Mom speaking to child in another language during playdate

[Anonymous]

Wow. Our school community has lots of bilingual (and trilingual) families. It would never occur to me that speaking to eachother in their native tongue would be considered rude or a faux pas.

[Anonymous]

My mom frequently speaks to me in her native language, even in front of my husband and kids who don't speak that language. I think it's rude. Even if she's being a jerk to me (I would like witnesses, LOL).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I judge people who can only speak English in the US.

Seriously, most native English speakers live in first world countries and have opportunities and resources to become bilingual at the very least. Why would they not become educated?

Blame it on our educational system that does not value teaching languages at an early age, which is what other countries do that allow their citizens to be bilingual. It's much harder to learn a new language in high school than if we started them with daily foreign language in elementary school.

My kids are in a school that teaches Spanish starting in K, but that's rare around here, and it's also only once a week so they're really not getting much out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where four people are out to dinner and they all speak one language at least passably well, is it polite for two of them to carry on a conversation in a language the other two cannot understand?

Adults can do what they want. Children are being shaped by their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yo can get her to stop by smiling and saying "What does that mean?" after every single sentence.

LOL good idea. Even just cocking your head and saying, "what?" like you didn't catch it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Our school community has lots of bilingual (and trilingual) families. It would never occur to me that speaking to eachother in their native tongue would be considered rude or a faux pas.

Well, now you know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom frequently speaks to me in her native language, even in front of my husband and kids who don't speak that language. I think it's rude. Even if she's being a jerk to me (I would like witnesses, LOL).

So tell her that. If she doesn't stop, then don't see her anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened during a one-on-one play date yesterday and I found it rude. Convince me otherwise.

We are bilingual too so I get it. I speak to my child in our other language exclusively when we are at home, with family or in public (somewhere we are not really interacting with others). But if it is a one-on-one situation I can’t imagine speaking to my child 80% of the time in a language that the other family doesn’t understand.

You’re simply envious of a parent and child who speak a language you don’t, and a busybody to boot.

[Anonymous]

I do this all the time and did with my three kids. I don’t speak to my children extensively during play dates except to offer a quick direction or two.

[Anonymous]

Weird that you care. What do you think she’s saying to her kid that’s so interesting? “Yes, jon, we’ll leave soon! I know, this lady is very uptight. She can’t understand us, don’t worry!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Our school community has lots of bilingual (and trilingual) families. It would never occur to me that speaking to eachother in their native tongue would be considered rude or a faux pas.

Well, now you know!

+1. In front of other people who don't speak the language actively excluding them? Yes, rude. Do people come from places with no manners? Wasn't there a thread about how rude it is to turn a back on someone recently and how in most cultures that is rude? This is the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Not offensive to me. I assume they are more comfortable speaking that language. Even if not, it’s just not something I’d get offended about, because I don’t look for reasons to be offended.

I might joke to the mom that I hoped she wasn’t complaining about the messiness of my house or something, but I’m a jokester like that. Which may offend, but I don’t care lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird that you care. What do you think she’s saying to her kid that’s so interesting? “Yes, jon, we’ll leave soon! I know, this lady is very uptight. She can’t understand us, don’t worry!”

OP asked if it was rude. It doesn't matter what she thinks they're saying -- it's rude to speak in another language in front of people who don't understand it.

It's about commonly held rules of behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not offensive to me. I assume they are more comfortable speaking that language. Even if not, it’s just not something I’d get offended about, because I don’t look for reasons to be offended.

I might joke to the mom that I hoped she wasn’t complaining about the messiness of my house or something, but I’m a jokester like that. Which may offend, but I don’t care lol

If they were "more comfortable" taking off all their clothes or smoking crack in your living room, would that also be not offensive to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird that you care. What do you think she’s saying to her kid that’s so interesting? “Yes, jon, we’ll leave soon! I know, this lady is very uptight. She can’t understand us, don’t worry!”

OP asked if it was rude. It doesn't matter what she thinks they're saying -- it's rude to speak in another language in front of people who don't understand it.

It's about commonly held rules of behavior.

If it was commonly held, we wouldn’t be having a discussion about it.