Can I ask a caregiver not to bring a specific nut to the playground?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is that allergic, you should not be sharing snacks and should be teaching her not to share snacks. She needs to learn she must be in charge of avoiding the allergen and not expect others to do so for her. Though that would be nice.

Like looking both ways before crossing the street. Don’t rely on others when it comes to your safety. Rely on mom/dad and learn to rely on yourself.

- parent of kid with allergies

+1

Seriously!

[Anonymous]

I've never met a nut allergy parent who SUGGESTS sharing others'snacks.

It feels like the issue isn't really your child's safety but rather your desire to police this other family and make a big deal about the nut allergy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

You have a nasty attitude. Must be lonely to move through the world thinking that no one should help you or even deserves to help you.

NP. I have two kids with severe nut allergies, and the PP is absolutely right. There are so many nuances that it’s actually more dangerous to have well-meaning people think they know who do not know. For example, my ILs neighbor brought over unlabeled cookies from a bakery and said “I asked if there was nuts in these, and they said no, so their safe” and MIL/FIL exclaim oh how nice and start to hand them to my girls and DH and I had to intervene, saying unless the bakery is nut-free and also does not use nut oils, etc., we have to check first. When we called the bakery said yes it’s all shared equipment, we don’t consider anything to be nut-safe. Or my cousin hosted a BBQ and bought hot dog buns that “May Contain Tree Nuts.” If I hadn’t read the labels, it could have been a problem—she knows about the allergy and didn’t know to check hot dog labels, etc.

So the only safe way to raise my girls is:
A) We don’t share snacks with other kids; if a kid offers you food, you check with mom and dad, ask the adult to read the label
B) Even if a grown-up offers you the snack, check with mom and dad or your teacher/daycare teacher and ask them to read the labels
C) I send my kids to school/daycare/play dates with their own back-up snacks, so they are never left out even if Billy brings in cupcakes for his class party, we still have nut-safe individually wrapped brownies or fruit snacks as a treat instead
D) I tell all the adults in my life that it is a good thing to never offer a snack directly to a kid; offer it to the adult in charge of the kid first

Some adults, even our dear family and friends, think they know, but demonstrate that “oh I didn’t realize I had to check what brand of chocolate chips I use in the cookies.” They mean well, but they don’t get it. The more people who think they know but actually don’t is actually a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

You have a nasty attitude. Must be lonely to move through the world thinking that no one should help you or even deserves to help you.

NP. I have two kids with severe nut allergies, and the PP is absolutely right. There are so many nuances that it’s actually more dangerous to have well-meaning people think they know who do not know. For example, my ILs neighbor brought over unlabeled cookies from a bakery and said “I asked if there was nuts in these, and they said no, so their safe” and MIL/FIL exclaim oh how nice and start to hand them to my girls and DH and I had to intervene, saying unless the bakery is nut-free and also does not use nut oils, etc., we have to check first. When we called the bakery said yes it’s all shared equipment, we don’t consider anything to be nut-safe. Or my cousin hosted a BBQ and bought hot dog buns that “May Contain Tree Nuts.” If I hadn’t read the labels, it could have been a problem—she knows about the allergy and didn’t know to check hot dog labels, etc.

So the only safe way to raise my girls is:
A) We don’t share snacks with other kids; if a kid offers you food, you check with mom and dad, ask the adult to read the label
B) Even if a grown-up offers you the snack, check with mom and dad or your teacher/daycare teacher and ask them to read the labels
C) I send my kids to school/daycare/play dates with their own back-up snacks, so they are never left out even if Billy brings in cupcakes for his class party, we still have nut-safe individually wrapped brownies or fruit snacks as a treat instead
D) I tell all the adults in my life that it is a good thing to never offer a snack directly to a kid; offer it to the adult in charge of the kid first

Some adults, even our dear family and friends, think they know, but demonstrate that “oh I didn’t realize I had to check what brand of chocolate chips I use in the cookies.” They mean well, but they don’t get it. The more people who think they know but actually don’t is actually a problem.

I agree with what you are saying. But on the other hand, I have parents of kids with nut allergies ask me to provide safe food at parties so their kid will have something to eat. I’m happy to do that but I have no clue what’s safe and am so uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

You have a nasty attitude. Must be lonely to move through the world thinking that no one should help you or even deserves to help you.

NP. I have two kids with severe nut allergies, and the PP is absolutely right. There are so many nuances that it’s actually more dangerous to have well-meaning people think they know who do not know. For example, my ILs neighbor brought over unlabeled cookies from a bakery and said “I asked if there was nuts in these, and they said no, so their safe” and MIL/FIL exclaim oh how nice and start to hand them to my girls and DH and I had to intervene, saying unless the bakery is nut-free and also does not use nut oils, etc., we have to check first. When we called the bakery said yes it’s all shared equipment, we don’t consider anything to be nut-safe. Or my cousin hosted a BBQ and bought hot dog buns that “May Contain Tree Nuts.” If I hadn’t read the labels, it could have been a problem—she knows about the allergy and didn’t know to check hot dog labels, etc.

So the only safe way to raise my girls is:
A) We don’t share snacks with other kids; if a kid offers you food, you check with mom and dad, ask the adult to read the label
B) Even if a grown-up offers you the snack, check with mom and dad or your teacher/daycare teacher and ask them to read the labels
C) I send my kids to school/daycare/play dates with their own back-up snacks, so they are never left out even if Billy brings in cupcakes for his class party, we still have nut-safe individually wrapped brownies or fruit snacks as a treat instead
D) I tell all the adults in my life that it is a good thing to never offer a snack directly to a kid; offer it to the adult in charge of the kid first

Some adults, even our dear family and friends, think they know, but demonstrate that “oh I didn’t realize I had to check what brand of chocolate chips I use in the cookies.” They mean well, but they don’t get it. The more people who think they know but actually don’t is actually a problem.

I agree with what you are saying. But on the other hand, I have parents of kids with nut allergies ask me to provide safe food at parties so their kid will have something to eat. I’m happy to do that but I have no clue what’s safe and am so uncomfortable.

I’m sorry they are putting you in that position—they should not. Even at school parties, I do not expect the teacher to provide only nut-safe items. Ask them to provide snacks/food, or ask them to give you names of specific safe foods and products. If you want to be very kind, list what you are getting: pizza from Ledo, veggie tray, Capri Sun and cookies from Crumbl. That would be enough info for me, and I would ask if I may send small nut-safe individually wrapped brownie for my daughter. Bottom line: tell them you are not comfortable, and hopefully they will step in and be responsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

You have a nasty attitude. Must be lonely to move through the world thinking that no one should help you or even deserves to help you.

NP. I have two kids with severe nut allergies, and the PP is absolutely right. There are so many nuances that it’s actually more dangerous to have well-meaning people think they know who do not know. For example, my ILs neighbor brought over unlabeled cookies from a bakery and said “I asked if there was nuts in these, and they said no, so their safe” and MIL/FIL exclaim oh how nice and start to hand them to my girls and DH and I had to intervene, saying unless the bakery is nut-free and also does not use nut oils, etc., we have to check first. When we called the bakery said yes it’s all shared equipment, we don’t consider anything to be nut-safe. Or my cousin hosted a BBQ and bought hot dog buns that “May Contain Tree Nuts.” If I hadn’t read the labels, it could have been a problem—she knows about the allergy and didn’t know to check hot dog labels, etc.

So the only safe way to raise my girls is:
A) We don’t share snacks with other kids; if a kid offers you food, you check with mom and dad, ask the adult to read the label
B) Even if a grown-up offers you the snack, check with mom and dad or your teacher/daycare teacher and ask them to read the labels
C) I send my kids to school/daycare/play dates with their own back-up snacks, so they are never left out even if Billy brings in cupcakes for his class party, we still have nut-safe individually wrapped brownies or fruit snacks as a treat instead
D) I tell all the adults in my life that it is a good thing to never offer a snack directly to a kid; offer it to the adult in charge of the kid first

Some adults, even our dear family and friends, think they know, but demonstrate that “oh I didn’t realize I had to check what brand of chocolate chips I use in the cookies.” They mean well, but they don’t get it. The more people who think they know but actually don’t is actually a problem.

I wouldn't even trust them. I had an acquaintance who almost died in a starbucks parking lot because they gave her a dairy latte (which she obviously did not order). People make mistakes all of the time. Only the people who've had the fear of god put into them dealing with a kid who can't breathe can be trusted. That friend doesn't eat out anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

You have a nasty attitude. Must be lonely to move through the world thinking that no one should help you or even deserves to help you.

NP. I have two kids with severe nut allergies, and the PP is absolutely right. There are so many nuances that it’s actually more dangerous to have well-meaning people think they know who do not know. For example, my ILs neighbor brought over unlabeled cookies from a bakery and said “I asked if there was nuts in these, and they said no, so their safe” and MIL/FIL exclaim oh how nice and start to hand them to my girls and DH and I had to intervene, saying unless the bakery is nut-free and also does not use nut oils, etc., we have to check first. When we called the bakery said yes it’s all shared equipment, we don’t consider anything to be nut-safe. Or my cousin hosted a BBQ and bought hot dog buns that “May Contain Tree Nuts.” If I hadn’t read the labels, it could have been a problem—she knows about the allergy and didn’t know to check hot dog labels, etc.

So the only safe way to raise my girls is:
A) We don’t share snacks with other kids; if a kid offers you food, you check with mom and dad, ask the adult to read the label
B) Even if a grown-up offers you the snack, check with mom and dad or your teacher/daycare teacher and ask them to read the labels
C) I send my kids to school/daycare/play dates with their own back-up snacks, so they are never left out even if Billy brings in cupcakes for his class party, we still have nut-safe individually wrapped brownies or fruit snacks as a treat instead
D) I tell all the adults in my life that it is a good thing to never offer a snack directly to a kid; offer it to the adult in charge of the kid first

Some adults, even our dear family and friends, think they know, but demonstrate that “oh I didn’t realize I had to check what brand of chocolate chips I use in the cookies.” They mean well, but they don’t get it. The more people who think they know but actually don’t is actually a problem.

I agree with what you are saying. But on the other hand, I have parents of kids with nut allergies ask me to provide safe food at parties so their kid will have something to eat. I’m happy to do that but I have no clue what’s safe and am so uncomfortable.

"I am not comfortable taking on that responsibility."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

You have a nasty attitude. Must be lonely to move through the world thinking that no one should help you or even deserves to help you.

I have an attitude about people who think their feelings trump peer-reviewed research. I have an attitude when you tell me I am wrong even though my kid has an allergy and this is what was directed to us by our allergist. Help is not truly help is this case. It isnt loading groceries or assisting with a girl scout party- it is life-threatening so if you dont have the expertise of a physician or the experience of being an allergy parent you should take some notes and stop trying to hoist your "help" onto people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

You have a nasty attitude. Must be lonely to move through the world thinking that no one should help you or even deserves to help you.

NP. I have two kids with severe nut allergies, and the PP is absolutely right. There are so many nuances that it’s actually more dangerous to have well-meaning people think they know who do not know. For example, my ILs neighbor brought over unlabeled cookies from a bakery and said “I asked if there was nuts in these, and they said no, so their safe” and MIL/FIL exclaim oh how nice and start to hand them to my girls and DH and I had to intervene, saying unless the bakery is nut-free and also does not use nut oils, etc., we have to check first. When we called the bakery said yes it’s all shared equipment, we don’t consider anything to be nut-safe. Or my cousin hosted a BBQ and bought hot dog buns that “May Contain Tree Nuts.” If I hadn’t read the labels, it could have been a problem—she knows about the allergy and didn’t know to check hot dog labels, etc.

So the only safe way to raise my girls is:
A) We don’t share snacks with other kids; if a kid offers you food, you check with mom and dad, ask the adult to read the label
B) Even if a grown-up offers you the snack, check with mom and dad or your teacher/daycare teacher and ask them to read the labels
C) I send my kids to school/daycare/play dates with their own back-up snacks, so they are never left out even if Billy brings in cupcakes for his class party, we still have nut-safe individually wrapped brownies or fruit snacks as a treat instead
D) I tell all the adults in my life that it is a good thing to never offer a snack directly to a kid; offer it to the adult in charge of the kid first

Some adults, even our dear family and friends, think they know, but demonstrate that “oh I didn’t realize I had to check what brand of chocolate chips I use in the cookies.” They mean well, but they don’t get it. The more people who think they know but actually don’t is actually a problem.

I wouldn't even trust them. I had an acquaintance who almost died in a starbucks parking lot because they gave her a dairy latte (which she obviously did not order). People make mistakes all of the time. Only the people who've had the fear of god put into them dealing with a kid who can't breathe can be trusted. That friend doesn't eat out anymore.

I trust daycare/teachers only when my kid is also old enough to read and understand the label; teacher/daycare (before and after care center that is also their school-age summer camp, to be clear) is a backup label-check. So if 4th grade teacher reads the label and discusses it with my 4th grader, who also reads the label, that's fine. We've literally never had to use an epi-pen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

You have a nasty attitude. Must be lonely to move through the world thinking that no one should help you or even deserves to help you.

I have an attitude about people who think their feelings trump peer-reviewed research. I have an attitude when you tell me I am wrong even though my kid has an allergy and this is what was directed to us by our allergist. Help is not truly help is this case. It isnt loading groceries or assisting with a girl scout party- it is life-threatening so if you dont have the expertise of a physician or the experience of being an allergy parent you should take some notes and stop trying to hoist your "help" onto people.

Good lord, get a grip. No one said you were wrong or try to usurp your allergists' directions or even force kids to try their "peanut free snacks."

You make it seem like we don't agree with allergy research. Maybe reframe your perspective to see that parents do want to prevent harm from allergy exposure. Do you also respond this way when people set out "nut free" and non-candy bowls at Halloween?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

I don't understand why we are assuming OP will be less diligent. Can't parents be vigilant and also try to eliminate a known risk?

[Anonymous]

I don't get all the drama. OP child should not be sharing snacks with anyone else in this situation at a playground or anywhere. As a parent you have to assume there will be residue from other families and some kids are ok with residue and others are not. Except if you wipe everything down before use, you have to just simply assume the risk is there. If they eat near you, excuse yourself saying child has an allergy.

As a decent parent, I'd never send nut snacks or food to school or a public place. As a decent room parent or party planner, I reach out to parents of know allergies and get the word out so we can provide for all kids, within reason (at some point if a child is allergic to everything or its clear its preferences over allergy, while I try to work with preferences only so much you can do).

But, no, you don't ask another person not to bring specific food. You just distance yourself and if they ask why or you are bold just mention the allergy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

I don't understand why we are assuming OP will be less diligent. Can't parents be vigilant and also try to eliminate a known risk?

You can try but she is using a public playground and it is beyond norms/customs to ask another parent to stop bringing a certain snack. it doesnt make any sense and is illogical that only the snack she sees is a concern. this is 100% an example of people who dont understand risk- the same people worry about kidnapping but have a pool in their backyard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

You have a nasty attitude. Must be lonely to move through the world thinking that no one should help you or even deserves to help you.

I have an attitude about people who think their feelings trump peer-reviewed research. I have an attitude when you tell me I am wrong even though my kid has an allergy and this is what was directed to us by our allergist. Help is not truly help is this case. It isnt loading groceries or assisting with a girl scout party- it is life-threatening so if you dont have the expertise of a physician or the experience of being an allergy parent you should take some notes and stop trying to hoist your "help" onto people.

Good lord, get a grip. No one said you were wrong or try to usurp your allergists' directions or even force kids to try their "peanut free snacks."

You make it seem like we don't agree with allergy research. Maybe reframe your perspective to see that parents do want to prevent harm from allergy exposure. Do you also respond this way when people set out "nut free" and non-candy bowls at Halloween?

yet again you think you can prevent harm- you cannot and you are not listening to allergy experienced parents. it is similar to talking over minorities when they tell you what is wrong and your like no no no you are just bitter, this is a better way- we are helping seeeeeee.

non-candy treats are not food but still a risk. most allergy parents buy safe food for their kids on halloween and let them trick-or-treat and then donate the candy they get and give them parent-selected items.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, a lot of people on this board just do not care about others. Personally I would be happy to accommodate this request. No, the other person does not have an obligation to stop bringing the snack, but it's a fairly small thing one caretaker can do to make another a little less anxious. I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask.

it isnt about not caring, it is absolutely an ineffective way to reduce allergy exposure and gives allergy parents a false sense of control. nut free schools have more incidents compared to non-nut free schools because they rely on no nuts vs other mitigation techniques

Why can't it be both? It's easy enough to care for others and also help parents of young children learn to mitigate exposure. It's really not a big deal and the caretakers might get to know each other better.

nope sorry, your feel good feelings dont actually reduce risk. it makes parents and kids more comfortable and less diligent and thats where mistakes happen. Oh Carol I asked our baker about nuts for the cupcakes and they are nut free- not understanding that it has to be a nut free facility AND susie homemaker cupcakes were made in the same kitchen she made her kids PBJ that morning.

OP- if your son has a life threatening peanut allergy look into the allergy dogs that can sniff nuts, even trace amounts.

You have a nasty attitude. Must be lonely to move through the world thinking that no one should help you or even deserves to help you.

If you cared so much you would eliminate all nuts from your diet now. Never have any in your home and never pack any for your kids. Just assume you can always be near someone who may have a nut allergy. Why wait to be asked? Don't you care?