Where to move for lower pressure schools?

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

I am currently living in Silver Spring and about to be a single mom so I am looking to move next summer before my son starts kindergarten. I’m looking for something more affordable (likely I’ll need a townhome), within an hour or so from Arlington without traffic, with schools that don’t have so much academic pressure and crazy homework loads even for young kids. Would appreciate any and all respectful input and places to consider. I will be posting the same thing in the Fairfax county thread and seriously considering Frederick as well. Really any neighboring counties. My head is just spinning with options are and I’m not really interested in school rankings because I think they mostly reflect SES rather than teaching quality, supportive administration, etc. My son will likely get an autism spectrum diagnosis but it’s very mild. That said, it’s possible he will need some services so that is something else I want to consider. He’s also incredibly bright so having options for some gifted programming would be nice, if he ends up needing more of a challenge. But I want to school to be something that is not crazy stressful because the rest of his life might be, plus I just want him to enjoy being a kid! Obviously I want him to have a solid education in a safe school.

Thank you!
-Stressed out mama

[Anonymous]

Are you ok with moving out of MD? What is your budget?

I would suggest a smaller home near Lake Barcroft, usually 600K-750K. It’s a very safe, family-friendly area and kids actually play OUTSIDE.
Otherwise, a condo or townhome in Burke would fit the bill. Safe and family-friendly, too.

Having a child with ASD, you might want to cross-post in the SN forum.

I’m sorry that I don’t know much about MD. I have one divorced mom friend who bought a nice, smaller townhome close to Glen Echo Park with really good schools but that was a few years back. It was okay for her getting into VA for her job in Rosslyn. Don’t know much about home prices or the state of traffic these days. I wish you the best of luck in your search!

[Anonymous]

If you're working in Arlington, I'd look for a school/home as close to your work as possible, especially as a single parent. Post in SN and see what reccs you get - people there are generally really helpful.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Hmm. MoCo for all its faults actually has a lot of resources comparatively for autism. Are you sure about leaving? Also while I get what you say about test scores, you may feel differently for MS and HS. Especially with your kid neurodiverse, it’s better not to have to move again. Have you considered Rockville? Not all of the MoCo schools are high pressure. Another option to consider is Glover Park in DC which has more affordable apartments, or Capitol Hill. My DS with mild ASD is finishing up elementary in DCPS and we have been very happy. There are also charters like Two Rivers that are very sweet and nurturing, no pressure. Typically you can get a spot there in 5th now easily.

[Anonymous]

I have a child on the autism spectrum, mild as well. MCPS has been pretty good with support services. I would think hard before moving out of MCPS.

My child was in the MCPS Asperger's program at Sligo Creek ES. They really tailored the supports and approach to help him be successful.

MCPS also has wonderful pre-k classrooms that are great at prepping SN kids for school. They are free but you have to get your child qualified through the Child Find process. Info is on the MCPS website.

I'm not saying stay if this area is not suited for all your needs but you should know that there are great supports for ASD kids. Moco itself is grossly competitive with everything and I totally understand the desire to just slam the door on it and move.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

We recently moved to Olney from DC and while we've not had direct exp. w/services, but I have friends that do in MCPS and while no IEP process is easy, they do feel supported.

I will say the pace of life feels slower, more mellow, all in a positive way. And housing is pretty affordable. Lots of nice condos and townhouses around, big green spaces and everything is pretty kid oriented. Some of the elementary schools are smaller, specifically Greenwood and Belmont.

Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your child is not yet school-aged, so you haven't tried MCPS yet.

Honestly, Silver Spring has some of the most laid-back schools around, certainly not pressure cookers, so I'm kind of struggling to figure out what you think the schools are like and what you are trying to avoid by moving to another district.

Is there a specific story you've heard that is alarming you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your child is not yet school-aged, so you haven't tried MCPS yet.

Honestly, Silver Spring has some of the most laid-back schools around, certainly not pressure cookers, so I'm kind of struggling to figure out what you think the schools are like and what you are trying to avoid by moving to another district.

Is there a specific story you've heard that is alarming you?

I was thinking the same thing. My kids are in elementary school and thus far, it’s not a pressure cooker. Homework assignments vary by school but it was essentially voluntary prior to 3rd grade and in 3rd my kids came home with a daily math worksheet and request to read each night. Maybe it’s different in middle and high school, but I don’t know any MCPS families that feel like elementary is too much pressure. I can’t speak to ASD support and am glad you’re getting feedback on that. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

You should ask on the special needs forum as they will know schools that might have autism programs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi all,

I am currently living in Silver Spring and about to be a single mom so I am looking to move next summer before my son starts kindergarten. I’m looking for something more affordable (likely I’ll need a townhome), within an hour or so from Arlington without traffic, with schools that don’t have so much academic pressure and crazy homework loads even for young kids. Would appreciate any and all respectful input and places to consider. I will be posting the same thing in the Fairfax county thread and seriously considering Frederick as well. Really any neighboring counties. My head is just spinning with options are and I’m not really interested in school rankings because I think they mostly reflect SES rather than teaching quality, supportive administration, etc. My son will likely get an autism spectrum diagnosis but it’s very mild. That said, it’s possible he will need some services so that is something else I want to consider. He’s also incredibly bright so having options for some gifted programming would be nice, if he ends up needing more of a challenge. But I want to school to be something that is not crazy stressful because the rest of his life might be, plus I just want him to enjoy being a kid! Obviously I want him to have a solid education in a safe school.

Thank you!
-Stressed out mama

Look at lower rated FCPS schools. There is no pressure if there are no expectations. Groveton, Hybla Valley, Mt Vernon Woods, Woodlawn, Mt Eagle, Cameron...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your child is not yet school-aged, so you haven't tried MCPS yet.

Honestly, Silver Spring has some of the most laid-back schools around, certainly not pressure cookers, so I'm kind of struggling to figure out what you think the schools are like and what you are trying to avoid by moving to another district.

Is there a specific story you've heard that is alarming you?

+1 Silver Spring schools sound like a good fit for you

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies thus far - I should add that I do not work in Arlington, that's where my son's father works so I have to stay within a certain distance from him, legally. I am a psychologist in Silver Spring (I do telehealth so I can move anywhere). I'm less concerned about elementary school (though yes, I have heard many stores through my 7 years working with children and parents here) and more concerned about MS and HS, where I've been hearing about the pressure from my clients and even others I meet outside of my profession when they talk about their children's experiences in high school. I have treated SO many kids anxious about not getting into a magnet program because of the messaging they receive from guidance counselors about having to go to a "state school" (oh no!) if you don't get into a magnet program. I have treated so many teens whose peers are doing college visits their freshman year of high school and scoff at those who even consider applying to state schools or small liberal arts colleges. I hear about all the pressure to pad your application with AP's and all the talk with peers comparing grades and obsessed about being in the top percent so they can get into a "good" college. I'm a midwestern farm girl who went to the college that had a horse on the cover and solely because of that and only applied there so I could join the college rodeo. I didn't spend my high school years stressed about hours of homework and getting into competitive colleges. No one I know went outside of the state college system or even talked about college. We just picked an in-state college that fit with our interests. I just remember having fun with my friends in high school, not doing hours of homework every night. And I have a PhD and have been in prestigious positions. My high school is ranked 1/10 on goodschools.org. I had some excellent teachers and obviously am doing just fine. So this whole world here is just not my jam. I'm not saying I want to move to a rural area, because I don't, I just want a more laid back vibe. I agree that Silver Spring is more laid back than some areas in MCPS and the surrounding counties, but after hundreds of people saying the same thing about the academic pressure they experience in high school especially, but beginning in middle school for sure, I am weary about staying here. People say there are less competitive schools in MCPS and I am specifically asking if anyone knows which ones those are. Working with the teens in this area for the past 7 years has me definitely concerned about the general atmosphere in this area as a whole, and the cost of living is very high. But, I absolutely want input on which particular schools or cities might be more laid back. My budget is 300's or low 400's. So I need a combo of something affordable (rent $2k or below or a house to purchase that a mortgage won't cost me over $2k-ish per month). I don't know how single parents make it around here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies thus far - I should add that I do not work in Arlington, that's where my son's father works so I have to stay within a certain distance from him, legally. I am a psychologist in Silver Spring (I do telehealth so I can move anywhere). I'm less concerned about elementary school (though yes, I have heard many stores through my 7 years working with children and parents here) and more concerned about MS and HS, where I've been hearing about the pressure from my clients and even others I meet outside of my profession when they talk about their children's experiences in high school. I have treated SO many kids anxious about not getting into a magnet program because of the messaging they receive from guidance counselors about having to go to a "state school" (oh no!) if you don't get into a magnet program. I have treated so many teens whose peers are doing college visits their freshman year of high school and scoff at those who even consider applying to state schools or small liberal arts colleges. I hear about all the pressure to pad your application with AP's and all the talk with peers comparing grades and obsessed about being in the top percent so they can get into a "good" college. I'm a midwestern farm girl who went to the college that had a horse on the cover and solely because of that and only applied there so I could join the college rodeo. I didn't spend my high school years stressed about hours of homework and getting into competitive colleges. No one I know went outside of the state college system or even talked about college. We just picked an in-state college that fit with our interests. I just remember having fun with my friends in high school, not doing hours of homework every night. And I have a PhD and have been in prestigious positions. My high school is ranked 1/10 on goodschools.org. I had some excellent teachers and obviously am doing just fine. So this whole world here is just not my jam. I'm not saying I want to move to a rural area, because I don't, I just want a more laid back vibe. I agree that Silver Spring is more laid back than some areas in MCPS and the surrounding counties, but after hundreds of people saying the same thing about the academic pressure they experience in high school especially, but beginning in middle school for sure, I am weary about staying here. People say there are less competitive schools in MCPS and I am specifically asking if anyone knows which ones those are. Working with the teens in this area for the past 7 years has me definitely concerned about the general atmosphere in this area as a whole, and the cost of living is very high. But, I absolutely want input on which particular schools or cities might be more laid back. My budget is 300's or low 400's. So I need a combo of something affordable (rent $2k or below or a house to purchase that a mortgage won't cost me over $2k-ish per month). I don't know how single parents make it around here!

Probably most of those clients were at the “W” schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We recently moved to Olney from DC and while we've not had direct exp. w/services, but I have friends that do in MCPS and while no IEP process is easy, they do feel supported.

I will say the pace of life feels slower, more mellow, all in a positive way. And housing is pretty affordable. Lots of nice condos and townhouses around, big green spaces and everything is pretty kid oriented. Some of the elementary schools are smaller, specifically Greenwood and Belmont.

Good luck, OP!

Awesome, thanks so much for this info, I'll look into Olney!

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m 9:55 and also a psychologist.

With the additional information you provided, you might consider Frederick or upcounty MoCo. My kids are in a Silver Spring elementary (DCC for high school, in-bounds for Einstein) and it can still be more of a pressure cooker than W school parents believe it to be. Not in the same way, but there are TONS of parents here with PhDs who have very high academic expectations for their kids. I wish some of them would take it down a notch.

That said, there are plenty of reasonable parents and some of what you describe comes down to you as a parent. My oldest is in fifth and I’ve already had to be very explicit with her about these kinds of things, e.g., telling her clearly that her zoned middle school does not “suck,” no matter what her peers say. IME, there’s enough diversity, of all kinds, that she doesn’t feel much academic pressure from peers the way she likely would in a W feeder. You’re smart to ask for this feedback now.