Can my mother get rid of my belongings without my permission ?

[Anonymous]

My mother moved out of her house about five years ago. When she moved she placed some of her belongings and some of my belongings and my siblings belongings in a storage unit. I did not have space for the belongings in my house at that point. She and I had a falling out shortly after and had limited, but regular communication (we spoke on birthdays and holidays). In September of last year my mother ceased communications. I recently learned that she and my brother traveled up from out of state to clear out the storage unit. They did this while she and I were still speaking. They did not notify me or our other sister of this at all. In fact, the only reason we know about it is because out mom slipped and said something to my sister. I don’t know what happened to our belongings because she and our brother aren’t speaking to either one of us (long story short, my brother chose to include our abusive father in his wedding). Additionally, as a child my grandmother gave me sets of coins every year for Christmas. As my mom was moving, I noticed the sets of coins and notified her that I wanted to take them. She told me my brother was replacing the packaging. My brother told me at the time and in a recent text he would give them back to me. He has not returned them. How do I proceed? Neither my brother or my mom is responding to my requests. Do I get a lawyer? Not sure if I am just out of luck.

[Anonymous]

You are out of luck. You basically gave your belongings to your mother by not taking them with you when you moved. She was storing them for you as a courtesy. She ended that courtesy - that's not illegal. Next case.

[Anonymous]

You’d be better off focusing your energy on some therapy to resolve your desire to be caught up in this ongoing drama.

[Anonymous]

She can do whatever she wants with your belonging if the stuff was important you would of kept it with you.

[Anonymous]

Yep, unless you were paying rent or for the storage unit, you basically abandoned your belongings.

[Anonymous]

How long were these things at your mothers house and mother’s storage unit after you moved out? The time to claim these things was when you first left home or when she moved out of her house. You kind of abandoned them.

[Anonymous]

Don't see it as "out of luck"--see it as you are freed from having to take on a project and having to deal with your mother more.

Please let it go. Hiring a lawyer to get back things that your mother stored for you...paid for each month for YEARS--is really giving in to the dark side of you.

[Anonymous]

If you are over 25, yes.

[Anonymous]

She has been paying to store your very precious things for you for at least five years, if not your entire adult life.

You entrusted someone with whom you had a falling out with your very precious things.

If you wanted your very precious things, you should have acted sooner.

[Anonymous]

Biiiiiiiiitttttccchhhhhhhh if you don’t know now you know: STORAGE IS NOT FREE. See all those storage units you drive by on Route 3? Dude, those are BUSINESSES. They make money. People *pay money* to store their shyt if they can’t keep it in their house.

Want to store your shyt? PAY MONEY.

If they were “your things” you would have been paying to store YOUR THINGS in YOUR OWN STORAGE UNIT. If she’s paying to store stuff, that’s HER STUFF IN STORAGE.

[Anonymous]

You don't need a lawyer since you are out of luck. How much money did you give your mom for the storage unit over the years? When did you ask to retrieve your items and your mother refused to let you have access?

If these things were truly important to you then you would have found room in your house.

[Anonymous]

You had FIVE YEARS (at least!) to retrieve your belongings. If your mother was paying for the storage unit, it was hers to do as she wished with the contents that she was paying to store.

You are SOL OP.

Lesson learned. If you want something, get it yourself. Store it yourself. I know it must be hurtful to have this experience with your mother, but you have to acknowledge your own responsibility in failing to retrieve your own items.

[Anonymous]

You lost any rights to stuff you left behind when you moved out. You doubly lost rights when you stopped talking. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Your post says you have a house and still didn’t have room for your things. Sounds like you didn’t really care about them very much, otherwise you would have found a spot for them in your house. So, for example, the coins that are so important to you couldn’t be stored in your house? (Coins aren’t that big.) Meanwhile your Mom was having to spend her money to store your things…. You might want to go to therapy if you have a hard time seeing things from other peoples’ perspectives because, hint, that’s your problem in this situation.

[Anonymous]

How about say thank you to someone else for paying for storage for your crap for years, you ingrate.