Do you have rules around bed time for your college kids at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m done at 8 pm so you need to be in your room at 8 pm. Don’t have to sleep but you need to be independent while I sleep.

My college kid is still at work for another hour or more after that, then needs dinner and a shower! I like my sleep as well as the next person, but it’s unreasonable to expect everyone in the house - especially other adults - to run on my schedule. As long as they’re trying to be respectful, I’ll return the favor.

What does this mean? You go to bed at 8? No one can talk to you after 8? I don't understand what this means. Literally everyone in your house goes to their room at 8?

I try to go downstairs at 8 take a shower I then talk on the phone and go to bed ideally by 9. I wake up at 4 take a quick shower sometimes eat and start work at 5. I work 15 hour days 7 days a week. That’s not enough? I would prefer they not talk to me after 8 yes as 105 hours of my time is spent on them each week. I deserve sleep, and food myself. Yes they go in their rooms by 8. Sometimes the dad or 25 year old are not home by then and go out late but they don’t need me to do anything for them when they return like cook or give them a drink . They know 8 pm I’m off work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m done at 8 pm so you need to be in your room at 8 pm. Don’t have to sleep but you need to be independent while I sleep.

My college kid is still at work for another hour or more after that, then needs dinner and a shower! I like my sleep as well as the next person, but it’s unreasonable to expect everyone in the house - especially other adults - to run on my schedule. As long as they’re trying to be respectful, I’ll return the favor.

I’m a nanny I take care of 4 people ages 13, 15, 25 and 50. I work 7 days a week 5 am to 8 pm. I’m done at 8 I have to be able to sleep, shower and eat myself so I can take care of these 4 people. Thankfully they are respectful for the most part of my time. Yes I get an occasional knock on my door at 10 pm saying I’m hungry but I give lots of warnings. Kitchen is closing soon.

None of these people can get their own food from the kitchen? Are they disabled? We’re talking about college age adult children. I’m so confused.

No not disabled. No they don’t get their own food, ever. I wait on them from sun up to sun down .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m done at 8 pm so you need to be in your room at 8 pm. Don’t have to sleep but you need to be independent while I sleep.

My college kid is still at work for another hour or more after that, then needs dinner and a shower! I like my sleep as well as the next person, but it’s unreasonable to expect everyone in the house - especially other adults - to run on my schedule. As long as they’re trying to be respectful, I’ll return the favor.

I’m a nanny I take care of 4 people ages 13, 15, 25 and 50. I work 7 days a week 5 am to 8 pm. I’m done at 8 I have to be able to sleep, shower and eat myself so I can take care of these 4 people. Thankfully they are respectful for the most part of my time. Yes I get an occasional knock on my door at 10 pm saying I’m hungry but I give lots of warnings. Kitchen is closing soon.

None of these people can get their own food from the kitchen? Are they disabled? We’re talking about college age adult children. I’m so confused.

No not disabled. No they don’t get their own food, ever. I wait on them from sun up to sun down .

And you also are able to dictate that they need to stay in their room after 8 pm when you go to bed? This is all very bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m done at 8 pm so you need to be in your room at 8 pm. Don’t have to sleep but you need to be independent while I sleep.

My college kid is still at work for another hour or more after that, then needs dinner and a shower! I like my sleep as well as the next person, but it’s unreasonable to expect everyone in the house - especially other adults - to run on my schedule. As long as they’re trying to be respectful, I’ll return the favor.

I’m a nanny I take care of 4 people ages 13, 15, 25 and 50. I work 7 days a week 5 am to 8 pm. I’m done at 8 I have to be able to sleep, shower and eat myself so I can take care of these 4 people. Thankfully they are respectful for the most part of my time. Yes I get an occasional knock on my door at 10 pm saying I’m hungry but I give lots of warnings. Kitchen is closing soon.

None of these people can get their own food from the kitchen? Are they disabled? We’re talking about college age adult children. I’m so confused.

No not disabled. No they don’t get their own food, ever. I wait on them from sun up to sun down .

And you also are able to dictate that they need to stay in their room after 8 pm when you go to bed? This is all very bizarre.

The dad doesn’t want to have to do it or hire someone else to work 8-5 am. So everyone is done at 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m done at 8 pm so you need to be in your room at 8 pm. Don’t have to sleep but you need to be independent while I sleep.

My college kid is still at work for another hour or more after that, then needs dinner and a shower! I like my sleep as well as the next person, but it’s unreasonable to expect everyone in the house - especially other adults - to run on my schedule. As long as they’re trying to be respectful, I’ll return the favor.

I’m a nanny I take care of 4 people ages 13, 15, 25 and 50. I work 7 days a week 5 am to 8 pm. I’m done at 8 I have to be able to sleep, shower and eat myself so I can take care of these 4 people. Thankfully they are respectful for the most part of my time. Yes I get an occasional knock on my door at 10 pm saying I’m hungry but I give lots of warnings. Kitchen is closing soon.

None of these people can get their own food from the kitchen? Are they disabled? We’re talking about college age adult children. I’m so confused.

No not disabled. No they don’t get their own food, ever. I wait on them from sun up to sun down .

And you also are able to dictate that they need to stay in their room after 8 pm when you go to bed? This is all very bizarre.

The dad doesn’t want to have to do it or hire someone else to work 8-5 am. So everyone is done at 8.

You should do an AMA because everything about this situation is weird AF

[Anonymous]

As with many parenting things, this will likely sort itself out. We too have a kid who used to stay up all night and sleep all day, which sent me quietly around the bend. And very cranky, snippy. I went so far as to buy the kid a book on the importance of sleep, so that it wouldn’t just be hysterical mom. Made no difference. But, with each visit home, it’s improved. I’m cautiously optimistic that regular hours are only a year or two off. And I remember sleeping in until noon on weekends through my 20s (had to get up for work otherwise). I only wish I still slept so well now, diligent sleep hygiene notwithstanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m done at 8 pm so you need to be in your room at 8 pm. Don’t have to sleep but you need to be independent while I sleep.

My college kid is still at work for another hour or more after that, then needs dinner and a shower! I like my sleep as well as the next person, but it’s unreasonable to expect everyone in the house - especially other adults - to run on my schedule. As long as they’re trying to be respectful, I’ll return the favor.

What does this mean? You go to bed at 8? No one can talk to you after 8? I don't understand what this means. Literally everyone in your house goes to their room at 8?

I try to go downstairs at 8 take a shower I then talk on the phone and go to bed ideally by 9. I wake up at 4 take a quick shower sometimes eat and start work at 5. I work 15 hour days 7 days a week. That’s not enough? I would prefer they not talk to me after 8 yes as 105 hours of my time is spent on them each week. I deserve sleep, and food myself. Yes they go in their rooms by 8. Sometimes the dad or 25 year old are not home by then and go out late but they don’t need me to do anything for them when they return like cook or give them a drink . They know 8 pm I’m off work.

Wait are you the nanny? Or the mom? This is so confusing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m done at 8 pm so you need to be in your room at 8 pm. Don’t have to sleep but you need to be independent while I sleep.

My college kid is still at work for another hour or more after that, then needs dinner and a shower! I like my sleep as well as the next person, but it’s unreasonable to expect everyone in the house - especially other adults - to run on my schedule. As long as they’re trying to be respectful, I’ll return the favor.

What does this mean? You go to bed at 8? No one can talk to you after 8? I don't understand what this means. Literally everyone in your house goes to their room at 8?

I try to go downstairs at 8 take a shower I then talk on the phone and go to bed ideally by 9. I wake up at 4 take a quick shower sometimes eat and start work at 5. I work 15 hour days 7 days a week. That’s not enough? I would prefer they not talk to me after 8 yes as 105 hours of my time is spent on them each week. I deserve sleep, and food myself. Yes they go in their rooms by 8. Sometimes the dad or 25 year old are not home by then and go out late but they don’t need me to do anything for them when they return like cook or give them a drink . They know 8 pm I’m off work.

Wait are you the nanny? Or the mom? This is so confusing.

Nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m done at 8 pm so you need to be in your room at 8 pm. Don’t have to sleep but you need to be independent while I sleep.

My college kid is still at work for another hour or more after that, then needs dinner and a shower! I like my sleep as well as the next person, but it’s unreasonable to expect everyone in the house - especially other adults - to run on my schedule. As long as they’re trying to be respectful, I’ll return the favor.

What does this mean? You go to bed at 8? No one can talk to you after 8? I don't understand what this means. Literally everyone in your house goes to their room at 8?

I try to go downstairs at 8 take a shower I then talk on the phone and go to bed ideally by 9. I wake up at 4 take a quick shower sometimes eat and start work at 5. I work 15 hour days 7 days a week. That’s not enough? I would prefer they not talk to me after 8 yes as 105 hours of my time is spent on them each week. I deserve sleep, and food myself. Yes they go in their rooms by 8. Sometimes the dad or 25 year old are not home by then and go out late but they don’t need me to do anything for them when they return like cook or give them a drink . They know 8 pm I’m off work.

Wait are you the nanny? Or the mom? This is so confusing.

Nanny

The nanny sends college kids to their room at 8? And they listen?

[Anonymous]

We have a time after which you must be respectful of the fact people are asleep. Generally around 10 on weeknights and 11 on weekends. We also have a time after which we will no longer tiptoe around to avoid waking you up, which is around 10 on weekends. After that, vacuum cleaners, siblings friends, lawn mowers and home maintenance projects are fair game.

Bedtime? No. My kids are 18 & 20, not 8 & 10. My parents were domineering and would have done something like this. So, I came home as little as possible. I like my kids and want them to come home when they can. If that mean they sleep from 3 am to noon, that’s fine. Plenty of hours left to s them. And better than not seeing them at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m done at 8 pm so you need to be in your room at 8 pm. Don’t have to sleep but you need to be independent while I sleep.

My college kid is still at work for another hour or more after that, then needs dinner and a shower! I like my sleep as well as the next person, but it’s unreasonable to expect everyone in the house - especially other adults - to run on my schedule. As long as they’re trying to be respectful, I’ll return the favor.

What does this mean? You go to bed at 8? No one can talk to you after 8? I don't understand what this means. Literally everyone in your house goes to their room at 8?

I try to go downstairs at 8 take a shower I then talk on the phone and go to bed ideally by 9. I wake up at 4 take a quick shower sometimes eat and start work at 5. I work 15 hour days 7 days a week. That’s not enough? I would prefer they not talk to me after 8 yes as 105 hours of my time is spent on them each week. I deserve sleep, and food myself. Yes they go in their rooms by 8. Sometimes the dad or 25 year old are not home by then and go out late but they don’t need me to do anything for them when they return like cook or give them a drink . They know 8 pm I’m off work.

Wait are you the nanny? Or the mom? This is so confusing.

Nanny

The nanny sends college kids to their room at 8? And they listen?

This is coming off as very creepy and odd. Nannies don’t get to set terms to adult members of families. They’re there to take care of little kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m done at 8 pm so you need to be in your room at 8 pm. Don’t have to sleep but you need to be independent while I sleep.

My college kid is still at work for another hour or more after that, then needs dinner and a shower! I like my sleep as well as the next person, but it’s unreasonable to expect everyone in the house - especially other adults - to run on my schedule. As long as they’re trying to be respectful, I’ll return the favor.

I’m a nanny I take care of 4 people ages 13, 15, 25 and 50. I work 7 days a week 5 am to 8 pm. I’m done at 8 I have to be able to sleep, shower and eat myself so I can take care of these 4 people. Thankfully they are respectful for the most part of my time. Yes I get an occasional knock on my door at 10 pm saying I’m hungry but I give lots of warnings. Kitchen is closing soon.

None of these people can get their own food from the kitchen? Are they disabled? We’re talking about college age adult children. I’m so confused.

No not disabled. No they don’t get their own food, ever. I wait on them from sun up to sun down .

And you also are able to dictate that they need to stay in their room after 8 pm when you go to bed? This is all very bizarre.

The dad doesn’t want to have to do it or hire someone else to work 8-5 am. So everyone is done at 8.

You should do an AMA because everything about this situation is weird AF

I don’t think I want to know any more about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My freshman DS was home last evening (so not out with friends or anything). He worked all weekend (restaurant), including all day yesterday. Came home at 5, was clearly tired and was crabby at dinner. DH asked him to empty the DW before he went to bed.

DS woke me at 5AM when he came upstairs to go to bed. I never went back to sleep. Dishwasher didn't get emptied. I am furiously angry, but would be annoyed about 5AM bedtime even without those things, as I strongly believe that sleep is vital to mental health, plus he's just pissy when he doesn't get enough sleep. Unfortunately, his work schedule this month will not provide any real natural consequences, so I'm going to have to impose them. I'm not going to let him sleep all day.

What happens at your house?

HAHAHAHA.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. But there's a difference between them going to bed, and them being quiet and self-sufficient while others are sleeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's ok, even healthy, to have some basic rules. I'll be trying to figure that out this summer with my new graduate. Asking your adult son to be considerate of your need to sleep is certainly not ridiculous and neither is expecting him to help out around the house.

Ok, but a bedtime for a college student? Yeah, that’s ridiculous.

NP here. I have all those problems and concerns with a returned college student as well, staying up all night sleeping past noon. But I have to agree, OP is ridiculous.

i

Congratulations. You have an absolutely normal 18-19-year-old.