I resent my husband for getting me a cheap engagement ring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. Nobody will take your post seriously.

NP.. I kinda agree it might be a troll, but in case OP is not a troll..

what was DH's income back then? That matters.

When my sister got engaged, they didn't have much money, so yea, the ring wasn't all that nice. She was jealous of my ring when I got engaged, but DH (and I) were making good money. We were also a lot older when we got engaged compared to my sister.

Decades later, my sister's DH makes a lot more, and he got her a nice ring, nicer than mine, not that I care, really. I barely wear my engagement ring now. Stopped wearing it during the pandemic, and realize how much less of a hassle it is now without the ring.

Op here. He made about 75k. It’s a cheap setting as well. I hardly wear it due to embarrassment especially since all the women in our circle have rings worth 15k+ and the quality shows.

He makes more money now and says I can upgrade the setting of my ring. Really I want a nice 2 carat ring that will out do everyone else’s stupid ring they are so smug about!

How much do you make? Why not pay for the ring you want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. Nobody will take your post seriously.

NP.. I kinda agree it might be a troll, but in case OP is not a troll..

what was DH's income back then? That matters.

When my sister got engaged, they didn't have much money, so yea, the ring wasn't all that nice. She was jealous of my ring when I got engaged, but DH (and I) were making good money. We were also a lot older when we got engaged compared to my sister.

Decades later, my sister's DH makes a lot more, and he got her a nice ring, nicer than mine, not that I care, really. I barely wear my engagement ring now. Stopped wearing it during the pandemic, and realize how much less of a hassle it is now without the ring.

Op here. He made about 75k. It’s a cheap setting as well. I hardly wear it due to embarrassment especially since all the women in our circle have rings worth 15k+ and the quality shows.

He makes more money now and says I can upgrade the setting of my ring. Really I want a nice 2 carat ring that will out do everyone else’s stupid ring they are so smug about!

PP Here... ? are you for real? If you are .. wow... you sound like a horrible person, and I feel sorry for your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. Nobody will take your post seriously.

NP.. I kinda agree it might be a troll, but in case OP is not a troll..

what was DH's income back then? That matters.

When my sister got engaged, they didn't have much money, so yea, the ring wasn't all that nice. She was jealous of my ring when I got engaged, but DH (and I) were making good money. We were also a lot older when we got engaged compared to my sister.

Decades later, my sister's DH makes a lot more, and he got her a nice ring, nicer than mine, not that I care, really. I barely wear my engagement ring now. Stopped wearing it during the pandemic, and realize how much less of a hassle it is now without the ring.

Op here. He made about 75k. It’s a cheap setting as well. I hardly wear it due to embarrassment especially since all the women in our circle have rings worth 15k+ and the quality shows.

He makes more money now and says I can upgrade the setting of my ring. Really I want a nice 2 carat ring that will out do everyone else’s stupid ring they are so smug about!

You and your circle are focusing on the wrong things. He gave you the ring he could afford at the time, and obviously thought it was special then. Not everyone can spend $20k on a ring and not everyone should. If you want to upgrade, and you can afford it, fine, but stop complaining about your ring. Does it occur to you that it hurts his feelings when you complain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still resent my husband for not getting me a ring even once he could afford to. He makes so much money now and knows it was and is important to me and he still won’t do it.

Why don’t you buy your ring? Isn’t it all marital money anyway? If “he” can afford it, “you” can afford it. Make it a birthday or Christmas present and call it a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. Nobody will take your post seriously.

NP.. I kinda agree it might be a troll, but in case OP is not a troll..

what was DH's income back then? That matters.

When my sister got engaged, they didn't have much money, so yea, the ring wasn't all that nice. She was jealous of my ring when I got engaged, but DH (and I) were making good money. We were also a lot older when we got engaged compared to my sister.

Decades later, my sister's DH makes a lot more, and he got her a nice ring, nicer than mine, not that I care, really. I barely wear my engagement ring now. Stopped wearing it during the pandemic, and realize how much less of a hassle it is now without the ring.

Op here. He made about 75k. It’s a cheap setting as well. I hardly wear it due to embarrassment especially since all the women in our circle have rings worth 15k+ and the quality shows.

He makes more money now and says I can upgrade the setting of my ring. Really I want a nice 2 carat ring that will out do everyone else’s stupid ring they are so smug about!

People! Do not feed this troll!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. Nobody will take your post seriously.

NP.. I kinda agree it might be a troll, but in case OP is not a troll..

what was DH's income back then? That matters.

When my sister got engaged, they didn't have much money, so yea, the ring wasn't all that nice. She was jealous of my ring when I got engaged, but DH (and I) were making good money. We were also a lot older when we got engaged compared to my sister.

Decades later, my sister's DH makes a lot more, and he got her a nice ring, nicer than mine, not that I care, really. I barely wear my engagement ring now. Stopped wearing it during the pandemic, and realize how much less of a hassle it is now without the ring.

Op here. He made about 75k. It’s a cheap setting as well. I hardly wear it due to embarrassment especially since all the women in our circle have rings worth 15k+ and the quality shows.

He makes more money now and says I can upgrade the setting of my ring. Really I want a nice 2 carat ring that will out do everyone else’s stupid ring they are so smug about!

Consider for a moment that this is all in your head. You are insecure about your ring, but it does not follow that the women with rings you admire are flaunting them at you or judging your ring in return. Aside from ooh-ing and ahh-ing over a ring the first time I am informed of a new engagement, I rarely give any other thought to other women's rings. The exception is when someone has made an intentionally nontraditional choice and it stands out in my mind.

[Anonymous]

Whoa! I expected you to say he got you a cubic zirconia!

Gurrl, be happy with your $7k ring and do not waste time comparing to other people.

If it bothers you that much change it yourself. But you are being so shallow and ridiculous!

[Anonymous]

I agree this is a transparent troll but I sorta have to laugh. DH spent $8k on my ring and I thought it was the most wonderful, perfect, big, gorgeous diamond in the world. He’s a biglaw partner now and I still wear it with pride. It’s perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. Nobody will take your post seriously.

NP.. I kinda agree it might be a troll, but in case OP is not a troll..

what was DH's income back then? That matters.

When my sister got engaged, they didn't have much money, so yea, the ring wasn't all that nice. She was jealous of my ring when I got engaged, but DH (and I) were making good money. We were also a lot older when we got engaged compared to my sister.

Decades later, my sister's DH makes a lot more, and he got her a nice ring, nicer than mine, not that I care, really. I barely wear my engagement ring now. Stopped wearing it during the pandemic, and realize how much less of a hassle it is now without the ring.

Op here. He made about 75k. It’s a cheap setting as well. I hardly wear it due to embarrassment especially since all the women in our circle have rings worth 15k+ and the quality shows.

He makes more money now and says I can upgrade the setting of my ring. Really I want a nice 2 carat ring that will out do everyone else’s stupid ring they are so smug about!

One of the biggest mistakes couples make and one that leads to the majority of failed marriages is not being on the same page financially. You have to make sure that your partner's decision to work or not, their financial status and their attitudes towards spending are compatible with your own. If they aren't you'll have tension throughout your marriage. The marriages that I know that are the most stable are the ones that have good financial compatibility and understanding.

When we got married 20 years ago, I made over $100K, but I would never have spent $7K on an engagement ring or a wedding ring. My wife has the same values. We both preferred to spend less on a ring and put it towards other things that we valued more. It isn't that our choice is wrong, your DH's was wrong or yours is wrong, but in our case, we were compatible and had the same values. In your case, you don't have the same financial and spending values as your husband and that is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Those rings are a waste of money. Actual value of a $5k ring is $500 (or less). Only fools are about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those rings are a waste of money. Actual value of a $5k ring is $500 (or less). Only fools are about them.

Only a fool buys a 4 figure item without understanding the secondary market for it. I assure you I could sell my ring for more than I paid, because 1) it’s high quality 2) it has a GIA grading 3) I didn’t overpay in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those rings are a waste of money. Actual value of a $5k ring is $500 (or less). Only fools are about them.

Only a fool buys a 4 figure item without understanding the secondary market for it. I assure you I could sell my ring for more than I paid, because 1) it’s high quality 2) it has a GIA grading 3) I didn’t overpay in the first place.

Hey, want to buy some oceanfront property in Nebraska too?

[Anonymous]

Someone told my husband the new standard for engagement rings is 3 months of salary which back when we were dating would have been something like 15-20K. My response?

Only idiots spend that kind of cash on an engagement ring. I mean it too.

[Anonymous]

$7000 is cheap? Your "circle" has bigger, better rings? GET HELP you narcissistic jealous botch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband bought me a 7k 1 carat ring back when we got engaged 8 years ago. I was underwhelmed back then and as I saw other women in our circle get
Engaged with beautiful good quality rings worth 15k+

As we get older I am still angry and resentful. Was I not special or important enough for a nice ring?

You sound fun.