I resent my husband for getting me a cheap engagement ring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. Nobody will take your post seriously.

NP.. I kinda agree it might be a troll, but in case OP is not a troll..

what was DH's income back then? That matters.

When my sister got engaged, they didn't have much money, so yea, the ring wasn't all that nice. She was jealous of my ring when I got engaged, but DH (and I) were making good money. We were also a lot older when we got engaged compared to my sister.

Decades later, my sister's DH makes a lot more, and he got her a nice ring, nicer than mine, not that I care, really. I barely wear my engagement ring now. Stopped wearing it during the pandemic, and realize how much less of a hassle it is now without the ring.

Op here. He made about 75k. It’s a cheap setting as well. I hardly wear it due to embarrassment especially since all the women in our circle have rings worth 15k+ and the quality shows.

He makes more money now and says I can upgrade the setting of my ring. Really I want a nice 2 carat ring that will out do everyone else’s stupid ring they are so smug about!

You aren’t going to get a 2 carat ring for $15k. Mine was over $20k 15 years ago. Just either be happy with what you have or don’t wear it. $75k is not a lot of money for a salary. Sounds like he stretched for $7k. Would you rather be had the debt that you both paid off?

[Anonymous]

Wow - if this isn't a troll this is just sad. There are freaking people who are living in shelters because they are being bombed in Ukraine. And you are worried that your $7k engagement ring isn't impressive enough?

My DH is a big-law partner and I have a $8K 1.25 ct engagement ring that he got me 12 years ago when he was still in law school. I would NEVER upgrade it. And I love jewelry. But I hate spending money. Grow up OP and get some priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. Nobody will take your post seriously.

NP.. I kinda agree it might be a troll, but in case OP is not a troll..

what was DH's income back then? That matters.

When my sister got engaged, they didn't have much money, so yea, the ring wasn't all that nice. She was jealous of my ring when I got engaged, but DH (and I) were making good money. We were also a lot older when we got engaged compared to my sister.

Decades later, my sister's DH makes a lot more, and he got her a nice ring, nicer than mine, not that I care, really. I barely wear my engagement ring now. Stopped wearing it during the pandemic, and realize how much less of a hassle it is now without the ring.

Op here. He made about 75k. It’s a cheap setting as well. I hardly wear it due to embarrassment especially since all the women in our circle have rings worth 15k+ and the quality shows.

He makes more money now and says I can upgrade the setting of my ring. Really I want a nice 2 carat ring that will out do everyone else’s stupid ring they are so smug about!

You aren’t going to get a 2 carat ring for $15k. Mine was over $20k 15 years ago. Just either be happy with what you have or don’t wear it. $75k is not a lot of money for a salary. Sounds like he stretched for $7k. Would you rather be had the debt that you both paid off?

I mean, this. It was 10% of his salary at the time which is actually the rule of thumb for rings. So basically you ave champagne taste and a beer budget—you should have married a higher earning guy if you required a 2carat ring. Also you seem completely unfamiliar with the concept of quality vs size. I have a diamond eternity band. The diamonds are small but it’s dazzling bc they are top quality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those rings are a waste of money. Actual value of a $5k ring is $500 (or less). Only fools are about them.

Only a fool buys a 4 figure item without understanding the secondary market for it. I assure you I could sell my ring for more than I paid, because 1) it’s high quality 2) it has a GIA grading 3) I didn’t overpay in the first place.

Did you buy it secondhand?

Yes, the stone. Had it set.

Ok then there you go. But what did the person you bought it from pay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So change it out.

This. Buy yourself a bigger ring if that’s what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband bought me a 7k 1 carat ring back when we got engaged 8 years ago. I was underwhelmed back then and as I saw other women in our circle get
Engaged with beautiful good quality rings worth 15k+

As we get older I am still angry and resentful. Was I not special or important enough for a nice ring?

This is shallow and love doesn’t need an expensive ring as a proof. I would be upset if mine bought me an expensive one. Even if I really wanted one, I would want to pay half of it to be fair.

[Anonymous]

What did you buy him for engagement?

[Anonymous]

Can I ask WHY it bothers you so much? Is it just keeping up with your friends?

We were super broke when we got engaged. My husband was working on a presidential campaign and I worked for a nonprofit. I didn't get an engagement ring. I was bummed at the time, but also it made sense. We've been together for 20 years and married for 14. Literally had zero impact on our relationship.

I think the only people who ever asked me about it was my midwest family, who are big on traditional stuff. No one else ever cared, or if for some weird reason they did, they never mentioned it to me.

[Anonymous]

He paid based on the value he anticipated receiving. Problem's on your end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess you’d be shocked, then, that this is my engagement ring: https://www.mikimotoamerica.com/us_en/morning-dew-ring-akoya-and-diamonds-2

I love the symbolism of the pearl. It was a significant purchase for us at the time (yes, we both contributed to it, since I thought it was not fair to expect my then fiancé to buy something expensive on his own when we were in our mid-20s and didn’t have a lot of money).

If other women prefer more expensive rings, that’s great for them. I love what I have; it’s very special to me.

I’m not OP but I’d be shocked anyone would not know pearls aren’t suitable for rings. I’m guessing you don’t wear it daily.

Someone should tell Mikimoto that.

Go ask mikimoto if a pearl ring should be worn daily as an engagement ring.

You’re such harpies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still resent my husband for not getting me a ring even once he could afford to. He makes so much money now and knows it was and is important to me and he still won’t do it.

Because he's smart enough to know it's a stupid waste of money.

[Anonymous]

Big engagement rings look silly if you're over like, 25. Just wear your wedding band like a grownup and save the engagement ring for special occasions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those rings are a waste of money. Actual value of a $5k ring is $500 (or less). Only fools are about them.

Only a fool buys a 4 figure item without understanding the secondary market for it. I assure you I could sell my ring for more than I paid, because 1) it’s high quality 2) it has a GIA grading 3) I didn’t overpay in the first place.

Did you buy it secondhand?

Yes, the stone. Had it set.

Ok then there you go. But what did the person you bought it from pay?

About 30% more than I paid.

[Anonymous]

Large engagement rings are trashy and passe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Large engagement rings are trashy and passe.

If that’s true I know a lot of upper class and fashionable women who missed the memo.