Where to move for lower pressure schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies thus far - I should add that I do not work in Arlington, that's where my son's father works so I have to stay within a certain distance from him, legally. I am a psychologist in Silver Spring (I do telehealth so I can move anywhere). I'm less concerned about elementary school (though yes, I have heard many stores through my 7 years working with children and parents here) and more concerned about MS and HS, where I've been hearing about the pressure from my clients and even others I meet outside of my profession when they talk about their children's experiences in high school. I have treated SO many kids anxious about not getting into a magnet program because of the messaging they receive from guidance counselors about having to go to a "state school" (oh no!) if you don't get into a magnet program. I have treated so many teens whose peers are doing college visits their freshman year of high school and scoff at those who even consider applying to state schools or small liberal arts colleges. I hear about all the pressure to pad your application with AP's and all the talk with peers comparing grades and obsessed about being in the top percent so they can get into a "good" college. I'm a midwestern farm girl who went to the college that had a horse on the cover and solely because of that and only applied there so I could join the college rodeo. I didn't spend my high school years stressed about hours of homework and getting into competitive colleges. No one I know went outside of the state college system or even talked about college. We just picked an in-state college that fit with our interests. I just remember having fun with my friends in high school, not doing hours of homework every night. And I have a PhD and have been in prestigious positions. My high school is ranked 1/10 on goodschools.org. I had some excellent teachers and obviously am doing just fine. So this whole world here is just not my jam. I'm not saying I want to move to a rural area, because I don't, I just want a more laid back vibe. I agree that Silver Spring is more laid back than some areas in MCPS and the surrounding counties, but after hundreds of people saying the same thing about the academic pressure they experience in high school especially, but beginning in middle school for sure, I am weary about staying here. People say there are less competitive schools in MCPS and I am specifically asking if anyone knows which ones those are. Working with the teens in this area for the past 7 years has me definitely concerned about the general atmosphere in this area as a whole, and the cost of living is very high. But, I absolutely want input on which particular schools or cities might be more laid back. My budget is 300's or low 400's. So I need a combo of something affordable (rent $2k or below or a house to purchase that a mortgage won't cost me over $2k-ish per month). I don't know how single parents make it around here!

I think all the Silver Spring schools, with the possible exception of Blair, are pretty laid back. For HS, they're all part of either the Downcounty Consortium or the Northeast Consortium, so that provides some level of flexibility in case your child would be interested in one more than another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. MoCo for all its faults actually has a lot of resources comparatively for autism. Are you sure about leaving? Also while I get what you say about test scores, you may feel differently for MS and HS. Especially with your kid neurodiverse, it’s better not to have to move again. Have you considered Rockville? Not all of the MoCo schools are high pressure. Another option to consider is Glover Park in DC which has more affordable apartments, or Capitol Hill. My DS with mild ASD is finishing up elementary in DCPS and we have been very happy. There are also charters like Two Rivers that are very sweet and nurturing, no pressure. Typically you can get a spot there in 5th now easily.

Not necessarily trying to move out of MoCo, just have to sell our home so I have to move and want to find where schools from k-12 are more laid back - less homework, less pressure.

[Anonymous]

The Magruder and Rockville clusters are also less competitive-seeming than some others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies thus far - I should add that I do not work in Arlington, that's where my son's father works so I have to stay within a certain distance from him, legally. I am a psychologist in Silver Spring (I do telehealth so I can move anywhere). I'm less concerned about elementary school (though yes, I have heard many stores through my 7 years working with children and parents here) and more concerned about MS and HS, where I've been hearing about the pressure from my clients and even others I meet outside of my profession when they talk about their children's experiences in high school. I have treated SO many kids anxious about not getting into a magnet program because of the messaging they receive from guidance counselors about having to go to a "state school" (oh no!) if you don't get into a magnet program. I have treated so many teens whose peers are doing college visits their freshman year of high school and scoff at those who even consider applying to state schools or small liberal arts colleges. I hear about all the pressure to pad your application with AP's and all the talk with peers comparing grades and obsessed about being in the top percent so they can get into a "good" college. I'm a midwestern farm girl who went to the college that had a horse on the cover and solely because of that and only applied there so I could join the college rodeo. I didn't spend my high school years stressed about hours of homework and getting into competitive colleges. No one I know went outside of the state college system or even talked about college. We just picked an in-state college that fit with our interests. I just remember having fun with my friends in high school, not doing hours of homework every night. And I have a PhD and have been in prestigious positions. My high school is ranked 1/10 on goodschools.org. I had some excellent teachers and obviously am doing just fine. So this whole world here is just not my jam. I'm not saying I want to move to a rural area, because I don't, I just want a more laid back vibe. I agree that Silver Spring is more laid back than some areas in MCPS and the surrounding counties, but after hundreds of people saying the same thing about the academic pressure they experience in high school especially, but beginning in middle school for sure, I am weary about staying here. People say there are less competitive schools in MCPS and I am specifically asking if anyone knows which ones those are. Working with the teens in this area for the past 7 years has me definitely concerned about the general atmosphere in this area as a whole, and the cost of living is very high. But, I absolutely want input on which particular schools or cities might be more laid back. My budget is 300's or low 400's. So I need a combo of something affordable (rent $2k or below or a house to purchase that a mortgage won't cost me over $2k-ish per month). I don't know how single parents make it around here!

Contrary to most people who are posting here, I'd suggest that most MCPS schools are the same. Yes there are some demographic differences but the a kid from find the pressure cooker classes anywhere. They can also strive to find a less stressful curriculum. You don't have to take 4-5 APs. That's a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies thus far - I should add that I do not work in Arlington, that's where my son's father works so I have to stay within a certain distance from him, legally. I am a psychologist in Silver Spring (I do telehealth so I can move anywhere). I'm less concerned about elementary school (though yes, I have heard many stores through my 7 years working with children and parents here) and more concerned about MS and HS, where I've been hearing about the pressure from my clients and even others I meet outside of my profession when they talk about their children's experiences in high school. I have treated SO many kids anxious about not getting into a magnet program because of the messaging they receive from guidance counselors about having to go to a "state school" (oh no!) if you don't get into a magnet program. I have treated so many teens whose peers are doing college visits their freshman year of high school and scoff at those who even consider applying to state schools or small liberal arts colleges. I hear about all the pressure to pad your application with AP's and all the talk with peers comparing grades and obsessed about being in the top percent so they can get into a "good" college. I'm a midwestern farm girl who went to the college that had a horse on the cover and solely because of that and only applied there so I could join the college rodeo. I didn't spend my high school years stressed about hours of homework and getting into competitive colleges. No one I know went outside of the state college system or even talked about college. We just picked an in-state college that fit with our interests. I just remember having fun with my friends in high school, not doing hours of homework every night. And I have a PhD and have been in prestigious positions. My high school is ranked 1/10 on goodschools.org. I had some excellent teachers and obviously am doing just fine. So this whole world here is just not my jam. I'm not saying I want to move to a rural area, because I don't, I just want a more laid back vibe. I agree that Silver Spring is more laid back than some areas in MCPS and the surrounding counties, but after hundreds of people saying the same thing about the academic pressure they experience in high school especially, but beginning in middle school for sure, I am weary about staying here. People say there are less competitive schools in MCPS and I am specifically asking if anyone knows which ones those are. Working with the teens in this area for the past 7 years has me definitely concerned about the general atmosphere in this area as a whole, and the cost of living is very high. But, I absolutely want input on which particular schools or cities might be more laid back. My budget is 300's or low 400's. So I need a combo of something affordable (rent $2k or below or a house to purchase that a mortgage won't cost me over $2k-ish per month). I don't know how single parents make it around here!

Actually, none of them were.

Probably most of those clients were at the “W” schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies thus far - I should add that I do not work in Arlington, that's where my son's father works so I have to stay within a certain distance from him, legally. I am a psychologist in Silver Spring (I do telehealth so I can move anywhere). I'm less concerned about elementary school (though yes, I have heard many stores through my 7 years working with children and parents here) and more concerned about MS and HS, where I've been hearing about the pressure from my clients and even others I meet outside of my profession when they talk about their children's experiences in high school. I have treated SO many kids anxious about not getting into a magnet program because of the messaging they receive from guidance counselors about having to go to a "state school" (oh no!) if you don't get into a magnet program. I have treated so many teens whose peers are doing college visits their freshman year of high school and scoff at those who even consider applying to state schools or small liberal arts colleges. I hear about all the pressure to pad your application with AP's and all the talk with peers comparing grades and obsessed about being in the top percent so they can get into a "good" college. I'm a midwestern farm girl who went to the college that had a horse on the cover and solely because of that and only applied there so I could join the college rodeo. I didn't spend my high school years stressed about hours of homework and getting into competitive colleges. No one I know went outside of the state college system or even talked about college. We just picked an in-state college that fit with our interests. I just remember having fun with my friends in high school, not doing hours of homework every night. And I have a PhD and have been in prestigious positions. My high school is ranked 1/10 on goodschools.org. I had some excellent teachers and obviously am doing just fine. So this whole world here is just not my jam. I'm not saying I want to move to a rural area, because I don't, I just want a more laid back vibe. I agree that Silver Spring is more laid back than some areas in MCPS and the surrounding counties, but after hundreds of people saying the same thing about the academic pressure they experience in high school especially, but beginning in middle school for sure, I am weary about staying here. People say there are less competitive schools in MCPS and I am specifically asking if anyone knows which ones those are. Working with the teens in this area for the past 7 years has me definitely concerned about the general atmosphere in this area as a whole, and the cost of living is very high. But, I absolutely want input on which particular schools or cities might be more laid back. My budget is 300's or low 400's. So I need a combo of something affordable (rent $2k or below or a house to purchase that a mortgage won't cost me over $2k-ish per month). I don't know how single parents make it around here!

Probably most of those clients were at the “W” schools.

Actually none of them were

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies thus far - I should add that I do not work in Arlington, that's where my son's father works so I have to stay within a certain distance from him, legally. I am a psychologist in Silver Spring (I do telehealth so I can move anywhere). I'm less concerned about elementary school (though yes, I have heard many stores through my 7 years working with children and parents here) and more concerned about MS and HS, where I've been hearing about the pressure from my clients and even others I meet outside of my profession when they talk about their children's experiences in high school. I have treated SO many kids anxious about not getting into a magnet program because of the messaging they receive from guidance counselors about having to go to a "state school" (oh no!) if you don't get into a magnet program. I have treated so many teens whose peers are doing college visits their freshman year of high school and scoff at those who even consider applying to state schools or small liberal arts colleges. I hear about all the pressure to pad your application with AP's and all the talk with peers comparing grades and obsessed about being in the top percent so they can get into a "good" college. I'm a midwestern farm girl who went to the college that had a horse on the cover and solely because of that and only applied there so I could join the college rodeo. I didn't spend my high school years stressed about hours of homework and getting into competitive colleges. No one I know went outside of the state college system or even talked about college. We just picked an in-state college that fit with our interests. I just remember having fun with my friends in high school, not doing hours of homework every night. And I have a PhD and have been in prestigious positions. My high school is ranked 1/10 on goodschools.org. I had some excellent teachers and obviously am doing just fine. So this whole world here is just not my jam. I'm not saying I want to move to a rural area, because I don't, I just want a more laid back vibe. I agree that Silver Spring is more laid back than some areas in MCPS and the surrounding counties, but after hundreds of people saying the same thing about the academic pressure they experience in high school especially, but beginning in middle school for sure, I am weary about staying here. People say there are less competitive schools in MCPS and I am specifically asking if anyone knows which ones those are. Working with the teens in this area for the past 7 years has me definitely concerned about the general atmosphere in this area as a whole, and the cost of living is very high. But, I absolutely want input on which particular schools or cities might be more laid back. My budget is 300's or low 400's. So I need a combo of something affordable (rent $2k or below or a house to purchase that a mortgage won't cost me over $2k-ish per month). I don't know how single parents make it around here!

Probably most of those clients were at the “W” schools.

DP.. maybe, but I'll tell you that as a parent of one magnet student and one not (both in HS), the non magnet younger one did feel pressure, but not from the parents. Most kids compare themselves to each other, especially their sibling. But, we have made it clear to DC that we don't push DC at all to be in a magnet. DC has their own interests, and that's fine with us.

We are in the RM cluster. RM students can take as many challenging courses as they want, including IB classes in 11th/12th, or not.

Don't know about IEP there, though.

[Anonymous]

If you're open to staying in Silver Spring, Flora Singer Elementary has a learning center that serves kids with special needs. I have friends and neighbors who have had kids with autism spectrum diagnoses go there and have reported very good experiences. And it's a nice, friendly, down-to-earth diverse neighborhood school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're open to staying in Silver Spring, Flora Singer Elementary has a learning center that serves kids with special needs. I have friends and neighbors who have had kids with autism spectrum diagnoses go there and have reported very good experiences. And it's a nice, friendly, down-to-earth diverse neighborhood school.

Thank you, that's right by my current house. Great to know, though I don't think I can afford anything in this area on my own.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think there's a bit of selection bias at work here, and I don't blame you. You are seeing a small cross-section of kids -- those stressed out enough to seek psychological support.

As a counterpoint, I come into contact with TPMS and Blair kids all the time and they are uniformly happy, well-adjusted, and confident young people. But that's also selection bias.

The point is that you will find stressed out and anxious kids everywhere, particularly in the DMV. Just make sure your own kid doesn't stress themselves out and has healthy outlets, which I'm sure you will do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Magruder and Rockville clusters are also less competitive-seeming than some others.

This

[Anonymous]

OP, your posts are interesting because that’s basically what my therapist warns me about: the pressure cooker schools/parents’ effect on their kids, that these kids end up seeing her. A telltale sign of kids from these families/areas is almost the first thing those kids do is compare/brag about how much they know, and they try to see how much my kids know by comparison. Really sad and alarming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think there's a bit of selection bias at work here, and I don't blame you. You are seeing a small cross-section of kids -- those stressed out enough to seek psychological support.

As a counterpoint, I come into contact with TPMS and Blair kids all the time and they are uniformly happy, well-adjusted, and confident young people. But that's also selection bias.

The point is that you will find stressed out and anxious kids everywhere, particularly in the DMV. Just make sure your own kid doesn't stress themselves out and has healthy outlets, which I'm sure you will do!

Yes, you're right and I'm definitely aware of the bias; however, there are situations that aren't based on bias. For example, one high school teacher at a public high school told their AP class that if the students did not get a specific grade on that specific AP exam that they would not write them a letter of recommendation for college. These are the kinds of stories I hear, not just individuals who are stressed about getting into college. Also, lots of students visiting campuses from freshman year on is not normal. Families taking trips just to visit colleges starting at 14. These are the kinds of things you just don't hear other places, and I've treated kids in numerous states at this point in my career. There will be happy and unhappy kids everywhere, absolutely. But there is a culture here that is very different than other places in terms of the focus on elite colleges. There's also a difference between offering AP classes and saying well it's the kids' choice to take or not take, but then teachers are continuing to push the kids to take them because of how good it will look. So then you as a parent have to decide whether you are going to tell your kid, who really wants to be like all their friends and please their teacher and believes they must take 4 AP's or they won't get into an elite school, which is super important apparently. That's different than just having the option to take or not take. I've also spoken with my massage therapist about his daughter's experience and many others, not just clients. It's just a different world out here so I'm trying to shield my son as much as possible while living in this general area. I have to make a choice about where to move next year when we sell the house and want to be informed about my options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Magruder and Rockville clusters are also less competitive-seeming than some others.

This

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We recently moved to Olney from DC and while we've not had direct exp. w/services, but I have friends that do in MCPS and while no IEP process is easy, they do feel supported.

I will say the pace of life feels slower, more mellow, all in a positive way. And housing is pretty affordable. Lots of nice condos and townhouses around, big green spaces and everything is pretty kid oriented. Some of the elementary schools are smaller, specifically Greenwood and Belmont.

Good luck, OP!

I was going to also say Olney. I grew up there and it's pretty low key. It's far out IMO but affordable and safe.