Pre-marriage due diligence checklist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4 pages in yet nobody has mentioned sexual compatibility

That's because it is first on the list of things you shouldn't bother putting on the list.

You are going to be sexually compatible when you're dating and when you first get married - duh, or you won't get married. (If you do, that's on you, and you're so dumb that making checklists isn't going to help you.)

But as we know from reading many, many DCUM posts, sexual compatibility declines over the course of a marriage - often to nothing. There are many different reasons for this, but since it is always the product of feelings, no amount of rational checklist-making or -following is going to avert it.

Just try to imagine a couple married ten years with two kids and the frustrated DH saying, "but honey, according to our premarital checklist, this shouldn't be happening!" That's when she says, "according to the DCUM dead bedroom checklist, you can cheat, divorce me, or deal with it, those are the three options."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 pages in yet nobody has mentioned sexual compatibility

That's because it is first on the list of things you shouldn't bother putting on the list.

You are going to be sexually compatible when you're dating and when you first get married - duh, or you won't get married. (If you do, that's on you, and you're so dumb that making checklists isn't going to help you.)

But as we know from reading many, many DCUM posts, sexual compatibility declines over the course of a marriage - often to nothing. There are many different reasons for this, but since it is always the product of feelings, no amount of rational checklist-making or -following is going to avert it.

Just try to imagine a couple married ten years with two kids and the frustrated DH saying, "but honey, according to our premarital checklist, this shouldn't be happening!" That's when she says, "according to the DCUM dead bedroom checklist, you can cheat, divorce me, or deal with it, those are the three options."

If you are religious you are taught to wait till marriage. Not a good idea is all I can say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids: how many, when, what do you expect to happen when they come along?

+100

Not an issue in my marriage. But my sister was dating a very career focused guy who wanted to have kids but also wanted to only date women with a successful career (which my sister has). He’s going to make some poor woman very miserable some day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those married or divorced, what questions would you ask your potential spouse before marriage? E.g., financial or health issues. I’m currently dating with the intention of marriage, and want to learn from others’ experiences. Thanks!

After having kids together, I learned my spouse was diagnosed as schizophrenic. I wouldn’t have procreated with this person if I’d known that.

[Anonymous]

Are you married to your Mother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you exclusively breastfeed my child unless there are medical complications that prevent it?

Bizarre.

Troll darling.