Where to move for lower pressure schools?

[Anonymous]

Silver Spring resident with 2 kids in high school who have been in Northwood cluster schools throughout their MCPS tenure. Within our circle of friends and neighbors, there is a spectrum of pressure, largely driven by the parents. Some were crushed when their kids didn't get into a magnet. Others, like us, were fine with their kids not even applying to a magnet. We've known kids who have graduated from all the DCC schools and all have found the right college experience for themselves, ranging from MCC to Ivy. Some of my friends drove me crazy during the school choice/magnet application period for high school as if it was going to make or break their children's academic future. Frankly, I'm more concerned about my kids' social-emotional wellbeing, especially after the last few crazy years. So we're in the laid back parenting and school pressure category along with most of our silver spring friends. As long as my kids don't live in my basement when they are 30, we're all good!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think there's a bit of selection bias at work here, and I don't blame you. You are seeing a small cross-section of kids -- those stressed out enough to seek psychological support.

As a counterpoint, I come into contact with TPMS and Blair kids all the time and they are uniformly happy, well-adjusted, and confident young people. But that's also selection bias.

The point is that you will find stressed out and anxious kids everywhere, particularly in the DMV. Just make sure your own kid doesn't stress themselves out and has healthy outlets, which I'm sure you will do!

Yes, you're right and I'm definitely aware of the bias; however, there are situations that aren't based on bias. For example, one high school teacher at a public high school told their AP class that if the students did not get a specific grade on that specific AP exam that they would not write them a letter of recommendation for college. These are the kinds of stories I hear, not just individuals who are stressed about getting into college. Also, lots of students visiting campuses from freshman year on is not normal. Families taking trips just to visit colleges starting at 14. These are the kinds of things you just don't hear other places, and I've treated kids in numerous states at this point in my career. There will be happy and unhappy kids everywhere, absolutely. But there is a culture here that is very different than other places in terms of the focus on elite colleges. There's also a difference between offering AP classes and saying well it's the kids' choice to take or not take, but then teachers are continuing to push the kids to take them because of how good it will look. So then you as a parent have to decide whether you are going to tell your kid, who really wants to be like all their friends and please their teacher and believes they must take 4 AP's or they won't get into an elite school, which is super important apparently. That's different than just having the option to take or not take. I've also spoken with my massage therapist about his daughter's experience and many others, not just clients. It's just a different world out here so I'm trying to shield my son as much as possible while living in this general area. I have to make a choice about where to move next year when we sell the house and want to be informed about my options.

I have lived in Silver Spring for years and have never heard of families visiting college freshman year. Most families are not super-focused on elite colleges and many can't afford them anyways. You are definitely getting a skewed sample.

That's odd. I also live near Silver Spring and many of my children's friends did exactly this sort of thing and are already planning for elite colleges.

Silver Spring is a huge area and has many different families with different attitudes toward college, AP/IB, test prep, etc. I don't think this is something that happens in a consistent way in a school or neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi all,

I am currently living in Silver Spring and about to be a single mom so I am looking to move next summer before my son starts kindergarten. I’m looking for something more affordable (likely I’ll need a townhome), within an hour or so from Arlington without traffic, with schools that don’t have so much academic pressure and crazy homework loads even for young kids. Would appreciate any and all respectful input and places to consider. I will be posting the same thing in the Fairfax county thread and seriously considering Frederick as well. Really any neighboring counties. My head is just spinning with options are and I’m not really interested in school rankings because I think they mostly reflect SES rather than teaching quality, supportive administration, etc. My son will likely get an autism spectrum diagnosis but it’s very mild. That said, it’s possible he will need some services so that is something else I want to consider. He’s also incredibly bright so having options for some gifted programming would be nice, if he ends up needing more of a challenge. But I want to school to be something that is not crazy stressful because the rest of his life might be, plus I just want him to enjoy being a kid! Obviously I want him to have a solid education in a safe school.

Thank you!
-Stressed out mama

I responded in the other Maryland schools thread and in MoCo, I absolutely encourage you to check out Strawberry Knoll ES in Gaithersburg.

Do you mind elaborating more about Strawberry Knoll? Are you referring to the autism program there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're open to staying in Silver Spring, Flora Singer Elementary has a learning center that serves kids with special needs. I have friends and neighbors who have had kids with autism spectrum diagnoses go there and have reported very good experiences. And it's a nice, friendly, down-to-earth diverse neighborhood school.

Thank you, that's right by my current house. Great to know, though I don't think I can afford anything in this area on my own.

DP with kids at Oakland Terrace, which is very similar to Singer in many ways - OP, I honestly think that much of MoCo will be more of a pressure cooker than you want. For example, Singer and OTES are friendly, diverse, etc., WAY more chill than W-feeders, and still have more academic intensity than many other places. My DD, now in fifth, has told me multiple times that she was the only kid in her class in first and second grades who didn't do the assigned homework. (She may be exaggerating, but not by much, knowing her.) Now, her teachers never asked after it, to her or to us as parents, but it was there and the expectation was that it would be done. Many parents in-bounds for DCC high schools are highly educated if not wealthy, and still have high academic standards of the kind you describe wanting to avoid.

If you haven't already, you might try posting in the "Maryland Schools not MCPS," or whatever forum it's called, to see what the experiences are like in Frederick County, for example. Otherwise, yes, high schools like Sherwood, Magruder, Seneca Valley, are overall going to be less academically intense than even downcounty ones.

Why didn’t your kid do the assigned homework?? That seems like a pretty basic standard to me. I don’t want my kids surrounded by slackers, but maybe OP and you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're open to staying in Silver Spring, Flora Singer Elementary has a learning center that serves kids with special needs. I have friends and neighbors who have had kids with autism spectrum diagnoses go there and have reported very good experiences. And it's a nice, friendly, down-to-earth diverse neighborhood school.

Thank you, that's right by my current house. Great to know, though I don't think I can afford anything in this area on my own.

DP with kids at Oakland Terrace, which is very similar to Singer in many ways - OP, I honestly think that much of MoCo will be more of a pressure cooker than you want. For example, Singer and OTES are friendly, diverse, etc., WAY more chill than W-feeders, and still have more academic intensity than many other places. My DD, now in fifth, has told me multiple times that she was the only kid in her class in first and second grades who didn't do the assigned homework. (She may be exaggerating, but not by much, knowing her.) Now, her teachers never asked after it, to her or to us as parents, but it was there and the expectation was that it would be done. Many parents in-bounds for DCC high schools are highly educated if not wealthy, and still have high academic standards of the kind you describe wanting to avoid.

If you haven't already, you might try posting in the "Maryland Schools not MCPS," or whatever forum it's called, to see what the experiences are like in Frederick County, for example. Otherwise, yes, high schools like Sherwood, Magruder, Seneca Valley, are overall going to be less academically intense than even downcounty ones.

Why didn’t your kid do the assigned homework?? That seems like a pretty basic standard to me. I don’t want my kids surrounded by slackers, but maybe OP and you do?

Wow. The research does not support homework prior to at least 4th grade. Large studies demonstrate absolutely no long-term benefits. So it is taking up precious time they could be playing (with parents or friends), relaxing from the day, etc. There wouldn’t be any homework battles, which impact parent-child relationships and everyone’s mood, all for naught. As a child psychologist, I can assure you that young kids not getting homework does not mean that they are slackers. I was not overloaded with homework in middle school or high school - I rode my horse or played basketball, depending on the season, hung with friends, and of course did some homework. And I have a PhD in clinical psychology, requiring 11 years of post-high school studies/training. I’m anything but a slacker but my memories of my childhood were of all the fun things I did, not stuck in my bedroom stressed and up late doing homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're open to staying in Silver Spring, Flora Singer Elementary has a learning center that serves kids with special needs. I have friends and neighbors who have had kids with autism spectrum diagnoses go there and have reported very good experiences. And it's a nice, friendly, down-to-earth diverse neighborhood school.

Thank you, that's right by my current house. Great to know, though I don't think I can afford anything in this area on my own.

DP with kids at Oakland Terrace, which is very similar to Singer in many ways - OP, I honestly think that much of MoCo will be more of a pressure cooker than you want. For example, Singer and OTES are friendly, diverse, etc., WAY more chill than W-feeders, and still have more academic intensity than many other places. My DD, now in fifth, has told me multiple times that she was the only kid in her class in first and second grades who didn't do the assigned homework. (She may be exaggerating, but not by much, knowing her.) Now, her teachers never asked after it, to her or to us as parents, but it was there and the expectation was that it would be done. Many parents in-bounds for DCC high schools are highly educated if not wealthy, and still have high academic standards of the kind you describe wanting to avoid.

If you haven't already, you might try posting in the "Maryland Schools not MCPS," or whatever forum it's called, to see what the experiences are like in Frederick County, for example. Otherwise, yes, high schools like Sherwood, Magruder, Seneca Valley, are overall going to be less academically intense than even downcounty ones.

Why didn’t your kid do the assigned homework?? That seems like a pretty basic standard to me. I don’t want my kids surrounded by slackers, but maybe OP and you do?

LOL - as the PP you're replying to, there's no evidence that homework is beneficial for young children. None. I'm not going to force my kids to engage in busywork at the expense of free play. When they're older, sure, but in first grade? Please. Insisting on homework at that age tells me the adult in question knows little about child development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're working in Arlington, I'd look for a school/home as close to your work as possible, especially as a single parent. Post in SN and see what reccs you get - people there are generally really helpful.

Good luck!

I'm guessing the STBX lives/will live in Arlington, so needs to be reasonable commute for shared custody but not daily commute for work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're open to staying in Silver Spring, Flora Singer Elementary has a learning center that serves kids with special needs. I have friends and neighbors who have had kids with autism spectrum diagnoses go there and have reported very good experiences. And it's a nice, friendly, down-to-earth diverse neighborhood school.

Thank you, that's right by my current house. Great to know, though I don't think I can afford anything in this area on my own.

DP with kids at Oakland Terrace, which is very similar to Singer in many ways - OP, I honestly think that much of MoCo will be more of a pressure cooker than you want. For example, Singer and OTES are friendly, diverse, etc., WAY more chill than W-feeders, and still have more academic intensity than many other places. My DD, now in fifth, has told me multiple times that she was the only kid in her class in first and second grades who didn't do the assigned homework. (She may be exaggerating, but not by much, knowing her.) Now, her teachers never asked after it, to her or to us as parents, but it was there and the expectation was that it would be done. Many parents in-bounds for DCC high schools are highly educated if not wealthy, and still have high academic standards of the kind you describe wanting to avoid.

If you haven't already, you might try posting in the "Maryland Schools not MCPS," or whatever forum it's called, to see what the experiences are like in Frederick County, for example. Otherwise, yes, high schools like Sherwood, Magruder, Seneca Valley, are overall going to be less academically intense than even downcounty ones.

+1 My sisters and I attended a school with no homework through 8th grade. We all have graduate degrees and highly successful careers.

Why didn’t your kid do the assigned homework?? That seems like a pretty basic standard to me. I don’t want my kids surrounded by slackers, but maybe OP and you do?

Wow. The research does not support homework prior to at least 4th grade. Large studies demonstrate absolutely no long-term benefits. So it is taking up precious time they could be playing (with parents or friends), relaxing from the day, etc. There wouldn’t be any homework battles, which impact parent-child relationships and everyone’s mood, all for naught. As a child psychologist, I can assure you that young kids not getting homework does not mean that they are slackers. I was not overloaded with homework in middle school or high school - I rode my horse or played basketball, depending on the season, hung with friends, and of course did some homework. And I have a PhD in clinical psychology, requiring 11 years of post-high school studies/training. I’m anything but a slacker but my memories of my childhood were of all the fun things I did, not stuck in my bedroom stressed and up late doing homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're open to staying in Silver Spring, Flora Singer Elementary has a learning center that serves kids with special needs. I have friends and neighbors who have had kids with autism spectrum diagnoses go there and have reported very good experiences. And it's a nice, friendly, down-to-earth diverse neighborhood school.

Thank you, that's right by my current house. Great to know, though I don't think I can afford anything in this area on my own.

DP with kids at Oakland Terrace, which is very similar to Singer in many ways - OP, I honestly think that much of MoCo will be more of a pressure cooker than you want. For example, Singer and OTES are friendly, diverse, etc., WAY more chill than W-feeders, and still have more academic intensity than many other places. My DD, now in fifth, has told me multiple times that she was the only kid in her class in first and second grades who didn't do the assigned homework. (She may be exaggerating, but not by much, knowing her.) Now, her teachers never asked after it, to her or to us as parents, but it was there and the expectation was that it would be done. Many parents in-bounds for DCC high schools are highly educated if not wealthy, and still have high academic standards of the kind you describe wanting to avoid.

If you haven't already, you might try posting in the "Maryland Schools not MCPS," or whatever forum it's called, to see what the experiences are like in Frederick County, for example. Otherwise, yes, high schools like Sherwood, Magruder, Seneca Valley, are overall going to be less academically intense than even downcounty ones.

Why didn’t your kid do the assigned homework?? That seems like a pretty basic standard to me. I don’t want my kids surrounded by slackers, but maybe OP and you do?

Wow. The research does not support homework prior to at least 4th grade. Large studies demonstrate absolutely no long-term benefits. So it is taking up precious time they could be playing (with parents or friends), relaxing from the day, etc. There wouldn’t be any homework battles, which impact parent-child relationships and everyone’s mood, all for naught. As a child psychologist, I can assure you that young kids not getting homework does not mean that they are slackers. I was not overloaded with homework in middle school or high school - I rode my horse or played basketball, depending on the season, hung with friends, and of course did some homework. And I have a PhD in clinical psychology, requiring 11 years of post-high school studies/training. I’m anything but a slacker but my memories of my childhood were of all the fun things I did, not stuck in my bedroom stressed and up late doing homework.

I'm not sure about PP's school, but at our school, the homework was extremely minimal. There's something anti-social about opting your kid out of something effectively harmless that all the other kids are doing. For all that my DS sometimes complained about it, I'm positive he would have been very mad and confused if I told him he didn't have to do it. If there ever was an assignment that seemed to cause a lot of stress the teachers were always fine with the parents deciding to skip that one.

Key here is that you do not need to have any battles. It's a good chance to let the child take responsibility. I think parents who get in "battles" over ES homework are generally projecting their own concerns and feel like they need to make sure the homework is perfect. The elementary teachers in our school generally set up homework in a way that the kids could handle it all themselves, and I basically never interfere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're open to staying in Silver Spring, Flora Singer Elementary has a learning center that serves kids with special needs. I have friends and neighbors who have had kids with autism spectrum diagnoses go there and have reported very good experiences. And it's a nice, friendly, down-to-earth diverse neighborhood school.

Thank you, that's right by my current house. Great to know, though I don't think I can afford anything in this area on my own.

DP with kids at Oakland Terrace, which is very similar to Singer in many ways - OP, I honestly think that much of MoCo will be more of a pressure cooker than you want. For example, Singer and OTES are friendly, diverse, etc., WAY more chill than W-feeders, and still have more academic intensity than many other places. My DD, now in fifth, has told me multiple times that she was the only kid in her class in first and second grades who didn't do the assigned homework. (She may be exaggerating, but not by much, knowing her.) Now, her teachers never asked after it, to her or to us as parents, but it was there and the expectation was that it would be done. Many parents in-bounds for DCC high schools are highly educated if not wealthy, and still have high academic standards of the kind you describe wanting to avoid.

If you haven't already, you might try posting in the "Maryland Schools not MCPS," or whatever forum it's called, to see what the experiences are like in Frederick County, for example. Otherwise, yes, high schools like Sherwood, Magruder, Seneca Valley, are overall going to be less academically intense than even downcounty ones.

Why didn’t your kid do the assigned homework?? That seems like a pretty basic standard to me. I don’t want my kids surrounded by slackers, but maybe OP and you do?

LOL - as the PP you're replying to, there's no evidence that homework is beneficial for young children. None. I'm not going to force my kids to engage in busywork at the expense of free play. When they're older, sure, but in first grade? Please. Insisting on homework at that age tells me the adult in question knows little about child development.

1st grade homework generally takes like 10 minutes one day a week. If it's more than that to the extend you feel like it's coming "at the expense of free play," talk to the teachers. But almost uniformly, the elementary teacher in our school approach homework as a way to get the kids used to doing homework and taking responsibility, as well as a way for parents to see what their kids are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're open to staying in Silver Spring, Flora Singer Elementary has a learning center that serves kids with special needs. I have friends and neighbors who have had kids with autism spectrum diagnoses go there and have reported very good experiences. And it's a nice, friendly, down-to-earth diverse neighborhood school.

Thank you, that's right by my current house. Great to know, though I don't think I can afford anything in this area on my own.

DP with kids at Oakland Terrace, which is very similar to Singer in many ways - OP, I honestly think that much of MoCo will be more of a pressure cooker than you want. For example, Singer and OTES are friendly, diverse, etc., WAY more chill than W-feeders, and still have more academic intensity than many other places. My DD, now in fifth, has told me multiple times that she was the only kid in her class in first and second grades who didn't do the assigned homework. (She may be exaggerating, but not by much, knowing her.) Now, her teachers never asked after it, to her or to us as parents, but it was there and the expectation was that it would be done. Many parents in-bounds for DCC high schools are highly educated if not wealthy, and still have high academic standards of the kind you describe wanting to avoid.

If you haven't already, you might try posting in the "Maryland Schools not MCPS," or whatever forum it's called, to see what the experiences are like in Frederick County, for example. Otherwise, yes, high schools like Sherwood, Magruder, Seneca Valley, are overall going to be less academically intense than even downcounty ones.

Why didn’t your kid do the assigned homework?? That seems like a pretty basic standard to me. I don’t want my kids surrounded by slackers, but maybe OP and you do?

LOL - as the PP you're replying to, there's no evidence that homework is beneficial for young children. None. I'm not going to force my kids to engage in busywork at the expense of free play. When they're older, sure, but in first grade? Please. Insisting on homework at that age tells me the adult in question knows little about child development.

1st grade homework generally takes like 10 minutes one day a week. If it's more than that to the extend you feel like it's coming "at the expense of free play," talk to the teachers. But almost uniformly, the elementary teacher in our school approach homework as a way to get the kids used to doing homework and taking responsibility, as well as a way for parents to see what their kids are doing.

Here's the thing: getting a full sense of what my kids are doing takes more than 10 minutes, one day a week. Also, a commitment that minimal isn't building any kind of habit. I know you're trying to justify your position, but your claims undermine each other.

Also: your argument is probably the kind of academic pressure nonsense the OP might want to avoid. I'm all for working smart and for good habits. Forcing early elementary kids to do busywork is neither of those things.

[Anonymous]

For elementary schools with solid special Ed and affordable housing, I would look at the Flora Singer area. That school has a great special Ed program. Not a pressure cooker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For elementary schools with solid special Ed and affordable housing, I would look at the Flora Singer area. That school has a great special Ed program. Not a pressure cooker.

I agree - Flora Singer is great. But for long term, you might want to consider the WJ cluster. Tilden and WJ both have the Aspergers program. I don't know first hand whether it is like a pressure cooker there but for a kid with ASD both schools are supposed to be excellent and supportive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're open to staying in Silver Spring, Flora Singer Elementary has a learning center that serves kids with special needs. I have friends and neighbors who have had kids with autism spectrum diagnoses go there and have reported very good experiences. And it's a nice, friendly, down-to-earth diverse neighborhood school.

Thank you, that's right by my current house. Great to know, though I don't think I can afford anything in this area on my own.

DP with kids at Oakland Terrace, which is very similar to Singer in many ways - OP, I honestly think that much of MoCo will be more of a pressure cooker than you want. For example, Singer and OTES are friendly, diverse, etc., WAY more chill than W-feeders, and still have more academic intensity than many other places. My DD, now in fifth, has told me multiple times that she was the only kid in her class in first and second grades who didn't do the assigned homework. (She may be exaggerating, but not by much, knowing her.) Now, her teachers never asked after it, to her or to us as parents, but it was there and the expectation was that it would be done. Many parents in-bounds for DCC high schools are highly educated if not wealthy, and still have high academic standards of the kind you describe wanting to avoid.

If you haven't already, you might try posting in the "Maryland Schools not MCPS," or whatever forum it's called, to see what the experiences are like in Frederick County, for example. Otherwise, yes, high schools like Sherwood, Magruder, Seneca Valley, are overall going to be less academically intense than even downcounty ones.

Why didn’t your kid do the assigned homework?? That seems like a pretty basic standard to me. I don’t want my kids surrounded by slackers, but maybe OP and you do?

LOL - as the PP you're replying to, there's no evidence that homework is beneficial for young children. None. I'm not going to force my kids to engage in busywork at the expense of free play. When they're older, sure, but in first grade? Please. Insisting on homework at that age tells me the adult in question knows little about child development.

1st grade homework generally takes like 10 minutes one day a week. If it's more than that to the extend you feel like it's coming "at the expense of free play," talk to the teachers. But almost uniformly, the elementary teacher in our school approach homework as a way to get the kids used to doing homework and taking responsibility, as well as a way for parents to see what their kids are doing.

Here's the thing: getting a full sense of what my kids are doing takes more than 10 minutes, one day a week. Also, a commitment that minimal isn't building any kind of habit. I know you're trying to justify your position, but your claims undermine each other.

Also: your argument is probably the kind of academic pressure nonsense the OP might want to avoid. I'm all for working smart and for good habits. Forcing early elementary kids to do busywork is neither of those things.

I think it’s weird and rude to teach your kid that they can ignore the teachers request that they do homework. It’s disrespectful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're open to staying in Silver Spring, Flora Singer Elementary has a learning center that serves kids with special needs. I have friends and neighbors who have had kids with autism spectrum diagnoses go there and have reported very good experiences. And it's a nice, friendly, down-to-earth diverse neighborhood school.

Thank you, that's right by my current house. Great to know, though I don't think I can afford anything in this area on my own.

DP with kids at Oakland Terrace, which is very similar to Singer in many ways - OP, I honestly think that much of MoCo will be more of a pressure cooker than you want. For example, Singer and OTES are friendly, diverse, etc., WAY more chill than W-feeders, and still have more academic intensity than many other places. My DD, now in fifth, has told me multiple times that she was the only kid in her class in first and second grades who didn't do the assigned homework. (She may be exaggerating, but not by much, knowing her.) Now, her teachers never asked after it, to her or to us as parents, but it was there and the expectation was that it would be done. Many parents in-bounds for DCC high schools are highly educated if not wealthy, and still have high academic standards of the kind you describe wanting to avoid.

If you haven't already, you might try posting in the "Maryland Schools not MCPS," or whatever forum it's called, to see what the experiences are like in Frederick County, for example. Otherwise, yes, high schools like Sherwood, Magruder, Seneca Valley, are overall going to be less academically intense than even downcounty ones.

Why didn’t your kid do the assigned homework?? That seems like a pretty basic standard to me. I don’t want my kids surrounded by slackers, but maybe OP and you do?

LOL - as the PP you're replying to, there's no evidence that homework is beneficial for young children. None. I'm not going to force my kids to engage in busywork at the expense of free play. When they're older, sure, but in first grade? Please. Insisting on homework at that age tells me the adult in question knows little about child development.

1st grade homework generally takes like 10 minutes one day a week. If it's more than that to the extend you feel like it's coming "at the expense of free play," talk to the teachers. But almost uniformly, the elementary teacher in our school approach homework as a way to get the kids used to doing homework and taking responsibility, as well as a way for parents to see what their kids are doing.

Here's the thing: getting a full sense of what my kids are doing takes more than 10 minutes, one day a week. Also, a commitment that minimal isn't building any kind of habit. I know you're trying to justify your position, but your claims undermine each other.

Also: your argument is probably the kind of academic pressure nonsense the OP might want to avoid. I'm all for working smart and for good habits. Forcing early elementary kids to do busywork is neither of those things.

I think it’s weird and rude to teach your kid that they can ignore the teachers request that they do homework. It’s disrespectful

The homework was optional; we were the only ones who opted out.

I think it’s far weirder to assign homework for first graders, with no evidence of benefit beyond satisfying tightly wound parents.