How to find a husband at 30?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did your last relationship end?

OP here. He is also 30 and wasn’t ready to settle down. He wanted to settle down eventually but he didn’t see himself having kids for at least another 5 years. He was fine with marriage but wanted to put off kids until 35+. I want to hopefully have 1-2 kids or be pregnant by 35.

It would take you roughly one year to find such guy then roughly one year to make sure if he is suitable. You are not likely to want to have kids in first year of marriage so this strategy only makes a difference of 2 years. You should’ve married the guy you loved and trusted and waited a bit longer for kids.

You don't leave someone you love because you don't want kids at the exact same moment in life!! I think you need to go back to the basics, OP.

+1. Sounded like she he had a great guy. Her loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want kids, not a husband. Just be a single mother.

This true , but she won't realize this until after 10 years of marriage and 2-3 kids then she'll be here complaining about the guy she thought she loved and was great that she thinks she settled for and now questions if she loves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did your last relationship end?

OP here. He is also 30 and wasn’t ready to settle down. He wanted to settle down eventually but he didn’t see himself having kids for at least another 5 years. He was fine with marriage but wanted to put off kids until 35+. I want to hopefully have 1-2 kids or be pregnant by 35.

It would take you roughly one year to find such guy then roughly one year to make sure if he is suitable. You are not likely to want to have kids in first year of marriage so this strategy only makes a difference of 2 years. You should’ve married the guy you loved and trusted and waited a bit longer for kids.

You don't leave someone you love because you don't want kids at the exact same moment in life!! I think you need to go back to the basics, OP.

+1. Sounded like she he had a great guy. Her loss.

Yeah I'm not sure why they couldn't compromise on the time line.

[Anonymous]

I think marriage is important as without a commitment you don’t have a reason to gamble your youth but timing or number of kids are just details, you can compromise for love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did your last relationship end?

OP here. He is also 30 and wasn’t ready to settle down. He wanted to settle down eventually but he didn’t see himself having kids for at least another 5 years. He was fine with marriage but wanted to put off kids until 35+. I want to hopefully have 1-2 kids or be pregnant by 35.

It would take you roughly one year to find such guy then roughly one year to make sure if he is suitable. You are not likely to want to have kids in first year of marriage so this strategy only makes a difference of 2 years. You should’ve married the guy you loved and trusted and waited a bit longer for kids.

You don't leave someone you love because you don't want kids at the exact same moment in life!! I think you need to go back to the basics, OP.

When you're in your 30s and the guy wants to put off kids for *at least* 5 years - actually, yea, you do leave them. If he needs 5 more years he likely doesn't even want kids. Last thing OP should do is gamble her fertility on him, only to find out at 35 he doesn't want kids after all and now she's screwed.

If he could compromise on 2 years - sure, give it a shot. But if he won't budge on the timeline, OP did the right thing in leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did your last relationship end?

OP here. He is also 30 and wasn’t ready to settle down. He wanted to settle down eventually but he didn’t see himself having kids for at least another 5 years. He was fine with marriage but wanted to put off kids until 35+. I want to hopefully have 1-2 kids or be pregnant by 35.

It would take you roughly one year to find such guy then roughly one year to make sure if he is suitable. You are not likely to want to have kids in first year of marriage so this strategy only makes a difference of 2 years. You should’ve married the guy you loved and trusted and waited a bit longer for kids.

You don't leave someone you love because you don't want kids at the exact same moment in life!! I think you need to go back to the basics, OP.

When you're in your 30s and the guy wants to put off kids for *at least* 5 years - actually, yea, you do leave them. If he needs 5 more years he likely doesn't even want kids. Last thing OP should do is gamble her fertility on him, only to find out at 35 he doesn't want kids after all and now she's screwed.

If he could compromise on 2 years - sure, give it a shot. But if he won't budge on the timeline, OP did the right thing in leaving.

It doesn't sound like they even bothered to have a discussion about compromise it was all My WAY.

So instead of having a man who loved her and she loved, who wanted to get married and have children. She now is single and in need of finding a man to live her her wants to get married who has what she's looking for and wants to have kids right away to meet ops deadline of by 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think marriage is important as without a commitment you don’t have a reason to gamble your youth but timing or number of kids are just details, you can compromise for love.

What?. That makes no damn sense. If you want kids you have them because you want kids not as some gift to some guy.

Better a single mom than married to someone you don't love or don't know just to say you were married when you were pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did your last relationship end?

OP here. He is also 30 and wasn’t ready to settle down. He wanted to settle down eventually but he didn’t see himself having kids for at least another 5 years. He was fine with marriage but wanted to put off kids until 35+. I want to hopefully have 1-2 kids or be pregnant by 35.

It would take you roughly one year to find such guy then roughly one year to make sure if he is suitable. You are not likely to want to have kids in first year of marriage so this strategy only makes a difference of 2 years. You should’ve married the guy you loved and trusted and waited a bit longer for kids.

You don't leave someone you love because you don't want kids at the exact same moment in life!! I think you need to go back to the basics, OP.

+1. Sounded like she he had a great guy. Her loss.

Op is falling into the trap that many women do at 30 and lose their ever loving minds at 30 convinced they have to be married and have a baby before the world ends at 35 only to be miserablely married and on the verge of divorce from a man they realized they married for the wrong reasons.

My advice to op is if the only issue was the years I would try and get back with the ex and find a compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did your last relationship end?

OP here. He is also 30 and wasn’t ready to settle down. He wanted to settle down eventually but he didn’t see himself having kids for at least another 5 years. He was fine with marriage but wanted to put off kids until 35+. I want to hopefully have 1-2 kids or be pregnant by 35.

It would take you roughly one year to find such guy then roughly one year to make sure if he is suitable. You are not likely to want to have kids in first year of marriage so this strategy only makes a difference of 2 years. You should’ve married the guy you loved and trusted and waited a bit longer for kids.

You don't leave someone you love because you don't want kids at the exact same moment in life!! I think you need to go back to the basics, OP.

+1. Sounded like she he had a great guy. Her loss.

Op is falling into the trap that many women do at 30 and lose their ever loving minds at 30 convinced they have to be married and have a baby before the world ends at 35 only to be miserablely married and on the verge of divorce from a man they realized they married for the wrong reasons.

My advice to op is if the only issue was the years I would try and get back with the ex and find a compromise.

+1

[Anonymous]

If I was single I would definitely date you.

Sound like my ideal type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did your last relationship end?

OP here. He is also 30 and wasn’t ready to settle down. He wanted to settle down eventually but he didn’t see himself having kids for at least another 5 years. He was fine with marriage but wanted to put off kids until 35+. I want to hopefully have 1-2 kids or be pregnant by 35.

It would take you roughly one year to find such guy then roughly one year to make sure if he is suitable. You are not likely to want to have kids in first year of marriage so this strategy only makes a difference of 2 years. You should’ve married the guy you loved and trusted and waited a bit longer for kids.

You don't leave someone you love because you don't want kids at the exact same moment in life!! I think you need to go back to the basics, OP.

+1. Sounded like she he had a great guy. Her loss.

Op is falling into the trap that many women do at 30 and lose their ever loving minds at 30 convinced they have to be married and have a baby before the world ends at 35 only to be miserablely married and on the verge of divorce from a man they realized they married for the wrong reasons.

My advice to op is if the only issue was the years I would try and get back with the ex and find a compromise.

+1

+2 this need to adhere to a timeline is silly.

[Anonymous]

OP- I know a case when he didn't want to have kids until both turned 35. They got married at 25 and husband just wanted to travel the world, have a career for both etc. They got first child at 35; she got pregnant no problem. He sold his company became a multi-millioner and she no longer works taking care of the house, expecting their second. He is not a particular involved dad but takes a good care of the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After your 20s you always have to date older because the men in their 30s are looking for women in their 20s. Your dating pool mostly consists of 40 plus year old men who are probably divorced with kids. If the men are single in their 30s there is probably some issue.

Yeah, that’s my DH asked me out when he was 32 and I was 34. 27 years and 3 kids later it seems to have worked out.

So you're an anecdote. If you seriously ask men who are single in their 30s if they would date a woman also in her 30s you'll hear a lot of no answers because of potential fertility issues.

Another anecdote here, met DH when I was 32 and he as 30, going strong 2 kids and 11 years later!

Women are PLENTY fertile until their early 40s, and many well beyond. We have all kinds of ways of checking for ovary and embryo health these days. Welcome to 2022.

A lot of these women will need IVF treatment. Not every man wants an IVF baby or has the money to spend on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think marriage is important as without a commitment you don’t have a reason to gamble your youth but timing or number of kids are just details, you can compromise for love.

What?. That makes no damn sense. If you want kids you have them because you want kids not as some gift to some guy.

Better a single mom than married to someone you don't love or don't know just to say you were married when you were pregnant

If you two really love each other, being together is important and both parties can come to a mutual agreement that works for both.

[Anonymous]

Yup. He wanted kids after 5 years, she wanted them now, if they genuinely cared for each other, they would’ve agreed to meet in the middle.