3rd date tomorrow and now have a cold sore- what to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say I was sick and reschedule. I would not even consider this a lie because when I get a cold sore it usually means my immune system is shot and I need to rest. Just tell him you are excited to see him but feeling really run down and wouldn't be fun to hang out with right now.

I can usually get rid of a cold sore in 4 days but if I try to rush it, it gets so much worse. And with a 3rd date... I wouldn't want to foreclose the possibility of intimacy but I would not want to be intimate with someone while I had a cold sore. And while I don't think a cold sore is anything to be ashamed of (like 80% of adults get them), I would also not want to mention it this early in knowing someone because it's definitely a vibe killer!

80% of Americans do not get cold sores. It’s more like 30%, and that’s not until you’re at age 50. People who get cold sores need to disclose that to people before they kiss them. You can pass herpes even when you have no sores. It is good that the original poster seems to take meds, because if you take them every day, it lowers your viral load and makes you less likely to be able to pass them on. But you really need to disclose this. You could spread this to your partner if you kiss them or if you perform oral sex. They get to decide whether or not they want to expose themselves to this, not you.

No, the point is that 50-80% of American adults have HSV-1. They may get cold sores or not, people display the virus in different ways and you can have HSV-1 and never get a cold sore. Since as you point out, you can transmit it to someone even if you have sores, this is why it's absurd to expect everyone to disclose this up front. Unless you are advocating for people to go get tested for HSV-1 before they ever start dating and then disclose even if they've never had a cold sore. Which you aren't.

If you are super worried about this, you can ask partners to screen for it and be very selective about who you date. But especially if you are over the age of 30 and dating people in your same age bracket, it's basically impossible to screen for it.

Also, you obviously don't understand the difference between HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-1 only causes cold sores on the mouth and is the very common one. You cannot get genital herpes from someone with HSV-1. If you don't understand this you need to educate yourself.

Nope. Lots if misinformation here. Only 30% of American fifty year olds have herpes 1. A lot of Americans do not have the virus. And yes, you can spread herpes one from your mouth to someone else’s genitals. People should disclose if they have cold sores. She shouldn’t hide it from this guy, which is what it seems she’s trying to do if she cancels the date.

Johns Hopkins disagrees with you. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2

WHO estimates that 67% of the World population under 50 has HSV-1 (https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus)

And HSV-1 is not an STD, but HSV-2 is. Most people how have HSV-1 most likely acquired it from a parent or other relative (maybe parents and grand-parents should stop kissing their kids).

HSV 1 on the lips can spread to the genitalia via oral sex.

This. I have a friend with it and she does have outbreaks. Relatively mild but still… who would want that? I’d be pissed off if my partner gave me that.

Well, good luck then! Hope you're not dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve dated a lot of people and kissed some of them too. Nobody ever disclosed it to me. I wouldn’t expect them too either. I highly doubt this is discussed in real life while dating unless someone had a cold sore. Nobody has disclosed HPV to me either and statistically, someone definitely had it. Do men even get checked for that yet?

Hmm. I got HPV from the first guy I ever slept with at age 18. By age 25, I was getting pre-cancerous pap smears and had to have surgery on my cervix and use a chemotheraputic drug.

Not telling is not right. It's one thing if you don't know, as HPV doesn't always show up as a wart (nor does HSV always show up as a cold sore), but if you know, you need to disclose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say I was sick and reschedule. I would not even consider this a lie because when I get a cold sore it usually means my immune system is shot and I need to rest. Just tell him you are excited to see him but feeling really run down and wouldn't be fun to hang out with right now.

I can usually get rid of a cold sore in 4 days but if I try to rush it, it gets so much worse. And with a 3rd date... I wouldn't want to foreclose the possibility of intimacy but I would not want to be intimate with someone while I had a cold sore. And while I don't think a cold sore is anything to be ashamed of (like 80% of adults get them), I would also not want to mention it this early in knowing someone because it's definitely a vibe killer!

80% of Americans do not get cold sores. It’s more like 30%, and that’s not until you’re at age 50. People who get cold sores need to disclose that to people before they kiss them. You can pass herpes even when you have no sores. It is good that the original poster seems to take meds, because if you take them every day, it lowers your viral load and makes you less likely to be able to pass them on. But you really need to disclose this. You could spread this to your partner if you kiss them or if you perform oral sex. They get to decide whether or not they want to expose themselves to this, not you.

No, the point is that 50-80% of American adults have HSV-1. They may get cold sores or not, people display the virus in different ways and you can have HSV-1 and never get a cold sore. Since as you point out, you can transmit it to someone even if you have sores, this is why it's absurd to expect everyone to disclose this up front. Unless you are advocating for people to go get tested for HSV-1 before they ever start dating and then disclose even if they've never had a cold sore. Which you aren't.

If you are super worried about this, you can ask partners to screen for it and be very selective about who you date. But especially if you are over the age of 30 and dating people in your same age bracket, it's basically impossible to screen for it.

Also, you obviously don't understand the difference between HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-1 only causes cold sores on the mouth and is the very common one. You cannot get genital herpes from someone with HSV-1. If you don't understand this you need to educate yourself.

Nope. Lots if misinformation here. Only 30% of American fifty year olds have herpes 1. A lot of Americans do not have the virus. And yes, you can spread herpes one from your mouth to someone else’s genitals. People should disclose if they have cold sores. She shouldn’t hide it from this guy, which is what it seems she’s trying to do if she cancels the date.

Johns Hopkins disagrees with you. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2

WHO estimates that 67% of the World population under 50 has HSV-1 (https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus)

And HSV-1 is not an STD, but HSV-2 is. Most people how have HSV-1 most likely acquired it from a parent or other relative (maybe parents and grand-parents should stop kissing their kids).

HSV 1 on the lips can spread to the genitalia via oral sex.

This. I have a friend with it and she does have outbreaks. Relatively mild but still… who would want that? I’d be pissed off if my partner gave me that.

Well, good luck then! Hope you're not dating.

I’m not. My partner and I both tested negative before we got exclusive. Married for 15 years. If I dated again I would ask for STD test before sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say I was sick and reschedule. I would not even consider this a lie because when I get a cold sore it usually means my immune system is shot and I need to rest. Just tell him you are excited to see him but feeling really run down and wouldn't be fun to hang out with right now.

I can usually get rid of a cold sore in 4 days but if I try to rush it, it gets so much worse. And with a 3rd date... I wouldn't want to foreclose the possibility of intimacy but I would not want to be intimate with someone while I had a cold sore. And while I don't think a cold sore is anything to be ashamed of (like 80% of adults get them), I would also not want to mention it this early in knowing someone because it's definitely a vibe killer!

80% of Americans do not get cold sores. It’s more like 30%, and that’s not until you’re at age 50. People who get cold sores need to disclose that to people before they kiss them. You can pass herpes even when you have no sores. It is good that the original poster seems to take meds, because if you take them every day, it lowers your viral load and makes you less likely to be able to pass them on. But you really need to disclose this. You could spread this to your partner if you kiss them or if you perform oral sex. They get to decide whether or not they want to expose themselves to this, not you.

No, the point is that 50-80% of American adults have HSV-1. They may get cold sores or not, people display the virus in different ways and you can have HSV-1 and never get a cold sore. Since as you point out, you can transmit it to someone even if you have sores, this is why it's absurd to expect everyone to disclose this up front. Unless you are advocating for people to go get tested for HSV-1 before they ever start dating and then disclose even if they've never had a cold sore. Which you aren't.

If you are super worried about this, you can ask partners to screen for it and be very selective about who you date. But especially if you are over the age of 30 and dating people in your same age bracket, it's basically impossible to screen for it.

Also, you obviously don't understand the difference between HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-1 only causes cold sores on the mouth and is the very common one. You cannot get genital herpes from someone with HSV-1. If you don't understand this you need to educate yourself.

Nope. Lots if misinformation here. Only 30% of American fifty year olds have herpes 1. A lot of Americans do not have the virus. And yes, you can spread herpes one from your mouth to someone else’s genitals. People should disclose if they have cold sores. She shouldn’t hide it from this guy, which is what it seems she’s trying to do if she cancels the date.

Johns Hopkins disagrees with you. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2

WHO estimates that 67% of the World population under 50 has HSV-1 (https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus)

And HSV-1 is not an STD, but HSV-2 is. Most people how have HSV-1 most likely acquired it from a parent or other relative (maybe parents and grand-parents should stop kissing their kids).

HSV 1 on the lips can spread to the genitalia via oral sex.

This. I have a friend with it and she does have outbreaks. Relatively mild but still… who would want that? I’d be pissed off if my partner gave me that.

Well, good luck then! Hope you're not dating.

I’m not. My partner and I both tested negative before we got exclusive. Married for 15 years. If I dated again I would ask for STD test before sex.

Great! But you'd better ask for it before kissing - or for that matter before using the same hand towel as other people at a party - if you are concerned about cold sores. Bring your own hand towels, I guess. Don't let anyone kiss you on the cheek either, if you haven't gotten their panel back - that includes your Aunt Kitty and your best friend's new boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 86 year old Mom gets cold sores and has for decades.
She was married to the same guy for 66 years (until he passed.) She goes to church every Sunday of her life.

I remember her getting them in her 30's. My guess is she picked HSV1 up somehow as a child.

Wholesome people get cold sores.

Is she catholic? She probably got it from the communal
Communion cup. The rate of her per among Latinos is way higher than among white, non Latino Americans. I think it’s because of communion.

[Anonymous]

As someone who got cold sores (only 2 outbreaks in several years) when I reentered the dating market in my 40s, I can say it's both inevitable and it still sucks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have herpes. You need to disclose that to him. I hope you have not kissed him without telling him you have herpes.

They likely have HSV-1. Somewhere between half and 80% of American adults have it. It's incredibly common and does not require some kind of special disclosure. But you shouldn't kiss someone when you have an active flare up because of course you don't want to spread it.

If you don't want to date anyone who might have HSV-1, then best of luck to you because you will eliminate a lot of potential dates this way.

You still must disclose. I got hsv1 on my genitals from an ex. Then I had to be extremely cautious when I gave birth. Not fun. People are too casual with cold sores.

My SIL had herpes which caused her baby to develop anencephalic (without a brain). She did not know of the anencephaly until the 8th month, had to search country-wide to get an abortion (very expensive at that stage) and finally was able to get her hospital to agree to do it (needed special permission at that time in that state). By the time she got to the hospital, the baby no longer had a heartbeat and was stillborn. Very traumatizing. Herpes is a virus that can seriously interfere with pregnancy.

To all of you who say everyone has it - a basic principle of consensual sex is that it is informed. If you have a transmissible disease - disclose, even if you think it is no big deal. Consent means that it is actually for your partner to decide whether and to what degree it is a factor in sexual consent.

Sounds like she had a shitty doctor nor this is bullshit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say I was sick and reschedule. I would not even consider this a lie because when I get a cold sore it usually means my immune system is shot and I need to rest. Just tell him you are excited to see him but feeling really run down and wouldn't be fun to hang out with right now.

I can usually get rid of a cold sore in 4 days but if I try to rush it, it gets so much worse. And with a 3rd date... I wouldn't want to foreclose the possibility of intimacy but I would not want to be intimate with someone while I had a cold sore. And while I don't think a cold sore is anything to be ashamed of (like 80% of adults get them), I would also not want to mention it this early in knowing someone because it's definitely a vibe killer!

80% of Americans do not get cold sores. It’s more like 30%, and that’s not until you’re at age 50. People who get cold sores need to disclose that to people before they kiss them. You can pass herpes even when you have no sores. It is good that the original poster seems to take meds, because if you take them every day, it lowers your viral load and makes you less likely to be able to pass them on. But you really need to disclose this. You could spread this to your partner if you kiss them or if you perform oral sex. They get to decide whether or not they want to expose themselves to this, not you.

No, the point is that 50-80% of American adults have HSV-1. They may get cold sores or not, people display the virus in different ways and you can have HSV-1 and never get a cold sore. Since as you point out, you can transmit it to someone even if you have sores, this is why it's absurd to expect everyone to disclose this up front. Unless you are advocating for people to go get tested for HSV-1 before they ever start dating and then disclose even if they've never had a cold sore. Which you aren't.

If you are super worried about this, you can ask partners to screen for it and be very selective about who you date. But especially if you are over the age of 30 and dating people in your same age bracket, it's basically impossible to screen for it.

Also, you obviously don't understand the difference between HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-1 only causes cold sores on the mouth and is the very common one. You cannot get genital herpes from someone with HSV-1. If you don't understand this you need to educate yourself.

Nope. Lots if misinformation here. Only 30% of American fifty year olds have herpes 1. A lot of Americans do not have the virus. And yes, you can spread herpes one from your mouth to someone else’s genitals. People should disclose if they have cold sores. She shouldn’t hide it from this guy, which is what it seems she’s trying to do if she cancels the date.

Johns Hopkins disagrees with you. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2

WHO estimates that 67% of the World population under 50 has HSV-1 (https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus)

And HSV-1 is not an STD, but HSV-2 is. Most people how have HSV-1 most likely acquired it from a parent or other relative (maybe parents and grand-parents should stop kissing their kids).

HSV 1 on the lips can spread to the genitalia via oral sex.

This. I have a friend with it and she does have outbreaks. Relatively mild but still… who would want that? I’d be pissed off if my partner gave me that.

Well, good luck then! Hope you're not dating.

I’m not. My partner and I both tested negative before we got exclusive. Married for 15 years. If I dated again I would ask for STD test before sex.

Have -1 isn't an STD or a standard test so I'm curious as to how you and your partner got tested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say I was sick and reschedule. I would not even consider this a lie because when I get a cold sore it usually means my immune system is shot and I need to rest. Just tell him you are excited to see him but feeling really run down and wouldn't be fun to hang out with right now.

I can usually get rid of a cold sore in 4 days but if I try to rush it, it gets so much worse. And with a 3rd date... I wouldn't want to foreclose the possibility of intimacy but I would not want to be intimate with someone while I had a cold sore. And while I don't think a cold sore is anything to be ashamed of (like 80% of adults get them), I would also not want to mention it this early in knowing someone because it's definitely a vibe killer!

80% of Americans do not get cold sores. It’s more like 30%, and that’s not until you’re at age 50. People who get cold sores need to disclose that to people before they kiss them. You can pass herpes even when you have no sores. It is good that the original poster seems to take meds, because if you take them every day, it lowers your viral load and makes you less likely to be able to pass them on. But you really need to disclose this. You could spread this to your partner if you kiss them or if you perform oral sex. They get to decide whether or not they want to expose themselves to this, not you.

No, the point is that 50-80% of American adults have HSV-1. They may get cold sores or not, people display the virus in different ways and you can have HSV-1 and never get a cold sore. Since as you point out, you can transmit it to someone even if you have sores, this is why it's absurd to expect everyone to disclose this up front. Unless you are advocating for people to go get tested for HSV-1 before they ever start dating and then disclose even if they've never had a cold sore. Which you aren't.

If you are super worried about this, you can ask partners to screen for it and be very selective about who you date. But especially if you are over the age of 30 and dating people in your same age bracket, it's basically impossible to screen for it.

Also, you obviously don't understand the difference between HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-1 only causes cold sores on the mouth and is the very common one. You cannot get genital herpes from someone with HSV-1. If you don't understand this you need to educate yourself.

Nope. Lots if misinformation here. Only 30% of American fifty year olds have herpes 1. A lot of Americans do not have the virus. And yes, you can spread herpes one from your mouth to someone else’s genitals. People should disclose if they have cold sores. She shouldn’t hide it from this guy, which is what it seems she’s trying to do if she cancels the date.

Johns Hopkins disagrees with you. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2

WHO estimates that 67% of the World population under 50 has HSV-1 (https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus)

And HSV-1 is not an STD, but HSV-2 is. Most people how have HSV-1 most likely acquired it from a parent or other relative (maybe parents and grand-parents should stop kissing their kids).

HSV 1 on the lips can spread to the genitalia via oral sex.

This. I have a friend with it and she does have outbreaks. Relatively mild but still… who would want that? I’d be pissed off if my partner gave me that.

Well, good luck then! Hope you're not dating.

I’m not. My partner and I both tested negative before we got exclusive. Married for 15 years. If I dated again I would ask for STD test before sex.

Have -1 isn't an STD or a standard test so I'm curious as to how you and your partner got tested.

You can request herpes on and herpes two as part of an std panel. I’ve done it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say I was sick and reschedule. I would not even consider this a lie because when I get a cold sore it usually means my immune system is shot and I need to rest. Just tell him you are excited to see him but feeling really run down and wouldn't be fun to hang out with right now.

I can usually get rid of a cold sore in 4 days but if I try to rush it, it gets so much worse. And with a 3rd date... I wouldn't want to foreclose the possibility of intimacy but I would not want to be intimate with someone while I had a cold sore. And while I don't think a cold sore is anything to be ashamed of (like 80% of adults get them), I would also not want to mention it this early in knowing someone because it's definitely a vibe killer!

80% of Americans do not get cold sores. It’s more like 30%, and that’s not until you’re at age 50. People who get cold sores need to disclose that to people before they kiss them. You can pass herpes even when you have no sores. It is good that the original poster seems to take meds, because if you take them every day, it lowers your viral load and makes you less likely to be able to pass them on. But you really need to disclose this. You could spread this to your partner if you kiss them or if you perform oral sex. They get to decide whether or not they want to expose themselves to this, not you.

No, the point is that 50-80% of American adults have HSV-1. They may get cold sores or not, people display the virus in different ways and you can have HSV-1 and never get a cold sore. Since as you point out, you can transmit it to someone even if you have sores, this is why it's absurd to expect everyone to disclose this up front. Unless you are advocating for people to go get tested for HSV-1 before they ever start dating and then disclose even if they've never had a cold sore. Which you aren't.

If you are super worried about this, you can ask partners to screen for it and be very selective about who you date. But especially if you are over the age of 30 and dating people in your same age bracket, it's basically impossible to screen for it.

Also, you obviously don't understand the difference between HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-1 only causes cold sores on the mouth and is the very common one. You cannot get genital herpes from someone with HSV-1. If you don't understand this you need to educate yourself.

Nope. Lots if misinformation here. Only 30% of American fifty year olds have herpes 1. A lot of Americans do not have the virus. And yes, you can spread herpes one from your mouth to someone else’s genitals. People should disclose if they have cold sores. She shouldn’t hide it from this guy, which is what it seems she’s trying to do if she cancels the date.

Johns Hopkins disagrees with you. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2

WHO estimates that 67% of the World population under 50 has HSV-1 (https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus)

And HSV-1 is not an STD, but HSV-2 is. Most people how have HSV-1 most likely acquired it from a parent or other relative (maybe parents and grand-parents should stop kissing their kids).

HSV 1 on the lips can spread to the genitalia via oral sex.

This. I have a friend with it and she does have outbreaks. Relatively mild but still… who would want that? I’d be pissed off if my partner gave me that.

Well, good luck then! Hope you're not dating.

I’m not. My partner and I both tested negative before we got exclusive. Married for 15 years. If I dated again I would ask for STD test before sex.

Have -1 isn't an STD or a standard test so I'm curious as to how you and your partner got tested.

You can request herpes on and herpes two as part of an std panel. I’ve done it.

*herpes one

[Anonymous]

You all do realize that many kids contract HSV1 from daycare, preschool, playgrounds, Kindergarten, etc, right? Are you requesting testing of every child with whom yours might come into contact?
I get not wanting to have cold sores, but some of this discussion is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I think you should just tell him and see how he reacts. He might say it’s not big deal, he might run away. Do you want to be with him if he’s going to base a whole potential relationship on one cold sore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is so weird about HSV-1 . I would bet my entire life savings that everyone in this thread has it. Not having cold sores does not mean you don't have it

I don’t. I got checked for hsv 1 & 2 because my doctor thought I did. I have neither. Not everybody has it.

If your doctor thought you might have genital herpes (HSV-2), I'm guessing you have stuff going on that means you should probably not be looking down your nose at people who get cold sores.

1. The person I responded to said “I’ll bet my life savings everybody on this thread has hsv” to which I replied, I don’t. So yes, somebody did say everybody had it.
2. I don’t look down my nose at folks who have stds. And I do my best to not say anything mean on DCUM.
3. I’ve never had an STD myself.
4. What I did have was not HSV or any other std. It wasn’t infectious. It was more like a rash. A horrible rash, but still rash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is so weird about HSV-1 . I would bet my entire life savings that everyone in this thread has it. Not having cold sores does not mean you don't have it

And Americans in general are very weird about HSV-2 as well. In the rest of the world, no one cares. The only American I ever had sex with is a doctor and he just laughed when I told him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have herpes. You need to disclose that to him. I hope you have not kissed him without telling him you have herpes.

They likely have HSV-1. Somewhere between half and 80% of American adults have it. It's incredibly common and does not require some kind of special disclosure. But you shouldn't kiss someone when you have an active flare up because of course you don't want to spread it.

If you don't want to date anyone who might have HSV-1, then best of luck to you because you will eliminate a lot of potential dates this way.

You still must disclose. I got hsv1 on my genitals from an ex. Then I had to be extremely cautious when I gave birth. Not fun. People are too casual with cold sores.

My SIL had herpes which caused her baby to develop anencephalic (without a brain). She did not know of the anencephaly until the 8th month, had to search country-wide to get an abortion (very expensive at that stage) and finally was able to get her hospital to agree to do it (needed special permission at that time in that state). By the time she got to the hospital, the baby no longer had a heartbeat and was stillborn. Very traumatizing. Herpes is a virus that can seriously interfere with pregnancy.

To all of you who say everyone has it - a basic principle of consensual sex is that it is informed. If you have a transmissible disease - disclose, even if you think it is no big deal. Consent means that it is actually for your partner to decide whether and to what degree it is a factor in sexual consent.

Sounds like she had a shitty doctor nor this is bullshit

I'm also curious about this. They do a full anatomy scan at 20 weeks. How did she not know until 8 months?