Mom speaking to child in another language during playdate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not rude and I’m appalled as someone raising a bilingual
Child yourself you wouldn’t get it. Definitely not wasting time convincing you.

"I'm appalled that you're appalled by my rudeness!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I judge people who can only speak English in the US.

Seriously, most native English speakers live in first world countries and have opportunities and resources to become bilingual at the very least. Why would they not become educated?

Ok. I'm one of the people who is pointing out how rude it is, and English is not my only language. It definitely IS possible to be bilingual (and even trilingual and more!) without being an uncouth boor. The fact that you "judge" people who instill good manners in their children does not make you as smart as you seem to think you are. Do better.

[Anonymous]

I live in a community that is highly multilingual. I've not heard anyone comment on people having side conversations in a common language. I don't get mad about my coworkers chatting in Spanish or Portuguese even though I can't understand. I think it's even more understandable if it's a parent and child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all, no one needs to “convince you,” they’re just allowed to have different perspectives on the matter.

My perspective—which I don’t care if you are “convinced by” or not—is that just as sometimes I pull my child aside to quietly correct her behavior in public, it’s fine to correct your child’s behavior in another language so that they get the message but aren’t embarrassed by “getting in trouble” in front of others.

Even if it’s not reprimanding, “Do you want some orange slices” is not fascinating conversation that everyone needs to be involved in. If you’re speaking directly to one person, even in a social setting, you don’t need to make the conversation about or accessible to everyone.

Like at a dinner party, multiple people are talking about multiple things. It wouldn’t be rude for two people who speak Spanish to speak in that language, if they’re having a few moments of focused conversation just to one another, like “Hey, how are you liking your new job?” Not everyone needs to be involved in every moment of every social conversation.

Were you raised in a barn? You think it's socially acceptable to speak in another language at a dinner party? You are incredibly rude. No, that is not socially acceptable. It's also not acceptable to whisper, in case you missed that lesson in elementary school.

Oh, I get it, you’re the over-anxious hostess who thinks that dinner parties should equal everyone talking about the same thing, one person at a time. Do you keep notecards by your place in case there is a lull in the conversation? I get it, you are an inexperienced and infrequent hostess. Our frequent dinner parties are lively, spontaneous, free-flowing and fun. Enjoy your meat and two veg and dry conversation.

[Anonymous]

Where four people are out to dinner and they all speak one language at least passably well, is it polite for two of them to carry on a conversation in a language the other two cannot understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where four people are out to dinner and they all speak one language at least passably well, is it polite for two of them to carry on a conversation in a language the other two cannot understand?

I mean sure let’s dive into every conceivable situation, but yeah…as long as the other two are previously engaged in conversation. If my girlfriend and I are discussing “The Real Housewives of Potomac” and the other husband asks my husband about his new job or his recent golf outing, that’s fine. It’s not like their discussing nuclear arms deals or affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all, no one needs to “convince you,” they’re just allowed to have different perspectives on the matter.

My perspective—which I don’t care if you are “convinced by” or not—is that just as sometimes I pull my child aside to quietly correct her behavior in public, it’s fine to correct your child’s behavior in another language so that they get the message but aren’t embarrassed by “getting in trouble” in front of others.

Even if it’s not reprimanding, “Do you want some orange slices” is not fascinating conversation that everyone needs to be involved in. If you’re speaking directly to one person, even in a social setting, you don’t need to make the conversation about or accessible to everyone.

Like at a dinner party, multiple people are talking about multiple things. It wouldn’t be rude for two people who speak Spanish to speak in that language, if they’re having a few moments of focused conversation just to one another, like “Hey, how are you liking your new job?” Not everyone needs to be involved in every moment of every social conversation.

Were you raised in a barn? You think it's socially acceptable to speak in another language at a dinner party? You are incredibly rude. No, that is not socially acceptable. It's also not acceptable to whisper, in case you missed that lesson in elementary school.

Oh, I get it, you’re the over-anxious hostess who thinks that dinner parties should equal everyone talking about the same thing, one person at a time. Do you keep notecards by your place in case there is a lull in the conversation? I get it, you are an inexperienced and infrequent hostess. Our frequent dinner parties are lively, spontaneous, free-flowing and fun. Enjoy your meat and two veg and dry conversation.

You sound nasty as hell. I doubt your dinner parties are any better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where four people are out to dinner and they all speak one language at least passably well, is it polite for two of them to carry on a conversation in a language the other two cannot understand?

I mean sure let’s dive into every conceivable situation, but yeah…as long as the other two are previously engaged in conversation. If my girlfriend and I are discussing “The Real Housewives of Potomac” and the other husband asks my husband about his new job or his recent golf outing, that’s fine. It’s not like their discussing nuclear arms deals or affairs.

In your examples, the people carrying on the conversations are from two different households. That is different from the OP's situation. If you wanted a valid comparison, you would say "If one husband and wife are talking about something pertaining to only their household." For example, if the husband starts asking the wife about the painter they hired, and whether they should choose the blue paint or the aqua, and which one of them will be home on Tuesday to let the painting crew in, etc. Yes, this also would be rude to do in front of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where four people are out to dinner and they all speak one language at least passably well, is it polite for two of them to carry on a conversation in a language the other two cannot understand?

I mean sure let’s dive into every conceivable situation, but yeah…as long as the other two are previously engaged in conversation. If my girlfriend and I are discussing “The Real Housewives of Potomac” and the other husband asks my husband about his new job or his recent golf outing, that’s fine. It’s not like their discussing nuclear arms deals or affairs.

In your examples, the people carrying on the conversations are from two different households. That is different from the OP's situation. If you wanted a valid comparison, you would say "If one husband and wife are talking about something pertaining to only their household." For example, if the husband starts asking the wife about the painter they hired, and whether they should choose the blue paint or the aqua, and which one of them will be home on Tuesday to let the painting crew in, etc. Yes, this also would be rude to do in front of others.

You literally just posted a completely different scenario from the OP’s, and I responded to it. Asked and answered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where four people are out to dinner and they all speak one language at least passably well, is it polite for two of them to carry on a conversation in a language the other two cannot understand?

I mean sure let’s dive into every conceivable situation, but yeah…as long as the other two are previously engaged in conversation. If my girlfriend and I are discussing “The Real Housewives of Potomac” and the other husband asks my husband about his new job or his recent golf outing, that’s fine. It’s not like their discussing nuclear arms deals or affairs.

In your examples, the people carrying on the conversations are from two different households. That is different from the OP's situation. If you wanted a valid comparison, you would say "If one husband and wife are talking about something pertaining to only their household." For example, if the husband starts asking the wife about the painter they hired, and whether they should choose the blue paint or the aqua, and which one of them will be home on Tuesday to let the painting crew in, etc. Yes, this also would be rude to do in front of others.

You literally just posted a completely different scenario from the OP’s, and I responded to it. Asked and answered.

Different posters actually. That wasn’t me.

But carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where four people are out to dinner and they all speak one language at least passably well, is it polite for two of them to carry on a conversation in a language the other two cannot understand?

I mean sure let’s dive into every conceivable situation, but yeah…as long as the other two are previously engaged in conversation. If my girlfriend and I are discussing “The Real Housewives of Potomac” and the other husband asks my husband about his new job or his recent golf outing, that’s fine. It’s not like their discussing nuclear arms deals or affairs.

In your examples, the people carrying on the conversations are from two different households. That is different from the OP's situation. If you wanted a valid comparison, you would say "If one husband and wife are talking about something pertaining to only their household." For example, if the husband starts asking the wife about the painter they hired, and whether they should choose the blue paint or the aqua, and which one of them will be home on Tuesday to let the painting crew in, etc. Yes, this also would be rude to do in front of others.

You literally just posted a completely different scenario from the OP’s, and I responded to it. Asked and answered.

What are you talking about....I used YOUR example. I am not the pp that posted "Where four people are out to dinner."

[Anonymous]

You two should take this offline until you can figure out how to communicate better.

Perhaps over dinner!

[Anonymous]

What don't you ask her what she said? Don't blame other people for your communication failures

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I judge people who can only speak English in the US.

Seriously, most native English speakers live in first world countries and have opportunities and resources to become bilingual at the very least. Why would they not become educated?

This is the dumbest take. You can’t buy bilingual fluency. If both parents are monolingual they will not be able to raise a fully bilingual child without moving abroad for a long period of time. Some tutoring and language apps doesn't change that.

[Anonymous]

Yo can get her to stop by smiling and saying "What does that mean?" after every single sentence.