Can I ask a caregiver not to bring a specific nut to the playground?

[Anonymous]

DD is very allergic to one tree nut. A kid who comes approx daily to the playground we go to often has that nut in his snack. Both him and DD are under 3. Would it be unreasonable to ask the caregiver not to bring the nut?

[Anonymous]

Yes, that would be overstepping.

You should be around your kid to make sure she doesn't eat his snack.

[Anonymous]

I think you can say, as you're leaving, "It happens that Joey's allergic to pistachios, so we're going to leave now. Thanks for playing together!"

I know I'd say "Oh my, I didn't know that. I won't bring it next time!"

[Anonymous]

Do you know this person at all? If not I would not do it. If you chat, then I might causally mention it and hope she takes the hint.

[Anonymous]

I think you should mention it. As a mother, I’d want to know if someone we hung out with had an allergy like that - I’m a new mom so this is good to hear, otherwise I’d probably be the parent of the kid with a nut snack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you can say, as you're leaving, "It happens that Joey's allergic to pistachios, so we're going to leave now. Thanks for playing together!"

I know I'd say "Oh my, I didn't know that. I won't bring it next time!"

I wouldn’t say it like that - seems passive aggressive. Just politely mention that your child loves playing with their kid but they have a specific allergy and kindly ask if they not bring it when playing together. Be casual and friendly. Most people are reasonable.

[Anonymous]

You can mention that your child is allergic. Other than that you can’t really expect others to adapt

[Anonymous]

When my kids were little I never brought nuts to playgrounds. But unfortunately, I don’t think you can ask her not to bring them. As others have said you could mention the severe allergy but not in a way that makes it seem like you intend for them to act on it.

[Anonymous]

I’ve told the caregiver (made the mistake of suggesting my daughter share a snack - the container had that nut in it prior to a new type of snack being poured in — lesson learned!!). The caregiver brought some again. I think my daughter also has a reaction when she touches surfaces that have the slightest amount of residue though. We are going to do a skin test in addition to the bloodwork we’ve already done.

[Anonymous]

If she is that allergic, you should not be sharing snacks and should be teaching her not to share snacks. She needs to learn she must be in charge of avoiding the allergen and not expect others to do so for her. Though that would be nice.

Like looking both ways before crossing the street. Don’t rely on others when it comes to your safety. Rely on mom/dad and learn to rely on yourself.

- parent of kid with allergies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve told the caregiver (made the mistake of suggesting my daughter share a snack - the container had that nut in it prior to a new type of snack being poured in — lesson learned!!). The caregiver brought some again. I think my daughter also has a reaction when she touches surfaces that have the slightest amount of residue though. We are going to do a skin test in addition to the bloodwork we’ve already done.

Having your daughter share snacks is really confusing messaging for a kid with this level of allergies. It seemed like you learned that though.

My understanding is that you don't feel safe with her sharing equipment with a kid with fresh nut oil on her hands. In that case, I think you need to leave which is why explaining why you're leaving makes sense.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes, that’s exactly it. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is very allergic to one tree nut. A kid who comes approx daily to the playground we go to often has that nut in his snack. Both him and DD are under 3. Would it be unreasonable to ask the caregiver not to bring the nut?

I guess I dont understand - is it because they might share food? Or is it contact, because if contact, you are only controlling what you see and that seems ineffective as a safety measure.

No sharing of food if you have an allergy. A lot of people try to be helpful and bring snacks for my kid with allergies and it isnt helpful. Its thoughtful, somewhat, but not helpful. Our rule is you only eat food given to you by mom/dad. We pack all his food. He has school snacks that are given every week from our house.

[Anonymous]

Nut allergy parent here:
That would be inappropriate.

At this age, you need to keep eyes on your kid at ALL TIMES.

When the snack comes out, you can casually mention, "I'm going to take Larlo to the swings as he has a really severe pistachio allergy." Maybe the caregiver will keep that in mind, maybe not.

You need to start teaching your kid now:
1) We don't accept snacks from other kids, ever
2) We always check for nuts when an adult offers a snack

Nuts will always be a part of the world, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should mention it. As a mother, I’d want to know if someone we hung out with had an allergy like that - I’m a new mom so this is good to hear, otherwise I’d probably be the parent of the kid with a nut snack.

There's nothing wrong with nuts as a snack in public places or in any environment where they aren't specifically banned, like some daycares/schools. It's your job to provide your child with food, it's not your job to keep my kid safe. The only takeaway here is: make sure you never offer a kid food directly, ALWAYS ask the parent/caregiver first; and make sure your kid does not share snacks or offer snacks to other kid without checking with adults first.