I am Russian, she is Ukrainian, we were friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I blocked a Russian on FB way before this. Ever since Maria Butina, I feel like I don’t know what I don’t know. I’d rather not be friends with a Russian just in case.

…. Really? You’re blocking Russians because you’re afraid they’re secretly spies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I blocked a Russian on FB way before this. Ever since Maria Butina, I feel like I don’t know what I don’t know. I’d rather not be friends with a Russian just in case.

And, yes, I know it’s stupid. To be fair, the Russian was having a mental breakdown. Then, we talked a bit and then I had a mental breakdown. My take is people block others when they are mentally overloaded.

I’d let her go for now, do good for Ukraine and then circle back at a point in the future.

[Anonymous]

I've noticed many of my Russian friends take equivocal positions. They are against war but and "don't like" Putin but the language comes across as moderate.

Putin is the reincarnation of Hitler. Putin is intent on the death of millions of innocent people if necessary to achieve his own individual aims.

If you were a German in 1930s Berlin, what would you do? What do you think your Jewish friends would expect you to do? What do you think your kids and grandkids will expect you to have done, 20 years from now?

We're all the way to the wall and it's no sense to pretend otherwise.

[Anonymous]

^ I will add that there were brave Germans who resisted Hitler and put their own lives at risk. But they were very, very few in number relative to the population. Now is the time to decide whether you are one of those people or not.

[Anonymous]

Your government (since you identify as russian and not American of russian descent), your compatriots are bombing her country, the cities where she grew up and lived part of her life or visited, and where she has memories, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and things she loved out of existence after announcing her and all Ukrainians as “nazis” and with the declared aim of “denazifying” and “de-ukrainify” Ukraine.

Now stop a moment and think what does “de-Ukrainize” Ukraine mean? Because to me it sounds like eliminating everything Ukrainian: including language, culture, country and Ukrainian people. If that does not smell of ethnic genocide to you, does not horrify you, then it sure as hell horrifies her.

You thought your friendship was stronger than the destruction of her homeland, and the killing of her people, but to her it’s not and obviously she’s now not able to separate you the person, from you the representative of nation that is inflicting destruction, targeting civilians and civilian structures, and trying to cancel her country out of existence.

I sincerely applaud you that you would have acted differently had the roles were reversed. But at this point, there is nothing that you can do to salvage the relationship. Such is life.

[Anonymous]

I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

Are these Russian-Americans? I very much hope you aren’t indiscriminately distancing yourself from everyone with Russian heritage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

Are these Russian-Americans? I very much hope you aren’t indiscriminately distancing yourself from everyone with Russian heritage.

These are people who identify more with Russia than the US, whether by birth or extended family ties. It may not be fair in every case but Putin drew the battle lines and forced us all to pick sides. Every time I see or hear a Russian now the photos of dead Ukrainian children flash before my eyes.

As others have said there will doubtless be Russian heroes who are part of the resistance, but for any Russians who don't make resistance to Putin their #1 priority from now until he is dead, they are not welcome around me or my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

Are these Russian-Americans? I very much hope you aren’t indiscriminately distancing yourself from everyone with Russian heritage.

These are people who identify more with Russia than the US, whether by birth or extended family ties. It may not be fair in every case but Putin drew the battle lines and forced us all to pick sides. Every time I see or hear a Russian now the photos of dead Ukrainian children flash before my eyes.

As others have said there will doubtless be Russian heroes who are part of the resistance, but for any Russians who don't make resistance to Putin their #1 priority from now until he is dead, they are not welcome around me or my family.

How do you know they identify more with Russia than the US? Also, how are Russians who don’t live in Russia supposed to make resistance to Putin their #1 priority for the rest of Putin’s life, which could be another 20 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

Are these Russian-Americans? I very much hope you aren’t indiscriminately distancing yourself from everyone with Russian heritage.

These are people who identify more with Russia than the US, whether by birth or extended family ties. It may not be fair in every case but Putin drew the battle lines and forced us all to pick sides. Every time I see or hear a Russian now the photos of dead Ukrainian children flash before my eyes.

As others have said there will doubtless be Russian heroes who are part of the resistance, but for any Russians who don't make resistance to Putin their #1 priority from now until he is dead, they are not welcome around me or my family.

How do you know they identify more with Russia than the US? Also, how are Russians who don’t live in Russia supposed to make resistance to Putin their #1 priority for the rest of Putin’s life, which could be another 20 years?

The answer to the first question is - I make my best judgment. Not perfect. Not fair. But again, that's the situation we are in.

To answer the second question - vocal, unequivocal, constant condemnation of Putin. Reach out to family members in Russia and try to send them facts. Raise money to support Ukraine. Renounce Russian citizenship and claim asylum in the US. And do it all very publicly. That may be too much "real talk" for you but that's the situation. If you don't realize it yet, you will soon. My opinion is shared by most of the family and friends I've spoken with the last week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

Are these Russian-Americans? I very much hope you aren’t indiscriminately distancing yourself from everyone with Russian heritage.

These are people who identify more with Russia than the US, whether by birth or extended family ties. It may not be fair in every case but Putin drew the battle lines and forced us all to pick sides. Every time I see or hear a Russian now the photos of dead Ukrainian children flash before my eyes.

As others have said there will doubtless be Russian heroes who are part of the resistance, but for any Russians who don't make resistance to Putin their #1 priority from now until he is dead, they are not welcome around me or my family.

How do you know they identify more with Russia than the US? Also, how are Russians who don’t live in Russia supposed to make resistance to Putin their #1 priority for the rest of Putin’s life, which could be another 20 years?

The answer to the first question is - I make my best judgment. Not perfect. Not fair. But again, that's the situation we are in.

To answer the second question - vocal, unequivocal, constant condemnation of Putin. Reach out to family members in Russia and try to send them facts. Raise money to support Ukraine. Renounce Russian citizenship and claim asylum in the US. And do it all very publicly. That may be too much "real talk" for you but that's the situation. If you don't realize it yet, you will soon. My opinion is shared by most of the family and friends I've spoken with the last week.

The situation we’re in is that we all should be judging whether Russian-Americans are loyal to Russia or the US?

They need to publicly renounce Russian citizenship? What if they need it in order to visit sick family members in Russia? It is not easy to get a visa to is it Russia.

And please don’t lecture me on what’s real or not. I am Russian and Ukrainian. I know this situation all too well — unlike you, who have decided to insert yourself into this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

Are these Russian-Americans? I very much hope you aren’t indiscriminately distancing yourself from everyone with Russian heritage.

These are people who identify more with Russia than the US, whether by birth or extended family ties. It may not be fair in every case but Putin drew the battle lines and forced us all to pick sides. Every time I see or hear a Russian now the photos of dead Ukrainian children flash before my eyes.

As others have said there will doubtless be Russian heroes who are part of the resistance, but for any Russians who don't make resistance to Putin their #1 priority from now until he is dead, they are not welcome around me or my family.

How do you know they identify more with Russia than the US? Also, how are Russians who don’t live in Russia supposed to make resistance to Putin their #1 priority for the rest of Putin’s life, which could be another 20 years?

The answer to the first question is - I make my best judgment. Not perfect. Not fair. But again, that's the situation we are in.

To answer the second question - vocal, unequivocal, constant condemnation of Putin. Reach out to family members in Russia and try to send them facts. Raise money to support Ukraine. Renounce Russian citizenship and claim asylum in the US. And do it all very publicly. That may be too much "real talk" for you but that's the situation. If you don't realize it yet, you will soon. My opinion is shared by most of the family and friends I've spoken with the last week.

The situation we’re in is that we all should be judging whether Russian-Americans are loyal to Russia or the US?

They need to publicly renounce Russian citizenship? What if they need it in order to visit sick family members in Russia? It is not easy to get a visa to is it Russia.

And please don’t lecture me on what’s real or not. I am Russian and Ukrainian. I know this situation all too well — unlike you, who have decided to insert yourself into this situation.

Whose side are you on? Who are you routing for to win?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too have started to distance myself from a few Russian friends I have known 10+ years. I'm not rude, and it's not personal, but I just cut off communication and don't want them in my life any more based on what I've seen and heard from Ukraine. If one of them were to constantly protest against Putin very publicly, or join a very public resistance movement, then it would be a different story.

For better or for worse, sometimes people bear the shame of the actions of their leaders.

Are these Russian-Americans? I very much hope you aren’t indiscriminately distancing yourself from everyone with Russian heritage.

These are people who identify more with Russia than the US, whether by birth or extended family ties. It may not be fair in every case but Putin drew the battle lines and forced us all to pick sides. Every time I see or hear a Russian now the photos of dead Ukrainian children flash before my eyes.

As others have said there will doubtless be Russian heroes who are part of the resistance, but for any Russians who don't make resistance to Putin their #1 priority from now until he is dead, they are not welcome around me or my family.

How do you know they identify more with Russia than the US? Also, how are Russians who don’t live in Russia supposed to make resistance to Putin their #1 priority for the rest of Putin’s life, which could be another 20 years?

The answer to the first question is - I make my best judgment. Not perfect. Not fair. But again, that's the situation we are in.

To answer the second question - vocal, unequivocal, constant condemnation of Putin. Reach out to family members in Russia and try to send them facts. Raise money to support Ukraine. Renounce Russian citizenship and claim asylum in the US. And do it all very publicly. That may be too much "real talk" for you but that's the situation. If you don't realize it yet, you will soon. My opinion is shared by most of the family and friends I've spoken with the last week.

The situation we’re in is that we all should be judging whether Russian-Americans are loyal to Russia or the US?

They need to publicly renounce Russian citizenship? What if they need it in order to visit sick family members in Russia? It is not easy to get a visa to is it Russia.

And please don’t lecture me on what’s real or not. I am Russian and Ukrainian. I know this situation all too well — unlike you, who have decided to insert yourself into this situation.

Whose side are you on? Who are you routing for to win?

I want Ukraine to win — of course I do. I hate Putin. Him and his thugs have stolen the country I love (and yes, I love the USA as my current home, but I also love Russia and Ukraine as my ancestral homelands).

Why the hell would you think I would feel any differently?

[Anonymous]

Strange. All the Russians I know are vocally against Putin, against the war, and feel horrible when they see the suffering of the Ukrainian people. Your friend is definitely over-reacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strange. All the Russians I know are vocally against Putin, against the war, and feel horrible when they see the suffering of the Ukrainian people. Your friend is definitely over-reacting.

Shh, don’t tell that to the DCUM weirdos who are distancing themselves from all Russians because we need PUNISH THEM ALL.