Help me write text to volatile siblings

[Anonymous]

NP. I disagree with the criticism directed at OP. I think visitors should always try to be good guests. Hosts should be accommodating but ultimately it’s okay for them to make the rules. It’s okay to say the visit will be outdoors, we can do a picnic. It’s okay to be a little paranoid about your health. It’s your health. You can make the rules to protect it.

It would not be okay if Op allows unvaccinated unmarked friends to visit inside, but not siblings. That would make it more about the conflictual relationship with siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I disagree with the criticism directed at OP. I think visitors should always try to be good guests. Hosts should be accommodating but ultimately it’s okay for them to make the rules. It’s okay to say the visit will be outdoors, we can do a picnic. It’s okay to be a little paranoid about your health. It’s your health. You can make the rules to protect it.

It would not be okay if Op allows unvaccinated unmarked friends to visit inside, but not siblings. That would make it more about the conflictual relationship with siblings.

Unmasked*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please stop using words like “momming.”

Stop with the “Is that going to work for you?” It’s mealy-mouthed. I’m not sure why you’re trying to manage people you say don’t care about you.

WTF does mealy-mouthed mean?

It’s a well-known phrase. Google it before you ask next time. Makes you look like an idiot.

[Anonymous]

What difference does their vaccination status matter to OP? She keeps harping on it but it doesn't mean they are more likely to spread Covid to OP. She just wants to punish them for their different beliefs. This isn't just about her health.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP but you're being a bit ridiculous. I understand that you have health issues but at this point this is crazy. Being vaccinated only matters for that individual. It has nothing to do with transmission. You have kids in school - do you have any idea how many unvaccinated people are in your family's world. I get the feeling you just don't want to deal with this sibling and are still annoyed by their choices even though it has no actual impact on you. Just own that you don't really want to see them and are using their vaccination status as an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What difference does their vaccination status matter to OP? She keeps harping on it but it doesn't mean they are more likely to spread Covid to OP. She just wants to punish them for their different beliefs. This isn't just about her health.

Yep, this is 100% it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, for a very long time, I was one of the most COVID-cautious and COVID-anxious people I know. And honestly, it’s crazy to me that your kids are in *daycare and school* and you are acting like that’s OK and acceptable risk, but seeing family is not. Come on. That makes absolutely no logical sense. You’re telling me your kid could very well be sitting next to an unvaccinated kid all day at school, and somehow that’s different than if they were sitting next to an unvaccinated cousin building a Lego set?

You speak the truth, but OP's and many others' fears about covid are an illness and they are not willing to seek help. It is pretty sad reading her rant, but she can't see that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, for a very long time, I was one of the most COVID-cautious and COVID-anxious people I know. And honestly, it’s crazy to me that your kids are in *daycare and school* and you are acting like that’s OK and acceptable risk, but seeing family is not. Come on. That makes absolutely no logical sense. You’re telling me your kid could very well be sitting next to an unvaccinated kid all day at school, and somehow that’s different than if they were sitting next to an unvaccinated cousin building a Lego set?

FWIW, my kids go to preschool and private school, and everyone has to be vaccinated at both.

LOL! And no activities anywhere? And you are buying this BS?

[Anonymous]

Considering that your fully vaccinated friends can transmit covid to you, I do not see your point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I mean, let’s be clear. The issue isn’t that your kid will get COVID from their unvaxed kid and it will be rough. The issue is that you cannot trust these folks to test or tell you the truth about either symptoms or testing. So there you are.

OP again. It’s both that I can’t trust them and that I’ve learned things about them through covid that make me not like them, honestly. They aren’t vaccinated, but when they got covid they of course went to the hospital (which I’m glad about), spent weeks in the hospital, complaining the whole time about their care. They have lied. They have ridiculed me for being a sheep. They have hosted an intervention with my parents, who are in their 80s, to convince my parents to be around them even when they are unvaccinated back when we thought being vaccinated could stop transmission. They are so selfish. I felt like my family had accomplished a slow fade from them, and now it looks like we’re going to have to have a dramatic break up. Or suck it up and have a once per year or so visit, with whatever risk that entails.

They likely have better immunity than many vaccinated people who never got covid. You hate them and that's ok. But, don't be a hypocrite!

[Anonymous]

OP let go of the family obligations. The more you give in to their BS “need” to see your kids when and how it’s convenient for them, the cycle will never end. You can make excuses until the next time or just be honest and say we can’t commit at this time or the foreseeable future. No reason needed! You do not have to like them or spend time with them. Commit to estrangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP let go of the family obligations. The more you give in to their BS “need” to see your kids when and how it’s convenient for them, the cycle will never end. You can make excuses until the next time or just be honest and say we can’t commit at this time or the foreseeable future. No reason needed! You do not have to like them or spend time with them. Commit to estrangement.

OP didn't say "need" that's your bizarre take. She said they want to come visit. It's been 2 years. It's hardly unusual for siblings to want to stay in touch but people like OP are still living by their nonsensical rules and rise assessments where school and everything else is ok but a short visit with relatives would certainly result in hospitalization and death. OP might as well just cut them off and stay in her bunker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you've been put in this position. I guess my only counter would be that if you are eating inside, shopping in person, traveling at all, etc, you are probably sharing air with unvaccinated people every day.

So then you have to decide if you want to lay down the law this time, with these people - which makes it start seeming personal instead of a general rule.

But maybe you're not doing any of those things and you really do have a rule about not being indoors with anyone whose vax status isn't determined.

Would you be ok if they test right before they see you? Or at your house? Is this about setting emotional boundaries as much as health related ones?

A) I definitely don’t eat inside or travel! And I rarely go into stores.
B) It’s also about emotional boundaries. I know I’m going to catch covid. I have kids in school. But I care about WHERE I catch covid. I want to catch it from one of my kids. Not from a sibling who doesn’t give a $&@“ about my health.

And no, they won’t test before they come. Because we’re all sheep and microchips and blah blah

blah.

The bolded effectively discredited any margin of legitimate rationale you had. Time to accept that you need help. This not about COVID. And yes everyone in my family has been vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I mean, let’s be clear. The issue isn’t that your kid will get COVID from their unvaxed kid and it will be rough. The issue is that you cannot trust these folks to test or tell you the truth about either symptoms or testing. So there you are.

OP again. It’s both that I can’t trust them and that I’ve learned things about them through covid that make me not like them, honestly. They aren’t vaccinated, but when they got covid they of course went to the hospital (which I’m glad about), spent weeks in the hospital, complaining the whole time about their care. They have lied. They have ridiculed me for being a sheep. They have hosted an intervention with my parents, who are in their 80s, to convince my parents to be around them even when they are unvaccinated back when we thought being vaccinated could stop transmission. They are so selfish. I felt like my family had accomplished a slow fade from them, and now it looks like we’re going to have to have a dramatic break up. Or suck it up and have a once per year or so visit, with whatever risk that entails.

You are the problem and create drama when it's not there. Vaccines help with your symptoms not transmission. [b]Many of the kids your kids go to school with aren't vaccinated. Grow up. If you don't want to see them say so but don't pretend its covid related when you aren't careful at all. You are selfish.

M
And you also apparently can't read. OP clearly stated that her kids' nonpublic schools require students to be vaccinated. Try again.

You realize there are children at these schools with “religious” exemptions.

[Anonymous]

What did you end up deciding to do, OP?