impact our adulthoods and if they do, it’s just because we are choosing that kind of life. That’s a really cruel thing to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of people wallowing in self pity. No one has a perfect parent, not even you are a perfect parent and your children will have complaints about you.

Adults do not live in the past.

Do you not believe that trauma is a thing? That our early environments can impact us into adulthood? Because you would be wrong.

I also believe that we can get over our trama(s) if we do choose. My older sister blamed me for our mother's death and used to beat the living daylights out of me. I made a choice many years ago that I could move on from her and problems.

Those who choose to live in the past have no future.

Lol *that* was your trauma? You think that because you got over that, people who from the time they were toddlers were constantly called horrible names by their parents, screamed at all the time, blamed for the parent’s problems, etc should just be able to “get over it” too?

That’s ridiculous and I don’t think you’re over your trauma. Go back to therapy.

Wow, just wow. I'm not that pp, but how dare you judge somebody else's trauma? And then you pile your faux diagnosis on top of it. Some of you are just pot-stirring a$$holes who make me sympathetic to the family members who have to deal with you.

Oh no don’t misunderstand. I am not judging her trauma in any way. That sounds terrible! But the idea that she went though what mostly likely is not nearly as traumatic as what others are going through, yet thinks that we can all just get over our traumas if we just “choose” is wrong.

I find it kind of wild that you would i chastise my comment not hers, by the way. She said our early environments should not impact our adulthoods and if they do, it’s just because we are choosing that kind of life. That’s a really cruel thing to say.

Stop it. She said her sister "beat the living daylights out of me" and your response is: "Lol *that* was your trauma?" and then you nastily recommended more therapy for her. Ugh.

Again, you shouldn't be getting into the "my trauma is worse than your trauma" game. Nor should you be delivering your unprofessional diagnoses over the interwebs.

While I have tons of compassion for most people on this thread, in your case I'll save my compassion for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of people wallowing in self pity. No one has a perfect parent, not even you are a perfect parent and your children will have complaints about you.

Adults do not live in the past.

Do you not believe that trauma is a thing? That our early environments can impact us into adulthood? Because you would be wrong.

I also believe that we can get over our trama(s) if we do choose. My older sister blamed me for our mother's death and used to beat the living daylights out of me. I made a choice many years ago that I could move on from her and problems.

Those who choose to live in the past have no future.

Lol *that* was your trauma? You think that because you got over that, people who from the time they were toddlers were constantly called horrible names by their parents, screamed at all the time, blamed for the parent’s problems, etc should just be able to “get over it” too?

That’s ridiculous and I don’t think you’re over your trauma. Go back to therapy.

Wow, just wow. I'm not that pp, but how dare you judge somebody else's trauma? And then you pile your faux diagnosis on top of it. Some of you are just pot-stirring a$$holes who make me sympathetic to the family members who have to deal with you.

Oh no don’t misunderstand. I am not judging her trauma in any way. That sounds terrible! But the idea that she went though what mostly likely is not nearly as traumatic as what others are going through, yet thinks that we can all just get over our traumas if we just “choose” is wrong.

I find it kind of wild that you would i chastise my comment not hers, by the way. She said our early environments should not impact our adulthoods and if they do, it’s just because we are choosing that kind of life. That’s a really cruel thing to say.

Stop it. She said her sister "beat the living daylights out of me" and your response is: "Lol *that* was your trauma?" and then you nastily recommended more therapy for her. Ugh.

Again, you shouldn't be getting into the "my trauma is worse than your trauma" game. Nor should you be delivering your unprofessional diagnoses over the interwebs.

While I have tons of compassion for most people on this thread, in your case I'll save my compassion for your family.

I never said my trauma was worse. She said, in a response to my question about whether or not early childhood experiences impact adulthood, that they don’t. How does she know? Because her sister beat her and blamed her for her mom dying and she’s over it.

Okay, then, so the adult who watched his parents being killed when he was seven by a drug dealer shouldn’t have an excuse for nightmares that don’t let him sleep and shouldn’t have struggles with intimate relationships? The woman who was a victim of incest her entire childhood is flying into rages just because she hasn’t tried hard enough to leave the past behind?

If she or anyone else truly thinks this, I do think that therapy would be useful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of people wallowing in self pity. No one has a perfect parent, not even you are a perfect parent and your children will have complaints about you.

Adults do not live in the past.

Do you not believe that trauma is a thing? That our early environments can impact us into adulthood? Because you would be wrong.

I also believe that we can get over our trama(s) if we do choose. My older sister blamed me for our mother's death and used to beat the living daylights out of me. I made a choice many years ago that I could move on from her and problems.

Those who choose to live in the past have no future.

Lol *that* was your trauma? You think that because you got over that, people who from the time they were toddlers were constantly called horrible names by their parents, screamed at all the time, blamed for the parent’s problems, etc should just be able to “get over it” too?

That’s ridiculous and I don’t think you’re over your trauma. Go back to therapy.

Wow, just wow. I'm not that pp, but how dare you judge somebody else's trauma? And then you pile your faux diagnosis on top of it. Some of you are just pot-stirring a$$holes who make me sympathetic to the family members who have to deal with you.

Oh no don’t misunderstand. I am not judging her trauma in any way. That sounds terrible! But the idea that she went though what mostly likely is not nearly as traumatic as what others are going through, yet thinks that we can all just get over our traumas if we just “choose” is wrong.

I find it kind of wild that you would i chastise my comment not hers, by the way. She said our early environments should not impact our adulthoods and if they do, it’s just because we are choosing that kind of life. That’s a really cruel thing to say.

Stop it. She said her sister "beat the living daylights out of me" and your response is: "Lol *that* was your trauma?" and then you nastily recommended more therapy for her. Ugh.

Again, you shouldn't be getting into the "my trauma is worse than your trauma" game. Nor should you be delivering your unprofessional diagnoses over the interwebs.

While I have tons of compassion for most people on this thread, in your case I'll save my compassion for your family.

That's just mean. This is an anonymous board and you don't know what pp has experienced. This is a thread about verbal and emotional abuse, we should show each poster some compassion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of people wallowing in self pity. No one has a perfect parent, not even you are a perfect parent and your children will have complaints about you.

Adults do not live in the past.

Do you not believe that trauma is a thing? That our early environments can impact us into adulthood? Because you would be wrong.

I also believe that we can get over our trama(s) if we do choose. My older sister blamed me for our mother's death and used to beat the living daylights out of me. I made a choice many years ago that I could move on from her and problems.

Those who choose to live in the past have no future.

Lol *that* was your trauma? You think that because you got over that, people who from the time they were toddlers were constantly called horrible names by their parents, screamed at all the time, blamed for the parent’s problems, etc should just be able to “get over it” too?

That’s ridiculous and I don’t think you’re over your trauma. Go back to therapy.

Wow, just wow. I'm not that pp, but how dare you judge somebody else's trauma? And then you pile your faux diagnosis on top of it. Some of you are just pot-stirring a$$holes who make me sympathetic to the family members who have to deal with you.

Oh no don’t misunderstand. I am not judging her trauma in any way. That sounds terrible! But the idea that she went though what mostly likely is not nearly as traumatic as what others are going through, yet thinks that we can all just get over our traumas if we just “choose” is wrong.

I find it kind of wild that you would i chastise my comment not hers, by the way. She said our early environments should not impact our adulthoods and if they do, it’s just because we are choosing that kind of life. That’s a really cruel thing to say.

Stop it. She said her sister "beat the living daylights out of me" and your response is: "Lol *that* was your trauma?" and then you nastily recommended more therapy for her. Ugh.

Again, you shouldn't be getting into the "my trauma is worse than your trauma" game. Nor should you be delivering your unprofessional diagnoses over the interwebs.

While I have tons of compassion for most people on this thread, in your case I'll save my compassion for your family.

That's just mean. This is an anonymous board and you don't know what pp has experienced. This is a thread about verbal and emotional abuse, we should show each poster some compassion.

The pp in question loll'ed at the other pp's tale of abuse, so maybe you need to be admonishing her instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of people wallowing in self pity. No one has a perfect parent, not even you are a perfect parent and your children will have complaints about you.

Adults do not live in the past.

Do you not believe that trauma is a thing? That our early environments can impact us into adulthood? Because you would be wrong.

I also believe that we can get over our trama(s) if we do choose. My older sister blamed me for our mother's death and used to beat the living daylights out of me. I made a choice many years ago that I could move on from her and problems.

Those who choose to live in the past have no future.

Lol *that* was your trauma? You think that because you got over that, people who from the time they were toddlers were constantly called horrible names by their parents, screamed at all the time, blamed for the parent’s problems, etc should just be able to “get over it” too?

That’s ridiculous and I don’t think you’re over your trauma. Go back to therapy.

Wow, just wow. I'm not that pp, but how dare you judge somebody else's trauma? And then you pile your faux diagnosis on top of it. Some of you are just pot-stirring a$$holes who make me sympathetic to the family members who have to deal with you.

Oh no don’t misunderstand. I am not judging her trauma in any way. That sounds terrible! But the idea that she went though what mostly likely is not nearly as traumatic as what others are going through, yet thinks that we can all just get over our traumas if we just “choose” is wrong.

I find it kind of wild that you would i chastise my comment not hers, by the way. She said our early environments should not impact our adulthoods and if they do, it’s just because we are choosing that kind of life. That’s a really cruel thing to say.

Stop it. She said her sister "beat the living daylights out of me" and your response is: "Lol *that* was your trauma?" and then you nastily recommended more therapy for her. Ugh.

Again, you shouldn't be getting into the "my trauma is worse than your trauma" game. Nor should you be delivering your unprofessional diagnoses over the interwebs.

While I have tons of compassion for most people on this thread, in your case I'll save my compassion for your family.

I never said my trauma was worse. She said, in a response to my question about whether or not early childhood experiences impact adulthood, that they don’t. How does she know? Because her sister beat her and blamed her for her mom dying and she’s over it.

Okay, then, so the adult who watched his parents being killed when he was seven by a drug dealer shouldn’t have an excuse for nightmares that don’t let him sleep and shouldn’t have struggles with intimate relationships? The woman who was a victim of incest her entire childhood is flying into rages just because she hasn’t tried hard enough to leave the past behind?

If she or anyone else truly thinks this, I do think that therapy would be useful.

Except nobody on this thread said any of this. It's just you ratcheting up the drama, again.

Of course such victims deserve our empathy. My close friend is a victim of incest. But she's not on this thread and, I know her well, she definitely wouldn't give you permission to belittle pp's experience being abused by a sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of people wallowing in self pity. No one has a perfect parent, not even you are a perfect parent and your children will have complaints about you.

Adults do not live in the past.

Do you not believe that trauma is a thing? That our early environments can impact us into adulthood? Because you would be wrong.

I also believe that we can get over our trama(s) if we do choose. My older sister blamed me for our mother's death and used to beat the living daylights out of me. I made a choice many years ago that I could move on from her and problems.

Those who choose to live in the past have no future.

Lol *that* was your trauma? You think that because you got over that, people who from the time they were toddlers were constantly called horrible names by their parents, screamed at all the time, blamed for the parent’s problems, etc should just be able to “get over it” too?

That’s ridiculous and I don’t think you’re over your trauma. Go back to therapy.

Wow, just wow. I'm not that pp, but how dare you judge somebody else's trauma? And then you pile your faux diagnosis on top of it. Some of you are just pot-stirring a$$holes who make me sympathetic to the family members who have to deal with you.

Oh no don’t misunderstand. I am not judging her trauma in any way. That sounds terrible! But the idea that she went though what mostly likely is not nearly as traumatic as what others are going through, yet thinks that we can all just get over our traumas if we just “choose” is wrong.

I find it kind of wild that you would i chastise my comment not hers, by the way. She said our early environments should not impact our adulthoods and if they do, it’s just because we are choosing that kind of life. That’s a really cruel thing to say.

Stop it. She said her sister "beat the living daylights out of me" and your response is: "Lol *that* was your trauma?" and then you nastily recommended more therapy for her. Ugh.

Again, you shouldn't be getting into the "my trauma is worse than your trauma" game. Nor should you be delivering your unprofessional diagnoses over the interwebs.

While I have tons of compassion for most people on this thread, in your case I'll save my compassion for your family.

That's just mean. This is an anonymous board and you don't know what pp has experienced. This is a thread about verbal and emotional abuse, we should show each poster some compassion.

The pp in question loll'ed at the other pp's tale of abuse, so maybe you need to be admonishing her instead.

And other posters chimed in mocking others' pain, name calling and being judgementsl that their not "over it" yet. A little kindness goes a long way, especially on a thread about verbal and emotional abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of people wallowing in self pity. No one has a perfect parent, not even you are a perfect parent and your children will have complaints about you.

Adults do not live in the past.

Do you not believe that trauma is a thing? That our early environments can impact us into adulthood? Because you would be wrong.

DP. Living in the past doesn’t help with healing. Recognize what you’ve been through, name it, and then find a way to move forward.

Well yeah. The problem with being traumatized is that it keeps you living in the past. It keeps impacting you until you are able to heal. But what do you think “recognizing what have have lived through” means? Just….never talking about it? Never complaining? No. Confronting the past, processing it, etc is part of what is required to move past it. This is not a fast process. If you want to call it “wallowing in self-pity,” fine, but you could also just say nothing.

And what is with these parents of adult children jumping in and lecturing people who complain about their childhoods? Unless you’re OP’s mom it’s bizarre to get so defensive.

Agree. Definitely seems like projection.

Except it's not project, at least in my case. You trying to dismiss concerns about your behavior is what's concerning.

PP, I typed 5 words. What is it you imagine I've done?

Anybody else starting to suspect some of these traumatized adult children are trolls?

No, but I believe the "pity party" Trauma llama" "stop living in the past" name calling posters are sh#t stirring low key narcissist who feel seen in some of the traumatized posters' stories. If you possess self awareness, you can change. Stop abusing your family members and keep your abuse off of this thread, please and thank you.

This is such self-serving nonsense. Watching you buys wallow in self-pity, and being concerned for you, does not mean anybody else is an abuser. That's nuts. Please find a real therapist and stop projecting onto internet strangers. Please and thank you.

I'm the 5 words poster but not the PP who just called you out. Exactly how have you expressed concern in this thread? I've seen brave posters sharing their stories and then some emotionally immature, cruel posters calling them "drama llamas" (I mean, how old are you? That is language for a preschooler.) and directing people to stop wallowing. Where is this concern you speak of?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of people wallowing in self pity. No one has a perfect parent, not even you are a perfect parent and your children will have complaints about you.

Adults do not live in the past.

Do you not believe that trauma is a thing? That our early environments can impact us into adulthood? Because you would be wrong.

I also believe that we can get over our trama(s) if we do choose. My older sister blamed me for our mother's death and used to beat the living daylights out of me. I made a choice many years ago that I could move on from her and problems.

Those who choose to live in the past have no future.

Lol *that* was your trauma? You think that because you got over that, people who from the time they were toddlers were constantly called horrible names by their parents, screamed at all the time, blamed for the parent’s problems, etc should just be able to “get over it” too?

That’s ridiculous and I don’t think you’re over your trauma. Go back to therapy.

Wow, just wow. I'm not that pp, but how dare you judge somebody else's trauma? And then you pile your faux diagnosis on top of it. Some of you are just pot-stirring a$$holes who make me sympathetic to the family members who have to deal with you.

Oh no don’t misunderstand. I am not judging her trauma in any way. That sounds terrible! But the idea that she went though what mostly likely is not nearly as traumatic as what others are going through, yet thinks that we can all just get over our traumas if we just “choose” is wrong.

I find it kind of wild that you would i chastise my comment not hers, by the way. She said our early environments should not impact our adulthoods and if they do, it’s just because we are choosing that kind of life. That’s a really cruel thing to say.

Stop it. She said her sister "beat the living daylights out of me" and your response is: "Lol *that* was your trauma?" and then you nastily recommended more therapy for her. Ugh.

Again, you shouldn't be getting into the "my trauma is worse than your trauma" game. Nor should you be delivering your unprofessional diagnoses over the interwebs.

While I have tons of compassion for most people on this thread, in your case I'll save my compassion for your family.

I never said my trauma was worse. She said, in a response to my question about whether or not early childhood experiences impact adulthood, that they don’t. How does she know? Because her sister beat her and blamed her for her mom dying and she’s over it.

Okay, then, so the adult who watched his parents being killed when he was seven by a drug dealer shouldn’t have an excuse for nightmares that don’t let him sleep and shouldn’t have struggles with intimate relationships? The woman who was a victim of incest her entire childhood is flying into rages just because she hasn’t tried hard enough to leave the past behind?

If she or anyone else truly thinks this, I do think that therapy would be useful.

Except nobody on this thread said any of this. It's just you ratcheting up the drama, again.

Of course such victims deserve our empathy. My close friend is a victim of incest. But she's not on this thread and, I know her well, she definitely wouldn't give you permission to belittle pp's experience being abused by a sibling.

You should go back and read the PP I was replying to. I asked if traumatic childhood experiences influence adulthood, she said that we can get over our traumas if we choose and adults don’t live in the past.

I know you feel defensive of her, and that’s admirable. But she did not allow any space for an adult struggling with childhood trauma. That’s not okay. Also if she has truly healed and gotten past her trauma like she said, she won’t be triggered by my comment.

[Anonymous]

OP checking back. I really appreciate some of the comments. Other comments are exactly why I keep so much to myself and just share with my therapist (and my husband who gets it because he comes from a similar background).

[Anonymous]

People commenting that childhood trauma survivors can just get over it are just profoundly ignorant about neuroscience and all it has taught us in the last few decades about the effects of trauma on the brain and the rest of the body’s functioning. They don’t understand attachment theory or any of the other sound and solid research into adverse childhood experiences and the impact on the long term health of human beings who experience them during a time of critical brain development.

Childhood trauma is no less serious than cancer and the effects cost society well into the multi trillions. It is at the root of much criminality, mental illness, chronic illness, substance abuse, domestic abuse, child abuse and sexual abuse and assault. Hurt people hurt people from dysfunctional marriages that end up a boiling pot of abuse for the children raised in them all the way to extreme child abuse. It’s all a spectrum of the same toxic mess. We need to teach people healthier ways of being and interacting and then we can begin to evolve beyond the countless generations that perpetuate the cycle of abuse.

For those of us who have experienced it, nothing the sad sacks leaving nasty comments can say will sting much given the living hell that marred and/or stole our childhoods and in many cases has made all of adulthood a journey of struggling with attachment disorder and mood disorder related to our very low sense of self worth. It seriously screws a child up to be emotionally and verbally abused on the regular while growing up. We don’t deserve further abuse here, but we more than anybody know how many monsters there are in the world hiding behind the masks of so-called normal people.

For friends who are on the journey of recovery and still struggling despite therapy etc., please consider psychedelics if they are available to you. I have been microdosing for two months now and have been stunned by the results thus far - so has my longtime therapist. I am taking psilocybin micro dose 3x weekly and have had a huge reduction in rumination/intrusive thoughts and a significant brightening of mood and relaxing of anxiety. I am 52 and have struggled with depression/anxiety later diagnosed as ptsd since my teen years. I have had dozens of meds and most recently a course of TMS therapy which helped a lot with getting my baseline higher but didn’t help with letting go of thoughts I still have of past experiences. If you have ptsd, you cannot just shut them off or choose to move on - it’s about how your brain has functioned in survival mode for sometimes decades. They aren’t sure exactly how it works but psychedelics allow the brain to let go and refire areas of the brain that have gone quieter in long term depression. The research on it is astounding, recent studies show that 2/3 of ptsd patients were CURED of symptoms entirely by psychedelic therapy in just a few sessions. Recent episode of NOVA presents the science and there is a good series on Netflix that depicts Michael Pollan’s findings in researching his recent book How to Change Your Mind which goes over all the recent studies.

Law enforcement is advocating for MDMA to be legalized again to treat cops and other first responders with PTSD. These drugs will be front line treatment within the next decade, mark my words.