Can my mother get rid of my belongings without my permission ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biiiiiiiiitttttccchhhhhhhh if you don’t know now you know: STORAGE IS NOT FREE. See all those storage units you drive by on Route 3? Dude, those are BUSINESSES. They make money. People *pay money* to store their shyt if they can’t keep it in their house.

Want to store your shyt? PAY MONEY.

If they were “your things” you would have been paying to store YOUR THINGS in YOUR OWN STORAGE UNIT. If she’s paying to store stuff, that’s HER STUFF IN STORAGE.

And those places are expensive af

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biiiiiiiiitttttccchhhhhhhh if you don’t know now you know: STORAGE IS NOT FREE. See all those storage units you drive by on Route 3? Dude, those are BUSINESSES. They make money. People *pay money* to store their shyt if they can’t keep it in their house.

Want to store your shyt? PAY MONEY.

If they were “your things” you would have been paying to store YOUR THINGS in YOUR OWN STORAGE UNIT. If she’s paying to store stuff, that’s HER STUFF IN STORAGE.

I like you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biiiiiiiiitttttccchhhhhhhh if you don’t know now you know: STORAGE IS NOT FREE. See all those storage units you drive by on Route 3? Dude, those are BUSINESSES. They make money. People *pay money* to store their shyt if they can’t keep it in their house.

Want to store your shyt? PAY MONEY.

If they were “your things” you would have been paying to store YOUR THINGS in YOUR OWN STORAGE UNIT. If she’s paying to store stuff, that’s HER STUFF IN STORAGE.

I like you

It scares me that people like these two PPs are walking around. So mean....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:*important. If the unit was only in her name she can empty it.

I did make a post clarifying that I did give her money for it. I didn’t think it would be an issue, but here we are. The storage until was in her name. We were on speaking terms at that point. We agreed that we would all (siblings and mom) return to sort it out in the future. It just appears my mother and brother did that by themselves. I didn’t think it was so bizarre to make verbal agreement with family but I guess from all the PPs it’s not as common as I thought.

Then she had every right to dispose of the contents as she saw fit.

And given your family dynamic, you probably should have taken action a few years ago rather than count on an oral agreement. Lesson learned. If you want rights, get your name on the paperwork.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:*important. If the unit was only in her name she can empty it.

I did make a post clarifying that I did give her money for it. I didn’t think it would be an issue, but here we are. The storage until was in her name. We were on speaking terms at that point. We agreed that we would all (siblings and mom) return to sort it out in the future. It just appears my mother and brother did that by themselves. I didn’t think it was so bizarre to make verbal agreement with family but I guess from all the PPs it’s not as common as I thought.

But five years, OP. Come on. She probably thought you didn’t care.

If nobody had time in five years it didn't matter. Yeah, she could have said something, but... five years.

[Anonymous]

You acknowledge you haven’t been speaking to your Mom for some time. And it’s been years since you’ve ever used your stuff. That explains why your Mom didn’t reach out when she got rid of. If you were so worried about your stuff and what would happen to it, why didn’t you make the first overture to ask about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:*important. If the unit was only in her name she can empty it.

I did make a post clarifying that I did give her money for it. I didn’t think it would be an issue, but here we are. The storage until was in her name. We were on speaking terms at that point. We agreed that we would all (siblings and mom) return to sort it out in the future. It just appears my mother and brother did that by themselves. I didn’t think it was so bizarre to make verbal agreement with family but I guess from all the PPs it’s not as common as I thought.

But five years, OP. Come on. She probably thought you didn’t care.

+1 plus I’m getting serious “worthless junk of hoarders” vibe from this post. Completely dysfunctional family with estrangement. Check. Storage that goes on for years. Check. Storage in a boonies that is fodder for those reality shows about storage unit auctions. Check. OP, I promise you that stuff you were holding onto was 100% certified crap. Please just walk away.

I’m getting a different vibe. “Family stuff” makes me think furniture and sentimental items OP expected to inherit (or be given early) but mom gave it away instead of holding onto it indefinitely. That it needs to be sorted makes me think she means it needs to be divided among the siblings.

[Anonymous]

It is so rude to expect other people to deal with your physical crap. If it was so important, you should have dealt with it years ago.

A friend has carted around her relative's sentimental stuff for years and multiple moves. Every time she moved, she reminded the relative that the stuff was still in her closet/basement. The relative was always busy or living in a small space or whatever excuse. Now my friend is pregnant and needs to declutter and repurpose space in her home. She reached out to her relative and gave her 2 choices. I can ship you this stuff or take it to goodwill. Relative is annoyed and asked her to ship the items. No thank you for storing boxes for years and no offer to cover shipping costs. So unbelievably entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You all Are harsh. I will clarify, I gave my mom more than enough money for the storage unit when she moved. This isn’t a super expensive Dc storage. It’s $30 an month rural storage. Additionally, I partially supported my mother financially for a number of years. There is a bunch of family stuff in there that I wanted but at the time didn’t have the bandwidth to sort through. She didn’t either, which is why we stuck it in storage to deal with at a later date. I had three kids in 3 years so it wasn’t at the forefront of my mind. As for the coins, my brother agreed in writing to return them and not refuses to respond.

Oh, here comes the convenient details to add in on page 3.

[Anonymous]

You are a grown adult who should have paid for your own storage unit for this stuff. Sorry but no, if it was in her possession, she has the right to do whatever she wants with it. You sound ungrateful and no wonder she stopped speaking to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mother sounds like a nightmare. This is the kind of unrelenting pain a parent like her will cause. You will never just "get over it' when it comes to your stuff.

Get a lawyer and have them send a letter to your mom and your brother.

I'm sorry you are being tortured by your brother and mom. You deserve better.

Oh it’s a nightmare to have someone else pay for storing your crap when you are a grown-ass adult?

Oh it’s torture that someone else is paying to store your crap?

Here’s a thought: be an adult and pay for your own storage.

Better yet, don’t be a hoarder and have stuff you don’t use, or get a real job and buy a nice house that has enough room.

Yikes. You don't sound like you have normal emotions so it's no wonder you can't relate.

Normal people say, "I don't want to pay for your things to be stored with mine" or "If you want your things kept in my storage space, it will you should pay X amount per month."

Then, "Your brother and I are clearing out the storage space. Do you want your things back? If not, what do you want to do with them, because we can't take them anywhere for you."

Etc.

Normal people say, “Hey, thanks for storing my stuff for years and years for free. Can I help pay to move it to storage and help pay for storage for the next five years?”

How could OP have done that if she wasn't even told it the space was being cleared out?

Why does that matter? She knew the stuff has been there all along, it just wasn’t important until it got thrown out. She could have offered to pay at any time, not just after she found out it was being cleared out.

She’s has no activity op with any of this stuff for years.

[Anonymous]

OP, I saw your update.

OP, think of it this way: You learned a lesson, and sometimes lessons cost money.

Just drop it--in addition to all the physical baggage that is now gone...you have an opportunity to drop the mental baggage too.

It's just stuff. It's gone. Maybe the coins are with your brother. So what. Don't waste another second fuming that it's not fair or that they are yours....cut the cord. Choose to not focus on this toxic dump, and focus on something healthy and positive

[Anonymous]

OP I had a mentally ill mother and learned early on to never trust her with any of my belongings
Now you know too
I am sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:*important. If the unit was only in her name she can empty it.

I did make a post clarifying that I did give her money for it. I didn’t think it would be an issue, but here we are. The storage until was in her name. We were on speaking terms at that point. We agreed that we would all (siblings and mom) return to sort it out in the future. It just appears my mother and brother did that by themselves. I didn’t think it was so bizarre to make verbal agreement with family but I guess from all the PPs it’s not as common as I thought.

But five years, OP. Come on. She probably thought you didn’t care.

+1 plus I’m getting serious “worthless junk of hoarders” vibe from this post. Completely dysfunctional family with estrangement. Check. Storage that goes on for years. Check. Storage in a boonies that is fodder for those reality shows about storage unit auctions. Check. OP, I promise you that stuff you were holding onto was 100% certified crap. Please just walk away.

I’m getting a different vibe. “Family stuff” makes me think furniture and sentimental items OP expected to inherit (or be given early) but mom gave it away instead of holding onto it indefinitely. That it needs to be sorted makes me think she means it needs to be divided among the siblings.

If that’s the case, then they weren’t OP’s belongings and she has no right to them anyway.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing you can do. Your name was not on the storage space and as far as the law is concerned, it wasn't yours. Next time make space for your stuff or get your own unit.